With baseball season in full swing, it’s time to gear up and get in shape for baseball season. Of course, by get in shape I mean start stretching those beer guts, cause it’s a long season and you’re gonna need plenty of hot dog and beer room. This also got me thinking, is there really anything better than pounding beers at the ball park? Could they really be the best bars?
I know what you’re going to say first, the beers cost more than your mortgage. To that I say, do some research! Minor league teams regularly have dollar nights. That’s better than Chilis! I mean, I could stop right now and be completely right, but I know Chivers are a hard sale. So, here are a few more reasons to get your drink on at the ballpark.
Holding your son in one hand and catching a ball in another
It’s important you get that little slugger interested in the game as soon as possible too. The sooner he goes pro the sooner you can turn the tables and make him buy your diapers!
No matter how obnoxiously loud ‘toothless Tony’ gets, you can still hear the game.
Going to your local sports bar for the game definitely has its perks. They know your drink, they know your name and they might even know your address if things tend to get out of hand. You won’t, however, be able to hear the game over the roar of the bar patrons. Cut down the fuss by going to the source.
Built in cut-off
MLB has taken a lot of flak in recent years after some unruly sh*theads attacked coaches, umps and fans, so this isn’t perfect, but it does help you police yourself. The MLB doesn’t allow service in any of its, or its affiliates parks, after the seventh inning. That could realistically give you a couple hours to sober up.
Ballpark food. That’s all.
It’s expensive and it damn sure isn’t good for you, but holy mother of god is it delicious. Each ballpark has their own insane standout, but you can’t go wrong with a good old fashioned ballpark hot dog. Splash on some ketchup, mustard and kraut and amen it’s good to be an American. Don’t forget your seeds!
Because there is no better excuse for “day drinking”.
Tubing and drinking are amazing. In fact, just about any outdoor activity goes pretty dam well with a cold one, but there is nothing better than a daytime game and a giant souvenir cup of beer. You get some sun. You get to people watch. You get to catch a fantastic game. It even makes a great escape from work or school for a day. Ferris Bueller anyone?
Have you ever run Tinder at the ballpark? Get ready to be drowned in… tinder matches.
Not only are you surrounded by potential matches, you already have a built-in ice breaker and topics for conversation. No more cruel, unusual silence. You’re surrounded by 30k people screaming and watching their phones as closely as the game. Can’t think of anything clever to say? Hey, there’s a game going on! Also, a woman who likes baseball is pretty much guaranteed to be a keeper—if that’s what you’re looking for. If not, make sure to follow my one night stand etiquette.
They’re looking out for your health. When was the last time your dive reminded you to get up and stretch?
Has gap-tooth Deborah at your local dive told you to get off your ass and walk around a bit? Probably last time she threw you out, right? Well, MLB cares so much about you, they remind your lazy ass to get up and get the blood pumping. It just so happens this coincides perfectly with last call. Stretch your legs on the way to the concession stand.
Views while drinking
As you can see, this is obviously the best reason of all…
Cheers to the real 3-B’s, Beers, Baseball and Babes!
