Daily Morning Awesomeness (20 Photos)

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  • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

    #17: Why? I demand to know! WHY!!1!?

    "Commenting on this page has been disabled by the blog admin."
    Some admin, huh? Rough weekend Bob? Sprained your ankle on the "T-shirt Shoot Happy Happy Dance"?

    Hugs,
    Paula
    – the one who is FJJIIAAAHARHARHARSSTTTT whenever she wants to

    • Mac the Intern

      Bob just wanted to give you an extra 20 minutes to come up with that.

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        Well that did help 🙂 Next time I want a one minute warning on Messenger, OK? Love ya!

        Hugs,
        Paula
        – the one who is FJJIIAAAHARHARHARSSTTTT whenever she wants to

      • Stan_Dalone

        should have done it for a few days, now that would have been hilarious

    • Bob

      Yeah, a Chive post without comments is like masturbating without porn. Not cool

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        Ah! You DO have an intensedebate profile! Wowsies. Following… Couldn't find you earlier. Glad you stopped hiding. Big hug; come lay your tired head on my hairy bosom…

        Oh and I know all to well you did that comment thingy just to piss ME off!

        Hugs,
        Paula
        – the one who is FJJIIAAAHARHARHARSSTTTT whenever she wants to

        • Stan_Dalone

          (extreme sarcasm) the world revolves around you, like they did it all for you. You are so irrelevant get a life paula

          • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

            You have no idea of all the things they do to tease me asshat! Uninvite me to meetups, kill me with fire in animated gifs, move office without telling me etc.. Look, if you can't keep up with current events why don't you go back to Reddit?

            Once Lauren (<3) called me on the phone for some phone sex; turned out she was in the Chive office and had the whole thing on speaker. Was somewhat embarassing when they all started to LOL. My fault too for a part; I already thought I heard Bob do his Happy Happy Bouncy Bouncy Dance in the background during the phone sex but thought nothing of it at first.

            Hugs,
            Paula
            – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
            — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

            • Stan_Dalone

              again with the stupid asshat comment can't you oh that's right you don't have an original thought and the LG thing you must have been dreaming

              • DickRoll

                On the count of: Originality:

                Paula: 112
                Stand_Alone: 0

                • Bill57

                  how much did she pay you to come up with this?

                  • Stan_Dalone

                    Dim witted wouldn't you say Bill

                    • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

                      Bill, Stand…


                      No matter how large your tiny club grows.

                      Hugs,
                      Paula
                      – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
                      — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

                    • BIll57

                      i love to stand i don't get your joke but im gonna prtend to be cool and not use any periods commas or asshats i am the worst

                    • Stan_Dalone

                      first of you really are an idiot and trolling you has never been more fun. watching you and your so-called friends scurrying to make sure my score goes down. I told you before the score means nothing to me. Only you and your cronies care. i don't need a poll to tell you that you are a loser all ya have to do is see how many people thumb you down on every post

                    • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

                      I sense…. you are upset about your poll failing hard.
                      I also sense… you never trolled me.
                      And then I sense… something about points, but am not getting it.
                      Finally I sense…. I got bored with you way faster than with BIll57. Bye meow.

                      Hugs,
                      Paula
                      – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
                      — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

                    • Stan_Dalone

                      not in the very least does it bother me in fact I haven't looked at it at all, I told you alll you have to do is see how many people thumb you down on every post those speak for themselves moron

                    • Stan_Dalone

                      paula, I would like to see things from your perspective, but I can't stick my head the far up my ass.

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        BTW you might want to try this hip new 'girlfriend' of 'guyfriend' thingy, it's pretty cool once you get the hang of it mr. Happy Feet.

        Hugs,
        Paula
        – the one who is FJJIIAAAHARHARHARSSTTTT whenever she wants to

        • cubicman

          I love You Paula 🙂 Big,big kisses :-* muahhh

          • SimonDPieman

            You can't "love" Paula. Acceptance is the only real option.

            Paula is like the Edward Scissorhands of the Chive Universe.

            • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

              Yeah but with severe ADHD, blind and on a sugar rush.

              Hugs,
              Paula
              – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
              — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

              • cubicman

                I still love Ya 🙂 :-*

      • Boom!

        or lotion..

    • MAC

      Ha. Thumbs.

      • The Chivery

        up your butthole? chivers love that! i love to say that! i am such a homo!

        • The Chivery

          Of course! I am a proud Chiver after all.

          Chive on!

