Awkward TSA pat-downs (23 Photos)

  • Matthew Dj-Diesel Baron

    Usually you have to pay for that much attention to my junk

  • TheFlintSkinny

    #1 The old baby-on-the-corner trick, eh? Not gonna fall for that shit.

    • tjh

      Dave Chapelle is the man!!!!

    • @YWordArmy

      Well done, sir.

  • Nick702

    #1 Check the diaper. No no no, Im your supervisor and I say you check the diaper

  • Rockhardboss

    Police State…vote Ron Paul!

    • Angry Kid

      They're protecting your from getting killed by terrorists, moron.

      • Fawx

        Kinda like how, The SS protected the Germans from all those mean-nasty Jews. Oh wait.

        • Angry Kid

          Ok, so you're comparing a service which screens people for carrying weapons, which could be used to kill you, with people who murdered 10,000,000 people because they didn't like them. You must be the smartest redneck in your village.

          • bravesfan0690

            1st, if they knew has to do a search PROPERLY, it wouldn't be as bad. Have some corrections officers come and hold some training on how to do this. That'll be the only way they get it.

            2nd, all test have shown that the scanners do not pick up anything more than the metal detectors do.

            • Chris_Mason

              Are you serious? I've witnessed a few intake searches, and they would definitely be much worse.

              • Ace Ventura

                "The man with the rubber gloves was surprisingly gentle"

          • neilltumulac

            If you knew anything, we just handed over a shitload of our rights over to the government. The more control they have, the worse things will get. it's a step by step process until the people have sacrificed all their rights for their fear of these so called terrorists. Their trying to suspend our right to liberty, arms, freedom and tranquility. These "terrorists" are simply taking revenge for the shit our government has done to the middle east for the past 40 years. If some country came into the US and installed their own dictators and rulers in our states, I'd be fucking pissed too. This is all the government's fault and the power needs to be put back to the people where we still have the constitution to follow. The constitution don't mean shit anymore.

            • Big Bad Al

              TL; DR

            • ranD

              i wanted to write a reply that had meaning, but all i can is give you a thumb up for saying what needed to be said. well done sir.

      • Mandalor

        And yet they have not found a single bomb… Not 1. EVER. TSA has done shit but piss money and waste time.

        • Senor Rock

          If they did find a bomb do you think they would really announce it? The only people who would know about it would be the TSA and Police. What would happen to air travel if they did announce the a bomb had been found?

      • neilltumulac

        "He who sacrifices freedom for security deserves neither."
        -Benjamin Franklin

        • LOL

          I don't think you understand the meaning of that quote.

          • LMAO

            I don't think you understand the meaning of that quote, which is why you didn't elaborate.

            • ThatGuy

              And boom goes the dynamite.

        • imyourhuckleberry

          Neill, brilliant quote. while I think your intentions are good, your thought process is off. These aren’t “so called terrorists”, they are terrorists. They hate us bc we don’t worship Allah and we believe in liberty first. (or used to) their charter is to create an Islamic world.

      • imyourhuckleberry

        This isn’t about protection. If it was there would be profiling. This is a dog and pony show to give the illusion of safety and to slowly strip away our liberty.

    • JoJo

      Yep, doesnt get any more fascist than this. :@

    • Flagraiser

      Take a look at this thread and see who has all the thumbs up and who has all the thumbs down.
      I love it.

      Ron Paul 2012!

    • Anthony

      9/11 wasn't a failure of air port security, it was failure of the policy to give in to terrorist and do what ever they want. The reason why there hasn't been any successful terrorist attacks recently in the US is because of passenger intervention and that THERE IS NO THREAT. If there was a real threat Disney Land, sport stadiums and large shopping theaters would do what the TSA does.
      Veterans for Ron Paul 2012!

      • que?

        Anthony, if no threat, then in what were the passengers intervening? Stop drinking the Ron Paul koolaid and pick up the rand Paul koolaid.

        • Jen


          • Some Dude

            Jen Has it right- tits over all your bullshit. People like you thumbs up fuckers were the same assholes warmongering after 9/11. You guys hate everything- George Bush gives the Patriot act you bitch, tsa pat downs have obviously worked and in the aren't that big a deal, you bitch, no tsa and planes fly into 3 building and a field and you want blood and you bitch about no security on planes, then you bitch about obama creating a police state but he's managed to give back civil rights taken away by the last administration, including the fucking insanity that will let douche bags like you openly carry weapons to demonstrations he's at. I can break it down pretty easy as to why you get a lot of thumbs up- theres a lot of dumb fucks out there. Eat a dick, slap your mom for not swallowing you like she should have.

