“This harlot-sized ensemble will make you the envy of your trampish posse on your fraudulent wedding day.
As an added bonus, this dress gives you the “entitlement” to legally obtain half of your husband-to-be’s worldly possessions.
This dress is guaranteed to provide you with approximately two years of reasonable wedded mediocrity before the complete and utter disintegration of your relationship due to your extramarital promiscuity.
Cosmetically, the garment is in much better condition than the marriage – not looking for much. Make an offer.”