  • http://www.facebook.com/jbisset22 Jeb Bisset

    #21 I lol'd pretty hard

    • Teoinbawe

      people, please stop typing that you "laughed out louded". thank you.

      • Gibz

        I think he meant he Llama on Llama'd pretty hard.

        • Rodney Safefield

          winning

      • mooseknuckle907

        I lol'd when I read this.

  • meh

    If fixing the glitch means banning Paula, then I would have been OK with it. Too bad it's not 😦

    • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

      They! Can't! When will you guys ever get it!?

      Hugs,
      Paula
      – the one who is FJJIIAAAHARHARHARSSTTTT whenever she wants to

      • Stan_Dalone

        Oh we get it all right, If we could ban you, I assure you we would all sign a petition to do so

        • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

          Why don't you make a realistic poll using this PollDaddy thing IntenseDebate offers? See what happens. Be sure to post it fast on a new gallery.

          Hugs,
          Paula
          – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
          — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

          • Stan_Dalone

            all those in favor of banning Paula thumb this up

            • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

              WOW!!! After 5 whole hours you're at +2!! You could gather +100 by the end of the year!

              Hugs,
              Paula
              – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
              — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

              • Stan_Dalone

                thats cause it is hidden in replies most people don't go to read the replies, go look at all your posts and see the hundreds that thumb you down

                • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

                  Could it be…. that THAT's why I told you to do so on top of a new gallery instead of hiding it here? I'm way ahead of you… again… Yawn.
                  Please try again though, but this time… with feewing… uhhh like I said earlier.

                  Hugs,
                  Paula
                  – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
                  — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

                  • Stan_Dalone

                    All you have to do is see all the people who thumb you down on each of your posts. You can work all night at clearing your modem or whatever you do to up your score and put my score down which as I told you before I don't care about scores. You cannot erase hundreds of minus scores have fun freeky deeky dutch bitch

                    • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

                      Waste of my time, but have to let you know: you're clueless, honestly.

                      Hugs,
                      Paula
                      – the one you don't understand

                    • Stan_Dalone

                      while admittedly I am not the sharpest tack on the wall, it is very obvious to everyone that you are irrelevant to everyone but yourself not matter how much you thumb me down

    • chone bone

      its further than earth

  • Waterbottle

    #19

    So I just have a question that is probably answered by simple science

    Isn't mars closer to the sun… so why is the sun smaller in proportion compared when viewed from the earth?

    • nightwave

      Mars is the next planet out; farther away.

      • Waterbottle

        And that is why you do not do any type of thinking when you have been drinking, thank you

        • mooseknuckle907

          HAHAHA been there done that

          • http://www.facebook.com/kenneth.tautfest Kenneth Tautfest

            you have got to work in Kuparuk… specifically in scaffolding. Only place in my life I've herd the term "mooseknuckle"

        • Harry Carry

          Your honesty is appreciated

    • Dan

      Simple science shows that Mars is the fourth planet out from the sun. Earth is the third, ergo, the sun appears bigger on Earth.

    • JaloppyJoe

      Mars' nitrogen-rich atmosphere has an effect called "demagnification" which makes the sun seem farther away, when actually it's much closer. Science'd

      • shaka

        Mercury is the closest, then Venus, then Earth, then Mars… simple physics tells you that the sun is farther away from Mars, and that is why it looks farther….

      • Broseph Stalin

        hahahahaha and I thought Waterbottle failed hard. You, my friend, win. Go sit in the corner.

        • Frank

          Funny as hell, but i originally read it as sarcasm as someone could not possibly be that ignorant. I guess…

      • +.+

        LOL'ed so hard.

      • alex

        i must say tho, very nice attempt. some idiot out there bought it.

      • markus

        awesome.haha

    • Joe

      Watuh Bahdul

    • Muadieb

      And that is why you fail.

    • http://www.facebook.com/acasinas Alfred Casinas Jr

      should've asked google first.. *facepalm*

    • patov40

      Ignoring the OP's major fail thanks to chemical impairment, pretty money photo. B)

    • da2conan

      Not simple science, THIRD GRADE science…

      • asd

        Simple Science = 3rd Grade Science *face palm*

    • Roman

      This is clearly a sunset on Tatooine.

      • Franklin

        No, then there'd be two suns, since it's a binary system. Good try, though.

        • its_forge

          Binaries aren't always in sync; sometimes you got one, sometimes the other, sometimes both.

    • yoselahonda

      I nominate for Fail of the Year.

