I’ve only had one bad blowjob. And I wouldn’t even call it bad. It was bad in the same way as a pizza from Little Cesar’s is bad — it was still pretty fucking good. That being said, I’m not a lot to handle. Maybe guys who are hung like bears are getting scraped up by every other girl who agrees to go down there. But for me, describing a bad blowjob is a relatively foreign concept.
These guys, however, have definitely received at least one truly bad blowjob. And hearing them describe it is hilarious. Informative, even (if you’re the person who’s usually on the other end). Of course, a good blowjob is subjective. One guy in this Q&A describes lots of licking with eye contact as a dull experience, but I think that sounds heavenly. Point is, if you’re reading this for advice, take everything with a grain of salt and remember: there is no better way to learn how to give your partner good head than by straight up asking them what they like.
All right, let’s get down to it.