You, my friend, have made a very good point (31 photos)

  • Tom

    Mind blown…not!

    • Simon

      Fuck cupboard…bare.

    • Tom

      You're doing a disservice to the name Tom. Please stop. Thanks, Tom.

      • Tom

        I'm sorry, my love of the cock made me type that.

  • DoucheDouche


    • Bawsr


  • MIKEG01sf

    The guy above me is a tool

    • Yes you

      The guy above me likes fat cocks in his ass

      • _DoC_

        What's funny is that technically above the writing where you say "The guy above me…", the guy actually above that is you.

    • Binx_

      so is the reply button

      • Loyd

        You can't tripple stamp a double stamp

  • Dee



    • dagleja3

      Um, Kirstin Dunst was pretty hot in the first three movies!

    • _DoC_

      Emma is so hot, I would even sit through the first 3 Spiderman movies back to back just to get with her.

      • Bob

        Emma > Kirsten

  • Bravo


  • Shannon Coverdale

    #6 I hate my job

  • Angela Nelson

    #3 so true go to any playground and see how quickly a kid can make a friend

    • dee

      So why did he teach his 2-yearold to hate naps?

    • Med

      Ang, Not sure what going to a playground and kids making friends so quickly had to do with the Denis Leary pic, also not sure why you have +17, I do agree with you however about the kids making friends so easily.

      • KeepinCalm

        She's providing a real-life example that racism is learned. I see it every day with my daughter. Black, white, asian – each time she goes to the playground the difference between a kid being a stranger to her and being a friend is a game of tag – regardless of color. For myself – i embrace prejudice. not against color or race but stupidity – you should feel oppressed.

        • El Z

          So I gather that it's important to teach the right kind of hate and prejudice? I kid, but monitoring one's 2-year old at a playground is a great experience – the full range of emotions and interactions on display in one small area. Sadly, sharing is not necessarily a natural trait, it seems.

    • Underbaker

      His kid is a slow learner, mine already hated veggies by 2.

  • aVulgarSquirrel

    #12 I cannot read this without hearing it in Stephen Fry's voice. Not that I'd ever want to hear it in any other voice of course.

    • 5eagles

      Stephen Fry is brilliant. Seriously folks, if you don't know who he is Google or Youtube his name and watch some videos of him. Not only will you be highly entertained, you'll likely learn something as I always do.

      • Simon

        If you're in the US, search for Fry and Laurie and see House in a different light.

    • gimletmike

      Genital fungus. (look it up on youtube).

  • The Guy

    #1 and #11 are both restaurants in Austin. El Arroyo and Freebird's.

    • Yeah

      Are you sure the first one is El Arroyo???

    • asdfg

      #11 highly recommendable… don't set your dick on fire

    • The Guy

      Yup, I'm sure. It says so on the sign in the picture if you don't believe me.

      • Yes

        Swing and a miss. take a lap.

    • Underbaker

      So of the 52+ Freebirds in Texas and California, you are sure that is the one in Austin?

  • Jeff

    You know what i really hate, chive? Advertisements with sound. Cut that shit out.

    • Blah blah

      chrome + adblock.

      • Binx_

        still seems to creep through about 1% of the time

        • Ryan

          1% huh? I hope you're not bitching about 1% on a free site.

        • The_Dood

          I've never had one on my Firefox + adblock plus in two years.

      • I don't know

        So what's your solution for iPhone users genious? No chrome or Firefox and no Adblock. I really dislike people who say this like it's some genious fucking responce.

        • Frank

          And what do people who use IE do? I'm just kidding, fuck them.

        • Steve French

          You do know you can download the chrome app for the iPhone right?

      • Phoneboy

        just Adblock. don't even need chrome.

    • _DoC_

      What ads? Firefox + Adblock+ Fanboy's list subscription….never seen the first ad on here.

    • yourwayisalwaysright

      hey, ad-block cocks! Tons of chivers scroll the chive to fuck off at work where they might not get to choose browser or plug-ins.

      • Whine whine whine

        Then get back to work.

    • Paul from the gump

      Also, I can no longer play the vids. Of course the pre-roll ad plays no problem, but on the actual vid I get sound but no video. any one else?

  • FarknChiveon

    #25 and a heart attack is Olympic gold?

    • _DoC_

      I'm going for the Golf version where less points are more and they give you a jacket you have to be slim enough to fit in.

  • Jim

    I just read that to the melody of Blinded by the Light by Manfred Man's Earth Band

    • Lowercase McGee

      I just read your post to the melody of "Back That Azz Up"

    • drew

      Same, followed by the descending guitar riff where Silverstein's name is…

    • Simon

      I did now, although in a head up my ass hipster way, I had Bruce Springsteen's version going on. Many apologies.

