“I got a little too drunk on my wedding night. Who am I kidding, I was wasted. Everyone kept buying me drinks so I kept on drinking.
So my wife and I finally get into bed, and we both agree it’s not going to happen. So off to sleep I go.
Well, my flesh wasn’t willing, but the spirit sure was. You see, I suffer from a condition called Sexsomnia. Some people sleep walk, some people sleep talk, I sleep fuck. I tend to fondle my wife in my sleep. The poor thing has gotten used to it, usually giving me a pinch to stop me.
Well, that night she didn’t realise my condition was acting up. She thought I had sobered up and wanted to consummate the marriage. So it happens and away we go.
And I woke up halfway through.
I was so confused! And seeing my reaction, my wife figured out what had happened. We had a laugh about it, and since we had started we decided to finish it.”