That right there is a very good point (34 Photos)

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  • lee

    1

    • Beast24

      LOOKOUT !! We got a badass over here !

  • DannoTheManno88

    #23 I raise my glass to you

    • nyclipper72

      You think he had a YOLO tat?

      • Wantomas

        Ha. Heroine is pretty bad shit. Oh well, YOLO! Great philosophy to raise your glass to.

        • DannoTheManno88

          I highly doubt that Jimi ever said YOLO – but he was a musical god, served his country in Vietnam, then came back to protest the war. What did you do?

          • Wantomas

            Well, I kicked my heroine habit for starters

            • DannoTheManno88

              *golf clap

              You KCCO there buddy. I hope things start to go better for you. Maybe one day after you're gone people may remember you for being the best you could be and not for your mishaps or struggles.

    • Iceman2509

      I bet if he saw that his life was going to end a few years later, he would have thought before he made that comment.

    • RSTLN E

      1983…A Merman I Should Turn to Be

  • tv_paul

    #14 But if you start out with lemons does that mean you also have a sour puss?

    • Guest

      “I’ve been thinking. When life gives you lemons? Don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought is could give me lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s going to burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m going to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

      • Jen

        my friend has this framed on her wall. love it.

      • Terwilliger

        " if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka" – Ron White

    • dutchie

      Palindrome: "No lemons, no melon."

      • MylesofStyles

        Thunderdome: "Two man enter, one man leave."

  • Carl

    I want to design a chive shirt for girls that says "Do you want Moar?"

    • FunKiller

      I don't think you should 'want' to, I think you should do it!

    • a-nom

      A passer by commenter has an idea for a shirt that surpasses any design produced lately…weird…

    • Steve

      You should do it. That way the chive can print 9 of them and announce for two weeks that they are coming. Sell out of them. Then post 9 pictures of attention whores taking pictures of themselves in the mirror wearing the shirts.

      • DirtBag

        I hope they do. I love looking at the 'attention whores' on this sight.

    • D.P.

      Or, ask me about my flbp, and when they lift their shirt up there is an arrow pointing down at their breasties

  • Braj

    #16 Clifford don't care. Clifford don't give a fuck.

    • whyme1973

      I laughed harder than I should have.

  • blue_bronco

    #29
    This is true

  • sfb101

    #1 Yep, but with bacon!
    #5 Words to follow.
    #17 Very interesting…

    • SarahC

      What the hell kind of fettucine alfredo are you eating that has bacon in it? I love me some bacon, but you crazy.

      • Mr Italian Stallion

        Maybe he just likes bacon in his Fettuccine Alfredo. So, chill the fuck out and KCCO.

        Or he could be referencing Fettuccine Carbonara, which does have bacon in it.

        And -2 for spelling. It's "fettuccine". Italian for "little ribbons".

  • PleaseGodDammit

    #9 mind blown

    • Braj

      Penis blown > Mind blown

    • http://prestigechirovirginia.com Sweet_Lew

      All these years … never made that connection.

  • DDD

    #10 Rule Thomas Edison lived by…

    • Child Please

      Edison was a hack.

      Tesla forever!

      • OverYourHead

        That was the point

    • Hiro

      In Truman's case, not many people would want to take credit for nuking a nation…. twice

      • BenDerDunDatGotHat

        I don't think he cared if he got credit for that or not… He just got it dun!

    • thatguy

      Then why is this quote even being attributed to Truman?

      • Epitomizer

        Ironically, I think this is actually a Ronald Reagan quote…

  • Julio_Fungoolio

    #20 amen to that "God and Country" to all my vet brothers and sisters

    • dirtysteve99

      God and country != everyone else.

      • BenDerDunDatGotHat

        Not always.

  • doodie

    doodie doodie doodie

  • http://twitter.com/LosSaysSwag @LosSaysSwag

    lol Love the Circle of Life point

  • DEL

    #19 I must have been one DAMN Virtuous person!

  • Canucks_Rule

    #1 – oh mitch hedberg, how i miss ur hilarity. still the king of the one-liners. rip bud.

    • Guest

      Love him…still try to catch him on comedy radio when I can! RIP Mitch!

      • Canucks_Rule

        i was so choked when i found out he died.

    • TrueCapeBreton

      "I laid in my twin sized bed and wondered where my brother was".

      • Canucks_Rule

        haha, love it!! "rice is great when u're hungry and want 3,000 of something."

  • FACT

    #28 READ and LEARN liberals

    • http://twitter.com/LosSaysSwag @LosSaysSwag

      What does this have to do with liberal politics?

      • Extreme Moderate

        #28 I think FACT's saying that liberals are sometimes viewed as playing the victimhood card to the point of victimizing others.

    • Child Please

      Haha how ironic

    • Janus

      lets keep politics off the chive, shit gets complicated and often nasty when you don't.

    • RCJH

      Actually, he's Palestinian which means it's very likely that he's referencing the creation of the state of Israel and the Zionists turning around to mistreat Palestinians in what was once their homeland. I suggest you read a little more.

      • James

        Agreed. I think you would be hard pressed to find a conservative in the United States who likes Said

  • clevelandbusdriver

    #31 haha fuk you i dont want to change i never did… u fukin manipulative fukin narcissitc fuk faces oh yor guna hell naw…yor guna hell naw

    • Child Please

      Whoa

    • anditisLiz

      o_O You mad bro?

    • Grammar Police

      I can hardly even read what you wrote. Your first change should be to learn English.

      • LudditeGrammarPoPo

        Luddite Grammar Po Po agrees.

        Though it was kind of funny…

    • Broskinator

      And you sir, are an idiot.

      And a Cleveland bus driver..

      I dunno which is worse?

    • smith smith

      Anyone else think anditisLiz is hot?

