Daily Afternoon Randomness (49 Photos)

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  • Royce

    #3 Knucks dude.

    • equalizermax

      You call that a horse?…. Bhwaaaaa!!!

    • Truth

      Comparative diagram. My penis on the left, yours on the right.

    • PoliJoking

      Clearly, the Republicans will be winning this debate.

    • zoidbert

      This is crying for a "Come at me, Bro!"

      • Nah

        No, no it isn't.

    • TitoRigatoni

      High five, bro, don't leave me hangin'!

    • tralfaz

      Kneel before Zod!

  • thepikeypio

    #8 has to be one of the sexiest girls i've seen. those legs!

    • thepikeypio

      hell everything for that matter is sexy about this girl.

      • shaka

        and her room is clean!!!!

    • http://www.facebook.com/wgrichardson William Richardson

      Agreed.

    • ilovethechive

      Not just the legs my friend….total package!

      • thepikeypio

        ture my friend but legs lead to ass which in her case is probably perfect to. this is just all around one sexy female!

    • Truth

      Suddenly, I have the urge to eat out tonight.

    • MikeK

      Damn! Find Her! and MOAR!!!

    • BOBBY SINCLAIR

      I want to go to there

    • quasipickle

      No duck face either! Extra points for that.

    • http://www.facebook.com/chuddleston Christopher Huddleston

      Amen to that. MOAR!!!!! NOW!

    • Carlton Fisk

      Props for cleaning her room too.

      • AssDoc

        Let us hope that she clean her ass just as well, eh?

  • Royce

    #6 Congratulations, and Chive on!

    • Yehhhh

      Chivers gonna Chive.

    • Wrong

      That baby was born on Reddit first.

      • Bluto

        You win the internet today.

    • Steven

      We'll be seeing her again in 18 years…

      • http://www.facebook.com/mrabot Marla Belle Rabot

        TheChive should start selling babyChive clothes =D.

  • jason

    #28
    Things I would do in that bedrooom:

    • sully23

      premature ejaculate?

      • Jester

        The was funny dude…..really.

        But seriously, who gives a fuck that this is Lauren's bedroom. Actually, it is a little creepy/stalker-ish

        • Wheely

          Look closer, quite upsetting.

        • http://twitter.com/soy_LG @soy_LG

          Paula must have snuck in there when I was showering. She's stealthy like that. πŸ˜‰

          • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

            Honeyyyy!!!! You're back!

            Major missed-you-hug,
            Paula
            – the one you love to hate

          • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

            Oh and yes I did. I sent the shower pics to John who will be posting a special 'drop dead sexy charming witty smart & funny Chivettes' gallery. Featuring only you of course ❀

            Hugs,
            Paula
            – the one you love to hate

          • caleb

            Lauren, don't tell me that Paula could be you….I don't think my heart could handle it.

            • http://twitter.com/soy_LG @soy_LG

              I swear it really isn't – she's just a baller Chiver with an endless supply of awesome comments! Wish I knew her personally myself!

        • who cares

          agree…no one gives a fuck what her bedroom looks like.

      • SweetAwesomeness

        mirrors on the ceiling

    • isawoj

      I would destroy her bathroom.

      • http://twitter.com/soy_LG @soy_LG

        The position is already taken by my man. Ever seen the 'more crap' South Park episode? That was made because of him. πŸ˜‰

        • isawoj

          Ha! I was thinking more of a Dumb and Dumber scene. πŸ˜‰

          • http://twitter.com/soy_LG @soy_LG

            YES! That works even better! πŸ™‚

    • @bunkerpunkk

      get arrested for trespassing.

    • equalizermax

      She do like monkeys

    • jeff

      yeah who the fuck cares about her bedroom, im over these chicks thinking they are gods gift.

      • Truth

        When did she ever claim to be God's gift? Really, LG is one of the most down-to-earth girls on here. Quit being a dick because your life sucks.

        • Cris

          It's hard to say a girl is down to earth when she spends most of her free time taking photos of herself and her bedroom and submitting them to a site in hopes of seeking hundreds of guys fawning over her and giving her a much needed ego boost. Plus she kinda looks like a horse. i wish we could see some new beautiful ladies that aren't so obsessed with themselves.

          • Umadbro?

            She's a model… that's what they do for a living. If you want to see some new beautiful ladies who "aren't so obsessed" with themselves, get off the fucking internet and go to a beach.

            • http://twitter.com/soy_LG @soy_LG

              I'm not a model. I work for the Coast Guard and I take occasional pictures. I am obsessed with many things (chocolate, the beach, fart jokes, etc.) but DEFINITELY not with myself. Just because I'm comfortable with taking pictures doesn't mean I'm in love with myself buddy. πŸ˜‰

              • sam

                So Lauren you are saying you didn't submit over 20 photos of your ass in little panties and you half naked because you didn't want some attention? Its fine to enjoy the compliments but lets not kid ourselves!

