“Hired a new developer. His first day on the job, he arrives early, but drunk. Like, stumbling drunk. We’re a small company (less than 70), so he’s sent home to sleep it off, take a mulligan, try again tomorrow. No telling what demons he’s been dealing with during his unemployed stint, and frankly, doesn’t matter.
“Day two, arrives, s—- in the dumpster because no one had arrived to open the office for the day, is again, drunk. Sorry, pal — we didn’t drug test, we have lots of leeway to cater to your lifestyle, and we have a need for your niche skillset … but we’re gonna look for someone else to fill this position since you’re just awful at adulting.”