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Dear Chive, I always wanted to pop out of a birthday cake in lingerie and sing happy birthday to a nice boy in the audience. Sit him in a chair , spotlight him, and I’ll go all-out. Most importantly, make sure it’s not this poor kid’s birthday. He’ll spend the rest of the night being congratulated and wondering WTF just happened. I’m sure the video of his bewildered face will be priceless.
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