Lots of people simply cannot function without a hearty dose of caffeine. My mornings are absolute dog shit until I take that first sip of coffee. And if you don’t drink caffeine in the morning, I’m going to assume you do an ass-load of cocaine because that’s impossible. Caffeine is a magical drug vitamin that turns frowns into smiles, daunting tasks into achievable obstacles, and “fuck yous” into “good mornings.” Just look at these photos taken from an actual scientific study:
Female (24) BEFORE grande iced sugar-free vanilla latte with soy milk and caramel drizzle.
Same female AFTER grande iced sugar-free vanilla latte with soy milk and caramel drizzle.
We can all agree that caffeine is a God-send, but not all caffeinated beverages are made equal. See how your preferred source of pep stacks up to the competition.
COFFEE
McDonald’s 12 oz. drip coffee: 109 mg
Dunkin’ Donuts 10 oz. drip coffee: 215 mg
Starbucks 12 oz. drip coffee: 260 mg
LATTES
McDonald’s 12 oz. latte: 71 mg
Dunkin’ Donuts 10 oz. latte: 75 mg
Starbucks 12 oz. drip latte: 75 mg
ENERGY DRINKS
Regular Red Bull (8.4 oz.): 80 mg
Monster (16 oz.): 160 mg
5-hour Energy (2 0z.): 200 mg
SODA
Regular Coca-Cola (12 oz.): 35 mg
Diet Coke (12 oz.): 47 mg
Mountain Dew (12 oz.): 54 mg
TEA
Lipton Lemon Iced Tea (20 oz.): 35 mg
Arizona Lemon Iced Tea (20 oz.): 38 mg
Lipton Pure Leaf Iced Tea (18.5 oz.): 60 mg
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The Mayo Clinic (a nonprofit organization that conducts medical research and does not help sick Mayonnaise) says an average, healthy human can safely consume 400 mg of caffeine a day — so it only takes two tall cups of Starbucks coffee to put you over the limit.
BONUS JOKE. What do an SJW and a coffee addict have in common? They are both LITERALLY SHAKING RIGHT NOW.
h/t Business Insider