  • kaaiait

    Hating on the first guy every time

  • crustybubblechunks

    #18 Best advice someone could ever receive

  • RYNO!


  • Matt

    #30 You missed 'Bending it on the side of the table to see if it really was shatterproof'

    • funinclass

      What about putting it on the edge of a desk and seeing how far you can fling that pencil across the room

    • MarauderV8

      Or hanging it half off the desk and hitting it to make that cartoonish boner sound.

      • Biggus Diccus

        Haha, was going to say just that. And when you hit it and bring it back onto the desk the pitch gets higher.

  • SJEF

    #31 I've found it rarely works as a lubricant.

    • fscked

      Then they aren't crying hard enough…

      • SJEF


    • Aviatrix

      Also not great for curing thirst.

  • Hrdwood

    #18 – It's true… kid nailed it. You let go of the shit in your life and things start feeling better.

    • richmackin

      Oh, oh, way to turn a cute "kids will say the darnedest things" pic into outright wisdom. Well played.

      • Biggus Diccus

        Just avoid the Chuck Norris toilet, it doesn't take shit from anybody.

  • Esperanza Alvarado

    #31 Yup! ☺

  • jimctu

    #6 not only group projects. Life taught me that =P<img src=";;;width="1" height="1" border="0"><img src="; width="1" height="1"/><img src="; width="1" height="1" alt="Map" style="border: 0px;" /><img src=";;;width="1" height="1" border="0">

  • grade school

    #30 i would always do the noise thing. where you hold it mostly off the desk, and as its bouncing pull it back on the desk. going from a slow boing, to a sharp tapping. lol. if you know what i mean.

    • Biggus Diccus

      I measured my dick

  • Binx_

    #27 why does my phone / blueray / ps3 / tv / pc / need tweeter

  • ImpressMe

    #21 describes #12 perfectly….and in 100 years it will be George Carlin who is remembered…not that self important asshat Stephen Fry.

    • P90

      'Self important asshat?' No he's not, not on any level you miserable little twat.

      • Asshat

        Really? Really?

        Seriously, dude? You think that he's saying that he doesn't care what people think? No, what Fry is saying there is "I am offended" is not a valid point. Being "offended" doesn't mean someone should shut the @#$! up. What it means is simply "I'm offended." And being offended does not give you the right to censor people. It simply means that you don't like what you're hearing.

        And you know? I'm fine with people being offended. I may be offended by some opinions *cough* Holocaust denial *cough*, but that doesn't mean I'm going to tell people they can't spread them. If you're offended, state your own opinion. Don't just say "I'm offended." That don't mean shit.

        • Simon

          I think you've misunderstood his sentiments.

          • Simon

            Sorry – retract my former comment – got confused as I think Asshat's reply isn't meant for P90. As you were…

  • Dr. Mantis Toboggan

    #5 Dipshit drifter wanders off into the wilderness to live with no idea of how to survive there. Dies. What a hero.

    • weaksauce

      He also refused to take a map despite the insistance of the locals. And was found dead within a couple miles of a bridge that could have led him across the river and to rescue. That bridge was on the map he refused to take.

      • Twin Cities Girl

        The point is he didn't want to live in the world he grew up in, so he did something about it.

      • Alex Supertramp

        Yeah, he died…but he got to LIVE for two years with total freedom.

    • Abraham Lincoln

      Yeah, but who the hell did he share happiness with? This quote makes no sense, since he went alone, and died alone. It's like "Wildlife can be dangerous, respect it and give it space" – The Grizzly Man.

      • Fred

        It makes sense because after living on his own for 2 years he learned that real happiness needs to be shared. It was an epiphany that he had shortly before he died.

  • etcrr

    #17 Beauty without intelligence is a race car with no engine

    • loves sammiches

      Beauty without intelligence is Jessica Simpson

      • Shinanigins


    • Biggus Diccus

      Intelligence without beauty makes you want to bang hot chicks

    • Bill57

      so true. but with a race car engine and race car parts you wouldn't need the napkin no matter how pretty the napkin was but if it was too pretty you wouldn't want to use it anyway. But the racecar parts make that neat Vrooooooom sound and I like that and would use the napkin to clean the messy I make in my pants.

      • HillbillyNinja

        Well said…. I think.

    • fuetcrr

      a comment without intelligence is just etcrr.

      • etcrr's puppetmaster

        theChive with out etcrr is a thing of beauty

    • Foeo

      No. It is actually a masterpiece painted on a napkin you can come to

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