If signs were people, these would be my best friends (30 Photos)

  • BigDingo

    pretty punny stuff

  • DMan

    What's so funny about #27?

    • hypoluxa

      I don't get it either.

      • Stevo

        thai massage & facial I suppose. It's not particularly funny.

        • Anon

          i think it's the "facial" part…put your mind in the gutter for a minute and you'll get it 🙂

          • http://www.facebook.com/JustinVincentHall Justin Hall

            Eh … I think it's because they're advertising for a foot massage, but it involves a facial and waxing? I refuse to believe that the "facial" part is the joke because that shit would be scrapping the bottom of the shit barrel.

  • http://www.facebook.com/hmfulghum Hayden Maxwell Fulghum

    Gotta love the Neptune.

  • CPO_Mendez

    #23 It does in my book…

  • chrisdg74

    "Smooth shafts and clean balls" LOL.

  • deleted44311

    If Zombies are ahead I am not going to order pizza…..Rule #1 cardio…cardio……they're gonna eat the fatties first!!!

    • https://www.facebook.com/joanna.johannesen Jo Anna Johannesen

      I think that I must have been sold to the circus because my parents were weird. hahaha

  • stafferty

    Does anybody know where the Neptune theater is? I'm really curious.

    • Liz

      it's over at the U district in Seattle Washington. I walk by it on my way to work everyday they always have hilarious signs.

      • stafferty

        Thanks, you win one internets for your answer

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=617461769 Kjell King

        Not as funny as the Lusty Lady though. She will be missed.

        • lordgodbird

          i agree. did you see the "Veni Vidi Veni" at Lusty Lady? brilliant.

  • chrisdg74

    23 – Maybe not, but it sure as hell can be considered a "religious experience".

  • MiPo_TheGoaT

    16, Why are they hating on the Upper Decker???

  • http://www.facebook.com/scarletwolf Scarlet-Wolf Ferrari Night-Rider

    I thought for #27, if they're massaging your feet, then you don't want them touching your face too…But innocence has no place within these walls.

  • Carrot

    Go Earth!

  • http://thechive.com/ mattythegooch

    I just want a happy ending with my foot waxing.

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    […] If signs were people, these would be my best friends (30 Photos) – theCHIVE […]

  • P-90

    'SOTP Tammer Hime!'

  • DanishChiver

    #29: Bådfart mens boat transport/transit. Touristfart= tourist transit. Fart in Danish also means speed, as in topfart=top speed. A classic example is on lifts/elevators, where there are signs that say "I fart", which means "in transit" (as in, the lift is on its way). Incidentally, the Danish word for fart is "prut"

  • http://twitter.com/thewritesnark @thewritesnark

    #13.. worst. sale. ever. Or truthy advertising. #7 Kids' Day at the Liquor store, priceless. Think #23 may be my fave, sexual innuendo from the Church. Amen.

  • Nicnac

    Chive has apparently just discovered the word 'facial'. I wonder how long it's going to be before they discover teabags.

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