                • Huh?

                  This is a website mainly catering to guys, she knows that and was a good sport in submitting some photos of herself. What's your point again?

                  • Lotus

                    I've never found Lauren as charming as most of the commenters, I know she is a nice person but she really comes off as full of herself.

                    Either way, she seems to have the Chive by the balls because they post at least 2 pictures of her a day.

                    • Just Curious

                      That would almost be implying that you find me a more charming commenter, which 1. made me let out a rather prominent guffaw and 2. when you say most commenters here, are you talking about the creepy commenters who post weird/immature remarks or about the assholes who rip on the girls who entertain the rest of us here?

                    • Lotus

                      I'm sorry for the confusion, I was trying to say that most of the commenters find Lauren very charming and I do not. Don't worry, I hate most the commenters on this site as much as the next guy. In particular comments like: "MOAR!!1", "I LUBS DA CHIVE", and the awful ones that just post the picture again.

                      You may be pleased to know that your comment gave me a good chuckle in turn.

                    • BOFIF

                      agreed.

                    • http://twitter.com/soy_LG @soy_LG

                      I'm sorry that you feel that way but it couldn't be farther from the truth.

                      With that said…theChive asks me for photos and I take them. I submit, and they use them. There are no balls being grabbed – just assisting with their wants and needs for fun and because I adore the Chive staff and this site.

                    • Lotus

                      Well if nothing else you are classy.

                • http://twitter.com/soy_LG @soy_LG

                  Actually, no. I submit randomly, they post them whenever, and it's not because I want or need attention but because I love the female body, am a bit of a nudist, and it's my way to let loose after a long day at work and a long day of school work. It's fun and there's nothing more to it than that. …Not everything has to be for a malicious or egotistical reason. I don't have very many 'fun' outlets and this happens to be one of them. I'm a playful girl and that's pretty much that!

                  • Rick

                    You owe no one an explanation. Do what makes you happy. If what you do makes others happy, then that qualifies as a 'win.' Stay beautiful, doll, inside and out!

          • b-ry

            if i could thumb this up a hundered times, i would.

            • b-ry

              not me ^

            • b-ry

              i'm getting myself changed to a b-rella :*

          • Phondo

            you're right, she does have a face like a horse. her and dylan. lol.

            • http://twitter.com/soy_LG @soy_LG

              Well if Dylan and I are horses then you're the undigested hay pieces in our piles of horse shit that's used in the manure that you're mother and father forage from. πŸ˜‰

              I'll take being a horse ANY DAY!

              • : )

                Ever been so mad you misspelled "your?"

                • http://twitter.com/soy_LG @soy_LG

                  Ever been so lame that you played "Captain Correction" and used a punctuation mark in the wrong place?

                  πŸ˜‰

                  • : )

                    I am always that lame and, damn, you – for once – got me on grammar usage. First you schooled me in Spanish, now in English. Fuck that stings.

                  • snoobs89

                    i'll go grab some water because that was a buuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrnnnn!

                  • anonymous

                    hahahahahahaha! nice.

              • Phondo

                sooo..you want to eat me? sorry, i don't have relations with anything outside my species.

              • Darth Neegro

                So, you want him inside you?

              • Phondo

                wow, you don't even know me, and you want me inside you. what a ho.

          • Umadbro?

            Ok, so don't go to the beach then, because she might be there.

        • Tucker

          i agree with cris and jeff, shes not hot and i don't care where she sleeps.

          • Hmmm

            I agree with the rest of the Chive, she's smoking hot and has a great sense of humor about it all, including douchebags who have no life and come here hating on her.

            • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

              Hear Hear. Lauren's a ❀

              Hugs,
              Paula
              – the one you love to hate

            • Raunchy The 1st

              yeah, they're so much worse than the douchebags who ride in on their internet-stallions to valiantly defend her and have no life so come here to fap to her, amirite?

              • Hmmm

                She, is a good sport and adds entertainment to the site. You, are an asshole.

                Hmmm, which do I value more?

                • Raunchy The 1st

                  white knight, white knight, na-na-na-na-na-nahhh.

        • CAMO4eva

          SUCK UP ALERT

      • http://twitter.com/soy_LG @soy_LG

        I didn't submit that picture. Stop thinking your onto something when you're not. πŸ˜‰

        • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

          Me neither. So who then… Jealous ex? xXbeermonkeyXx?

          Hugs,
          Paula
          – the one you love to hate

    • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

      Things I DID in that bedroom:
      …. none of your fucking business.

      Hugs,
      Paula
      – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
      — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

      • Cyphon

        the picture on the dresser sure does look like Paula'a avatar

        • Observation

          YOU DON'T SAY!

