A few captions we can all get behind (30 Photos)

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  • Tiber_Septim

    #7 Rick Moranis and the most noble cause there is. I salute him

    • Joel

      Very sorry for his lost but slightly relieved. I thought they might have shrunk him on accident, lost him, and ever since he has been riding around on ants trying to get our attention.

    • clay

      Dear Chive,
      Chivery idea, we need a Rick F'n Moranis T; proceeds to cancer research or Chive Charities general funds.

      • Emmylou

        I second that and think quite a few Chivers would too.

      • Jessica

        Fantastic idea!

      • Loowho

        you are what is great about this site, yo.

    • ScottishScott89

      A great Canadian! and a great comedian!

    • Derby

      Forget your cartoons…this is a real man.

      • Jack Wagon

        Clay, brilliant idea, however should they take this idea and make it happen (as they should) they will only produce 7-8 shirts every 6-10 months.

  • Xsoldier2000

    #30 Awesomeness!

    • Livin' Legend

      It's the law: if you're playing a comic book villain, any child dressed as a comic book hero has the right to knock you out, and you have to take it. It's the right and natural order of things.

      • Big Poppa

        Tom's a good guy. on most sets you're not allowed to chat to the stars. Tom eats lunch with the little guys.

        • impressed

          yeah saw another pic of him in costume but laughing and carrying a kid on his shoulders. great movie villain, but great guy IRL.

  • Wilmah

    #10 News to me. Where the fuck is my glow in the dark dinosaur coins

  • navydudenamedjoe

    #7 I had no idea… but good on him

    • Huell

      This is partially inaccurate. He actually acted for another 6 years after his wife died, wasn't getting many offers and never fully retired. He does voices for animated films/shows often. Look it up before you thumb me down.

      I still like him regardless, but there's more to the story than this caption.

      • DannoTheManno88

        He was getting offers but he turned down MANY opportunities and roles if they conflicted with his home life and his ability to raise his kids proper. I salute this man.

      • Chicago

        He actually couldn't travel for the roles AND take care of his kids, so he chose his kids over acting.

        You should maybe try other sources of information besides wikipedia…

    • http://echogeo.wordpress.com/ echogeo

      This reminds me a little bit of Martin Short. He lost his wife to cancer as well. More than a year afterwards, while being interviewed by that douche bag, Kathy Lee Gifford, she asked him on live television how he maintained such a solid, loving marriage in today's Hollywood.
      Read the bio before you interview Kathy!

    • Bob Épine

      He must have made a lot of money/invested his paychecks well to be able to be a full-time father.

  • Rusty Shackleford

    #10 I have never wanted to be Canadian more than right now

    • Jake

      Fuck Pennies

    • tv_paul

      It's cool but I think a better reason is shown right here almost daily on this sight…the awesome Canadian Chivettes

  • peroh21

    #25 is my favorite

    • Yuppp

      Mine too. Pitbull is one of the biggest doichebags on earth. What is that stupid thing he says at the end of every song too? Man he sucks…

      • .............

        "Dale"

  • Rick

    #11 My office actually blocks thechive.com. F*ck those guys.

    • Simon

      It might just block the 50 or so other sites the Chive connects to when it's loading every page. Uh-oh, did I just say that out loud?

      This page just generated 104 errors and 7 warnings on an up to date version of Chrome.

      • Rich

        Try Firefox

        • Simon

          No can do, I'm afraid. Thanks though.

        • Simon

          Chrome still works fine BTW (although I have problems with the comments section a lot), there are just a lot of requests to other sites, and a disproportionate amount of code is being run. Firefox still generates errors, but nowhere near the same amount.

          On a netbook at home it takes about 30 seconds for each page to load. Not exactly a lightning machine, but it's good enough for pretty much the rest of the net.

      • Fortune Teller

        FireFox rules!

    • my5tika1cll

      As an IT guy, my company has rights to hit theChive… BUT all Web Filters already have it in their list of sites to block, so its not your IT guy. I had to explicitly whitelist it… We are not all Network Nazis!!!

      • MebbeBebbe

        My predecessor at my current job (I work in litigation support) had most of the internet blocked except for the one site that he had whitelisted: redtube.com. I shit you not.

  • Anonymous

    #21 should be praised by all of America to the point that other CEOs get in line behind him.

