Daily Afternoon Randomness (39 HQ Photos)

  • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

    FIIIIAAAHHHAAAARRRSSSTTTT of course, easy peasy!!

    I'm still considering coming to the meetup as a mystery Chivette,
    or regular anonymous Chivette,
    or not coming at all…
    What do YOU want, Chivers & Chivettes?

    – also, if I see as much as a single pitchfork I'm gone!

    • Luke

      Please don't come.

    • Patojo

      Be mysterious!!! Love a mysterious woman

      • Wait.. oh yeah.

        Even when she's a man?

    • black27696

      I think most people just want you to go away. It's not really funny anymore, or annoying. It's just kind of boring at this point.

      • Waaaah


      • fuckpaula

        could not agree any more

      • Tits McGee

        this. 100% this.

    • yuri

      come so we can put an end to you

    • Chuck Norris

      go to the meet-up and wear a name badge. Then we can have an HQ post of your beating.

    • NAACP

      Anonymous?!?! Guys, she'll be the 400 lb gorilla with a penis.

    • Chris

      You should show up as Paula, and surprise everyone. Sadly, I won't be making it. Not that anyone cares anyways.

      Chive on Everyone!

      • Wait.. oh yeah.

        You got the part about no one caring right!

        • gocubsgo!

          I care. I will also be unable to attend the meet up in my home city…as I don't make the baller $ like mac the intern 😛
          Safe travels Chive and murder the Chicago night life – the greatest city in the world.
          chive on!

        • blooper

          some people are little men inside… chive on!

    • Hooooooooo DAMN

      First to comment first on this first comment.

      • dub

        2nd tier fail.

    • YUNO

      I only saw like two cute black girls on today's SC. We're working on it, but damn… come on.

      • jtease

        Need MOAR sexy black chicks. Please!

        • YUNO

          Thank you, the people have spoken.

        • ZachBob

          i gave you thumbs up because i totally agree.

    • racerx2112


    • Çreep

      how bout you go outside and play hide and go fuck yourself.

      • graham

        classic youtube video

    • Shawn

      Again Paula, eat a dick, You bore people.

    • paula_

      Well Paula, I'm going. And you've just given me a terrific idea. I'm going in drag with an "I'm Paula" t-shirt.

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        You'd either be very popular or dead…

        – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
        — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21
        – if it's up to the boring asshats above it would be dead

    • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

      Where's Lauren (<3) when you need her?
      I need a hug…

      – the one you love to hate

      • Steamtroller

        Probably hugging another troll. You should really look into that.

    • Coldzilla

      Not at all

      I wont be there but………

      Not at all

    • http://twitter.com/thecureforhope TheCureForHope

      These people are full of shit. They love you and they know it.

    • Sploooge

      I know your secret, Paula.

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        Pfff, which one? In what category? Got too many secrets.

        – got the movie reference?

    • James

      I think paula is lauren or some super obsessed crazy lady/dude.

    • DeathByCherio

      troll bitch

    • Phant0m

      i got a pitch fork and i'm going

    • Da Sandman

      you're a dude, obviously…

  • yuri

    #9 is the kitchen out there too?

    • Oh hey Jokester

      Sweet comment

    • Man

      Yea… get back t us in a few years and lets see the picture then.

    • Irlnick

      Don't get t o use to it, trust me

    • me2

      two girls one mower

    • 6655321

      Bud Light? He's not a keeper. Cheap bastard with no taste.

      • RogerD

        Nah, he just pays to much for his water.

      • vegeta

        that thumb is not from a guys hand…I say lesbos

    • RogerD

      Based on the fence size, she is a Hobbit

    • http://www.facebook.com/christopher.neufeldt Christopher Neufeldt

      C'mon, be a man! Mow the damn lawn yourself you lazy ass!

      • TheBoris

        Yeah, quit being a d-bag. Real men mow their own lawn.

  • yuri

    #31 irina shayk…from my home country 🙂

    • vasya

      Russian chicks are hotter.

      • yuri

        russian, australian, swedish, norweigan, brazilian chicks are hottest. of course with the occasional american, british, or german woman

        • fedya

          Hot chicks are the hottest, though.

