A group of parents and their younglings gather in the children’s section of Barnes & Noble, eagerly awaiting the presentation. A deep, powerful voice bellows over the intercom:
“Ladies and gentlemen… I am here to present a man who is hungrier than any caterpillar… wilder than any wild thing… with peaches more giant than James’s… please, make some noise for the new heavyweight children’s author champion… JOOOOOHHNNNN CEEEENAAAAAA!!”
BUM BA-DUM BUUUUMMM
Smoke machines blast as Cena crashes through a book shelf, the children squealing with joy. Cena holds up a copy of Goodnight Moon, then tears it in half. “Goodnight moon… forever.”
That’s right, a new competitor has entered the children’s book arena: WWE-star-turned-actor John Cena.