Daily Morning Awesomeness (20 Photos)

Advertisement
  • PoonJammer

    #18 I want to lick her butt.

    • THIS IS MADNESS!!!

      Why?

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=587208531 Benton McGrath

      Because he's a scatman.

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=587208531 Benton McGrath



        for reference

    • Turdcutter69

      Could not have said it better myself

    • Jen

      i thumbed you up.

      • hMMMM

        pun intended?

    • DubYA

      Gross Dude

    • AssDoc

      Because he like the taste of shit.

  • DipLick

    #1 M-I-C-K-I-L-L!!!

    • THIS IS MADNESS

      I see what you did there

    • dash

      they look kinda like the combine from hl2

    • DaddyD

      Actually, this isn't funny. The masks mean that the cops can't be identified and brought to justice if they injure (or kill) demonstrators.

    • Dr_StrangePants

      lol, reminds me of the end of Full Metal Jacket

      So I did some research. It's a Georgian (the country) Riot Squad
      The Ears for the commander are Photoshopped.
      But the Soviet-style gas masks really do look like that

      here's the original picture: http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/2007/11/07/wo

    • equalizermax

      Police Force in Disney World

  • married Guy

    #21 That's what my wife calls her boyfriend's 'junk'. My wife doesn't like sex with me anymore. 😦

    • alexri

      Seriously, stop that. It was funny at the beginning but now it's just lame

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=587208531 Benton McGrath

      Kill yourself or kill her, I just can't take it anymore.

      • DaddyD

        I hope he kills himself. I'm having a lot of fun with his wife.

    • DeathByCherio

      You realize what he's doing right? he's trying to get chive famous on here like paula did. A sad attempt but an attempt nevertheless. If we ignore him he'll go away eventually.

      • HankVatican

        Yeah. That strategy certainly worked well with Paula.

        • chefmaster

          Paula = Herpes

          • Event Horizon

            It never goes away…

        • Henrik

          That didn't work because we never ignored her.

    • That Guy

      can you blame her?

  • http://www.facebook.com/THIS.SPACE.4.RENT Tim Love

    #21 I hear it taste great when dipped in a frosty

    • married Guy

      That's what my wife said.

      • http://www.facebook.com/THIS.SPACE.4.RENT Tim Love

        Doubt it.

    • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

      True, true, and little girls dipped in hot chocolate taste great too. Start with eating their legs.

      Hugs,
      Paula
      – the one you love to hate

  • http://www.facebook.com/a.d.lahey Andrew Lahey

    No no no, Chuck Norris is Jesus' body guard. #3

    • A killer whale

      The both have nothing on motherfuckin Killer whales!

      • Jen

        i love the killer whale comments and facts.

    • Chunk Norris

      Chuck Norris is no ones bodyguard. Chuck Norris is going to kill you twice for that comment.

    • mikey

      What is a "Jesus"?

    • commodoresixtyfour

      chuck norris is jesus' real father he went back in a time machine and banged mary while joseph was herding goats chuck is actually god

      • That Guy

        Satan's going to fuck you in the ass for that comment. sorry but it's true.

        • Natureboy

          Satan and Jesus aren't real, you idiot

          • That Guy

            you want to bet your fucked ass on that? death will tell. death will prove what is true. whose God if any is real.
            an idiot is being so sure of something you can't even be sure about.

            • Natureboy

              you sure like sodomy for a Christian. Are you the Iron Sheik? Either way, chill out. I mean, WWJD, brother? I don't think Jesus would use curse words if he were real

              • Event Horizon

                Jesus is quite certainly real. Something tells me you didn't pay much attention in history.

              • That Guy

                who's to say i'm a christian? i guess this is how you reason. assumptions and a mutilated rhetoric base.
                Event has a great point. you don't believe in the Deity of Jesus.. cause to say he doesn't exist would make you an ignorant. but i guess that's not too far from the truth. Jesus existed as a person unless you are so out of your mind insane to question several non biased accounts of this life. honestly how do you function in life?

                • Bob Izumi

                  Y u mad though?

  • 9876

    #2 Soon…

    • disturbed

      Hand me the snorkel – I'm going in.

    • Stephan

      Jeahha! Hamburg-City ;))

  • Eddie

    #19
    Best Idea EVER

    • b-ry

      how many more times are we going to see this picture?

      • SkyVader

        No kidding. The Chive is reposting like a mad man.

        • xxs

          has been getting worse over the last few weeks. just let them imbed a few more videos and run some more banner ads, and then they can retire. more money…more laziness.

      • Bullets

        its only been every DMA and DAR for the past week, whats the big deal. All they do is surf twentytwowords.com and pull from there

    • nambla

      For a high school girl.

    • Jimmy C

      Why not just pour beer into it? Or Jack and Coke? That is all wasted space.

      • http://www.facebook.com/christopher.neufeldt Christopher Neufeldt

        Well, do you want watery beer from the ice melting?

    • myviewfromthepine

      Except for that whole drinking beer out of a straw thing……….

    • geez

      The ice won't last long where I live.

    • http://www.facebook.com/frederic.hoyaux Frédéric Hoyaux

      best idea ever, true. But only if it's not heineken but jupiler or stella artois!!

  • alexri

    #14 My life will never be the same

  • JustinFL

    #18 is downright gorgeous, great start to my day.

  • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

    Every gallery is posted so fucking early these days! Is it because they're all reposts stolen from reddit so that saves you guys a lot of time?

    Hugs,
    Paula
    – the one you love to hate

    • married Guy

      Want to go out Paula? Not to hang out, but to have sex with a married guy. My wife doesn't like sex anymore. 😦

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        Oh no, she does, in fact she can't get enough of it. It's just that after banging both football teams she's too worn out and raw to endure your king pin.

