The note reads:
“This room has been cleaned for the holidays and is officially CLOSED until Thanksgiving.
Special permission will be considered for you to sit on my clean furniture and / or walk on my clean carpet only after the following conditions have been met:
1) you have showered and are dirt and odor free from top to toe
2) you are wearing freshly laundered clothing
*If permission is granted — NO food or drinks are permitted at this time!
You may choose one of my many titles:
~ Payer of the bills
~ Queen of the castle
~ Person ruining your life
~ Bossy bitch in charge
Whatever works for you :)”