Daily Afternoon Randomness (48 Photos)

bbbb Daily Afternoon Randomness (48 Photos)

A new season of Nick Swardson’s Pretend Time starts Wed. 10:30/9:30c. Check out his offensively blissful new video, ‘How to Suck It’

  • Mcfly707

    #2 Pedo Bear approves.

    • ton

      lmao… that is so wrong.

    • SARmedic

      i'll bet you do, you sick fuck.

    • Gaz

      No, really, no.
      I guess you're a pero bear's prevost to have such a think in your mind.

    • Jen

      You're fucking sick.

    • Horseface

      Congratulations!!!!! You are the 1,000,000th Chiver to use "Pedobear Approves" as your comment! Amazing that is is still just as HILARIOUS as the first time it was used!!! In recognition of your achievement, you will receive…….a brand new sense of humor!!!!!!!

      To you other Chivers out there, don't feel bad. Other phrases such as "MOAR" and "KILL IT WITH FIRE" and "(insert picture of fat woman) That's Paula!" are still under the 1,000,000 use threshold! You too can win a new sense of humor!

      • The Dude

        Comment of the day.

      • Mcfly707

        And I would like to welcome you to the internet. I have a feeling you're not going to like it.

        • Horseface

          You're right. I don't like trucker hat wearing douchebags who say the same thing over and over again, and think they're hilarious every time.

          You got me.

          • Mcfly707

            So this is the second time you've posted about people repeating themselves. Hypocrite much? At least I know if you post again I win. Thanks.

            • jjj

              nah. you lost the second you posted your first lame-ass comment.

    • Lotus

      Is it just me or is has the chive been launching duds this week when it comes to the DAR? Shaping up to be a bad week, lets see if "hump" DAR can turn this around.

      • 894u


    • Putty Dog

      If anyone even thinks of photo shopping this I will personally send you straight to hell to meet Satan and most of my deceased friends.

  • Jeff


    • Undershooter30

      #39 Keep Calm and Chive On! Get well soon. Btw I got my chive on shirt today so I hope my happiness is contagious to you. 🙂

  • AssClown

    #19 Kiss her? I'll destroy her!

    • uberbrie

      Mario is giving me the weirdest boner right now…

    • truth

      come up with your own shit.

      • AssClown

        I take my own shits everyday, while playing Angry Birds…

        • charles

          story of my life, try fruit ninja…. playing Angry Birds/Fruit Ninja whilst dropping the browns off at the pool makes my day complete

    • Brandon

      This mario should call me for some live game playing…

    • Stan_Dalone

      she is very hot

      • Jed

        I love Nerd Girl's very own Leanna Vamp.

      • NebraskaGuy

        Yes, yes she is, but as Mario, she's missing her mustache … but that's ok, she can ride mine any day! 😉

  • Raaandy


    • dr phill

      ^^^ #22 ^^^ you dip shit.

    • uberbrie

      That is not a complete sentence therefor there is no need for a period according to annoying internet protocol.

    • FACE!

      Not even close, but you do win a prize, a slap for being a slow ass bitch.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      Ohhhh Randy… FUCK OFF!!


    #8 Wanna know why you're a bitch?

    • NME

      The only shower she deserves is of the golden variety.

      • FACE!

        From a horse

    • derek

      if you look at the picture, doesn't it look like the girls hand comes straight from her shoulder, with no arm?

      • DoomsDayDub

        No, no it doesn't.

    • Charlie_Cheen

      Did anyone else notice the Dislike button?

      • Dr_StrangePants

        i would not of caught that

  • Slappy McGee

    And that's the way it is…

  • L_E_Ott

    #6 wow gay robot what a great new idea. oh wait…

    • Dan

      Fuck Nick Swardson.

      • 8934j

        agreed. unfunny cunt.

    • The World

      Screw you Nick Swardson

      • not arrogant

        ^ im sure these guys all have their own tv shows and have been in several movies….

        • Horseface

          So has Paris Hilton and the Kardashians, but you're not worshipping them……oh wait, you probably do.

        • Jettison

          soo….you can't judge a movie as shitty, unless you've made one too? GEE, THAT MAKES PERFECT SENSE!! DERP!

          • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=77100504 Kyle Bartley

            Grandmas Boy was awesome.

            • Horseface

              Watch it when you're not stoned or drunk. It's a lot worse than you remember it.

    • Jay Costanza

      Fuck you Nick Swardson for ruining my DAR with your embarrassingly unfunny "characters" that only a mentally challenged pre-teen might enjoy.

      • The Chivery

        "that only a mentally challenged pre-teen might enjoy."

        Or us Chivers. But close enough.

        Chive on!

    • not arrogant

      YEA he sucks ass dicks and is no good at anything…..

      now that i have hated on somebody for doing something i most likely couldn't do, i feel better about my self.

      • Red

        either way, you still suck.

  • riley

    #41, #42, #43

    God I hate those fucking spammers. you guys are my new heroes for the day. Well played!

    • Guest

      Those aren't pictures of the scammers you ass. The actual scammers give a couple bucks to some of their patsy neighbors, who then pose for the pictures to be sent to oh-so-hilarious white people such as yourself.

