I want to pat this virgin on the back. No seriously, this is awesome. (15 photos)

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  • blue_bronco

    He should put that much work into touching a vag

    • shitfaced

      Thumbs up, c'mon that is funny.

    • thedude325

      Yes, because that's much more important than following your passions and utilizing your God given intellect.

    • Jawbone

      Bronco is fully aware of what a cunt looks like. His house has mirrors.

  • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

    (Paulas sing along: "First" by Timi Yuro)

    Iiiiii'm…
    soooooo…
    FIIIIRST… to think that you, you lie to me
    I'm FIIIIRST, way down deep inside of me
    You said your love was true
    And we never ever, ever part
    Meow you want someone new
    And it breaks my heart

    I'm so FIIIIRST
    Much more than you ever know
    Yes darling, I'm so FIIIIRST
    Because I still love you so
    But, but even though you hate me
    Like nobody else would ever do
    I would never ever part, FUUUUUCCK you…

    Hugs,
    Paula
    – Fan testimonial: "well it is ONLY the best site in the whole world. It has all you need and Paula too 😉 – insanely great"

    • Needlegun13

      I can't believe you took time to actually write all that crap out…

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        I KNOW! The things Paula does for her minions, RIGHT!??

        Hugs,
        Paula
        – Fan testimonial: "well it is ONLY the best site in the whole world. It has all you need and Paula too – insanely great"

        • Needlegun13

          Well, you got me there…

          • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

            I've got the wierdest boner right meow…

            Hugs,
            Paula
            – Fan testimonial: "well it is ONLY the best site in the whole world. It has all you need and Paula too – insanely great"

            • Needlegun13

              Your boner has cat fur?? Madness!!

        • whos.mike

          Go back to your cave

          • I'm Mike

            Fuck you.

        • https://www.facebook.com/GhoStedar Joel GhoStedar Pankratz

          When the world is full if trolls who want to actually hurt people, Paula is a refreshing break from the status quo; she is simply goofy rather than malicious. I applaud you!

          To: the rest of you who hate on her; keep it up because she loves it.

          • ChodeLauncher

            Who's Paula?

        • PaulaisAcunt

          Bitch fuck you and your stupid cunt shit

      • sploodge

        copy and paste bruv… copy and paste

        • Guest

          well someone had to write it.. it didnt write itself.. and taking the time to look for this to copy and paste would just be as bad…

      • BabyFarts Magizax

        probably copy and pastes it all… has it ready 5 hours prior to posting..

        • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

          Yes of course I had that ready asshat! Ready for the right occasion, as in: when I'm FIRST… Is that really so hard to figure out meow? I usually improvise though.
          You carry a condom, right? And are still waiting for the right occasion…?

          Hugs,
          Paula
          – don't forget to replace your condom; your current one is one year over its 'use before' date… again…

    • Dick Salad

      Best firsties yet! I applaud!

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        Why, thank you Dick, head
        up to me for your free drink meow?

        Hugs,
        Paula
        – Fan testimonial: "well it is ONLY the best site in the whole world. It has all you need and Paula too – insanely great"

        • Guest

          i want to find you, and fuck you up soo bad you will be breathing from a tube the rest of your days… and im not a very violent person.

          • Needlegun13

            Whoooaaa!!!! Overkill there bro!! A simple "Blow me," would have been enough!!

          • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

            Was I married to you once?

            Hugs,
            Paula
            – the one you love to hate

        • http://twitter.com/icallLTLspoon @icallLTLspoon

          Paula sucks

          • :-)

            back to the kitchen paula

    • Jezdezpez

      What a waste of life.

    • xxwhodatxx

      Disturbing.

    • windowlicker

      Hahaha!! Fucking brilliant!!

    • craaaaazy

      I've met alot of girls like you, they are very lonley sad little people, that turn to the Internet to feel better by writing shite, they all need help, and men stay as far away as possible, like she crazy bitch far away as possible, please get help you wierdo

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap….

        Fap Fap….
        MmmmmeeEeeeEEeooOoOoOOOOOoowoWWWowowowowowwwW!!!!!!!1!!1!

        Hugs,
        Paula
        – Fap!

    • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

      Current score: -533; 309 thumbs up, 843 thumbs down… Thank you for pushing me from -110 to -112 in just 3 hours my beloved minions… I ❤ you.

      Hugs,
      Paula
      – I FUCKING LOVE THE CHIVE!!1!
      (and my darling minions)

      • mcfadinj

        Negative attention seeking whore. Talk about having some fucked up mind issues.

        • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

          -113 already…. I love you too mcfab, nothing can spoil my day meow… ❤

          Hugs,
          Paula
          – Fan testimonial: "well it is ONLY the best site in the whole world. It has all you need and Paula too – insanely great"

          • Kenton

            i want to violently dismember your baby-making-station so that the world is forever saved from you spawning another mutant with an IQ of 27.

            • Kenton(again)

              The thing you wrote was so dumb. Was it a song? Perhaps a poem? Geez, the things girls do once they get purple waffle downstairs. Sorry for your vagina.

    • jday1

      oh paula you stink up the place so bad! 😛

    • I hate you paula

      This bitch is good. You unoriginal bastards couldn't have come up with something clever like this. Fuck.

      • Alpha0010

        Why only the one fan testimonial?

        • Bob

          Wow, I've never seen so many down votes on one comment before.

    • Vent187

      Paula are you like 400 lbs and covered in acne?

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        Almost correct; I'm covered with 400 lbs of acne.

        Hugs,
        Paula
        – you should see me covered in chocolate, mmmmm….

    • http://www.facebook.com/scottbartlett Scøtt Bartlett

      Ahahahaha! Okay, I, like everyone, hate Paula .. However .. She gets the win for trolling you all, and for how mad you all get .. Hahah! Oh, goodness, if she only wasn't a lonely chubby boy, she'd be awesome .. *8)

      • http://www.facebook.com/scottbartlett Scøtt Bartlett

        You all know she trolls the chive .. all the time .. over and over, right ..? Like she's a troll — she's attempting to get a rise out of everyone .. by TROLLING .. And she winned you all on this one ..

        • http://www.facebook.com/scottbartlett Scøtt Bartlett

          Pnwed, sorry, not winned ..

    • BlakeW

      you know when you just feel sad for attention whoring people…and i'm not talking about the guy this gallery is about….

  • anony

    what had happened was

  • voltviking

    Its cool but he'll never see a vagina

    • TheUChiver

      He doesn't need to, he'll build his own!

    • ex:Bill Gates

      with a mind like that and the thought of building a career out of this(money)…i think he'll find a vagina somewhere down the line.

      • qwert

        with money, vagina will find him

    • Cinurwe

      Because taking something every non-virgin has played and loved, and making something great out of it using his own god damn genius automatically grants him virgin status. That makes sense.

    • kovit

      If he can pull that shit off, he's pretty smart… If he's smart, he'll have plenty of money… Ladies tend to be attracted to money… ladies have vaginas… QED…

      • ggg

        "QED"? dr jong???

    • Hummus

      I'd show him mine just to play with that.

    • debacle

      spoken like someone who truly never has.

    • b_mckillop

      who needs vagina when u got a slice of 64 bit heaven

    • https://www.facebook.com/gregisgreg Greg Lee

      i dont understand how being smart enough to figure that out makes you prone to virginity. what you are saying is equivalent to saying "only idiots get laid". dumb ass.

  • Blevin

    I want one! How much?

    • Baxpin

      In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.

      • OBV

        Or you just have incredible game and get the women without any of that

      • Derrick

        First you have to get the khakis then you get the women

        • Internet Police

          come on all you have to do is make a single and we will never make fun of you again

    • DoomsDayDub

      Here is my random comment in hopes of being updated if someone posts a link of where to buy this. Good day.

    • Allenavw

      You can get one of these, but it only does SNES games, from Thinkgeek.com. It's $90 and I'm buying as soon as my next payday comes around. My mind was blown when I found it.
      http://www.thinkgeek.com/electronics/retro-gaming

      • https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=660232039 Natasha Ulela-Lynn Gunkel

        Well, so much for that idea, thanks to yourpost, it is now sold the fuck out

        • Allenavw

          Shit, really!? Damn I did not even think of that… way to shoot myself in the foot lol.

    • Da Bulls

      http://acidcow.com/pics/22325-amazing-transformat

      ^^If you can figure that one out & have all the parts….

  • yo check it

    virgin because……??

    • nanope

      …of stereotypical ignorance.

      • comrade7apaches

        I second that. Smart people get putanny as well peoples

        • http://matter.com Fkn Nick, Duh

          Not only that, but once you hit you're twenties it's an advantage.

    • KO617

      Are you new to this site? Must be.

    • crrsureal

      because he is smarter than the person who spends all his time on the interenet finding obscure things to make fun of

      the irony is strong with this one

    • Fuzz

      Being creative/inventive makes you a virgin. That's how we know Leo's gotten it in.