    • tim

      Jim Senegal is no longer CEO I'm afraid. He was awesome though. Answered his own phone. When he went into warehouses, he'd have the same name tag every else wears and people shopping had no idea who he was. I got to meet him once a couple years back. For unskilled labor, Costco pay and benefits can't be beat: cashiers top out just over $20, time and a half every Sunday, and time and a half any time you go over 8 hours.

      That said, don't let his $300k salary fool you. He still made far more than that every year through stock options.

      • jared

        and office was open to all and his desk was a plastic lifetime table. worked for costco for almost 11 years, kinda glad i left when jim and dick retired hope the company doesnt go to shit now

      • schango

        I also met him a couple times when I worked at Costco. He would walk around and shook hands with every employee he would come across. Would buy something and stand in line with everyone else. Great great guy.

    • The_Stif

      This is the fix to the economy. CEOs have played the system and gobbled all the money up into a few pockets. On average for every employee, a CEO makes $450 to their $1. In countries like England, Japan, France and Spain, it is more like $30 to $1. If the people below the top seat made anything near where they should, this country would be fine. But a family needs 3 incomes just to make sure the fridge is stocked. Disgraceful.

      • True Story

        The death of democracy is when the people discover they can vote themselves money.

        • The_Stif

          And that happened just a little before the time, one income would take care of a family of 4 or 5, and now look. Two people with degrees and decent jobs live paycheck to paycheck, so the top can play monopoly with real property. The people that keep the country from dying are the ones treated like cause of the problem. It will take our generation and younger to get together and identify these problems, get out and vote and take office and make it right, so at least maybe our grand kids will have a decent chance.

      • Costbro ceo

        I also think that we can use Mexico instead of china for warehouses, because we have plenty of Mexicans already in the states that I'm sure could do just as well as the Chinese and the goods would be just as cheap as if they had been costly shipped back to us. We could really come together if CEOs of these warehouses made this ratio of money, and who is to say these wouldn't be great starter jobs for grads and the like? If we already ship the jobs from Americans, why not at the least keep the factories here and under pay illegals, least progressive opinion. We can afford this, and to employ many more citizens this way. It has been said by plenty of fortune 500 CEOs for me to be confident this change is actually wanted higher up

        • The_Stif

          Sending jobs to China is the most unpatriotic thing I can think of business wise. Produce the products cheap there, sub contract the shipping to foreign businesses then gouge the American populus that is without those jobs. Fuck all that noise. If CEOs would take a pay cut and say, no normal person needs to make more than even 1 million a year, and pay Americans to make Ipads at a good wage, and not inflate the prices, this would all fix itself. There should be a mega tax on sending jobs overseas. Make it as expensive as producing here. Imagine if 90% of the population held the wealth and could buy new cars, electronics and clothes almost yearly at current prices. But we can't because of the lack of wage growth, so we have to use credit. Its all been set up to benefit the few, and the quicker we wise up, the better it will be for the mass.

          • mises

            Ahhhhh but inflation benefits the wealthy. That's why it exists.
            http://globaleconomicanalysis.blogspot.com/2013/0

            • The_Stif

              RIght. Inflation makes the value of a dollar irrelevant. Like someone said up above. The value of money is debased. Like when Russia had all its problems, and loaves of bread cost briefcases full of money and what not. there is no point in having money with an inflation system in place. Gas is gas it was 20 years ago, but then it was $.99 now its $3.50. but its still the same gas, going into cars getting the same MPG. Why isnt it still $.99 and wages lower. It's all a pointless game. and inflation will be out of control since we passed the minimum wage act. Employers are not going to raise wages and not raise the price of their goods, so now in turn wages will have to rise again to meet inflation, which will in turn raise the price of goods, and it was all a fruitless effort.

          • Reality

            That's what we need all right. Can't wait to go out and buy socks for $20 a pair just becasue some union factory worker thinks they should be paid $25/hr to run a sewing machine. Go through your own house and tell me that everything you own is made in the USA. If it isn't then you are just a hypocrite that is jealous of those people who have succeeded in the capitalistic system that this country was founded on. Free enterprise is not a crime. Everyone is free to choose what to buy and how much to spend. They are also free to earn whatever the market will pay them. What people like you advocate is more in line with Marxist policies. Who are you to tell someone they can't make over 1 million a year?

