Daily Morning Awesomeness (20 Photos)

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  • Paula_

    There better be no more fucking duckfaces today! I'm still pissed off by yesterday's overload of imbeciles with duckfaces and I WILL DDOS The Chive if you guys do. I've got a v92 modem and am not afraid to use it!

    Also: GUYS: if your GF ever makes a duckface: smack her right on the beak. HARD! And EVERY time! It's the only way this idiocy will ever stop!

    Oh and Chivers: congratulate yourself! This link (http://j.mp/fTtVEr) had over 2,000 Chivers go fuck themselves!

    Hugs,
    Paula
    – or I could do a burn in test on the new 200 mbit line they're hooking up in a few hours…

    • qwerty

      Bob, you are a douche. your galleries suck.

      • qwerty

        BOB = paula_ , you ignorant fucks.

        • Paula_

          Bob would wish he had a charming personality like me! Or ANY personality at all for that matter! You know what BOB stands for in The Chive Office? Boring Old Bob!
          Ah I miss the old days… when BOB stood for Bring On the Bitches! He was quite a womanizer once you know… unlike now; whenever a Chivette enters the office he withdraws into the bathroom for some 'private time'… right!

          Hugs,
          Paula
          – punching duckfaces straight on the beak since The Chive

    • LarsfromNorway

      Dear Paula, this time, I hope you get raped by a Scottish Black Bear !

      • El_Capitano_Boz

        There are no bears in Scotland (except in zoos), however i am Scottish and quite hairy , will i do??

    • http://www.myspace.com/theamericanmaniacs BentWrenches

      anyone besides me notice that it always says "daily morning awesomeness..20 photos" no matter how many photos there actually are? awesome!

  • bbqboobs

    #4 Sh*tty ass freeway. Nice weather. Got to be L.A.

  • weaksauce

    refresh-refresh-refresh….DMA! :D. nothing worth commenting on… :(“`

  • mojomojo444

    #4

    I'm guessing the speed limit is 87mph

    • Macfry

      Apparently where he's going, he needs roads…

      • G.T.M.A.N.

        what they don't how you is what happened when he went into the passing lane

    • Buford_Justice

      GREAT SCOTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • sex yoda

    Fuck rapture

    • Hater_Aid

      "…I chose the impossible. I chose… Rapture. A city where the artist would not fear the censor. Where the scientist would not be bound by petty morality. Where the great would not be constrained by the small. And with the sweat of your brow, Rapture can become your city as well."

      ― Andrew Ryan

  • Sanman

    #20 Need pics of what happens next… for the love of God!

    • reesty

      i think the girl on the left is Olivia Munn, so start there…

      • ROK247

        nope

    • Bud_kk

      They continue to cock tease for the rest of their life!

  • LarsfromNorway

    #20 you're definitely doing it right!

    • COCO

      No. Those girls are ugly and ruined my dinner breakfast. Chive i know you can do better

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jeffrey-D-Wolske/1093102581 Jeffrey D Wolske

    #21 does that dude know how to throw a party or what?

    • P90

      He wouldn't get into the club in the first place, 'Fuck off, no sandals'

    • Jak

      He bette bring more than just wine

    • tom a

      that last dinner party he threw wasn't that much fun. Bit of a downer really.

      Glad he's stepping up for this party though.

    • zach

      this needs to be a shirt.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Benton-McGrath/587208531 Benton McGrath

    #2 Hmm, seems like a good time for crime in Russia.

    • 123456

      The property of Hoff says hello to you, Ben.

    • Anton Goloub

      ARREST ME NOW!

    • YupYupYup

      Wrooooong, it's a bait-and-switch program.

  • mojomojo444

    #1

    All that would happen in my town is that I'd see loads of people walking round in my clothes

  • Bud

    #1 You should also sprinkle some sand in the shape of arms and a head. That movie Night of the Comet scared me when I was a wee lad.

    • amrith777

      Yeah–that'd be creepy as Hell. O__O

    • tralfaz

      Awesome under rated movie.