    • Kaldar

      Until the cops show up and find you tied up and gag-balled

    • Mr_Rob

      I would start by jumping on the bed…

    • http://twitter.com/erinwillett @erinwillett

      She loves the chive SO much, she has Paula's picture on her dresser…

      • Kaldar

        Wait… that's not the picture of a monkey?

      • tanner

        Erin, you're my favorite

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        Oh. Here I was thinking she loves ME so much she followed me to the Chive…

        Hugs,
        Paula
        – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
        — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

      • tanner

        Often times I smear my jizz on my chest while moaning your name. Chive on!

        • tsk

          dude…

          • tanner

            What? Just showing my Chive spirit…

    • DrGarnicus

      Try out that air purifier. . .giggity!

    • Truth

      Take a nap

    • Sagdiev

      Replace Paula picture with a coloreful television, number one best in my country!

    • Question

      So what happens when the Chive webcam is turned on in there at night?

    • Truth

      Nice bedroom, but it would look better with me in it.

    • Heartbroke

      Say it is not so LG. Please tell me you are not this hideous troll.

      • http://twitter.com/soy_LG @soy_LG

        I'm not! paula snuck in there and submitted to theChive methinks. πŸ˜‰
        Sneaky little cave dweller!

        • Yawn

          Nor is that really her bedroom.

          • http://twitter.com/soy_LG @soy_LG

            No, no. That's really my bedroom.

            • Curious_One

              So Paula is a chive staff…. isn't he?

              • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

                No, no. It's also my bedroom. Lauren just doesn't know.

                Hugs,
                Paula
                – the one you love to hate

    • max

      poop on the sheets

    • Looks Nice

      Put up some crown molding.

    • Jimbozo

      Einhorn is Finkle….Finkle is Einorn.

    • Tomas

      I figured it out quite some time ago that Paula = L.G. πŸ˜‰

      • Peter F

        Except it isn't. Back to the drawing board.

      • http://twitter.com/soy_LG @soy_LG

        I promise you I'm not. I find her hilarious but I am not that creative, I promise!

        • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

          Aw c'mon, let's come out of the closet together as one, shall we? πŸ˜‰

          Hugs,
          Paula
          – the one you love to hate

        • Harry Balzack

          But he's not a her……

    • b-ry

      a real chiver would re-decorate it and throw a rave party(san-francisco style).

      • b-ry

        not me…again. ^

      • b-ry

        still waiting for the sex change. :*

    • Robert Plant

      "that's all"? that's chive worthy? some horse-faced chick's bedroom? bunch of faggots.

      • tralfaz

        Robert Plant likes to say faggots.

    • OwnerOfYou

      It's pretty sad that I know most of that stuff is from IKEA…

      • http://twitter.com/soy_LG @soy_LG

        The lamps, curtains, and plant. That's about it. We didn't want to get a bed there and then wake up in a pile of broken wood the next morning!

        • None

          I wake up with wood every morning, it's really not so bad.

        • Rahm Emanuel

          People People in the words of one Rodney King, ' Can't we all just get along?" I mean the facts are she is hot, and she appears to be cool (don't know her at all), and if she wasn't cool with her body and taking the pictures what the fuck would we do at work? Actually work? I say she has a clean room and smoking hot body what is not to like? If she is a horse I want to be a jockey!

        • http://www.gfys.org/ ufailinlife

          So this is the room where the chive staff get their jollies up for free in return for posting ur pics.
          You are NOT better than the other whores who submit their semi naked pics ,you are just delusional and have a lot of free time to comment.
          Fine its ur life do watevr the fuck u want bt atlst accept the truth. Its really sad that just bcoz the losers here support u coz they hardly get any women to talk to u think u r the dogs bollocks here. Wake up and smell the coffee instead of cum.

          • ...

            gross dude … y u have soo much hate?

    • keith

      Just a note, I like the hard wood floors. It's a nice bedroom. I also like that lamp in the corner. The tree in the corner isn't my cup of tea but otherwise the room has a nice feng shui.

    • snowbird

      the chivers are so sad, even the sight of a girl's room is enough for them flip their lid.

    • http://twitter.com/The_Scofield_ @The_Scofield_

      You know what's weird to me? Paula has gotten multiple thumbs up in this reply post. The fuck?

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        I know! That's pretty bad for my karma.

        Hugs,
        Paula
        – the one you love to hate

    • http://www.facebook.com/Luispedrosato Luis Pedro Gonçalves

      sleep

    • http://www.thechive.com DistractedIndividual

      Style wise, I think it's cute. Nicely decorated with out being cluttered. Of course the pic of Paula really completes the room…

    • Graham

      ONE HUNDRED AND SECOND! (To reply to this post)

  • Royce

    #15 that squirrel has had some nuts in his day…

    • Truth

      That's a huge bitch!

    • Nick

      Although, I don't think he's seen his own nuts in a while.

    • Just Thinking

      Are there any chubby chasing squirrels out there?

    • bollyver

      It's not my fault that bird seed is high in saturated fat!!

