Dopamine dump (25 photos)

  • chrisdg74

    #9 – I don't think punching him will cure his Nazi Tourette's.

    • VampJenn

      Agreed, it won't cure him, but i would still give that guy money. Glenn Beck needs a punch in the face.

    • thepoopsmith

      I'm not saying he doesn't need a punch in the face, however saying he has "Nazi tourettes" is factually inaccurate seeing as how Nazi stands for national socialist party (big government) and im pretty sure everything he talks about is for self reliance and smaller gov't. (2¢)

      • chrisdg74

        I was merely quoting Lewis Black. Neither agreeing nor disagreeing with his political views.

      • its_forge

        You… haven't actually listened to Beck, have you? Additionally you realize that Hitler calling his party "National Socialists" was a bullshit cover for fascism, right? You know politicians can call things names that have nothing to do with what they actually are, right? For instance "No Child Left Behind," whose specific purpose is to make sure kids get left behind, and also to de-fund and close down schools that can't live up to some imaginary standard set forth by some standardized tests that were created by people who shoveled money into Bush's campaign accounts. If given enough time eventually it would have left ALL children behind, excepting the ones whose parents could afford private school. Try to think before you type okay?

    • Brother Maynard

      A bullet to his head would cure the rest of us.

      • armyabn

        To a leftist, violence is the answer. Lee Harvey, is that you?

      • Bill Whittle

        Brother Maynard will execute anyone who disagrees with his point of view. Right "Brother?" My GOD, but the left is a violent collection of psychopaths. And as far as "Nazi" goes, the term Nazi is an acronym for the Nationalsozialistische Deutsche Arbeiterpartei — the National Socialist German Worker's Party.

        Just so you ignorant, violent, liberal dickheads are fully up to speed: you can't spell NAZI without SOCIALIST WORKERS PARTY.


        • its_forge

          The Nazis saying they were Socialist doesn't make them any less fascists than me saying I'm Miranda Kerr makes me a tiny Australian woman with an adorable butt.

    • hitman219

      funny that those who always want to preach tolerance are so quick to get violent…

      and @thepoopsmith, you are correct…

      • Jen

        here we go with the godamn political arguments on the chive. STFU

        • thom

          How come it is apolitical to post a sign supporting violence against Republicans, but overly political to try and defend one?

          • hitman219

            post of the day!

          • Growl

            Because the sign is funny?

          • TitoRigatoni

            It isn't supporting violence against Republicans, it's advocating punching Glenn Beck in the mouth. His politics are irrelevant; Glenn Beck is an Asshole and could probably use a punch in the mouth.

        • hitman219

          I'm not the one who submitted/posted the obviously political image, nor am i the one who started the commentary so FOAD.

    • equalizermax

      #14 The Obama's doesn't agree

    • One Man Difference

      Heaven forbid that Glenn Beck does thorough research and presents an educated, accurate show that lays out the true nature of this administrations 'Progressive' politics. Beyond that, he invites the audience to do their own research and prove him wrong. The man doesn't condone violence in any form and has encouraged his audience to pray for the protection and safety of the President, even though he doesn't agree with his politics. But hey, signs that promote violence against Conservatives is okay and funny right?

      Wasn't it also hilarious when Obama said, "Shovel-ready was not as … uh .. shovel-ready as we expected." (Direct Quote from his 'Council on Jobs and Competitiveness' 06-13-11) despite him promising that if his stimulus plan was passed all of these "Shovel-ready jobs" were just waiting to go? Well, we're way past last year's "Summer of Recovery" and we're still at over 9% unemployment (near 20% if you count the underemployed). Should I go on about the other hilarity this administration has to offer?

      • hitman219

        You are aware that to disagree with the current administration is to out yourself as a racist, correct? Someone needs some time in the re-education camps AKA college… </sarcasm>

        • One Man Difference

          I'm pretty sure my last post was probably tagged by the NSA for that very reason. I'll shut up about politics because I don't like it on the Chive (there's plenty of other sites for this BS). But, if the Chive keeps putting up this kind of crap, I'll keep rebutting it with facts.

          • bigdeal

            one man needs some oral. i think it could be done even withOUT threatening to burn my house down…… you sir, deserve the slow clap.

          • Jangalang

            "Facts"… okkkaaayyy… To the conspiracy chalk board!

            • Foley


      • tralfaz

        readings hard

        • bigdeal

          something we can BOTH agree on.

      • Anon

        you are aware that Glen Beck kicks baby deer and then insults them on Fox?

