Daily Morning Awesomeness (20 Photos)

  • Paula_

    Good morning Chivers.
    [group]: "Good morning."
    I am Paula, and I am… a Chiver

    – Last thing I remember, I was
    running for the door
    I had to find the passage back
    to the place I was before
    ’Relax,’ said the night man,
    we are programmed to receive.
    You can checkout any time you like,
    but you can never leave!

    • Anakrusix

      Attention first time Chivers-

      We dont claim Paula.


      • Paula_

        True, true, Paula is a free spirit.
        Thank you!

        – a Chiver

      • Chiveinator

        but you can , if you apply quickly to your local animal shelter

    • Chiveinator

      running for the door
      find the passage back
      night man,programmed to receive

      You try'n to tell us somtin paula

    • http://www.facebook.com/codealpha Terry Burke

      no you're not

    • Rick

      Hotel California by the eagles is the best song ever written! I can not thumb down the troll today.

      • DistractedIndividual

        Sadly I agree…But then again I always just thumb up Paula's comments before I read them. Meh-

    • Billy

      #16 George Lopez is an a-hole just like Paula.

    • ZombieBootParty

      The Dude would NOT abide.

    • mmm

      I fucking hate you.

    • rooster

      paula, are you hot by any chance?

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        Whenever I die in a fire dear.

        – the one you'll learn to hate

      • ranD

        the "original paula" was. the one that used to end "hugs and kisses" on every post. she had a link to her modeling page. however THIS paula, who knows…. (whether they are the same or not is unknown)

        • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

          Just kisses dear, it was never hugs AND kisses.

          – the one you love to hate

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Steve-Shaw/669440656 Steve Shaw

      I'm starting to think that Paula works for theChive…. who the hell has so much time on their hands that they manage to comment on the first page of damn near every single post?

      • NutBuster

        Who indeed?

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        5 minute warning rulez!

        – the one they'll never understand

        • theederv

          fuck off paula

    • amrith777

      Good morning to you too Paula–great song BTW!!

    • i know my rights

      Jesus, man… I've had a rough night, and I hate the fucking Eagles, man

    • DeDav

      Open the door, get on the floor.
      Everybody walk the dinosaur!

  • JoR

    Another awesome morning! Chive on! Been surfing the Chive for a while. Just began posting comments. Nice to meet ya'll!

    • Paula_

      Hi JoR! Beware of the haters once you begin posting comments. They're always on to me too for some unknown reason.

      – the dark sith of the Chive

    • Chiveinator

      Welcome aboard JoR and never mind paula she's more like the Jar-Jar binks of the chive B)

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        Now THAT was low ๐Ÿ™‚

        – the one seeing herself as Princess Leia

        • Chiveinator

          of course Leia , anakins sister

          • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

            No his daughter idiot.

            – the one you love to hate

            • Chiveinator

              Infinite thumbs down for you:p

              • eskerigasko

                It would be ok if I loved to hate Paula but she/he just isn't interesting enough

  • alate

    #10 Time Wars: 1st FLUX batallion

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Andrew-Tarr/58203030 Andrew Tarr

      Great Scott!!!

    • Kris

      Jebus. 1.21 JIGawatts to power each one, multiplied by…. screw it, too early to do math.

    • Frank

      So much cocaine.

    • Jose

      "Where we're going, we don't need roads…" Chive on!

  • hater.

    #6 "An escalator can never break–it can only become stairs. You would never see an "Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order" sign, just "Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience. We apologize for the fact that you can still get up there.""-Mitch Hedberg

    • jp34

      ah you beat me to it, well done

    • yadda yadda

      yes……well donw sir

    • http://www.facebook.com/codealpha Terry Burke

      R.I.P. Mitch Hedberg

    • BSmike

      My thoughts exactly.. +1 to you

    • http://www.myspace.com/theamericanmaniacs BentWrenches

      Mitch Fucking Hedberg ,you will be missed

    • Allenavw

      Mitch Hedburg gets me everytime. Still can't believe he's gone. I totally read this in his voice.

  • dash

    #6 like mitch hedberg said the sign should say escalator temporarily stairs, sorry for the convenience

    • Vagina Jones

      "Hater." Totally shat all over your parade didn't he? Learn to use that F5 button, player.

      • dash

        thanks for the tip about f5

  • Anakrusix

    #21 – Jurassic Park jeep. AWESOME!

    Is that a Portal cube? Fuckin-A!

    • alate

      =O had not noticed the cube! fuckin-a indeed

    • Rob

      not awesome

      • snoobs89

        your comment is decribing itself

    • Anonomotopus

      The Cake Is A Lie!