    • Tedskin

      lay that in front of a church

  • Pufffdragon

    #2 I didn't do it, but arrest me anyway…all of you.

    • COCO

      What would you want to be arrested for something you did not do. That is so sad, you must be lonely

    • Pufffdragon

      Either you are a women or extremely gay.

    • Anon

      In Soviet Russia, you fuck police!

  • SuperiorTo8

    #14 now all we need is an air horn

    • amrith777

      Planking………you're doin' it wrong.

  • Patrick

    #15 Act busy Jesus is coming!

    Especially if #1 is right.

  • 123456

    #1 YESSS

  • damn

    #22 Tell me I wasn't the only one waiting to see what you know I was waiting to see…

    • joko ngelono

      doing backflip?

    • Canadius

      i watched for 25 minutes before i gave up

      • hMMMM

        if you watch until minute 29 there is an EPIC event. Don't want to spoil it for anyone, though.

    • OneClownShoe

      Yeah, I was waiting for a low tree branch or something.

    • Tek257

      I watched for 3 minutes hoping he would fall off.

    • http://theanisette.com Daris

      I'm still waiting.

  • http://thechive.com/ BobbaFett

    #12
    Ah. Well… I attended Juilliard… I'm a graduate of the Harvard business school. I travel quite extensively. I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that. I've seen the exorcist about a hundred and sixty seven times, and it keeps getting funnier every single time I see it! Not to mention the fact that you're talkin' to a dead guy! Now what do you think? You think I'm qualified?

    • xen

      what does that have to do with Beatlejuice?

    • Pufffdragon

      Xen, your comment failed so bad.

    • http://www.facebook.com/whatthefernando Fernando Martinez Jr.

      OMG U R SO SMARTZ LOLZ

    • Urban

      It's kind of weird seeing them push themselves back from the table, falling to the ground.

  • alaskangrown

    the morning "its still midnight in alaska" randomness

  • xXbeermonkeyXx

    #10 wait. whats th… OMG those are nails? yyewwww gross!!

    • COCO

      I think they are cute and very fashionable.

      • Killitwithfire

        NO. They are not. This is disgusting.

  • Jobiwan

    #9 makes me sad 😦

    • mojomojo444

      Why?? Have you ever tried using a grabber at an arcade, those lobsters will outlive all of us

    • RealJerseyBean

      makes me hungry

    • bmac1

      I've seen that at a bar in Denver, but it was out of order. There were still lobsters in it, which makes me wonder how long it was out of order and what they do with the delicious prizes if they can't fix it…

    • hMMMM

      but I bet you're okay with eating them after they've been boiled alive.

    • Jak

      Shut the hell up Furlong

  • urdad

    Get a life nerds.!

  • http://twitter.com/hwynjongotti @hwynjongotti

    #22 pleas fall please fall please fall

  • Justwokeup

    What is #8? I want one!

    • Luce

      It's called a Wheelman Motorized Skateboard.

      They are fun. Just be sure not to buy a cheap chinese knock off… they dont last long 😉

    • Pufffdragon

      It's called a women. One day you might just well get your hands on one.

      • DeuceBrew

        Generally when there's only one, they are referred to as a woman.

  • DutchChiveFan

    #2, why the hell isn't the commanding officer in front of them looking happier. He should be…..

    • whirrrrr

      Because he can't look.

    • Luce

      For every hot woman in the world, there is a man tired putting up with her shit.

    • hMMMM

      gay?

    • Ben

      They've been authorized to use guns.

    • YupYupYup

      Are you kidding? With that many chicks around, somebody's always on the hormone roller coaster and wanting to bitch or cry

  • Jim

    #4 i know its a shit car but i still want it

    • hMMMM

      the DeLorean is NOT a shit car.

    • the_junglist

      This car is Shit?! BLASPHEMY!!!

      • https://www.facebook.com/people/Rob-Sherwood/1644246963 Rob Sherwood

        It was a mechanical nightmare, verrrry underpowered, and heavy as hell. AKA "Shit car." Cool looking? Yeah. In a movie? Yup. POS that almost no one bought? Yup.

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