    • RayBoogs

      yes simple science as in, no its further away

    • Joe

      Wow..

    • UrineTheMoney

      It's actually closer to Uranus. That's why ur ass looks so big.

    • Markus

      no, mars is the fourth rock from the sun. Mercury, Venus Earth Mars

  • Jerry

    #2
    Wicked.

  • MrAliasMan

    #9 I meant to do that.

    • Jed

      Nailed it!

    • BIll57

      that's me! finally made it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/richard.c.rice Richard Rice

    #16
    pansey ass cat

    • James

      i disagree. you try jumping in to something 10x bigger than you. and also doing it without putting your hands out. face first cat is ballsy as fuck!

      • Stan_Dalone

        not if it is an old dog who doesn't care about a young kitty who is obviously playing

        • Jen

          are you equalizermax?

          • Stan_Dalone

            no dear, I am not

  • Vanilla Gorilla

    #15 Use slide at own risk!

    • Dan

      Here lies Jimmy, who hit the closest tombstone.

    • NaNaNaMatmaN

      Cradle to the Grave?

  • Ed Wood

    well that's a first: an afternoon or morning randomness that doesn't feature something about Twilight or Justin Bieber. guess the Chivers will have to get their Beiber-fever fix somewhere else.

    • Machinist

      Llamaface Lautner is associated with Twilight…

      • Observation

        You must not speak sarcasm.

  • SuperiorTo8

    #10 Ice Fucking. The perfect mix of porn and artistic ballet poses. I love flexibility.
    #14 That is just awesome. Just. Simply. Awesome… but Tyrion Lannister is cooler

  • Tony

    #10
    ICEGASM!!!

  • chiver

    Leave bob be and bring on mondays double d’s!!

  • winterishere

    #14 YES!!

    "If you would take a man's life, you owe it to him to look into his eyes and hear his final words. And if you can not do that, then perhaps the men does not deserve to die"

    • kidn

      fear is for the winter, when the snows fall a hundred feet deep!

    • https://www.facebook.com/allen.moton Allen Moton

      Woah, I totally forgot about this line and it is totally relevant to the end of the season.

    • taylor

      anyone reading the books?!? The story gets better and crazier!

      • j22

        reading books. havent seen show.

        • https://www.facebook.com/cstory80 Chris Story

          I've read each one of the books at least twice and I am strongly of the opinion this story represents the best fictional writing being produced today. The only sad part is that now we have to wait at least 2-3 years for the next book.

          • taylor

            Maybe longer, we waited 5 years for book 5!

  • Leroy

    #22 Either way, he's still gonna play with his Woody

    • MOAR

      Well done, Leroy…well done.

    • JHNWRL

      good 1 leroy!!!!

  • acash

    #10 surprise buttsex?

    • jpp407

      Surprise thumbsdown.

    • hMMMM

      b/c her butt is located in front of her body.

  • Leroy

    #22 Either way, he's still gonna play with his Woody

    • The Chivery

      either way i'm still gonna try to play with my woody but without male help it's hard with only my naked sister and mom to watch

    • SimonDPieman

      yeah we got it…

    • ShakeyTheMoyle

      Think you nailed it the first time:$

  • Richard

    Ummm that would be mercury is closest, then venus, then earth and AFTER us, is Mars

    • Stan_Dalone

      Google it Planets
      Mercury Venus Earth Mars Jupiter Saturn Uranus Neptune Pluto

      • lol

        My
        Very
        Eagar
        Mother
        Just
        Served
        Us
        Nine
        Pancakes

        • lol's mofo

          she can serve me some pancakes

          • bryan

            pluto isnt a planet anymore

  • theyellowfever

    #8 Girls in the bottom tier have a 80% chance of pregnancy. It's science.

  • nose

    wow. worst DMA ever.

    • truth serum

      agreed.

    • )$#9u2

      and before any of the Chive dick-suckers come in here and try to say anything other than this post sucked balls, #1 is a guy fucking VACUMING. 'nuff said.

  • nate

    UGHHHHHHHHHHHH. UGHHHHHHHHHHHH. UGHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!__________________!!!!!!!!!!

  • Kyle

    #23… WANT…

    • g1880

      I have some important news…Cannonball

  • kidn

    #15 that slide must be more dangerous than it looks

    • Stan_Dalone

      people are just dying to use it

  • lipsi

    #22 if he picks the playboy he gets a woody to. it's kind of a no brainer

  • Dan

    #4 Nothing can wrong there!

  • merrowyerrow

    #23 mbn

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