Daily Morning Awesomeness (20 Photos)

  • Paula


    • Seldi84

      Yes you probably are.

    • greasdupdeafguy

      did you like it?

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      You fucking suck….

  • Billbo

    Thank god I'm not the only one…

    • nitrox

      I have to pee…not poop.

    • The Bacon Chronicles

      Yep, the morning coffee cleansing!

    • R2G Fan

      Like clockwork…hour and a half after the first sip of morning coffee, I perch upon the throne.

      • asf

        hour and a half? in my case i dont even have to sip the coffee… im set with the smell of the morning brew

    • Shawn

      oh yes, its a glorious thing, like ^ this guy said, its like clockwork everyday, never fails

  • SuperiorTo8

    #17 like a boss

    • Sovem

      Worst partents ever.

      • douche

        Sorry your moms idea of a pool was throwing you in the shitter.

    • Catalystika

      You sunk my battleship!

  • Seldi84

    #7 i would watch the shit out of that show

    • AssClown

      I want to be the black one when we go play this outside!!!

    • Justin

      I came here to say the same thing.

      • i just chived

        i would accept black blue or red

    • Master_Rahl

      definitely one of those shows you watch on mute. no audio needed. show me the rainbow of hotties and I'm good.

  • NJF

    Anyone go to look at a 5 dollar bill after #13 ?

    • MonkeyMadness

      lol I did.

      • kindlin

        googled it, it's fake


        • Travis

          Thanks for the clarification

    • http://www.facebook.com/kurt.mcleod Kurtis McLeod

      Busted out two different $5's just to see if it was a new/old trick… talk about disappointment.

      • ChiverMeTimbers

        Me too! I felt like an idiot.


      The Freemasons had a thing for pancakes. Who knew?

      • BollyTheKid

        Nick Cage probably does.

    • lonin

      I saved myself the time and just scrolled down to see what was said.

    • ZachBob

      would have, but i'm too poor to have a $5 bill.

      • HUH?

        i looked for one, all i found was twenties. dang first world problems……………

    • listenlady

      I tried both kinds of $5 too. Felt like a horses ass.

    • Luke

      I doubted it when I saw it. Tried anyways.

    • F.S.M.

      No because I am not retarded. What the hell people. Get your shit together

  • hater

    #12. HADOUKEN!!

    • Pokepoke

      Surely you mean HADOUUUUUUUKEN!!

      • KevinMcBerger


    • Jen

      that's good work.

    • Tyler Durden

      Tiger Uppercut

    • Catalystika

      Really cool art there. Looks like it's from Super Street Fighter II, if I had to wager a guess.
      Are we naming off moves here? In that case…

      Tiger uppercut, sonic boom, spinning bird kick, step roll, buffalo head, sumo headbutt, spinning piledriver, and last but not least, izuna drop.

      SF 4ever!

  • Screwhead317

    #9 SHIT!!! o.0

    • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

      Why oh why the fuck do women (men who love cats are no men) love cats so much? Bloody arrogant furballs with nails that destroy you and your furniture, that's all.

      – the one you love to hate

      • kindlin

        Gotta say I love cats. Two cats fighting is hilarious, they also are awesome to pet when you have a great cat, which if you raise it right, all cats are great.

        As for the pick, HOLY SHIT!! The cat was clearly annoyed but then he goes

        on his ass!

        • http://echogeo.wordpress.com/ echogeo

          Yeah, it's real awesome when they "mark" their territory as well.

      • Drought

        What if a man owns a motherfuckin' tiger?

        • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

          Same as with expensive cars; compensating for a small dick.

          – the one you love to hate

          • Trainwreck92

            What if it's a cougar? Bigger than a housecat, but smaller than a tiger. Terrifying ferocity in a reasonable size.

  • Lower


    • hMMMM

      you've obviously never been to the pool

  • http://thechive.com/ Paula_


    – What? Oh hell, not?
    Dammit…. OK, I'll admit… I'm still upset about that asshat John wanting to kill me with fire in yesterday's DAR # 10… So I may be kind of slow today… LGGGGGG!!! ❤ I need a hug!!!!

    • bringit

      LG is busy sucking pelicans.

