For the rest of my entire life, I’ll remember the name of a bottle of wine. Château Lafite Rothschild Pauillac, Red Bordeaux Blend, 1996. I won’t remember the name because I was lucky enough to taste it, or because I was given a bottle for some special occasion. No. I’ll remember the name because that bottle of wine got me into the most trouble I’ve ever been in – ever.
During Christmas break my freshman year of college, I invited a few people over to my dad’s house while he was out of town. We ended up consuming our entire stash of alcohol, and in an attempt to be the hero of the party, I ran into his wine room and grabbed several bottles. Two of the three were fine. The third? The Château Lafite Rothschild Pauillac, ’96 – a bottle worth (then) over a thousand dollars. Long story short, Dad found out. I’ll spare you the details of my punishment, but I might as well have been deported to a third world country.
Irresponsibly ruining a fine bottle of wine is pretty awful, but there isn’t a fuckin’ word in the English language that can describe what these two Dallas, Texas teens did to one of their father’s Aston Martin. While he was out of town, one of the teens (presumably named Ferris) convinced the other one to take daddy’s AM around the corner. It didn’t end well.