      • anditisLiz

        🙂

  • Seldi84

    #8 #30
    Hahaha

  • lBLACKlHAWK

    I read #12 on the toilet

  • Dan

    #22 How profound!

    • Craig

      Oh, the courage it must take to take care of your own child! No wonder this country is going to shit. I bet if the minimum wage was raised, this wouldn't be a problem at all.

    • savagecabbage

      Haha, this site is so anti Obama

    • LudditeGrammarPoPo

      #22 Plus, they spelled "conceive" wrong… negative to infinity internet points!

      • Dr. Gonzo

        No Shit! Didnt we allsee "Boys in the Hood"?

        • EBITDA

          I thought the same thing. Mr. Furious Styles. "Any fool with a dick can a make a baby, but only a real man can raise his children…"

    • MonkeyMadness

      That's funny, because he's not the one that said this.

    • Silverstone

      Profound???? How the hell many days of Biology 101 did you AND President Dipwad sleep through? The ability to conceive makes you a WOMAN!!!

  • clevelandbusdriver

    did mac go thru this turmoil? did he fuk… did john get victimized? huh dont think so…. what about big boy alec? niqqa so big u darnet even say make me a coffee bitch niqqa….oh and last but not least shiity thread boi david wtf david and his berry posts wtf all american poster trophy wife david posts wouldent know smut if it hit him in the face…arrhhh im forgetin the pride of the crew leo haha what a fukin flying joker… bob not even once

    • Julio_Fungoolio

      Wow first let me start by saying the wheels on the bus, nevermind FUCK YOU that is all

    • AnItalianChiver

      Somewhere an english teacher is crying

      • MattyDeuce

        That would be me 😦

  • Suckdry's #1 fan

    #22

    Ass Clown of the year award winner

    • JESSE

      *decade. 2nd place to everyone who voted him in not once but twice

      • savagecabbage

        Why is this site so anti Obama. Might not be great but at least he's not a retarded evangelical war mongerer

        • Old Man River

          #22 If only we had a retarded evangelical war-monger in office…
          We'd be in better shape than we are now as a country:
          – Retarded Uncle Joe would be better than the Arrogant One
          – Evangelical is better than atheist/communist any day.
          – War-mongers at least get the economy going…

          • Mikey D

            I'll preface this by saying I'm Canadian, not American, so I don't really have a dog in this fight.
            1. You only make yourself look foolish calling this man a communist or an atheist. Just because he's not the guy from the party you agree with does not give you the right to call his beliefs into question.
            2. You do realize that your economy is where it is because of your previous "retarded uncle Joe warmonger", right? You really believe that more of the same would magically change things?

            • Old Man River

              You should have stopped when you said you're Canadian. It explains a lot…
              – I have the right to call anyone's beliefs into question. That's why I'm American and not Canadian, or in other terms, a Patriot and not a Royalist. Looking foolish in your eyes is compliment.
              – Our economy is where it is because the neocon W and the Dims found common ground and ripped off tax-payers by giving government-backed housing loans to people that shouldn't have had them, resulting in profits for W's corporate banking buddies and votes for the Dims' by their special interest groups…
              – I suggest you read Zero's book, Dreams of My Father, (or observe any of his actions while in office) to discover that he is anti-Christian and anti-US, which pretty much makes him an atheist and communist by extension.
              – Who said I want more of the same? See above for reference.
              – "Uncle Joe" refers to Joe Biden, the Dim VP.
              – Did you know Canada used to be spelled with three letters, C, eh? N, eh? D, eh?
              KCCO, bro.

              • Mikey D

                For someone offering a "Keep Calm", you sure do seem to have a lot of hate for just about everyone.

                • Old Man River

                  Not everyone. Just you, especially with your casual insults, assumptions and insinuations. Maybe you should point them at yourself instead of at others.

      • CapitanLOCO

        And the losers continue with their name-calling.. get over it

        • thedude325

          Good point. We'll just "get over it" and let him trample on our Constitutional rights and kill our economy!

      • http://twitter.com/LosSaysSwag @LosSaysSwag

        You voted for Dubya. Shh.

    • Fry

      #21

      • Squadoosh

        I'm going with the latter.

  • thekavster

    #1 RIP Mitch Hedberg :(. miss that guy and his sense of humor

  • fuhrer D

    #31

    Painting that on the wall in my office.

    • SOSteppenwolf

      #31 Yeah, unless your kids are REALLY stubborn

  • Bion

    #22 what kind of fucked up message is that? Since when has it become courageous to stick around and raise your kid

    • http://twitter.com/LosSaysSwag @LosSaysSwag

      When young fathers started running out once they heard the words "I'm pregnant" because it would be a burden on their lifestyle.

    • adam

      it isnt courageous, it should be normal. but now our society is so messed up that we have to recognize normal life activities as something huge and almost impossible. You are not a coward if you leave your child, you're just a low life loser………………….

      • http://twitter.com/LosSaysSwag @LosSaysSwag

        Such is life in the era of 16 and Pregnant.

    • EZEE

      Ahh take care of mah kids!

      • Old Man River

        Easy there, Ezee!

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001186623320 Wade Wilson

      It's bad when you have to start praising people for doing things they should be.

  • adam

    #10 Spoken like a true liberal, lets redistribute some wealth while we're at it. Why the hell would anyone put their absolute best into something (which is what we should all do) if there is no recognition. Its just like socialism, why would i work as hard as I can? When the guy sitting on his ass gets the same stuff I do?

    • dirtysteve99

      Not what he said at all. It's a lesson in humility and teamwork, something internet warriors like you sorely need.

    • HUH?

      its called character.

    • TheBetterMan

      I hope what is meant is that when you do a good deed, you don't need to shout it from the rooftops, you don't need to tell anyone. However there is place for inspiration of further good deeds by others.

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