          • Stanji

            you tell em!!

    • Luke

      Ah but to live in a country with hot chicks and no running water. *Shitters Full*

    • #387

      Your from Hotpieceofassistan?

    • hhhhhhh

      why don't you go back to russia

      • ojog

        Because your mom is here, and I love getting that sweet Murican pussay.

        • hhhhhhh

          i'm going to russia then, to get your MOM,SITER,AUNT,and NIECE all for an incredible $10.00 dollards. gota love russia

          • ojog

            Or you could use that $10 to buy a dictionary and learn to spell, that might make sense too.

      • yuri

        why dont you pull the dick out of your ass?

  • Luke

    #38, Dam, she can eat crackers in bed.

    • moose

      Then give her a dutch oven

    • Dirty Dingus

      I saw this one and I was like….damn, I love a hot body in a dress like that.

      Then I saw the next photo….Phooof. [mind blown]

    • Chivacy Please

      What – how did you know Crackers was the name of her dog? #39

      • http://twitter.com/valorikx221 @valorikx221


      • AndrewJames

        anyone notice the stripper pole besides me?

        • krisbenson

          Lol that makes the photo so much better!

        • deebo

          not sure if stripper pole….or mirrored door

        • krisbenson

          Tough call… My guess is the door after closer examination 😛

        • Jay

          Nope. I had to go back to view it. Sure enough, there it is.

      • tombloke

        I wondered if anyone else spotted her growler.

    • http://www.thechive.com Lhturbo

      I want!

    • GREG

      screw the klondike bar it is now what would i do for you

    • http://www.facebook.com/Littleslimdude Sam Gray

      I'd do anything for her!

  • max

    careful!!!!!………. Devil's sneezing

    • http://www.facebook.com/codealpha Terry Burke


    • equalizermax


  • Jason

    #6 That's not going to end well

    • Çreep

      hes a douch! only one in the pic not wearing a helmet he deserves to eat shit

      • Çreep


        • YUNO

          No one deserves that, asshole.

          • Çreep

            someone with guards on his side panels so he dont fuck up his bike and doesnt wear a helmet to protect his melon= douche all day long. maybe he can get a gold grill to match his super cool bracelet. DICKHOLE!.

            • gocubsgo!

              Haters be hating.

    • ATF

      About to fail.

    • drew

      Well there's your problem.

      • gocubsgo!

        I see what you did there Drew and I like it.

    • tralfaz

      That's OK he has his helmet, oh, not good

    • BadHillbili

      no, no it's not.

    • ely whitley

      SCUMBAG STEVE: borrows your bike "to get those smokes I owe you". fucks it up.

  • Anonymous

    #26 can get it.

  • thepikeypio

    #20 and #26 boom goes the dynamite.

    • Fuck You

      Hey, just wanted to drop by and thank you for your waste of a comment. Fuck you.

      • thepikeypio

        you my friend are extremely welcome.

        • Fuck You

          Fair enough.

    • BRB

      If that's what #20 dresses like when the AC is broken, I would make sure it never works.

  • Jason

    or that #36

  • max

    #1 devil sneezing

    • DrROBOTO

      #1 me after seeing

    • YUNO

      Yeah, we got that earlier and it wasn't funny then either.

  • Nick_FTW

    Early DAR, what a great way to start the weekend, #26 "so hot, want to touch the hiney"

    • Stanji

      #26 right? looks like im goin to chicago
      and also #31 because…come on

    • Master_Rahl

      right on, Nick! I keep grabbing my monitor… no fun.

    • gocubsgo!

      No I will not make out with you. Did ya hear that? this girl wants to make out with me in the middle of class. You got Chlorophyll Man up there talking about God knows what and all she can talk about is making out with me. I'm here to learn, everybody, not to make out with you. Go on with the chlorophyll.

      • Nick_FTW

        Shampoo is better. I go on first and clean the hair. Conditioner is better. I leave the hair silky and smooth. Oh, really, fool? Really. Stop looking at me swan.

        Billy Madison is full of epic quotes

        • Cletus

          What about you, sideburns? You want some of this milk?