            • The_Stif

              haha, so you don't think its our duty to take care of our fellow Americans when you can? So people like Richard Branson, Bill Gates, and this CEO are bad people wanting to do what is right. I said who actually needs more than a million. You advocate free enterprise because you think you will be a millionaire some day and you dont want people to stop your greed. Pardon me for being humanitarian and caring about our country. Tell me how it looks in a few more decades when the gap between rich and poor is even more absurd and there is no more middle class. and I think I explained that if companies would not raise prices, and pay a decent wage and lower CEO earning on their own accord we would be better off. The only thing I said the government should do as far as business is tax the unpatriotic for sending jobs to china. I just advocate what is best for us all, and if that is wrong then, I stand by being wrong. If I was in the positon to make that much money, I would hope my employees were comfortable at home with their pay as well. And you aren't free to earn what the market will pay you. That is a ridiculous statement. You are forced to earn what they will pay. You get a flood of people in business degrees, so now middle level managers dont have to be paid jack shit because of the surplus of workers. That isn't the workers fault. he was told to go to school and get a degree and get a job and live the American dream. Well now that dream is what you advocate. Live crunched under credit to get an overpriced car, to drive to a job you hate, that takes all your time. Sorry for the rambling and the hope for a brighter future. With people like reality, we will continue on this path of self-destruction. He is part of the mass and in control. Snowmageddon is pounding our asses and I am going home. Chive on everyone.

              • Lazy Dude

                Too much text, won't read.

                • other lazy dude

                  Lmfao, didn't read either

              • DeepestBlue2

                You actually used Bill Gates as an examplar for a "good"
                CEO? The guy was or is one of the highest paid people on the planet… Not sure how that makes your point for you. Not everyone who makes more than a million a year uses it just to show how big a douche they can be.

                • The_Stif

                  http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/27/health/gates-do
                  Not to mention he has donated more to charity than number eight on the Forbes rich list is worth. When he dies, most all of his worth will be donated he may have made a lot but he cares about humanity and more people than himself. Just Google bill gates donations.

            • yup

              …. use the mexicans not the union workers. and keep it in the states. they're our freaking neighbors. They won't work for pennies even as illegals, but the shipping costs are cut sharply, so your socks will still be cheap. Actually making things in China is just dumb. I made it simple for you since you thought union workers were going to get payed $25 an hour to make socks.

              • Derek

                Manufacturing in China does have the upside of making it easy for them to kill us all slowly by putting lead in every-fucking-thing. But I think what I really want to get back to is a system where corporations print their own money so we have to buy all our goods from them. I mean, the people up top succeeded at making it to the top, so they must know what is best for the country not only how best to rape that country. Let's take the next logical step and take out the middlemen. Let's move the real power holders in this country from the shadows and to the foreground of government where they belong! No more congress! Congress of Conglomerates all the way!

      • mises

        Or if the other people at the top ( govt and the federal reserve) hadn't debased our currency then the money people made would be worth more and go a lot farther. Or if we weren't taxed to death either. Two things schools need to teach almost the most yet they don't-economics and critical thinking.

      • DrGarnicus

        Well said, The_Stif. You an econ major or some such?

        • The_Stif

          Ahh. Not really. Was poli sci 3 years turned IT. I think its when youve had kids and been inside a few companies and just use a little common sense to see what is holding humanity back. I just want this country to move forward and get back on top.

      • clarencewhorley

        I love when people blame CEO's when the government steals FAR more of your money/purchasing power due to taxation/currency manipulation/unfunded liabilities. Worried about your children and grandchildren, be worried that we have over 120Trillion in unfunded liabilities (promises). There are certain easy steps we could make (raising the retirement age, means testing so we tell people worth 10 million+ that they can spend their own money on end of life care and not take SS and Medicare) but these are all off limits.

        If you save money/invest in your 401K you savings are actually going down because the government continues to print money and your purchasing power is lessened.

        Paul Krugman advised the government to print money and grow the economy through the housing boom (look at what he said from 01-04) then we have the housing bust and no one in the media dares to mention it to Krugman. Whatever he writes is printed as gospel by the NYT, HuffPo etc.

        It's why gold is STILL a good investment even though the price is so high.

        • indeed

          Long story short, Paul Krugman looks like a weasel and he preaches like one

        • The_Stif

          I only blame them because they have the power to make a difference. They could be good people and overcone greed on their own and sssy I only need 1 mil to live. The rest goes to my employees and company. I just wish those with the power would do the right this is all I am saying. We stand united and fall separated. Do you feel united with a typical ceo? Just wish wewould strengthen the country togtogether is all. More snow shoveling to be done.

          • come on

            But you SHOULD be blaming the government. They are supposed to represent us and work for US. CEO's of corporations have no such obligation to us, as we have none to them. You're ire is misguided.