  • Jaeger

    i haven't gotten any action in awhile, time to book my flight 😀

    • Christopher Neufeldt

      you really want some old coot that has the exploded pants look feeling you up?

      • gofistyourself

        yes, yes he does !

  • Vinny

    #17 Sure I'll pet your pussy, but you'll have to move the damn cat.

    • echogeo

      To quote the late, great Johnny Carson.

      • db3300

        Urban legend. Per snopes: didn't happen.

        • ranD

          true or not, dont be a buzzkill for no good reason.

  • Kyle Cruz



    #21 looks suspicious, I'd thoroughly pat her down.

    • ilovethechive

      I think I need to get a job at the TSA…screening only hot women over here on the right please.B)

    • six

      Totally porn material!

  • Captlazarus

    Dude, sweet job at the TSA with loads of OT. It's pretty easy. Wait, I gotta do what now? For every #22 there's 1,000 #23

    • dub

      But it's the fastest growing field of work in America!

    • JAS

      Sadly men don't get to examine women. You get to fondle junk for explosives and liquids if you know what I mean.

  • CarTuned

    Some are just a shame…but, better safe than sorry

    • Kieran O'Halloran

      better safe then sorry? you do realize that they haven't caught one terrorist with a pat down

      • Capitalsfan74

        And they never will. Sucks that the alarmists don't think rationally.

        • Rob

          They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety.

    • Hipster_Paula

      you are absolutely right, Dear

      It's time to SHUT UP and BE HAPPY.

      it's the law now.

      -the one who invented the totalitarian state.

  • Bence Béky

    Can't tell if trolling or just not into pop music (#4)

    • ThatGuy

      I'd think better of him if its the latter.

  • gophernut

    "They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." Benjamin Franklin

    • HUH?

      and your solution would be?

    • r@f

      I was about to Thumbs up this comment but can you explain why we dont deserve safety by following simple pat down rules. Just curious.

      • Surfer

        I think the point he's making is that we're giving away freedoms for some perception of safety. And I say, "perception because I don't think that groping old ladies and children making us any safer.

        • Angry Kid

          What "freedoms" are being given away, exactly? It's a fucking checkpoint, they have them in pretty much every other country in the world. Just because it's an inconvenience to you doesn't mean it doesn't work. Sure, let's post 23 pictures of people who arguably don't need to be searched, and let's ignore the fact that they pat down MILLIONS of people EVERY DAY, including criminals, potential terrorists and – on occasion – a grandma.

          • Capitalsfan74

            The freedom of not getting an over-the-pants-handjob by a random stranger is being taken away. I used to think the same way as you until I started to travel regularly. The "pat-downs" are not pat-downs you think they are, they are sanctioned molestation. They violate every right to privacy, and have yet to stop a terrorist.

            The alarmist society of today wants us to believe that these measures are necessary, when they are in-fact not necessary at all. Is it really worth giving up these rights simply for some sense of false security? Yes, the United States got lucky with the Shoe Bomber, but "pat downs" wouldn't have foiled that either.

      • gophernut

        I think the point of the entire thread is that they may in fact be taking this too far. Kids, Nuns? That is all.

    • HUH?

      i agree. much easier to sift thru the wreckage to see who had the bomb in their underwear. the dead dont put up a fuss over an autopsy like the living put up a fuss over a pat down.

      • Surfer

        When's the last time an American airliner was blown up by a bomb? When was the last time a TSA agent found a bomb in one of these patdowns?

      • black27696

        You do realize that with the current rules an agent of a terrorist organization could walk right through as long as he isn't on the no-fly list and didn't get randomly selected, right? While they're feeling up grandma, he can walk on with explosives.

    • Chiver

      Damned straight!! I'm thumbing this comment WAY up!

    • Gern Blansten

      I am a strong believer in that quote.

      Why it fails here:

      The TSA are the result of an agreement between the government and a private industry – the airlines. You enter in to a contract with the airline, which requires that you are thoroughly screened. This is not an infringement on liberty.

      Also, if you had any idea of WHY they are as thorough as they are now, you'd voluntarily strip to your undies and give them a tip afterwards.

      • Poontangler

        One of the two biggest lies on earth: "I only want to put the tip in."

      • dub

        An agreement? You show me an agreement and I'll consider you credible.

        It was the Patriot Act, son. Still is.

        Answer this question: At which point will it be too much? To see the TSA at your kids schools? In public government buildings?

        Whichever point it is, are you going to wait until it gets there to something about it?

        Oh also, TSA agents are not sworn in to protect you like your local police.

      • Capitalsfan74

        You don't enter a contract with the TSA when you book an airline. You enter a contract with the airliner and the airliner only. The TSA doesn't work for American Airlines or Air China, it works for the US government. AT NO POINT do you enter a contract with the TSA saying you can be groped in public.