  • thepikeypio

    #29 fuck that shit!

    • jimminycrickett

      Thats a good one. A 9 footer was killed in a pipeline repair in the panhandle earlier this summer

      • Ken

        panhandle of Florida, right? That looks like an Eastern Diamondback to me. I didn't think they ranged so far west to Texas.

    • http://www.facebook.com/jnielson Joel Nielson

      Gotta love the beer can next to him.

      • thepikeypio

        beers gotta be involved to be messing around whit that thing. ha and its not the size it's the fact that its a rattlesnake, i didn't know they got that big.

        • Country Boy

          They do… Beer AND a 12 gauge are required to even think about getting close to a rattler that big though…

    • graham

      my thought exactly. fuck that

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=514615429 Pat Overton

      Texas rattlesnake? That's not Steve Austin!!B)

    • Ford Prefect

      They don't really get that big. It's a photo trick. You hold the snake, fish, etc. out in front of you on a stick or something so that it appears larger in relation to the size of your body. It's called the "big fish pose" and people have been doing it for years.

      • BG1

        they do that big – especially in TX!

        • Krigeshund

          That they do BG1. I live in Texas. Sucks though, a full snake skin that size would have raked in a couple thousand or more if he hadn't fucked it up.

        • MaynardJames

          I'm not saying that it isn't a big rattlesnake. All I was stating was the fact that the way it is being held and photographed is a trick to make it appear larger.

      • its_forge

        Our Betelgeusian friend is correct. Mister Texas there is holding that fella out on the end of a 3- or 4-foot gig. Which means his balls are about 25% smaller than we thought at first glance. I grew up in Orlando in the late 60s when the only cool thing to do was go to Gatorland and listen to Owen Godwin or one of his offspring lecture about snakes and gators. They used to have the skin of a world-record Eastern Diamondback up on a wall and it was… about six, six and a half feet, give or take. Not that the record couldn't have been broken sometime since then.

        • jeff

          Yeah, set a long lens a good ways off and it compresses the image. Like when it looks like 5 or 6 city blocks are just a few feet long each and contain a jillion people per linear foot.

          • its_forge

            Like baseball games where it looks like the pitcher is standing six inches in front of the batter.

            • ilovethechive

              Why is Brett Favre holding a giant rattlesnake? Shouldnt he be getting ready for the football season?

              • its_forge

                Shouldn't he be gumming grits in some old folks' home and making passes at the nurses?

                • Flicka

                  It's recently illegal to do this in TX with fish, so they had move to snakes.

                  The big ones in Florida are escapees.

    • https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=537213924 Sher Jo

      leave it to brett favre to be so bored that all he has time to do is kill giant snakes.

  • Dan

    #15 How did you get inside my house?!

    • garratygroup

      A house that has a recreation of the "main" library from Hearst Castle? Most BA house ever!

    • Luke

      Nice coffered ceiling.

    • Penislav

      Through the door….

    • bollyver

      AVP, I see what you did there.

    • Vagina Jones

      When your walking in a group of friends and a limo pulls up; YOU are the asshole who yells "My rides here! See yall later!" Aren't you?



    • polychonopolous

      cgi… booo. Wood work is much more impressive when real

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1211787995 Keith Piscitelli

    #7, surrrrrre, no problemmmmm…giggity.

    • Grammar Ninja

      Eventually, that is — eventually….

    • Birdhaus32

      THose girls plan on having a banging good night!!

    • Bob

      Quick! Someone find the rufies!

    • gocubsgo!

      Giggity gooo ladies.
      Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you miss???hmmmm?

    • #387

      Looks like having "ROOM 855" Tattooed on my tongue is finally gonna pay off!

      • TheAndychrist

        Nice one.

        • Flicka

          Seems safe.

  • Çreep

    #1 there's your problem.

    • https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=654840083 Mike

      i wanna know who sent this is…i live there! i thought i was the only chiver around here 😛

      • Mystery


    • Giselle

      Nope. You're not.. Im in Fairfax too. I cringed when I saw that car as the first pic.