    • RGH

      ha ha

      nice

    • joe

      'Merican squirrel

  • Intensemasterdebater

    #6 The Circle of theChive Congrats on the new Chiver

    • panama99

      What a beautiful little girl……

  • disturbed

    #2 Hover hips

    • Bill Clinton

      giggidty

    • hugepens

      Find her! She is cute!!

  • forrester

    #49

    Just when I was thinking there wasn't a ton of ass in today's DAR, the Chive drops the hammer

    • Lowrent75

      Pretty sure something melted…somewhere.

      • Truth

        My hand, from friction.

        • spence

          HAHAHAHA! holy crap, that cracked me up.

      • http://twitter.com/YWordArmy @YWordArmy

        I am so sad it took 8 comments to get here.

    • Kawz

      I like to assume this is what always happens when attractive women are together.

      • God

        It does.

        • DrROBOTO

          I hope…

    • jdust

      The Chive……..fueling the FAP since 2008! Epic!

    • Zelly

      this isn't where I parked my car

    • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

      OK girls, well done. Now cheer with your hands in the air, give yourselves a big round of applause and be sure to mail an animated .gif of that to the Chive. TIA!

      Hugs,
      Paula
      – the one you love to hate

      • spence

        Isn't is sad that you are so hideous that nobody would ever FAP to a picture of you? 😦

        • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

          Apparently Lauren does, see the lengthy thread above.
          And that's enough for me btw ❀

          Hugs,
          Paula
          – the one you love to hate

    • ZachBob

      there's no ass in that pic, though. just covered boobies.

    • Bluto

      Silicone parts are made for toys!

    • http://twitter.com/BigMattZeus Zeus

      I see nipple!… Actually my girlfriend saw nipple and pointed it out to me. Chive on!

    • Cool Matt

      Following

  • Kodos

    #49
    Greatness
    #6
    see you in 18 yrs
    #23 #24
    feeling very Smurfy now…

    • Truth

      Katy Perry in Denver tonight. Wish I had a ticket, even if I did have to sit next to a bunch of acne faced 13-year-olds just to get a glimpse of her "talents!"

      • Unreality

        chivers are so sad they'd buy a ticket just to look at a fully clothed chick's tits and ass.

    • ROK247

      i would smurf the hell outta that

    • Tim

      Nice comment on #6… Youre Fucking gross and i hope you end up in hell, Fucking pedophile.

      • tongystunter

        he said 18…

  • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

    This is just to let Peter F. know he's a bit of an asshole; he DID pay up the 75 bucks he lost to me yesterday (see yesterdays DAR)… but… IN COINS.
    WTF can you do with a bag with 75 bucks in coins? Not so awesome Peter. Will use it for the movie on friday though.

    Hugs,
    Paula
    – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
    — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

    • ilovethechive

      I'm pretty sure no one gives a shit!

    • greasdupdeafguy

      could you quit hugging us? It's really gross and awkward!

    • Solved

      Paula is LG's boyfriend, all the more reason to hate him/her. What do I win?

      • http://twitter.com/soy_LG @soy_LG

        Definitely not. My boyfriend doesn't really go on theChive much but I honestly don't even know who Paula is myself. She's just a stealthy hilarious little troll. πŸ™‚

        • Not Much To Offer

          He "doesn't really go on theChive much?" Dump the hero and go with a zero… me! I am ready to disappoint you.

        • JohnQ

          LG it would be awesome if your bf participated too and made some comments from time to time. just sayin' πŸ˜€

          • Harry Balzack

            NooOOoOOoOOoooOOOOOooooo

    • Akiba

      Owned

    • DrGarnicus

      75 bucks in coins? Aren't there loads of toll bridges on the east coast? Road trip!!!

      • Bluto

        *troll bridges – fixed.

    • http://www.thechive.com DistractedIndividual

      Could always become the next meter fairy and go around town paying everyone's parking meters
      πŸ™‚ Might get you some good juju.

      • DrROBOTO

        sum1 put em in a bag and then beat her with it

        • Master_Rahl

          I'm with ROBOTO – my thoughts almost exactly. Get all $75 bucks worth of change in a sack, pull a Full Metal Jacket & beat the BAG out of him. (oh and I mean Peter F). Who pays off debts with frickin' coins???

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        Loved the meter fairy… One of their best acts…

        Hugs,
        Paula
        – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
        — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

        • Blowies?

          What are their other acts?

          • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

            Never seen Jackass then?

            Hugs,
            Paula
            – the one you love to hate

            • http://www.thechive.com DistractedIndividual

              Good job noticing the Jackass reference. I've always wanted to go around and do that:) Would be a fun day of harassing the meter maids and helping people avoid tickets:)

    • Johnny Two Toes

      Take said coins to bank, exchange for dollars. Tough one to figure out there.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1263181685 Ross Kalmbach

      We could fuck to settle the bet, but how the other Chivers are talking I would rather pitch if it is ok with you.

