This past summer Heather Kohler lost something very near and dear to her heart – her Kitchen Aid mixer. Instead of wishing for 2017 to bring wealth, happiness, good health or for Nancy Grace to retire, she wished to be reunited with her beloved kitchen appliance (named Sir Mix-A-Lot, probably.)
But the universe is a cold, cruel place, and Heather’s hopes of being able to make mashed potatoes have been crushed by an evil mastermind who has stolen her mixer and uploads photos of it to social media. I wouldn’t be the least bit fuckin’ surprised if this ends Taken style. No one messes with me-maws mixer. No one.