Everything is true (38 Photos)

  • Wacko30

    #26 Is a freaking genius

    • electric boogalo

      I couldn't afford freeze pops.

      • http://twitter.com/ItIsDanTheMan @ItIsDanTheMan

        Yeah I did that with a couple prepackaged frozen margaritas and I almost got frost bite.

        But then I drank the margaritas and all was right in the world.

    • Pants

      How can you not afford ice and a plastic bag?

  • TheAssMan

    #1 Don't forget
    "Everyone wants to punch him in the fucking face"

    • voonoo

      HEY ASSMAN!!!

      • Gooch


        • Anonymous

          Dude, you so dumb if you think a real man just runs up punches someone. your a bitch pussy if you do that. Because I know how to be a real man because of all my years spent fishing and choppin wood.

          • Epitomizer


            • A Cat

              MEow Meow Mwooooey meo meowwwwwwwww

              • Epitomizer

                Makes about as much sense…

    • Commentman

      Actually according to a study done by noonegivesaflyingfuck.com only 67% of people want to punch comment man in the face. And furthermore those that do want to punch him in the face are mad about the content of the comment and not that he commented in the first place……. Are you impressed with how I internet yet?

    • Commentman!

      Actually according to a study done by noonegivesaflyingfuck.com only 67% of people want to punch comment man in the face. And furthermore those that do want to punch him in the face are mad about the content of the comment and not that he commented in the first place……. Are you impressed with how I internet yet?

      • cdnSamSquanch

        double post 3 min apart makes me sad at how you internet

    • danharmonlives

      does that mean everyone here in this page and in this website are not allowed to comment since everyone is capable of commenting? also, does that mean that all comments posted on this page and on other pages in this website are irrelevant, especially this one comment of mine?

  • StarboardEngine

    Hipster code of conduct.

    • mongoose5271

      And here I always thought the one with the skinniest jeans had the right of way…damn hipsters…

      • Oltimey

        Tie goes to the hipster with the most obscure LP in their backpack.

        • Big Poppa

          Beard etiquette pre-dates hipsters by at least the length of a Merlin.

    • Janus

      god damn hipsters, they ruined beards… :'-(

  • Werd

    I really hope I'm not first cause I don't have anything witty or funny to say :/

    • ajr

      We can tell..

      • Mikeg01sf


    • UhHuh

      Nice waste of prime first page comment space pee pee head.

  • Alex

    #29 that kid knows what's up, he should be congratulated

    • Thrill

      That's why the teacher wants to see him

  • Ross

    #21 All the real men play Rugby. But the best help defend our Nation.

    • Wantomas

      I want to downthumb the first comment, but the second comment wont let me. Fucking internet loophole.

    • crazydog

      real men play aussie rules football.

      • ozed

        big men, in little boys shorts

    • guest

      Rugby is a joke. Name one well known athlete from a rugby team

  • sfb101

    #4 Yup!
    #7 Great!

  • Porkins

    I just read a book to my kid about saving trees. Then I had to explain to my child that the book was made of paper and I introduced her to the concept of irony. #19

  • Derp

    #11 or use someone elses remote

    • Firefighter23

      Or get ice from their fridge.

  • TheVanityScore

    i laughed at #38

  • DDD

    #5 Real truth—Guys wearing these shirts NEVER get laid..

    • ForeverAlone

      Guy wearing FBI Federal Bikini Inspector Hat agrees

    • Hmmm

      Hahaha, does rape count?

      • steve

        Its not rape if you yell surprise first, then its just surprise sex

    • SmokeyTheBear

      When I see a helmet like that I expect to hear, "Hi, I'm Dicknose, welcome to Jackass".

  • Ispeakchive

    #1 It's not easy being me.

    • Mrs Cleaver Was Hot

      Thumbs up for your callsign…

      "Oh stewardess! I speak jive."

  • Canucks_Rule

    #7 – mind = blown.

  • Mikeg01sf

    Bacon or boobs. The great monday debate. Go.

  • Guest

    #16 is also why America has the best athletes. We only took the strongest from Africa.