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1263181685 Ross Kalmbach

        Fuck I missed Paula, oh well as long it is for the Chive…

        • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

          Good to know at least someone is missing me…
          Wait…
          Or were you the one shooting at me just now? Bad form!

          Hugs,
          Paula
          – the one you love to hate

          • Joey

            ?????can we get a gif of someone shitting on ur face sometime soon????

  • xXbeermonkeyXx

    #28 Paula_!!!! you bastard, your bombing the room!

    • isawoj

      Things just got intereting

      • Billy

        Trolling just got pushed to the next level. Suckers…………………….

    • Spank the Monkey

      Which ones the naughty drawer?

      • http://twitter.com/soy_LG @soy_LG

        The top right. πŸ™‚

        • Spank the Monkey

          Nice. Now which one has your feed-bag?

          • Dad

            Your mom is my feedbag cause I be eating her up like waffles and asking for seconds.

            • Foosbah

              a "your mom" joke. that's new. =/

              • None

                A sarcastic comment about "mom jokes" which adds no comedic value to the conversation. That's new! πŸ˜‰

                • Foosbah

                  i know right? 'cause mom jokes were the height of the comedic cutting edge back in the 60s amongst school children. how could i even hope to approach such a high standard?
                  yeah yeah, you take my original comment and more or less invert it back to me. what's next? "know how i know you're gay?" i'll save the time with the response "cause you thought my dick tasted like shit".

                • Darth Neegro

                  A comment based off of someone else's comment meant to insult the original poster. That's new! 😑

                  • snowbird

                    agreed. why do white people on the internet think that's so damn clever? it's pretty much "i know you are, but what am i?".

          • TRON

            LOL WIN!

          • Kelso

            damn! someone get Lauren some ice for that sick burn!

          • Darth Neegro

            Lauren got pwned.

            • None

              nah, she got raped with no lube.

              • Niggher Beater

                Phondo burned that ho. lol!

          • http://twitter.com/soy_LG @soy_LG

            Each drawer does actually – I like to stay healthy and you never know when a craving is going to hit!

            The real question is, when are you going to remove the dick from your mouth? It seems to be impending your sense of logic. πŸ™‚

            • Freddy Mercury

              i'm guessing as soon as you take it out of your ass.

              • http://twitter.com/soy_LG @soy_LG

                Nah, the heresy highway is not for me.

                • Freddy Mercury

                  fine, i'll take my 3 inches else where.

            • Spank the Monkey

              What's so illogical about that? I want to make sure you have a nice healthy coat for your next "ride". Lulz.

            • Spank the Monkey

              Oh, and implying homosexuality as an insult. How progressive(not to mention charming).

              • http://twitter.com/soy_LG @soy_LG

                You are quite mistaken. And a person calling a female a 'horse' calling another un-charming or anti-progressive? Let's talk about freedom of female sexuality and male bigotry for a second here…if you really want to go that route. πŸ˜‰

                Nothing wrong at all with homosexuality, just stating the fact that all of the sexual favors that you have been doing for people (your name is "Spank the Monkey" is it not?) is corroding that little brain of yours. But it's okay. You think I'm offended, and I enjoy the banter, so playing this game is more comedic than anything else.

                We both obviously don't give a shit with what the other says, so it's good to know that talking in circles happens in the online world as well. πŸ™‚

                • Spank the Monkey

                  Not the same thing. If I'd implied women were "nothing but anthropomorphic barn animals. The lot of them", then you'd have something. You, my dear, by no means bear the standard for all women everywhere.

                  "Nothing wrong at all with homosexuality". Lauren, let's not bullshit here. You know full well you wouldn't have implied I had sex with women as a means insult me(e.g. putting it on an even keel with homosexuality). Nice try.

                  • Sigh

                    Lame troll using a bunch of different names to get attention is lame.

                  • http://twitter.com/soy_LG @soy_LG

                    Glad you got the point. So with that said…likewise…if I said that "all men that have a dick in their mouth are illogical and bad and senseless" then that would mean that I probably had issues with homosexuality, which I did not say nor did I even imply. You called me "a horse" (which may be pretty damn funny) not the general female population, meaning that you are not a bigot in the same way that I am not a homophobe. If you used your own logic, you'd see that your accusations against me are absolutely ungrounded. Cheers, Spank!

                    (And chill with the multiple comments under different names. You know comments have IP addresses attached to them, right?)

                    • Spank the Monkey

                      Not quite. The lychpin of your retort was implying I was gay and that(in this case "having a dick in your mouth") was detrimental. While mine was that you were long in the face. If anything, you could make the case I'm none-too fond of women with a particular face shape(as you conceivably did with men of a certain sexual-tendency). And being our intent was insult each other, the notion is none too abstracted.