        • htiman219

          I'm aware that i have a freezer full of antelope, elk, moose and buffalo (some of which were caves) so i'm pretty sure i don't care about the baby deer. deer are an overpopulated nuisance anyway (tasty too).

          • fibonacci5150

            Deer are lame. they just eat shrubs u plant and hiss and shit when u yell at them from ur porch

      • its_forge

        "Glenn Beck does thorough research and presents an educated, accurate show"PHHWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HA HA HA HA HA

        omg you're serious


    • its_forge

      Oh it's worse now. Now Beck thinks he's some kind of Bizarro prophet and says people like Warren Buffett and George Soros are living Hellspawn who must be destroyed before they send all of humanity to Hell. Totally not joking at all.

  • Hich



  • junior

    #24…gangsta love….( they met in prison)

    • ak47

      its just that thuggin looooove

    • Fort Kickass


      • PartyMarty


    • Prejudiced

      I love how you assume that just because two black guys are dressed in urban clothing, they are automatically gangstas.

      • Gern Blansten

        Perhaps if they wish to end such prejudice, they might consider wardrobe choices that do not emulate certain sub-cultures associated with criminal lifestyles.

        • Some Dude

          Yeah and fuck chicks who get raped for dressing like sluts. For fuck sakes, half you twats have never even seen real thugs. The perfect white sneakers, everything new and crisp, no tattoos, that SCREAMS 'thug'. Fucking twats. Hate to break it to you but the biggest thieves and murderers int he world wear a suits and ties.

          • dub

            But at least they don't get donned the title "Gangsters" because they dress nicely, the point that Gern was making.

          • junior

            your a bit of a douche bag aren't you…

          • American


        • junior

          relax dude, i was just being funny… smoke a blunt or something

      • Bruce M Hiscott

        you do realize the style of over sized shirts and sagging pants started in prison, It is also a joke, if you saw two white guys in dirty jeans and a wifebeater outside a trailer you would assume they were rednecks also, image plays a big role in how people perceive you

      • Kris

        No, it's two black guys on a MARTA train. THAT makes them automatically gangsta. Ride one and you'll understand (a MARTA train, not Atlanta ghetto trash).

    • Nathan B Forrest

      Hahaha! Cause they are blacks! Pretty much all Blacks go to prison so they probably DID meet there!
      I love the chive because we can be racist and it is completely cool! I can get used to this site!

    • Kop

      chive is racist and clearly homophobic

      • Jack Attack

        That is the sad truth.

      • Kris

        Aw, poor baby. If you don't like it you're more than welcome to start your own "non-racist" and "non-homophobic" site. You can call it

    • SuperMario


  • Paula_

    #12 will be reposted about 17 times more. And it should be. Maybe 18…

    – the one you love to hate

    • Henrik

      Look who came out of his/her/it's cave.

    • Gern Blansten

      Yeah, so naked pics of you, or you aren't real.

    • jmac0585

      I hate it when you are right.

    • donkeykongstrong

      God dammit why are you back. Other than 3 idiots asking where you were, overwhelmingly we were happy to imagine you had died. (Welcome Back)

    • rodolfo

      Can we PLEASE start ignoring this person!

      • Boobman

        LOL, just keep feeding the troll….

      • Paula_

        No. Not an option.

        – the one you love to hate

  • VampJenn

    #23 i love Shel Silverstein

  • KeyserSoze

    #23 Still awesome. Especially the Giving tree.

  • The Bandit

    #8 ..For me still the greatest Sitcom ever…and Al Bundy stays the greatest character! NO MA'AM!

    • patov40

      I always wanted to go to a taping so I could be part of the standing ovation when he first came on stage. And so I could do the "WOOOOOOOOOO" when Christina Applegate came on.

    • McBeastie

      Polk High # 33!

    • tret20

      4 touchdowns in 1 game !!!

    • KeyserSoze

      He's pretty great in Modern Family too.

    • Jared

      Who's that riding in the sun?
      Who's the man with the itchy gun?
      Who's the man who kills for fun?
      Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad.

      He sleeps with a gun
      but he loves his son
      Killed his wife 'cos she weighed a ton.
      Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad!

  • disturbed

    #2 3 Way?

    • DudeLove69

      I would rather do the turtle too !!

    • panama99

      The turtle says no to you…..

    • august west

      chick from parks and rec?

    • dub

      Fertile Turtles

  • Henrik

    #22 Where can I get one of those?

