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Earlier today, there is supposed to be a Classy John vs. Extra Fancy Dickbutt coin launch for charity. If you don’t know how that matchup came about, here’s the video.
But everybody who signed up for VVIP got early access to the competition and gobbled up the coins in minutes flat. If you can’t tell by the lead image here – I WON! I gave the anamorphic phallus blue balls. Wait, that came out wrong.
But here’s what happened (aside from my total victory) …