                      (It's early morning on a weekday in my dorm. What else is there for us to do to pass the time?)

                    • Spank the Monkey

                      In short: You know full well you wouldn't have implied I got copious amounts of pussy('cause that wouldn't, in most people's minds, be very insulting).

                    • Spank the Monkey

                      and for the record I do love cocks πŸ˜‰

                    • http://www.thechive.com DistractedIndividual

                      Cool story, might want to share that with your mama since it is apparent that you have mommy issues. πŸ˜€

                    • rodan303

                      I'm thinking Daddy issues, just based on all the references to dicks and cocks. But, homeslice still needs some aloe for that burn. Well played, chica.

            • Bobby Ferrando

              aww girl. i was with until you went with the homophobia. not cool.

              • Bobby Ferrando

                *with you*

              • http://twitter.com/soy_LG @soy_LG

                I'm not homophobic! You have got to be kidding me! There's nothing wrong with a guy who has a dick in his mouth by any means (if that's what he's into). I was simply implying that this particular guy has had so much action that it's screwing with his brain. Bad for him, not for homosexuality.

                • Bobby Ferrando

                  but why gay sex? surely you meant to insult him….?

                • shaka

                  Wait just a minute! there is a world of shit wrong with a guy having a dick in his mouth!! it is not homophobic, that would imply fear, and I am not afraid of any homo, but it is not right, it is wrong and quite disgusting!! Unless it is hot chicks, then that's fine! πŸ˜€

            • Phondo

              "remove the dick from your mouth? It seems to be impending your sense of logic"

              considering what a ho you are, you must be as logical as a bucket made of paper.

              • http://twitter.com/soy_LG @soy_LG

                I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years, love him dearly, and have only had 2 other relationships before that (one lasting 5 years and the other 2 years). The ho thing doesn't phase me, sorry.

                • Anonymous

                  Don't let the haters get to you. Smile! πŸ™‚

                  • http://twitter.com/soy_LG @soy_LG

                    Aw! Thanks for the comment! They actually really don't phase me (though I'm sure they think that my replying means that I 'care') but I actually kinda' enjoy the banter. My work day is pretty packed and my school work is mundane, so the bickering is creative and funny at times. I know that what they're saying is bullshit because I know who I am and I have never dealt with any of this stuff in the offline world, so it's more for amusement than anything else. πŸ˜‰

                • Phondo

                  oh, i see. but you find gay sex downright offesnsive enough to use as an insult. and don't try to act like you weren't 'cause then you could've just said something about him being "a copius muff-eater". i agree with Bobby Ferrando. bad form.

                  • http://twitter.com/soy_LG @soy_LG

                    And so it's been confirmed! Same IP, same person (Spank the Monkey is Phondo and Bobby Fernando and Freddy Mercury).

                    I've already explained what I said and if you can't read what I wrote to you under your name of 'Spank the Monkey' then that's not my fault. You're not getting anywhere, you are just as wrong attacking me as I am for attacking you, and that's all there is to it. Bad form from one begets bad form from another I guess.

                    • Ateka

                      I gotta say you shouldn't be biting the bait, but you're doing pretty well actually!

                      Don't feel so bad about the supposedly homophobic comment either, that troll is probably the first to call people "gay" left and right as a matter of insult. Just move along πŸ™‚

                    • Spank the Monkey

                      Don't be silly. I'm an entirely different class of troll.

                    • Spank the Monkey

                      To be clear, a troll that likes it up my ass πŸ˜‰

                    • Trollersk8s

                      Dude, your troll level is barely amateur, from one to another. Stay classy πŸ˜‰

                    • JstevensF

                      Impressed with LG's intellect. Not just a pretty face but bloody smart and thick skinned enough to come out fighting unintelligent trolls. This is why Paula is the house troll, others aren't welcome here, she doesn't mix well with other trolls.

                    • b-ry

                      i think it's lame that YOU can get IP addresses from the Chive but no one else can, just because you are who you are or did they give you access to that?

                      bad play Chive.

                    • Ehhh

                      I gotta admit, that definitely seems like a cheap-shot, especially considering it was already pretty obvious it was the same person. I wonder if Chive looks up my IP when I troll. That kind of takes the fun out of it :p

                • http://www.gfys.org/ foodforthought

                  Am not spankthemonkey/phondo etc ,get it checked by your sugar daddy at chive so here me out now. Saying that you are in a relationship so you cant be a ho is stupid ,if you are so satisfied and love him dearly then stop taking pics in ur panties and uploading them on the internet ,you know that guys use them to fap right ? Please dont say no or try to argue on this fact coz you know the that's the truth !
                  Its obvious that you like the attention of other guys so stop kidding urself LG.

                  • JohnAtell

                    You're ignorance is baffling. You interpretation of her comment, and the English language as well, is laughable.