    • dun dun

      ignore Leo, he's the fag brother of the Chive group.

      • Lil John

        Dudes… wiring is not hard. See how they are all color coded?

        • herp

          OKAY!!!! YEAAHHHH!!!

    • voltviking

      Because when all I did was smoke weed and play 007 I sure as hell diddnt see a whole lot of pussy.

    • who cares

      Because sex makes us stupid and lazy and only motivated to find more sex.

  • http://www.facebook.com/bluejooz Cree Whittingham

    That's pretty slick!

  • http://www.facebook.com/ChristophRead76 Read J. Christopher

    Brilliant. And they say our world is going to hell. HAH!

  • https://www.facebook.com/TheMightyMing John Chambers

    Awesome!

  • Dibdy

    AAwesome!!!! For a virgin!!

  • The Dude.

    SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!!!

    • Jay

      How do we buy this device?? I'll pay more money for that now than I ever did for my original 64

  • Winston

    But surely you would still have to plug it in to a socket?

    • Ricky Ross

      #11 Lithium batteries are in this picture

      • crrsureal

        not denying that it may work, but i find it hard to believe that the lcd and n64 are powered by those 2 batteries

      • Sum Ting

        Don't think those are batteries, but are the rumble motors.

        • Nick

          yep…. motors. FOR SURE not batteries…… sad that i know that. maybe i shouldn't have taken apart my x360 controller…..

      • The_Dood

        Where?

    • http://www.facebook.com/david.s.whaley Seth Whaley

      http://acidcow.com/pics/22325-amazing-transformat… as posted by another user shows all of the pics and there is a battery inside.

  • Ned_Plimpton

    #14 Whoever thought of this should be given the Nobel Prize, chosen to restart NASA & be allowed to deflower Kate Upton.

    • RMJ

      No reason not to. Our current president won one for…….what was…oh yea, having good ideas that were well intended but not very practical.

    • LessLeo

      You think she still has a flower?

      • DaveStinson316

        I was thinking the same thing mate.

        • Ned_Plimpton

          According to the internet (which is never wrong, right?) she is pure.

          • boll

            bahahaha kanye got it wen she was still 17 get real

            • its_forge

              ::snerk:: Because rap artists never boast something that's not actually true. = ) Especially loudmouthed rap artists with substance problems.

        • DaveStinson316

          Late night visit from the Gronk have me suspicious, and anyone stupid enough to hang with Kanye…well, yeah…

    • 'berto

      I think that deflowering most likely happened long ago, but good call on the others!

    • tigerfan

      no no no deflowering belongs to me

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=606371253 Shannon Coverdale

    Take my money!

  • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

    Boy do I rock!


    Hugs,
    Paula
    – the one you love to hate

    • Mike

      cool, wish you lots of orgasms with a cherry on top.

  • Charlie_Cheen

    Giving Ben Heck a run for his money!

    • jimstarswagg

      Not sure if your virgin level is 99 or mine is for knowing who Ben Heck is as well.. hahah! Well played, Sir. KCCO!

    • TheSimonizer

      I'm pretty sure that it IS Ben Heck that did the portable N64..

      • Kyle429

        Yeah, but this one looks totally different than the one he did.

      • Charlie_Cheen

        I've never seen Ben Heck do a vacuum formed case like that, his are usually CNC'd plastic then built up. …also the wiring doesn't look like his style, could be wrong I guess.

        (Yes, I watch his podcast on Rev3; no, not close to a virgin)

  • DanTheMan

    This kid is smart as shit obviously, most likely makes more than most people on the site and could get a whole bunch of pussy, just doesnt cuz hes busy doin this lol

    • LessLeo

      Your comments are too wordy.

  • TommyD

    don't worry about that dude……..he can make all the vagina he'll ever need.

  • NICK CCC

    Absolutely amazing.. did not even know this is possible… now make it online? that is your next test sir

  • Needlegun13

    Impressive. Most impressive…

  • tv_paul

    This guys either MacGyver or MacGruber.

  • Ricky Ross

    Mind is officially blown

  • whosyopapi

    The guy's name is Ben Heck. He mods all kinds of consoles and made an XBOX360 laptop. I envy his abilities…

    • Kyle429

      This is not his portable N64. He did do one, but his looks COMPLETELY different. I think this one looks better, but that's just my opinion.

  • RDChivette

    That looks like the best gift for my bro! Shut up and take my money!

  • Swamp1983

    virgin??? maybe. Future or current electrical engineer or electrician hell yeah.

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