      • Shanequawaah

        damn white people you so funny.



      • Briojw

        anyone who thinks it isn't is a retard. the chive staff are such shameless self-promoting douchebags.

    • Guest

      419 Eater dot com does this all the time, though each email conversation goes on for like 20 pages and lasts months.

      • Macintire

        just talk to them on skype they have cool stories bro

        • A BiPolar Guy

          I've done it. I had a guy promising to meet me in amsterdam and bring a hooker and a dog. Seriously. I'm not saying he would have actually done it, it I'm just saying they'll agree to just about anything to keep you on the hook

    • Nathanial Hörnblowér

      the mention to get the last payment, does that mean they actually paid them before????

      sad, real sad

      • http://www.facebook.com/ranDgallegos Randall Gallegos

        didnt say "last" said "final"

  • igor

    I'd like to put #8's up #7'

    • Chris

      i guess facebook made an exception and decided to add a dislike button for that post

      • dirtysteve99

        I noticed that too, the dislike, not the fact hat the thumb would be well placed in the ass, that is a separate matter.

    • what?troll

      #7 is russian model Anna Isaeva, if anybody interested.

  • pittsburgh412

    #35 all bars should require these

    • ROK247

      one time a drunk guy at the urinal next to me fell and pissed all over me on the way down. that was fun.

      then, one time i was that guy…

      • ho9883


      • Kinkajew

        wow. you sound like you fail at life.

      • Jaca

        screw those guys, I laughed!

      • Jaca

        because i think you deserved to be pissed on because of how unfunny you are otherwise.

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=8204704 Josh Peters

        Add a cup holder and you're money

  • pittsburgh412

    #47 thank you

    • Inviolability

      Gorgeous as always. Plus if she needs a photographer for awesome pics I will gladly volunteer! 😉

      • Horseface

        Reads your comment…..thinks you're a virgin.

        Looks at your picture…..yep, definitely a virgin.

        • Horseface

          Haha, he changed his picture……….confirmation he's a virgin!

          • 894u


        • Hunter X

          Reads your comment….sees your lack of avatar….KNOWS your a troll.

    • next time send 1000

      Yes, thanks. But why just 2?

    • Jetski

      holy crap her feet are huge……

      • oughtnot

        … you're looking at her feet?

        • Punt cunt

          how could he not??? they're so fucking huge!!

          • Red


            • Danvers

              Dude you need to stop replying to yourself. It's pathetic.

      • dbolusaf

        she can give me a FJ neday

      • Coochie Train

        Now that you mention it, yeah. Look downright hobbit-like.

        • The Word

          What? Her feet are feminine and narrow. She's like 5'7 too so even if she's a size 10 she's still got proportionate feet. Something really is up your ass commenting on your own comment ten times huh?

      • truthserum

        Her feet are smaller than the chick in #45 so you are full of shit.

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=606371253 Shannon Coverdale

        You know how I can tell you are gay?

    • Brandon

      very sexy… you and my wife should hook up!

      • jioo94

        no one wants to hook up with that beast.

      • http://www.facebook.com/ranDgallegos Randall Gallegos

        are you seriously troling TheChive looking for a chivette to hook up with you and your wife? this is the 2nd comment like this that ive seen just today.

    • sixdeadelves

      wheres Paula? I thought she'd be all up in LG's stuff

    • http://www.facebook.com/isleepatnight Nathan Mastermind


      • The Word

        She is 360 degrees hot and if the trolls want to think otherwise it's their loss that they have their heads that far up each other's asses, even though it really is 1 or 2 trolls replying to themselves over and over again.

        • marco

          dude, get your head out of her ass. shes pretty and thats it. huge feet, nice stomach, weird legs, big boobs. average.

          • Ted Bundy


          • Koolaid Mang

            agreed. she's hot but she ain't that damn hot. these fanboys need to go out and touch a damn tit.

    • bobby royer

      does that say (lg)or (lq) hopefully it's say's LG,that girl is fine,,,,,lg,

  • a southern grrl


    Give that cancer hell, darlin, and good on ya' Chive. a site with a heart ❤

    • http://twitter.com/erinwillett @erinwillett

      Get better soon, and like the guys said: fuck cancer. Chive on!

      • 2pumpdump

        your hot. just sayin

        • 2dumppump

          no she's not. just sayin

          • Brother M.


            • Jettison

              also agree.

    • RAS

      Get well Soon. Tell cancer to kiss the north end of a south bound dog.

    • MAX_POW

      Just in case, in another language: "Decile al cancer que se vaya a la puta que lo parioooo!!!" (spanish + argentinian slang)

      • Master_Rahl

        que bueno, MAX – couldn't have said it better myself… no really. My castellano sux.

    • The_Dood

      Where's cancer? Im gonna beat it's ashs!
      Ahh, good ol' fightin' round the world!
      Anyways, best of luck. Hang in there and keep calm, which will be a lot easier with your new shirt.

      • mxi

        Beat it babe, just keep the faith (Chive faith you know)

        Good luck, shitloads of love from Manchester UK.

        • Teh Smoochie

          *Dies the next day*

          • Ed Wood


          • Eh.