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        No as usual she's being an AWESOOOOOME goddess <3! 24/7!
        You couldn't be awesome for a second, no matter how hard you try. The bird blowing comments are a lame way to show you envy her.

        – the one you love to hate

        • goeatherpoop

          She must be busy at theChive office then ,on her knees.

          • "John"

            If only…

      • curious george

        LG's into pelicans? I'll be right back, just going down 2 the pier for a sec…

    • :-D

      Just don't read it and she will go away. but all you guys read her shit :-

      • Panama99

        Just like you read it and responded.

        Most times I simply give her a Thumbs Up since this will make her rating/score go down (since she is in negative numbers).

        Of course she says her rating/score doesn't matter her but I think she's not being totally truthful.

        • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

          It might start to matter a bit to me if you can tell me what I can do with those points, either negative or positive points.

          – the one you love to hate

          • Steveystevesteve

            You win with them duh

          • Panama99

            Who knows, I know when I started coming to the Chive you were around -125 or -130 but over the past 6 or 7 months you are now down to -114.

            I'm assuming you irritated a lot of folks to get such a high (negative) score/rating.

            I do enjoy watching you get folks upset and I'm surprised by how personal some of them seem to take you. Looking forward to your next rant.

            Have a nice weekend.

  • n_kb

    #1 not even one fuck was given.

    • http://twitter.com/ChrispMorton @ChrispMorton

      find her

    • Dr_StrangePants

      Indeed, No fucking was to be had for him that day.

      • hMMMM

        Judging by the pic, I'm thinking this guy doesn't have too much trouble getting in her pants.

        Unless they're siblings….

        • http://www.facebook.com/ranDgallegos Randall Gallegos

          and that changes…?

    • lonin

      Actually, he's dead. She's rowing out to dispose of the body.

    • Catalystika

      Well, except for the person in the picture doing all the work. At least ONE single, solitary fuck was indeed given.

  • First

    The first!!!

    • MonkeyMadness

      Not by a long shot, pal.

  • Dan

    #21 – 1up!

    • the professor

      beat me to it !

    • http://thechive.com/ cubanitagirl

      was gona say the same lol.


      Not sure if deadly, poisonous mushroom, or a mushroom that will allow one of the most terrifying pranks to be pulled ever…

    • Charlie_Cheen

      Wow, I guess I'm slowpoke today, didn't get the 1up.

      I was looking at the large white area on the mushroom and thought it sort of looked like a silhouette of Shrek. =/

  • Bieberhole69

    This shit's gay as hell.

    • patov40

      So am i. Wait for me to confirm that with my other profile.

      • patov40

        Oooh!! Got me again. I'm sorry you can't trade your sorry life for my awesome one, which you clearly want, otherwise you wouldn't take my user name, but I'm afraid you're just going to have to work harder and find more friends. C'mon man, close that computer and go out and find a life! Have a nice day! 🙂

    • BIll57

      still not as gay as twilight

      • BIll57

        Ok, it's about time for you to get trolled I've had enough of you. It'll be fun for you, ask Jen.

    • frankysins


  • The Bandit

    #15 ….why? You take the back of a Corvette and the front of a Camaro and that's the best you can do with it??
    #2 …why's the guy in the back cheering? He didn't win…

    • dfoggers

      I was wondering the same thing. Perhaps everyone gets a participation medal though?

    • saucypants

      It's not whether you win or lose, it's that you get to race on cobs of fucking corn.

    • TomTheCameraGuy

      Maybe he's just screaming "Whhhyyyyy???"

    • Pat

      Why? Because: "Fuck you That's why"!

    • ZachBob

      there's a guy in my neighborhood that drives a Chevy S10 with a corvette rear end. just like #15, minus the front of the 'maro. and he didn't even bother to paint it one color, the 'vette part is white, and his truck is green. FAIL

    • ssstoopid

      Special olympics

    • thong cyclist

      Hey is actually in first and just lapped everyone, so yea he is winning.

      • thong cyclist


  • saucypants

    #12 Ryu and Ken better be on those thumbs. They are glaringly absent from this picture. Still hot and awesome though.