    • yup

      Portal Companion Cube. I wonder how he avoided incinerating it.

    • Your Mom

      That's in Orlando. The guy is a tech at Universal (I used to work there) he has this jeep, a complete BTTF Delorean, and a Knight Rider car, and a Herbie with remote controlled doors/trunk.

  • jp34


  • Joe

    #2 So this is where those cows come from…

    • Catch

      All the happy cows come from Thunderbluff.

    • NutBuster

      #11 So this is where paula comes from…

  • Jojo

    #19 As a dad, your heart sinks a little seeing crap like that… Must teach daughter how to use a stun gun, ju jitsu, and a night stick.

    • A Drummer

      Must suck that she is still gonna end up blowing the drummer of a cover band in the bathroom of a dive bar.

      • Anon

        Looks to me like he is looking at the camera ๐Ÿ˜› Likely just being a weirdo posing in other peoples pictures

      • no girls

        and then chug down the prick porridge like a champ to get back at daddy for not buying the prom dress she wanted

    • Sizzle

      Or just not let her dress like a power-slut at the age of 12.

    • happyman

      thank my nuts I've got three boys!!! good luck in the future!

    • Da_Boz

      If I have a daughter, she will hate me because she will not be allowed booty shorts, tank tops, a razor to shave with, or make-up. Her name will be Hermidia and she can change all of that at 18. lol

      • Rick

        named my daughter Willamenia henrietta.

    • garratygroup

      As a former awkward little boy, my heart sinks just a little bit at dads like you who teach their daughters that we "mean them harm" just because we're socially awkward.

      • Sick

        you are ok. it's the suave jocks we worried about

    • Toots McGee

      I bet he banged all three of them!

  • Cyberfunker

    #1 Ladies & Gentleman, we at Chive proudly present you the heir to Clint Eastwood Coolness

  • yellowknifeLC

    #14 im pretty sure thats in Gratz, Austria. its a really cool place as the center is a bar.

    • Grazer

      Yep, it's the murinsel in Graz ๐Ÿ™‚

    • mark

      Its called Graz, in Austria.

    • Sizzle

      Pure awesome. Must go.

      • Steve

        Its in a river. You can tell by looking under the bridge.

        • Guest commenter

          HAHAHAHAHAHA! Thanks for that, I needed a laugh this morning.

    • Scott Spiva

      The Murinsel (German, literally Mur island) in Graz, Austria, is actually not an island at all, but an artificial floating platform in the middle of the Mur river. This landmark of Graz was designed by New York artist Vito Acconci on the occasion of Graz becoming the 2003 European Capital of Culture.
      The building in the form of a giant sea shell measures 50m in length and 20m in width. Two footbridges connect it with both banks of the Mur. The center of the platform forms an amphitheater. Below a twisted round dome there is a café and a playground. The Murinsel is built for a maximum number of 350 visitors.

    • Billy

      http://www.grazaustria.co.uk/?Mur_Island Thanks for the homework Chive. I learn something new everyday.

    • Brennzky

      THats it! I thought it was Graz, but I was also thinking it could be Köln as well. Was there 6 years ago now I need to go back.

    • val

      some people call it graz, we call it graz vegas!

      • http://nope.com gehtdinixan

        do we?

    • brett

      That is the bridge to the Pterodactyl cage from Jurassic Park III

      • Samuelle

        Graz is ace, I went there a few years ago. It's where Arnie's from, and the big clock there has the hands the wrong way round, and there's a big building that looks kind of like a liver or something. Weird place, but great!

  • Ash

    #11 simple, yet hilarious for no reason other than the surprise nom nom

    • Chiveinator


      • snoobs89

        Dude. That comment was flawless.

        • snoobs89

          Cheers matey, but it aint my Bday… you need to be swinging them bday wishes to Allenavw

          • Chiveinator

            see ,this is exactly why you should web surf sober:$

    • amrith777

      Or supprise buttsecks!!

  • AT-Oe

    Graz, Styra, Austria, Europe

    • James

      The World, The Universe

    • John

      Cafe Insel on the Mur River

  • http://toprice.ie/ TOPRICE.IE

    #1 #4 #7 #11 #12 #15 #16 #17 #18 #20

    • duh

      If you say nothing about the pics, all you've done is show us what we've already seen….

    • arTee

      Cool story bro.

  • http://www.facebook.com/Chance11or Jeff Chancellor-Neely

    #19 I kept looking for pedo bear

    • Chiveinator

      I think thats him in the back,the one with the day-glo fluorescent nipples ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

    • nnn

      I wish I was special… so very special….

