I’m not going to say I’ve had hostile relationships with landlords past or present, but it’s never been perfect (I’ve gone over six weeks without a functioning dryer, what the fuck my dude). On the flip side, I’ve never been a landlord myself, so I can’t imagine what it’s like dealing with truly fucked up tenants, and the internet has summoned these landlords to tell their strangest stories.
(Note: I tried my best to keep the dildo stories to a minimum, but it turns out landlords have a LOT of them. So, let’s start there.)
After evicting a tenant, I found multiple dildos in a birdcage in the garage. I’m guessing it was art or something.
Slappy_J
rented an apartment for a 6 month lease. tenant paid all 6 months in advance as well as a deposit. never made a sound and never really saw him. One day the upstairs neighbor said he heard someone leaving in the middle of the night.
We went expecting the worst. Apartment was immaculate. Looked like no one ever lived there apart from some food in the fridge. Cleaned it out and went to the dumpster out back where we found parts of a hydroponics set up. Plastic sheeting, tubes, empty nutrient jugs. Guess they would rent a spot, grow and leave after a harvest or 2. Genius and not mad really.
Took the PVC pipes bout 8in diameter with 4 inch holes every few inches, put dirt in it, and turned it into a hanging outdoor planter for flowers.
sparepartz
Poop sticks.
We did AirBnB for a while (>2 years) and had a variety of people come and go. One person did not listen to us when we said you need to hold down the handle when flushing a #2, just because our plumbing was old. A diet consisting largely of milk, butter, and bread resulted in lots of clogs. This person thought plungers were dirty, though. So they would go to the yard, get a large twig, and break up the clog with that then re-flush. The stick would then go into the trash.
When they (finally) left our place, we found a bunch of sticks in their closet for just that reason, waiting to be used.
frostfall010
Several years ago I rented to a Chinese family that had moved to town and opened a restaurant. One day they told me that the bath tub was clogged. I hired a plumber and went over there. While snaking the tub or whatever it is that a plumber does, it was full of chicken feathers and bones. They had been slaughtering chickens in the bathtub, presumably for the restaurant.
drmzbig
Not technically my property, but my dad’s and because he lives abroad I help out with tenants. These people moved in and put up glow in the dark dinosaur wallpaper in every room, including the living room, kitchen en bathrooms. It is a six bedroom family home. It may not be nsfw or gross or anything, but it was…weird.
misskittenmittenss
A large boa constrictor that the renters had hidden in a closet because we had a no pets policy.
cyrus_hunter
Woman had nailed shut all of her windows. Right into the window frame. Even the 2nd floor ones. Yes the windows had locks.
Raezutia
We had a family that thought urinating in the heat vents was acceptable.
survivalguyledeuce
When a guy moved out of my parent’s rental property, they found out he had a beach party before leaving. There was a wrecked boat in the backyard and the lawn and carpet were completely covered in sand.
Another lady got evicted and she left a trash big of dildos under her bed.
YeOldeHotDog
We kicked a dude out because he was honestly just kinda weird. He packed up his things and left. We went into his room to clean up a bit and found multiple piles of dead ants, dirt everywhere, and eight bottles of piss.
He lived with us for a month.
Dupragon
I was a regional manager for Govt Housing in the 90s. I was touring a property we were about to buy and rehabilitate. While walking around this large property that was 30% occupied, we walked past a unit that had gallons of blood flowing out the front door. Upon further investigation we found the Vietnamese family that lived there had rustled a 500 lb calf and where in the process of butchering it in their living room.
trazoc
Our first tenants ever were this old man and his mother. Super nice guy who said he just takes care of mom and just low key people. Sounded perfect! First odd request we got was like a week before they were to move in they asked if it would be okay to store some of their potted plants on the front patio, we obliged. Next day we go by the house and there is literally 20-30 potted plants there, just figured it was odd and thought nothing else about it.
About a week into their lease we get a call from the landscapers saying the police had just run them off the property and something was going down. We get over to the rental and this 90 year old lady is very upset and says the police took her son and she doesn’t know why. We help her get into contact with family to come over from another state to help this woman.
Well, after speaking with detectives we find out the truth. They’ve been going to every single Home Depot, Frys Marketplace, etc. and stealing tons of items. All those potted plants were just taken from the front of Home Depots and Frys! Ended up being this whole theft ring and they’d stolen like $130k worth of goods and had it in our rental and storage facilities!
dubbedout
Brother and sister rented my house. The brother called me to check on the furnace. I hadn’t been in the house since they rented it. One bedroom and one bed.
lovemeinthemoment
My dad had an apartment in a rough part of the city and we get a call one day to find out his apartment had a fire and the whole building burned down. Turns out our apartment was a meth lab.
uhmduh
There was a crawl space in an apartment I owned. I rarely go down there, but one time I decided to go down there and I found a bunch of mummified animals. Like rabbits and cats and even a porcupine. I assume the person who did it somehow dehydrated their flesh then wrapped it in white cloth. I asked my tennants if they knew about it and they all denied any knowledge.
johnny_tremain
h/t Reddit