            • Anonymous

              Holy hell I accidentally started a debate.

  • Josh

    #10 I want a dinosaur coin, freaking cool. http://www.mint.ca/store/coin/dinosaur-25cent-col

    • Zee705

      It's still $25 for a quarter (that's 25 cents)

  • MattKL

    #9

    • MonkeyMadness

      What do they mean "stays in character"???

      • mike

        He still acted as if he was Santa. Even on the news he gave the interview as Santa and reassured kids during his TV interview

    • wdh

      super fun time

  • Fernando Gee

    #4 I love these !

    • Rich

      May be environmentally friendly but not pocket friendly. $1600.00 on amazon.

      • Trig

        Dont try to dry your cock in it…Blood Blisters!

    • Dinker

      Those are pretty cool, but this is what I don't get – How is using something that requires electricity (i.e. burning fossil fuels, a non-renewable resource) more 'environmentally friendly' than using paper towels (an actual renewable, biodegradable resource)?

    • John H

      In addition to using up electricity, the air blade also jets the tiny s#it particles in the air directly on to your hands…at high speed. Have fun eating after that.

      • I > You

        Do you dry your hands before you wash them then? In reality it is blowing around soap particles because you are supposed to use it post hand washing dumbass.

        • El_Hefe

          he means that the dryer is using air that is inside the bathroom yes you wash your hands first, but the dryer is sucking air in from the bathroom and blowing it on your hands. So all the little shit particles floating around..

          • Herby Sagues

            The air is filtered. Regarding the "environmentally friendly" part, making paper towels requires more energy than this thing does (and typical driers use even more). Now, paper towels are actually trapped CO2 that's going to get buried, so I don't know where the balance lies on this one. Still, everything Dyson does is fabulous.

      • danharmonlives

        you use purrell afterwards

    • Big gloves

      I have pretty big hands. I always end up touching the edges if I go up past my fingers.

      • dude

        I agree, I always end up touching the sides. I like those vortex machines better

  • savagecabbage

    #1 yes but the condoms and ky are usually in security cases that they gotta take off. Fuck you tesco, you do that on purpose.

    • mumbly_joe83

      ASDA don't, atleast the one near me anyway 😀

    • Catherine

      Or puts them behind the tills in Express so you have to ask for it regardless.

      • http://www.facebook.com/Tomsfoolery Tommy Dieterich

        You guys are cray cray. Who locks up condoms? Everyone needs love.

    • http://www.facebook.com/erich.backhus Erich Backhus

      The stores here just have 'em sitting right on the shelf next to K-Y and pregnancy tests.

  • Canucks_Rule

    #4 – anyone who hasn't used one of these, hasn't truly lived.

    #10 – canada, fuck yeah!!

    • BoredGuy

      Fuck the Canucks.

      • danharmonlives

        boredguy's comment became invalid.

  • johnnyyyboy

    #18 Every BMW driver is an asshole so the pic isnt real…

    • savagecabbage

      I drive a BMW and i approve of this comment

  • freddy boy

    #17 I laughed my ass off for a very long time. Good one, Chive.

    • Pikesville

      Not a good one.

      • MCwillsk

        Very good one..

      • Thror

        Awesome. He's just East Coast OJ.

  • slany

    #1 but is announces everything so loudly that everyone in the checkout lines now knows what you are buying rather than just the cashier.

  • TheVirg

    Thanks Chive, this was a good way to start my day.

  • Mr. Common Sense

    Only in 'Merica that toys trump clothes and food.
    Needy children? Since when were toys a need not a want?

    #27

    • Mrs. Sense

      You make too much sense for this country.
      Oh that's right it's called a photo-op!
      Just wanted to be publicized…

      • 1C451

        Says the husband and wife duo that have never had to spend a Christmas with nothing…

        • doohickle

          sorry to tell you but they are kind of right. As a child I could have lived off a few hot wheels cars a bike a football and a basketball. sure my parents were willing and able to buy me more then that but i never needed it. I didn't need hundreds to thousands of dollars worth of toys to have fun. What I did need was food, clothes, and a roof to live under.

          • derp

            So maybe he was buying a few hot wheels, a bike, a football and a basketball

      • mises

        As are your comments which try to prove how "really caring" you are but are really just self righteous and mock pietistic

    • ImpressMe

      What a bunch of priggish bitches you all are….. God forbid those kids have some fun and happiness….. it said the kids were needy…..not living in boxes naked……

    • agKOALA

      That is Andre Johnson, receiver for the Houston Texans. People in Houston know him as one of the most giving philanthropists in the city. That was last Christmas, he bought 10 grand in toys for children at a local homeless shelter, one that he helps fund as well. Buying Christmas presents for children that wouldnt otherwise get some, on top of already donating to help feed and house them during the winter, is a good thing. Why do people need to nitpick, giving to the need is a good deed.