    • playa

      I could kick anyone's ass with Ryu or Ken circa 1993…

      • Catalystika

        Yep, those were the days. I mained Blanka all the way up to SF IV. Now I main Vega with a side of Blanka. I'm assuming you still play?

        • caleb

          "you still play or you're still gay" not sure if typo or being honest.

  • maclean

    #15 Optimus Doucheprime

    • Steamboat Willie


    • https://www.facebook.com/jpstrauss Juann Strauss


      • http://www.facebook.com/pcribaudo Pete Ribaudo


    • Silentstatic


  • Yup

    Anyone else notice the chicks on Brigade are almost always hotter than the ones they show on here?

    • saucypants


  • Hummers4lyfe

    I'm pretty gay

    • H3?

      Finally out of the closet? Good for yout Hummer boy.
      Let me guess… an H3?

    • Average Chiver

      We are ALL gay ,we just dont like to admit it.

      • TitoRigatoni

        taking "speaking for yourself" to a whole new level.

  • LaLakers2408

    does paula actually think He/She is funny?

    • MonkeyMadness

      Apparently so. I wish people would quit feeding the troll. Maybe it'll go away.

      • BIll57


        • thomf


        • BIll57


  • T.X.

    #11: Hara Kiri reference
    There a lots of funny & trash thing in Hara Kiri

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1073252378 Geoff Karakanian

      Titles say : Is your child stupid ? Turn it into a broom !!
      Crazy French people (daaamn, I'm French as well…)

      • http://www.facebook.com/mikerhinos Michael Dufour

        In France we don't have oil, but we have ideas ! :p

        • http://www.facebook.com/pcribaudo Pete Ribaudo

          I heard you dont have soap either just white flags

          • Dakota

            It might be te only reason 79.000.000 peoples from all over the world and especially somme nice fellow from the US come to our country every year to buy us some soap. Whatcha think moron ?

  • Steamboat Willie

    We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise.

    • tralfaz

      Raid at Schrute Farms?

    • BloodScrubber

      Always easy to catch anyway. Their getaway vehicle only moves at 8 MPH. 😉

      • Hippy Dan

        Anybody else notice how GIANT the Omish are?

        The shortest guy is 6'3!!

        • itsjustme

          could be wrong, but that might just be in inches. just sayin

        • ZachBob

          dumb ass, the shortest one is 63" aka 5'3"

    • https://www.facebook.com/jpstrauss Juann Strauss

      Hitching with the buggy
      Churning with the butter.
      raise the barn on Monday
      Soon I'll raise another

      Think you're pretty righteous?
      Think you're pure of heart?
      Well I'll bet you I'm a million times as humble as though art.

      • ReallySeriously

        hitchin "up" the buggy, and Churning "lots" of butter.

      • CuriousGeorge

        And it's "Raised a barn on Monday"

    • beat rice

      I'd like to know what they're getting arrested for. Reckless and inebriated buggying perhaps?

      • itsjustme

        Nope, for not putting the orange reflective triangles on their buggies. They are in violation of safety laws and refuse to follow them because it is against their religion to wear bright colored clothing, and they carry that over to their belongings as well.

  • AssClown

    #9 That person's face is fucked…

    • Fleeb

      That cat would be eating the wall.

    • Jen

      fuck cats!!!

  • AssClown

    #6 I want one of those masks…I'll troll people in real life for a living.

    • BIll57

      who do you think is goiing to pay you?

    • Dr_StrangePants

      that is a scary goddamn mask in 3-D

    • alex

      You should do a contest to see how many street signs we can change to CHIVE…

  • Patrick

    #5 I'd name him Wilfred the Cat

    • indifference

      Oh hai, welcome to Mythbusters.

    • Farva

      Am I jumping from tree to tree all nimbly Brimley?

  • SenorWilson

    #11 Not sure if real… Or if italians are crazy…

    • Fab.

      That's french… from an old magazine called "hara kiri". http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hara-Kiri_%28magazin

    • AZA

      That's from an old french magazine and it says "your child is a jerk, use it as a mop"

      • HectorGum

        That's a brom…

    • Zero

      it french idiot

      • TomTheCameraGuy

        haha, fail

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