    • Guest is an assbag

      You just had to go there….

      • sigh

        But entirely accurate…… and Lincoln wanted to ship them off for colonization

        • Lboogie13

          Where did you learn your history, Wikipedia?

        • Jake

          It's true

      • Lboogie13

        Agreed. That comment has no place on the Chive. 21 people up voted that crap.

    • Race card

      Because all of America's athletes and Olympians are black… Dumb.

  • tv_paul

    #23 What if Macaroni & Cheese are the names of your twin step-sisters?

    • CalculatedRisk

      Here in South Africa, our biggest pasta brand is Fatti & Moni. Much more appropriate names for step-sisters…

  • White Kid

    #27, yeah ALL white kids grow up in houses like that. DUMB.

    • guest

      Where is that ?

    • MylesofStyles

      Damn straight. Some are born poor and have to make their way to get a pad like that…like Eminem and shit.

      • Fumos

        I've heard of Eminem, but who is this shit you speak of? Try not to type like you talk and stuff ok?

        • MylesofStyles

          Because fuck you. That's why.

    • Peerless

      I'll bet Kanye's kids grow up in a house like that…

    • Hypocritical world

      Didn't you guys hear? Racism toward white people is totally ok

      • ChuckyJesus

        Getting stereotyped as being rich is racism?That's gotta be tough.

        You just made this picture that much more accurate.

  • David

    Loving #4

  • mumbly_joe83

    #24 There is no age limit on Happy Meals

    • Hrdwood

      When my wife tells me I'm a "few fries short of a Happy Meal", what does she mean exactly?

    • BFM

      There should be a weight limit though.


      #24 The dude's the same size in both pics, so I think he figured that out… I think they're commenting on the before and after of realizing how bad the food is for you, instead of the ablity to order Happy Meals…

  • hello please


    • George Zip

      #12 was obviously written by someone too young to remember the high pitch squeal and color bars that were at the very end of a lot of video tapes.

    • Rusty Shackleford

      yeah, i dont think the captioner ever met the metal dragon that lived inside my VCR and made horrible noises and clicking sounds as he plotted my death…

  • Rich

    #6 too high

  • bdtrngl

    #6 Only if you have that stupid membership card they push on you every time you walk in the door.

  • alex

    #6 Everyone gives gamestop a hard time but if it were for EA, Ubisoft, Activision and other publishers forcing Online Codes and other bullshit DRM making game trades worthless as the new owner would have to pay for a new code off of the publisher gamestop would give decent money again..

    Blame the publishers for actively (and actually saying) that game trades should be illegal.

    • Levian

      It's only because eb games doesn't give the publishers a cent of used game profits, while only charging a grand total of $3 less for a used copy.

      When 50 people buy a game and return it in a week, then 50 more buy the used copies that's less money they get to make their next game even more awesome.

      The only solutions I can see is either EB charging half price on used games, EB games paying half of the price of used games to the publisher, or all games needing some sort of one time use code

      • Nuked

        EB and GameStop actually used to pay to some companies. When they stopped we got the online code crap.

        • Hatter

          So would selling a used car be illegal then?

  • TXCherokee

    #37 Even as a CHL holding Texan, I think this is definitely the more manly way..

    • Groggy

      I agree whole-heartedly with this one.

      Then you would actually have to be a Badass in order to act like one.

  • Rose

    #5 Wow Chive really? This douche is basically promoting a form of rape. Let's keep it classy shall we?

    • SirCtheIII

      A form of rape? Perhaps he is merely expressing his opinion about his love of blow jobs and clit licking, using this magical little thing called freedom of speech?

    • frogy8thefly

      You are literally to stupid to insult

      • The Grammar Police

        *too stupid to insult

    • Groggy

      Remember kids: Oral sex is rape.

    • bizarrogreg

      Some people just need to complain about everything

    • rem

      Yeah and who ever accused the chive of being classy?

    • Dave

      Obviously you didn't take the advice

    • SGT_Fati

      Hey according to Bill Clinton a blow job isn't even sex so your argument is invalid Rose. Also, enjoy being single….

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