                    To be clear, she was stating that she is not a promiscuous girl, as she has only been in three relationships in the last decade, all long term and serious. I can only assume she has been faithful, and can't say if she's had any flings; but considering the crop of girls available in North America today, that's top quality.

                    Secondly, she models. TheChive is a great outlet for her to expand her career and is probably the best site on earth, so she invests her time and talent. She is not doing pornography. She is a model; are all models 'hos'?

                    If you choose to 'fap' to her, it's only because she's a beautiful woman. Relax on the hatred.

                    • http://www.thechive.com DistractedIndividual

                      Well said:) Cheers!

  • equalizermax

    #2 – FIND HER!

    • Yehhhh

      Or not, that would be cool too.

    • Paul

      Her name is Kiki, she's from Wichita, KS. She's a friend of mine's sister. =)

    • Paul

      Her name is Kiki. She's a friend of mine's sister from Wichita, KS.

      • Sappercrg

        blade

    • MonkeyMadness

      Why does everyone say "Find her!"??? You wouldn't know what to do with her if you found her.

  • Royce

    #45 They're hipsters aren't they…

    • Truth

      Eurpoeans and Hipsters are often hard to tell apart.

      • Dromichaete

        …mainly illiterate douches seem to have that issue…

        • Umadbro?

          Umadbro?

        • Hmmm

          Apparently this European also has no sense of humor.

          • Obviously

            Obviously.

            • Obviously.

              1. You stole that from me.
              2. It only works when the word "obviously" is used in the comment.

              • Obviously.

                Obviously.

    • BelowHeavens

      Looks more like 40-50yr old used to be and trying to connect back to their roots hippies

    • Noooo

      Yuppies, not hipsters

  • thepikeypio

    #45 i hate these things there like ants of the road me and my jeep would have to run them over on accident..

    • Master_Rahl

      yeah, but then they get all stuck in your grill. what a nuisance.

    • Dimitris

      You know what they say. Big car, small dick….

      • Hmmm

        Only people with small dicks say that.

        • b-ry

          so, only people with big cars?

          • Hmmm

            No, just people with small dicks.

      • thepikeypio

        yeah there's that, but it could also mean that i have hobbies and like to do shit, like camping, hiking, snowboarding, wakeboarding etc. you know thing that require something more then a toy car.

        • Bazinga

          Apparently you don't do anything from the above. There is no need to own a Jeep in order to have these hobbies.

          • thepikeypio

            yeah cause you smart, because your right when i drive through mountain trails to get to where i hike and camp i don't need a 4 wheel drive vehicle to get there? or when im in Colorado or North Carolina in a couple feet of snow, a two wheel drive low to the ground car will get me there? and when im pulling my boat to the lake to go wakeboarding that little ass smart car will for sure get me there you fucking idiot!

            • thepikeypio

              so further more you can take your stupid ass comments, and your lack of knowing how to do anything else beside sitting in your house jacking off to the chive pictures cause you cant get laid, and go blow your smoke up someone else's ass.

              • Chris

                Dude, totally agree with you, Jeep owner myself and I love how the pinko lefto liberals all whine and moan about 4WD's. I too scuba dive, rock climb and hunt, in W.A, AU, and the best places you need a 4wd to get there, and then haul some townie's arse out of the crap they got their Soft Roader stuck in.
                So yeah, bash us all you want to Bazinga, but you sit their tossing off to your dreams, while we go an live ours.

                • andy

                  the peekypecker guy is awful mad for some reason…

                  anyway…. taking his and her cars to a whole 'nother level? hers and hers?

                  • thepikeypio

                    not mad just annoyed that someone who apparently doesn't know anything outside being a negative ass would even comment on something they obviously know nothing about. but your right about the hers and hers thing.

                • Guest Commenter

                  Just like one of you Bible thumping no idea what communism actually is conservatives to over generalize liberals. 4WD owning, hunting, camping, liberal who absolutely agrees that a 4WD vehicle is essential (preferrably a jeep) for the lifestyle

                  -and yes, just in case, my gross generalization was tongue in cheek

            • http://www.thechive.com DistractedIndividual

              Coloradan here, I agree with you. I currently have a little 6banger Saturn. I miss my jeep all the time for camping, getting through winter in one piece and snowboarding. Don't get me wrong, I know how to drive my car in the snow and made it to work every single snow day this last winter, but 4wd makes life immensely easier here.

              • thepikeypio

                what part? and that's all i was saying my jeep lets me do the things i do with no problems. Some cars will make it if you know how to dive, but sometimes a 4wd is just required.

        • caleb

          "than"

    • caleb

      There? there? You lose all credibility when your grammar is completely dog-shit. In-bred shit- head, go choke on a meaty dick.

      • thepikeypio

        you mean -complete-. and your cool man, i actually lose no credibility because im pretty sure i still got my point across even though i might have misspelled a word, or worded a sentence incorrectly. and in-bred? really? what do you even mean by that i said nothing that would even lead you to that stereotype smart guy.

