As a man who prides himself on always being able to clean his whole plate every meal — call it my midwestern upbringing — I can empathize with anybody facing the soul-crushing disappointment of having to surrender and take their leftovers home. No red-blooded American should have to face this existential crisis. So when one man decided he was going to down an entire deep dish pizza from a famous Chicago establishment by himself, I can understand his commitment to seeing his goal through. That’s just great ambition. I’ll let the gentleman take it away from here.