Daily Morning Awesomeness (20 Photos)

  • Raunchy The 1st

    toss my salad.

  • Dan

    fuck yeah #8

    • Roscoe

      Sheen is an idiot and a loser. He's not winning.

      • bobsky

        Multi-millionaire, having sex with beautiful women… if that's your idea of an idiot loser then sign me up!

        • Jen

          he's a piece of shit father and a drug addict. and beautiful women? they are crack whore prostitutes. yes, the bastard is pretty fucking funny but he's a piece of shit.

        • Someone

          Add having your kids taken away from you. No sir, he is losing.

        • aosux

          He would have won in the 80's but you should be able to handle your shit now-a-days. Don't get me wrong, women and drugs would be at the top of my to-do list if I had a few million but not at the expense of my family.

          • Zach

            This isn't his real twitter account BTW. It's a fake. Y'all should just browse Reddit and you'd find most of what The Chive posts on a daily basis.

            • Jules

              Or just YOU could just go to Reddit and leave us Chivers in peace 🙂 Kay thanks

            • aosux

              That has NOTHING to do with my comment. If you ever reply to my comment again with such disregard for relevancy I will reach through the interweb and shove your keyboard up your ass.

            • tag

              Except Reddit is a disorganized pile of posts. theChive finds the best and puts it out for us to see. I go to Reddit daily, and yes, see similar things, but lots of crap makes it to the first few pages where as almost all of theChive is pure win

              • hmmm

                Learn to make your own account and choose what stuff hits the front page then.

    • kenz

      I would rather have my kids and family than sex

  • Jake

    #8 charlie sheen is the man

    • COCO

      Not really. I am disgusted by his behavior. I use to look up to him as a role model, but he is nothing to me now.

      • WordBoss

        Charlie Sheen was your role model? That might be your problem right there….

        • mgreen


    • http://www.facebook.com/ByrdtheStampede Jason Byrd Marshall

      I Think you're taking the wrong lesson from Mr. Sheen.

    • EstevezFan

      I personally like his brother's acting better. Lets just go throught he list: The Breakfast Club, Young Guns, Loaded Weapon, Strakeout, etc. Thats just me.

      • EstevezFan


        Sorry for the typo's

        • Jen

          and MIGHT FUCKIN DUCKS! YES!

          • aosux

            Loved it as a kid!

  • MigraineBoy

    #13 OMG! I fucking love this ride!

    • doubleplay

      MigraineBoy, which of the four?

    • Boris

      Chive, find the girl in the blue shirt. Preferably un-DERPed

      • xxxx

        why so many thumbs down? i also thought she might be hot… and there's only one way to find out.
        you have my thumb boris

        • SalsaShark42

          And my axe!

  • sheenizum

    Okay i am new to this but why it the spelled "teh" all the time?

    • ioulian

      because most of the people on teh Internet can't write well 😀

      • sheenizum

        i guess that works.

      • winningest

        because thats how cats talk.

    • NTS

      Its because when you type fast you fuck up "the" and spell it "teh."

    • no please

      because you touch yourself at night.

  • choochootrain


  • mick

    Best. Movie. Ever.

    • ryan

      that's clearly a gif, not a movie good sir.

      • AnyoneForCoffee

        Easily pleased, some people.

        • doubleplay

          totally overrated

    • ProvenZer0

      Part II is much better.

    • AZbtchs

      overrated? Have you been chewing too many dick pills today?

    • rbfn04

      It insists upon itself

      • TitoRigatoni

        "Insists upon itself"??!? what does that even mean??

  • Tmoney

    #9 THANK YOU

    • JMartin

      You've got mail, mail

    • Roscoe

      This happens in my neighborhood all the time. Great solution!

    • McBeastie

      Yo dawg, I heard you like mail….

    • mike


  • Tmoney

    Ugh, wrong number. Fail. Thanks Logitech. #11

  • JPC

    #6 – As opposed to a replica of a fake blue whale's heart?

    • amrith777

      If THIS makes him feel insignificant–then it's a good thing he isn't standing in front of a replica of a blue whale's penis or he could feel inadequate,too.

  • http://www.facebook.com/alluneedislove.1 Anthony Lopez

    #20 zombies/being "zombified" makes everything good great

  • Kitho James

    #17 LMFAO

    • COCO

      What does LMFAO means?

      • GK-4

        Laughing My Fucking Ass Off

      • Poppin Fresh

        it means "Lick My Flabby Armpit Out" don't listen to that other guy.

  • JMartin

    #19 – Controls the universe with his masterful spells; but where in the fuck are the goddamn nectarines?

    • aosux

      Thank you for that one

  • Tay


    • COCO

      i know you can come up with a better line.

      • Jonathen

        Actually, I thought it was pretty good!

        • Tay

          Thanks man!

  • Aytchie

    #8 = still a failure

    • AnyoneForCoffee

      Yeah, but that 'failure' will only materialise in about 15-20 years. The man is packing it all in while his body can take it and the women still want to give it.

      However, if you prefer playing safe all your life just so old age will be a bit more tolerable….then go right ahead.

      • McBeastie

        15 to 20 years? I'm giving him 15 to 20 days in my death pool.

    • Stevo

      you certainly are

    • dean

      yeah, does sheen really think ebert couldn't just pay to have 5 chicks at once like he does?
      anyone with a few grand could do that.

  • Mmm_Ciao

    #7 Little boy can't help but look. BOOBIES!
    #13 Looks like she's having a blast.

    • Mmm_tits

      I like your tits.

  • Ulisses

    Caption: Mustache Ride!!!

    • Poppin Fresh

      Mustache roller coaster is more like it… am i right?!?… huh?
      #still #winning

      • BloodScrubber

        More like nipple warmers. .

  • tha drizzle

    #7 never too early for bewbs,, yay!!!

    • Tean_Zu

      Something's wrong with that kid. Seeing those boobs put a smile on my face.

    • oh4fuckssake

      Why is that kid glaring at her tits?

  • davey

    Said.. like a boss!

    • -tj-

      you are not chris smoove!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Holly-Sands/1666982036 Holly Sands

    #19 – I swear thats the Wizard Man of Sutton (UK) or at least his long lost brother

  • Seven

    Charlie Sheen is quickly becoming my new hero #8

  • pjsupremex

    #2 three girls, one baby, one cup!

    • xxxx

      i'll give them bitches poop

      bitches love poop

    • oh4fuckssake

      thats fucked up…… +1

  • tha truth

    #16 actually made me laugh out loud… and wake up my wife. Thanks

  • JFrost

    "Like a boss"
    "Winning! Duh!"

  • metalcool36

    #15 and #20…. Enough said

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