      By the way, he took the photo as part of a series of donations from other Texans players Glover Quin and JJ Watt for the Texans website. It was to try and encourage other people to do the same, not glorify himself.

      • Yuppp

        Thanks for telling me this. I now have a whole new respect for him.

    • Timasand

      Most of you are missing the rest of the story. That's Andre Johnson from the Texans and he has done this for a few years now mostly unpublished until last season. It is done as a reward for less fortunate children who participate in an academic program throughout the school year. If they reach their academic goal, they get to run through toys r us and grab presents for themselves and others. It's actually a pretty endearing story…but I know, it's really easy to hate and dismiss.

    • Pretty Smile

      When you give a gift to someone in need, don't shout about it as the hypocrites do — blowing trumpets in the synagogues and streets to call attention to their acts of charity! This how I feel about a good deed. Chive does the same shit. I admire them for helping, but they want the parse too. Doesn't make you a bad person but it doesn't make you a ood person either.

      • ^Respondingtodumbass

        Hey dumbass that picture was taken by one of the store employees and posted to her facebook page. It went out from there. AJ80 is one of the nicest and giving guys in football. He never wants credit for anything people just find out about it. WTF have YOU done lately!?

    • Chris Wolfe

      Kids think about toys at Christmas, not clothes. All kids deserve a happy Christmas. You Grinches!

  • Hrdwood

    #10 At first glance, I thought Canada had removed their Penises… I'm going to get my coffee now.

    • Do0zer

      Haha! Definitely a "lol" moment there.

  • Trig

    #1 Rubbers dont weigh enough so the flashy light goes and the 16 year old girl has to take them out of the bag, swipe them and sort the till out.

    • Creepy Guy

      And then you creep her out by winking at her as you walk out.

    • Hugh Jass

      Mine weigh enough.

  • Ride

    #15 Just awesome!

    • Big Joe

      Dave is the coolest rocker ever!

  • https://www.facebook.com/chris.candel.9 Chris Candel

    Been a loyal Chiver for some time now. Always love the 'caption' posts. But lately I have seen Bob rip off cavemancircus.com too many times. All 30 pictures in todays post on the Chive appeared in a 41-picture post on forementioned site 2 days ago. In picture 10 you can even see the name of the website (forget to photoshop, Bob?).
    I know the Chive started out with reposting funny pictures from obscure (mostly Russian) websites but still you were able to be 'original'. Please, keep surprising us.

    • huh :S

      what's cavemancircus?

      • https://www.facebook.com/chris.candel.9 Chris Candel

        Cavemancircus.com is a website quite similar to the Chive. Biggest difference is the lack of the awesome Chive community, the merchandise and the charities.
        I have the Chive and cavemancircus (along with People of Wallmart) in my link-folder under 'For a Smile'. I am not trying to push or promote this website. Its just that I visit both daily and am thus able to recognise double-posts.

        • Jedediah

          I come here so I don't have to go to multiple websites for funny pictures. Without Bob re-posting this album I would never have seen it. Just because you go to a different website, that means the rest of us should too? Stop complaining…

        • ned flanders

          What do you all day dude? Jeez, do some work at work…

    • ebear

      It's nice you have time during the day to go to 500 websites to look at pictures. I do not. I don't give a shit where the pics came from…it's the internet..everyone is taking from everyone else. If you want original..go read a book.

  • Livin' Legend

    #4 I hate those things. Nothing like warm air and moisture to encourage mildew all around the areas your hands are inevitably blown.

    • Randomchiver

      I took 5 seconds to google this… No warm air. It's the only certified hygienic hand dryer…

    • Chaos

      These things are horrible, hate all dryers. Towels only please.

  • nick

    #5 refer to #3 The NASA/Redbull jokes are old as hell now

    • Poo

      You're old as hell. Quit being so negative and go play your skin flute.

    • Pretty Smile

      Replace Redbull with Space X

  • yes please

    #23 – I call BS. That's a dude on the couch and no way that's a guys writing!!

    • TrueStory

      Jonathan writes like a chick.

      • Bob Épine

        I'd love to have good penmanship, even if it's girly-looking.

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