    • Me-maw

      an eye full of semen??

    • Mr Lucky

      In the eye. Duh

    • Brother Maynard

      I'm sure your mom has a few.

    • windowlicker

      A bakery?

    • k-i-c-it

      The girl to unload on, or a cake?

    • The Spicy Italian

      Awww half the fun is going around bakeries asking them to write that on a cake

    • Rob

      make it yourself.

  • Doug

    #24 Now that's gangsta!

    • panama99

      "Hold me Dog"

      "I got your back"

    • MacNCheesePro

      No, that's Gayngsta!

  • Surf and Snow

    #2 I wonder how long it takes a turtle to finish…

    • disturbed

      Probably not as long as it takes him to start.

    • kornerr

      I guess if the turtle thinks the hippo wants next, then "forever if he can" is your answer …

  • browneye

    #2 What is the big deal with a hippo watching two turtles mate?

    • DistractedIndividual

      It would like to join but cannot squeeze in…Bummer.. :]

  • Trent

    How in the hell did the guy on the left land that little cutie. #16

    • Joshy2Saucy


      • Melanie

        That or he has a really large penis.

        • pat

          doubt it. penis size seems to matter more to men than it does to women(at least women who have actually had sex before).

          • its_forge

            Girls who say size doesn't matter are just being diplomatic. Obviously they're not all looking for someone with a forearm growing out of their groin, but yeah.

    • Brad

      he's in the friend-zone and she has no idea he hates it…

    • Guest commenter

      Precisely what I was wondering. I almost didn't even notice the kid in the middle trying to figure that out.

    • Lhturbo

      thinking the same thing. Find her! find story!

    • Holly Sands

      Out of pity

    • black27696

      Apparently everyone forgot high school? He's a lineman on the football team. She was recently dumped by someone else on the team, and this will piss him off the most.

    • its_forge

      He's smart and tells funny jokes and the kicker: he pays attention to her.

  • xxs

    what's with so many duplicate posts recently???

    • Meh

      Agreed. The Chive staff are getting ready for their next drunken adventure and their lack of new posts is evidence of that. Going down the digg road, Chive…

    • gefundigeliebe

      There's 20 Morning Awesomeness and about 40 DAR every day on this site. That's 60 pics EVERY DAY. In addition to daily specials (hump day, FLBP, side/underboob, SC, motivational, burn bra).
      If it's free, smile and shut the fuck up.

      • spellckr

        not there's…there are.

      • theone

        So ? Its their fukin job to post pics ,they are not doing this for charity ,so either they should work harder to find pics or shut it all down. The chive honestly sucks now.

  • JT Mo-Nay

    #14 At first I was like. But then I was like.

    • Guest

      reaction to an Anthony Weiner text on the teleprompter

    • sooty

      its actually their reaction to #13. I see what you did there Leo. 😉 #winning

    • MIKE

      UGLY X 2

      • bigdeal


    • MIKE

      UGLY X 2

      • bigdeal

        agree again.

    • vector1960

      He just saw his approval ratings.

  • Me-maw

    #9 For the love of all thats sacred,someone please give him some $$$!!!

  • Josh Gorter

    #13 Majoring in philosophy? Pretty sure the drugs would be a better choice.

    • Codey

      the most common degree among fortune 500 companies is Philosophy. Of course most if not all double major in something else

      • Ken

        I majored in Philosophy and Biology. Not Fortune 500 but doin' okay.

    • sooty

      pretty sure this was about the asian kid. #couldbewrong

  • Justin Hall

    #4 Proof that the duck face is an invention of Satan.

    • Jessica Condrey

      lol perfect answer sir ;D

  • dromichaete

    #18 – mais non!
    Louis de Funes, great comic …

  • Donger



    • Jared

      He and Stringer finally made up.

    • PartyMarty


  • Goblin

    #21 watching old family home movies. ” look baby this was the day you where consieved.”

    • JDub

      Ya thats what I was thinkin, is this the start of the birth video?

    • Rick

      I think the word you're looking for is 'conceived'

  • patov40

    #8 – "Can I get a 'Yo Bundy'?"

  • Goblin

    #21 watching old family home movies. ” look baby this was the day you where conceived.”

  • V4Vendetta14

    #11, Those old photo recreations always crack me up. Especially when they nail the facial expression.

    #19, That is a pretty good use of old advertising methods.

  • patov40

    #1 – Okay I'll be the one to say it:

    "They see me rollin', they hatin'……

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