        Hugs,
        Paula
        – the one you love to hate

        • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1559343576 Krysta Lee

          Bwhahahahahahahaha! xD
          Have I mentioned how much I love theChive lately?

  • https://twitter.com/NavjeetBajwa n_kb

    #19 or just pour the beer into the cup…and beer through a straw just doesnt sound right

    • Anjin-San

      and Heineken is a shitty beer.

      • DennisHopper

        HEINEKEN!? Fuck that shit! PABST BLUE RIBBON!

        • _Moose_

          Frank Booth!! Blue Velvet is a great movie.

    • https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1064188593 Josh Gorter

      Heineken is gross, but it's a great idea for keeping your beer cold with out getting watered down.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=587208531 Benton McGrath

      Too bad most major movie theaters don't allow outside drinks. Of course they have nothing against going to a movie already sh*t faced.

      • Jen

        i hide that shit in my purse!

        • yep

          drunken whore

          • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=587208531 Benton McGrath

            Apparently enjoying a drink while watching a film qualifies you to not only be a drunk, but a whore as well. Bravo, sir, you have proved once again that haters gonna hate.

    • A Random Belgian

      Who in their right mind would refer to a Heineken as "delicious" ???

  • Malkintosh22

    #12 Nobody was surprised when Ricky ran away with a 6' 7" black man who carried a chihuahua in his purse..

    • nothingwrongwiththat

      Dude is gayer than a football bat. Gayer than Richard Simmons singing a duet with Elton John in a Bath House., etc.

    • hMMMM

      Cali…

    • guest

      who is this?

      • mydude

        Thomas DeCoud

    • http://twitter.com/ABQLifer @ABQLifer

      I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that his favorite position is tight end

  • http://www.spachethespatula.com/ shrkattck88

    #22 That really doesn't look like he's saying "asparagus" at all…
    I don't get it….

    • Malkintosh22

      Though I respect and appreciate your opinion, I thoroughly disagree.

      • Malkintosh22

        Haha, just kidding I don't respect you.

        • http://www.spachethespatula.com/ shrkattck88

          Alright.

    • humptus

      Yeah, have to agree. Looks like he's saying the 'as' part. But after that is fail fail fail!

    • http://thechive.com/ GernBlansten

      Just squint a little…..

    • Katie

      Prolly because he is saying Expelliarmus.

  • Todd A

    #18 Is this a new category? Subtle Sign Bite. I like ! !

    • PoonJammer

      I want to lick her butt.

      • travis

        Okay the second time was funny.

    • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

      A Chivette subtle biting whatever will always work.

      Hugs,
      Paula
      – except possibly 2 girls subtle biting one cup… have my doubts there…
      [Edit]: Nah fuck it, that looks great too.

    • Dr_StrangePants

      huh…now that you that out
      she has REALLY nice teeth

    • HUH?

      no, its the little nose wrinkles that do it for me.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=587208531 Benton McGrath

    #12 "Whatcha thinking about?" "Football stuff"

    • Headfade

      Still not as gay as Twilight.

      • ...

        yeah, gayness is about 0,023 Tw

  • Rökkr

    Awesome as always

  • Josh_5FDP

    #18 Is gorgeous!

    • PoonJammer

      Lick lick lick. Her Butt butt butt.

  • http://www.facebook.com/richard.c.rice Richard Rice

    #1

    that helmet rules, i'd be scared as shit if saw that dude with that mask with a gun

    • hMMMM

      any combination of mask + gun is scary

  • FloppyRocks

    #15 The only dude actually prepared for shark week…

    • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

      Nah he's incredibly slow wearing all that weight. I can know.

      Hugs,
      Paula
      – the one you love to hate

    • HUH?

      ok shark, your move……

  • https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1064188593 Josh Gorter

    #1 No one is really sure why ticket sales at Walt Disney World Russia have been steadily declining lately.

  • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

    #16 I'm leaving you today…

    Hugs,
    Paula
    – the one you love to hate

    • DweebsterDeluxe

      Somehow I doubt that…=/

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        Since nobody is gonna get it:

        Goodbye cruel world
        I'm leaving you today
        Goodbye
        Goodbye
        Goodbye
        Goodbye all you people
        There's nothing you can say
        To make me change
        My mind
        Goodbye.

        Hugs,
        Paula
        – the one you love to hate

        • NebraskaGuy

          Pink Floyd FTW!

        • hoho

          get over yourself. we're not all 12 here.

          • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1521060132 Sterling Crawford

            Cause 12 year olds love to rock out some Dark Side Of The Moon… ?

            • august west

              or in this case the Wall

            • Pedo-Man

              yeah, they do actually….

  • Peavy

    I DO want #17. Fantastic.

    • Cecil

      I collect chess boards. This is a damned must have. Not like "Burn my nuts with a cigarette" must have, but st maybe the arm.

    • Machinist

      I searched for it, and it seems to be a limited edition of only 500 sets. There must be at least 100 times that of Aliens fans who feel stumped. Good luck ever finding it!

    • Donkey D 007

      SWEET TITS!! where do i get one?

  • Steamboat Willie

    Who's the leader of the club that's made for you and me?
    M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E.
    #1

    • tralfaz

      rat tat tat tat tat tat tat!!!!!

  • JuanCamdingo

    #3 Agree to disagree

  • Commander Shepard

    #9 – that seems hardly fair

    • Bill57

      there is nothing fair in this world except the county fair.

blog comments powered by Disqus
Back to the top