    • Jon

      Stop arguing just for the sake of it guys – if a guy stood up with a gun or any other weapon 20,000 feet in the air you'd all shit yourselves and you know it. Just put up with a pat-down – don't like it? Try better gun laws, as in NO guns.

      • Regions

        Good call. We should definitely strip the populace of it's weapons. I mean it has done wonders for N. Korea, China, Socialist Germany, and the Bloc countries.
        Now THAT'S an example to follow!! Give this man a cigar!

      • Lemonade

        I like your logic here. Clearly the most appropriate course of action involving an apparent loss of Fourth Amendment rights is to abolish the Second Amendment as well. Maybe after that we can ditch the whole free speech thing so that we don't have to listen to people complain about how all their rights are being taken away.

        • Regions

          See this guy right here knows whats up! If we just get rid of those pesky "rights" we won't have to hear you bitch nearly as much! And when you do we can legally just bury you! Yayyyy Merica!

      • doh

        Then only the bad guys would have guns

  • Zach Southard

    odd…I don't recall any terrorists that look like anyone of the people getting molested here…heaven forbid we offend the terrorist

    • Joshua Payton

      It seems to me that the terrorists who blew up the government building in OKC looked like most of these people . . . heaven forbid we offed white people to ensure safety while flying.

      • Zach Southard

        riiight…and thats when the TSA implemented all these restrictions right?….yeah, didn't think so…keep on hating America buddy

        • bob loblaw

          why would that mean he hates america, you dumb fuck? is america only white people? it's ignorant retards like you that give americans a bad name..we aren't all racist dipshits like you.

      • ROK247

        how he got that truckload-size fertilzer bomb thru airport security is anybodys guess…

      • lebo

        I wonder what the managing partner of Jones Obenchain, LLP would think of you surfing the chive during work?

        • dub

          dirty dirty

    • justsaying

      That is because you are an idiot with a short memory…Timothy Mcvey.

      • Zach Southard

        timothy mcveigh didn't fly thru aiport security to get to okc, he drove a truck with explosives…good job on the name calling, maybe try to be a little more accurate with your statements next time…I suppose you're all for patting down babies and old men with prosthetic limbs at the airport…jackass, get a clue…

  • lil blood flow

    every time i go thru one i feel the need to work up a chub to look good for tsa

    • Gern Blansten

      Things I have said while flying recently:

      Where's the brass pole?

      Should I gyrate?

      Should I buy you dinner before or after?

      The TSA appreciate a sense of humor. Particularly after they have scrutinized 1000+ land-manatees. Some things even alcohol can't erase.

      • Non sequitur

        Awesome! Let us all 'Learn With Gern".

  • McSgwigga

    find #22

    • ned

      that is kim k

      • Greengrass

        Actually, that is her sister Kourtney K.

    • KyleRetrato

      I would pat her right the fuck down.

  • Craig Weiss

    #23 – Please raise both your hands if you believe in racially profiling and not accosting seniors and infants.

  • KeyserSoze

    Extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice. Moderation in the pursuit of justice is no virtue.

    • Dan

      Thanks, Hitler.

  • dcah

    I'm confused, isn't this illegal to take pictures of the security?

    • ???

      In China, maybe.

  • Althing

    #13 Oh wow he SO looks like a terrorist doesn't he? Come to think of it none of these people fit the profile but why are they subject to this kind of treatment?

    • HUH?

      right. old people dont smuggle drugs or cash.

      • Huh's Grandpa

        I've told you many times, it was medicinal marijuana for my glaucoma. Grandpa still loves you, even if you are a little judgmental shit.

        • Huh's Grandma

          And the cash?

          • Huh's Grandpa

            For hookers.

      • lebo

        Dummy, TSA isn't drug enforcement. IF you believe they are allowed to pat you down with no probable cause for drugs and cash, you really do deserve the freedom you're getting.

    • db3300

      They'll never catch a terrorist anyway since they refuse to profile the group mostly likely to be one.

    • Bigocci

      This is absolutely disgusting. The look on the mans face speaks volumes. The TSA is a joke and this whole charade provides nothing more than a false sense of security.

  • bless1

    #13- the old hide a bomb in the vets prosthetic leg trick.

    • Chiefs420

      The old re-use joke from comment 2 trick

  • Poontangler

    #21 -"Lois, step aside. I got this."

  • BSmike

    #4 check out THAT side boob

    • NELSON


  • Chicago_Animal

    17: Fake. They don’t make you take off clothing in the middle of the airport in front of people.

  • SinisteRtheWickeD

    #1, #23 I feel so much safer flying now. Keep up the good work TSA!

  • dzine

    #17 MILF!

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