  • Florian

    #14 is located in Graz ; Austria. It’s called Mur bridge

  • truthvirus

    Hey Christians… what did God do before he created our universe? Better yet… where did he come from?

    • Anon

      or we could not go on that topic… ๐Ÿ˜‰

      But I have an answer for that anyways. Our universe is inside a marble that some alien lifeform is playing with. And their universe is inside a marble… so all that the great marble creator above did was create a new marble when he made us! Now that I told you that I'm going to have to ask you to look into this red light for one second….

      • Chiveinator

        boy what a mind blowing idea, they should totally put that in a movie ^_^

        • DistractedIndividual

          Or put it on a cat's collar?…

    • Brad

      I love when religious folk start throwing out questions like "what happened before the big bang" like that proves there's a god. Just because we don't know the answer to something doesn't mean the answer is god. It just means we don't know the answer yet.

      • Anonymous

        Not knowing the answer means that we also don't know that the answer is *not* God…

        • Inquiring Minds

          Triple negative, wow. Can't follow your logic, but let me try to clarify the previous point. Just because we don't know the answer, doesn't mean we make one up. The Romans didn't understand how the sun rose and set each day, so they made up a story that an invisible chariot charted it across the sky. Now, for some reason, some people want the lie, the story, while others can't simply accept these creation myths at face value- they seek the truth. Which are you?

        • Mr. Loaf

          What you said is meaningless:
          "Not knowing the answer means that we also don't know that the answer is *not* God…"

          Substitute "God" in that statement for anything at all! It's hours of fun!

          – Not knowing the answer means that we also don't know that the answer is *not* a steaming bowl of feces"

        • Agnostic Monk

          Militant Athiests are almost as looney as Religious people. Even though what you said makes little sense, the truth of what you're saying is this:

          Anyone who claims for an absolute fact that their is or is not a creator of some sort, is claiming something that is beyond the scope of understanding. Literally, our brain lacks the capability of conceptually understanding something that comes from nothing. Logically, this would conclude that since we have no direct evidence, we should not believe. But 'evidence' is very subjective in philosophical matters. Human nature also drives us to wish to have a story with a beginning and a purpose. But that alone doesn't bare any significance.

          Sometimes you just have to realize that not everything is within the scope of human comprehension, just chill and by at least 80 years from now, we'll all get a chance to know whats up. Besides this is the chive, and what we should all be talking about is titties. Amen.

          • Big Daddy Greg

            Well said sir….

    • jesus

      come on the answer was great

    • ROK247

      religion is the first and most successful infomercial ever created.

      • Sick

        it's the best way to tell someone "don't worry about the origin of the universe and stuff, just go plant/hunt something"

        • Mr. Loaf

          Or just go liberate/invade somewhere.

    • Jesus

      I love you all and die for your sins. Come hang with me in heaven. *in a soothing voice

      • Chive That

        You died for our sins? Well shit, lets not let him die for nothing!! We've got some sinning to do boys!

    • medieval

      how could our evolved monkey minds possibly answer that…..want a banana?

  • codvip

    #12 And that's the true story of how the west was won.

    • Choad

      I wonder how many times thechive will post this pic. I think this makes at least 10 times

    • That Guy

      i still don't know how i feel about shopping pics of D Day for our amusement.

  • Patrick

    #4 And that's where babies come from son

    • Ryan

      No, that's where Paula came from.

      • GoPackers

        Not true
        whatever spawned paula I'm sure could not have belonged to the same species

    • Jon.

      I came from an elephant?!?!?

  • Wimair

    Nr. 14 is in Graz, austria.

  • Chiveinator

    I totally gonna print this and put it up in the burns unit of my local hospital ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Foley

      lol, stay classy.

  • patri

    #10 where we're going, we don't need roads.

  • riot

    #17 a whole new world.. wait, is that your sister?

  • snoobs89

    #21 my companion CUBE! i told the Cops it was that asshole sam neil but they wouldnt believe me.

    he's going to be deader than his career is when i catch him.

  • Chiveinator

    How sweet mommy elephant has an itchy back and daddy elephant is helping her scratch it ๐Ÿ™‚

    • LaLakers2408

      is it me or does the female look like it is clearly enjoying it lol i mean it looks like its smiling

      • Foley

        And holding onto the tree like one would a bed head.

      • Catch

        Typical, the male seems to be enjoying himself so much more.

        • Mystery P.U.A

          if your not a woman I'll eat my mouse pad:*

    • Mystery P.U.A

      I don't even want to know what the tyres are for ๐Ÿ˜ก

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