      • Jon

        woo fairfax county chivers represent! but on the real, I've seen way to many blue and white squad cars in the past couple of days its been ridiculous. yeah, definitely not the most liked PO's around but there's just 1 i've got good ties with.

        • John

          I'm in Fairfax too! Anyone know what actually happened and where this was?

    • Tim

      From my hometown: Fairfax County Virginia. Fail…

  • JROC

    #10 ohhh boy

    • Broner

      Ah yes, when words fail to describe exuberance at the sight of a gorgeous young woman, the man resorts to incoherent animal noises. Bro on!

      • Gino Terretta

        Don't worry, I speak bro- "ohhh boy" translates to: gorgeous face, perfect tits, me want…

      • verbal

        uhh "the ohhh boy" is referencing her Buddy Holly glasses, not animal sounds

    • Jason

      I would DAR the shit out of her… wait, is that even possible? *google*

    • craigarlen

      who is this? she is amazingly beautiful!

    • Sko


    • JROC

      i betting she has seen this thread… you're dangerously beautiful… please post much much more.

    • lemurfart

      agreed, certified hottie

    • Leann

      LOL Thanks for the love fellas.

      • True Lover

        There is plenty more love coming you way if you have more pics to share. So don't douse the love, MOAR!!

        • True Lover


    • Ruffestneckaround

      Was going to thumbs up, but it's at 69…

  • sheoncebelieved

    #21 way to do something useful finally patty, instead of acting like the Bitch Paula you are

    • http://www.facebook.com/a.d.lahey Andrew Lahey

      GAH! Finally I got a shirt! And one for the wife… best anniversary present ever.

    • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

      Don't take it out on dear Patty, he can't help it!

      – he's not Paula

    • wow

      thanks but Patty lose the last five already so we can see your muse NSFW

    • John

      Allow me to quickly dispel any rumors that Patty is Paula, dunno how that rumor got started. Presumably, it's because there is a mild resemblance in the names. Let me assure you that Patty is the only person running the (completely understaffed) Chivery at the moment. He doesn't have the time to stay up 24 hours a day and troll his brains out, nor does anybody else round here.

      Keep Calm and Start Drinking


      • Spoiler

        Except Mac, that is.

        • Spoiler

          Also, Patty is the shit. Pat on dude!

      • Jason

        What's the status with the patty weight loss?

      • not working

        DAMMIT they sold out as I was ordering but still say available and let me add to my cart. 😦

        Sad day, I was certain I'd get one this time. Can I get a b-day special order shirt? 8/9 is the lucky day!

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        That rumour got started because Chivers are dumb. They also think it's Bob, Mac, Emily…
        So far nobody suggested I was you though! Now what does that tell us… hmmm….
        Oh hey and I don't have 24/7 for this shit either, luckily my job allows me to Chive from time to time…

        Nobody of the Chive staff
        – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
        — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

        • Mystery

          Chivers are definitely dumb, I'll give you that.

          • Tits McGee


      • Apoennim

        "Chive On and Start Drinking" would be a good shirt. Maybe I could even get one before they sold out…

        • Fallacy

          The fallacy there is in the fact that most of us are already drinking when we Chive.

      • http://dirkpittfan.tumblr.com/ thatwasfun

        John….every time I see the t-shirts are coming in…it is while I am at work. Could you please please do a Saturday or Sunday sale? I am dying for a shirt…but by no means am a mooch, I will gladly pay. Thanks and hopefully you see this..

    • bigmikeskinsfan

      hahahaha…well said!!!

    • the droh

      i got one!!!

    • sheoncebelieved

      I'm pretty awesome in that I got both John and Paula to reply to one of my posts. I rule. (finger up in the air just like Kevin Spacey in American Beauty)

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        You lose karma points for bitching about Patty though…

        – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
        — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

        • Booze

          It's a love/hate/fuck relationship.

      • vagina jones

        why don't you stick those fingers up your ass.

        • 2Front1Rear

          That's not where fingers belong, vagina.

          • vagina jones

            after he sticks them in his ass, why don't you stick them in your nose.

            • TheDonald

              Why the fuck is everyone so fucking angry. Have a drink or get laid for fuck sakes.

