We all had rules growing up and some of us even dealt with overbearing parents. This right here is next level bat-shittery though. For the sake of this story, we’ll refer to the mom as Karen–for obvious reasons. Karen is the proud helicopter mom of a bouncing baby boy who definitely doesn’t suckle the tit anymore. When her son invited some friends to stay over, she kicked her propellers into high-gear and wrote up a set of sleepover rules the prison warden from Shawshank Redemption would cringe at. I guess she means well, but shit lady, you gotta sever the umbilical cord one of these days.