        • caleb

          Nope, completely is correct. As in, no change will occur on your grammar. Just reading your nonsense has led me to believe that you maybe made it through college. Good for you.

          Jeep? To each their own I guess. Not everyone can make a good choice on 4x4s. I had one when I was 18 or so, a stage that most kids go through. Sorry about your inbreeding.

          • thepikeypio

            oook man, sry mi gramir isnt up to ur standerds and you in fact ur probly tha in bred redneck cents u just had to make a coment about 4×4's like a truck or somthin wud be beter which of corse is rong, and hve fun corecting people cause it makes u fel beter and its all u have in ur pethic liife

            • caleb

              Wrong again. If you would have read at the beginning of my first message I merely meant that your comment could have stood solid ground if you possessed your grade 8 English. Oh wait, probably a history or art major….sorry sir, here's a dollar, go buy a coffee or a paint brush or something.

              • thepikeypio

                haha well there you have it, i was indeed an art major so we can now discontinue this nonsense buddy.

                • thepikeypio

                  trust me im not arguing with you man i know my english written grammar sucks, but it really doesn't bother me, because well hell i dont use it to make my living so it really shouldn't bother you that much either.

                  • Jen

                    TITTIES!

              • http://www.thechive.com DistractedIndividual

                Bashing on artists is a low blow, even for a troll. This world would be a much lesser place with out artists. Shame on you-:@

  • stanford

    #25

    ULTIMATE RECOGNITION

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=545403343 Ryan White

      was so fuckin' stoked when I saw they put this up there. theChive is awesome

      • Spt

        +1

    • Shalom

      You never do that for my comments, fuckers.

  • Jester

    #8 and #49 and I'll call it a day.

    • Truth

      Or here's a cool idea. Get off the internet and go talk to some girls in real life. Weird concept, I know.

      • WTF Truth?

        Dude you seem like an asshole

    • Lotus

      #8 is nice but really has no place in the DAR.

  • thepikeypio

    #49 this is tits!

    • Lowrent75

      No..yours are better. No YOURS are Better…No YOURS ARE BETTER.

    • Truth

      I wish I had many hands, like Vishnu. I know just what I'd do.

    • Stone

      Emma Glover has the most beautiful boobs ever.

  • Kodos

    #45
    I'm always looking for the key to wind them up…

  • http://www.isexy.com iSexyDude

    #24 I'm sure heaven is a place with a lot of wind and packed with girls wearing light dresses.

    • Truth

      Alas, an eternity of nothing is what you actually have to look forward to. Cheers!

  • jakubwrobel

    #49 – I agree.

    • Truth

      Cool story bro.

  • BulletproofMonk

    Have you ever been so drunk that you #39

    • atm

      who hasn't?

    • Z_b

    • Truth

      became coffee?

    • Truth

      had your face turn into Styrofoam?

    • Truth

      poured soda into an opening on top of your head to have it come out of your mouth?

    • Truth

      cried while throwing up coca cola?

  • http://thechive.com ontherun1989

    #16 Those damn jeffries. #28 When are visiting hours?

    • Jenkins

      You are so not going to get it up in that room, look again. It;s cursed!

    • Birdhaus32

      When the world slips you a Jeffrey, stroke the furry wall

    • Yeah

      I like how your comment was creepy.

    • ???

      Anyone know the original phrase that started it all? Was it Keep Calm and Sail On or Keep Calm and Carry On

  • thepikeypio

    #18 stella is good shit.

    • Johnny Two Toes

      Needed milk, so picked up 30 nasty beers and 24 ok beers.

      • thepikeypio

        hey i cant speak for the piss in the red box but stella is prob the best they had at the grocery store man.

        • Johnny Two Toes

          I'll give you that, definitely not good, but might be the best they had. Tecate is like satan in a can.

    • http://www.youtube.com/user/ADHDavenger13?feature=mhsn Firefighter23

      whoa whoa whoa! You can buy beer and milk in the same place?! What witchcraft is this?! Oh wait I'm from Pennsylvania, that's why this doesn't make sense.

    • Sure

      Makes perfect sense. One comes out of boobs, and one makes you want to motorboat boobs.

    • anonymous

      Well, you got the milk didn't you? I don't see the problem.

    • CapnMFingPlanet

      Hellboy doesnt always drink beer, but when his girlfriend dumps him he drinks Tecate

  • equalizermax

    #9 There is Waldo!

    • Wrong

      No.

    • Salute my shorts

      Maybe Waldo's retarded brother Jim. No one ever wonders where Jim is, he's always in his cardboard birdhouse.

      • Bluto

        I laughed way too hard at this.

  • ilovethechive

    #49 just broke the internet

    • ilovethechive

      From Left to Right: Rhian Sugden, Rosie Jones, Holly Peers and Emma Glover

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