              • TheDonald

                And no, they are not mutually exclusive.

  • slutifer

    #34 damn how does that work?

    • bambam

      For real…

    • Çreep

      do it naked!

    • 6655321

      Sigh. Well done the two of you. Love, dateless wonder.

  • racerx2112

    Win for more shirts…Fail for no 3X…got my 2X Chive logo tee and it's as thin as tissue paper and is about as big as a sock….alas the wife just inherited a new shirt….

    • JROC

      fail on needing a 3x shirt and fail on your wife fitting your 2x shirt

      • racerx2112

        I find your assumption of body fat disturbing…and after washing (which I'm guessing you don't do to your clothes) it's more like a medium…which is still a bit small for the wife's rack….knowwhati'msayin?

        • wow

          thread worthless without pics

        • JROC

          no i dont knoooomm'sayyyyin. i think you have bitch tits like your wife

          • racerx2112

            what' are you? like the knooomm'sayyyyin police?…and now you're just trollin…why don't you go check out reddit or something

            • Trolling

              No, he's not trolling. I'm trolling.

            • Fact Maker

              He's just being a dick unnecessarily. But seriously you guys do sound like you might be fat. Go to gym, and stay alive. Chive On.

            • JROC

              haha i win…this is a troll

        • Jimmy

          Unless these shirts are the worst shirts ever made, I highly doubt 2X becomes "Medium" in the wash. A medium is what would fit me back when I was a bone-thin, 5'10, 130 pound weakling, and even then it would be tight.

          Fail on considering the need for a 3X shirt a "healthy view on body fat."

        • SleezeDisease

          Pics of you wife's AND YOUR tits or GTFG (go to the fucking gym)

        • https://www.facebook.com/ryadical Ryan Williams

          I normally fit into 2x tshirts and the chive tshirt is skin tight. I know I need to go to the gym but it is much better than the 4x I used to be.

          Thechive logo tees are between 5-6 inches in diameter smaller than a brand new Anvil tshirt that I have. This wouldn't be saying much except that thechivery.com says they use "450 Anvil sustainable 50/50" tshirts. 5-6 inches makes a fairly substantial difference in size. I sent a photo of the difference between the two shirts with a letter explaining it and they never bothered even replying.

          thechivery FAIL

  • equalizermax

    Not sure if it's a Flip-Flop or a Crocs….. #35

    • Mystery

      And STILL you have a positive rating somehow. How the fuck is that even remotely possible after all this time?

    • markie_ni

      She must have been hit in the face with that flip flop from the looks of things!

    • http://www.facebook.com/christopher.neufeldt Christopher Neufeldt

      Sue Ellen from Arthur is real?!

  • yo yo ma

    #6 fuck, Fuck, FUCK!!!

    • Master_Rahl

      … aaaaaaaaaaaaand FACEPLANT

    • http://www.facebook.com/christopher.neufeldt Christopher Neufeldt

      about to fail.

  • Ryan

    #14 and they probably just love your money.

    • seth

      spoken like a poor person…

      • Broseph Stalin

        Just because he's poor doesn't mean it's not true

      • Ryan

        Woah woah woah….what gave me away as poor?? Is it the Walmart Halloween mask?

      • DWD

        It couldn't possibly have to do with the fact that he is an old, fat man with two younger women in designer shades kissing him. He's probably just a regular poor old fat dude in a golf cart with two hot chicks.

    • Penislav

      I love you too, man!

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1542780069 Benjamin Turner

      Nothing wrong with that

    • its_forge

      Annnnnnnnnd I care why they're giving me this attention becauuuuuuse…. ????


    #20 No

  • patojo

    Ill fix the AC #20

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=813195071 Cody Fisher

      Don't dare fix that air conditioner.

    • phonehangerupper

      no you won't and neither will anyone else!!

    • http://www.facebook.com/nikki.farr0 RubberDogTurds

      i bet you'll plug her other leaks too!

      • Ewww

        She's incontinent?

    • its_forge

      You touch air condition, I kirr you

  • thepikeypio

    #6 this guy is screwed. haha

    • its_forge

      You gotta love how the strut there is literally turning to dust before our eyes.

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