            Wow. Whoever laughted at this… All aboard the train straight to hell. Smoochie's drivin, but I musy say unfortunatley I do have to get on board.

            • 9i4ki

              "If you can't laugh at everything, you can't laugh at anything".

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000855121698 Anthony Roybal


    • Jason

      Once again the Chive shows their class…fuck cancer in its bum

    • fibonacci5150

      if you get a heightened sense of smell, just get small scented candles or something that smells good to you to counter what doesn't. That's the pro way to do it 😛

    • Chris

      Well played guys. I would expect nothing less from the Chive lads.

      And yes, Fuck Cancer!

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=645725699 Rene Zepeda

      thanks to all of those that sent us nest wishes this is week 2 of chemo barely starting to kick in for her but shes doing great. ill try n keep you guys posted maybe a pic midway through and one at the end and one after her full recovery thanks a bunch again.

    • bert

      very like

    • Tim

      Go Rene! And thanks, Chive, I'm glad there are guys like you in this world.

    • Mike

      Just beat that cancer! and Chive on!!!

  • Jeffrey Lebowski

    #1 Jason Bateman and Will Arnett confirmed season 4 Arrested Development is happening!! Wahoo!!!

    • Jeffrey Lebowski

      #20 Awesome…made the above comment before seeing number 2o.

      • derp

        Worth the wait…hopefully.

  • tommy j.


    Your boobs… they're not bad either

    • RAS

      i second that!

      • https://www.facebook.com/cstory80 Chris Story

        I third that!

        I think I know her! Hahaha! 🙂

    • 2pumpdump

      looks like alot of chiver's have dar'd that gap

    • paul

      Hes a luck guy and I hate him

      • PoohBear

        Is he that lucky for having an attention whore of a GF?

        • Truth

          No. But the virgin fanboys on this site don't know any better.

        • jjj


        • jjj

          but i spend all day masturbating to said attention-whores, so i don't know shit.

        • paul

          Who cares, if she has the brains to match that body, I'd be sold!

    • Fapfapfap

      Post more photos of your hot chick

    • Yep

      Understatement. Fact is they are fantastic, and pok-a-licious. #45

    • Evil Dung Beetle

      A chick that hot asks you to, "DAR her GAP" and you get your camera out? What an idiot!
      ("DAR her GAP" is a euphemism for sex right? Well, it should be.)


    #7 Hello there!!!

    • k-9

      thankyou….. very much.

    • mcsgwigga

      Hey baby, wanna take a gander at some Adam West penis???

  • https://www.facebook.com/karretimothy Tim Karre

    #45 Or could be burn your bra.

    • lonin

      If I got that wake up, the last thing I'd be doing is taking pictures.

      • ddd

        That's why it's fake

        • Patricio

          Do guys really want a ton of people fapping to their girlfriend?

    • http://gravatar.com/drummer113 Isaiah

      Why can't we have both?

  • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

    #47 #48 Why, hello there handsome! <3<3<3

    But I'm sorry, I've got no time to annoy you dear minions, about to watch Dexter S06E01, Bye meow!

    – the one you love to hate

    • josh

      dexter gets a bj from the ex-prom queen, kills the ex-prom king, they find 7 snakes in a dead guys body, and deb's boyfriend tries to propose but she shoots an invading criminal wearing a kevlar vest.

      just thought i should try and ruin your viewing experience lol

      • The_Dood

        Trolling the troll. Well done sir.

      • http://www.allinbayarea.com TWON925


      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        Just finished watching. Epic prom queen boobies!

        – the one you love to hate

        • dagleja3

          Truly excellent boobies!!

    • paula


    • Inviolability

      Watched it twice, its a good one Paula!

  • Qwixel

    **Ding** #30 is DONE, take her outa da stove.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=526770996 Jay Hernandez

      Who let her dip in the chocolate fudge?

    • Ling

      that's not done…that's time to make a new piece of toast or if out of time, scratch the shit out of it with a knife and hope all the burnt parts scrape off enough to be edible.

    • Richard Wadd

      She looks like she has a tasty caramel coating.

      • Stan_Dalone

        over cooked no doubt

    • MAX_POW

      Can i put the thermometer to check?

    • TheRealSnowman

      KILL IT!!! KILL IT WITH FIRE!!! >.<

      • Kaiwatha

        Well from the looks of it, someone already tried to and it didn't work….

    • http://TheChive.com Drewcifer

      I thought black face was a thing of the past… clearly wrong… sad waist of a woman…

    • jordan

      ur doing it wrong

    • http://thechive.com/ cubanitagirl


    • http://www.facebook.com/ranDgallegos Randall Gallegos

      i can only hope that this is some sort of joke…..

    • McG

      I think the the stove may be broken – she's a little too well done…

  • iheartchive

    #39 chive should accept donations for a charity, people who donate get chive stickers or something else awesome!

    • bigmikeskinsfan

      you dont donate expecting to get stuff in return.

      • iheartchive

        not shit, but getting stuff in return makes more people donate…its about getting the most money for the charity..go read some more bible passages, ill stick to the marketing

    • Bob

      I agree. What a great site…and a great way to help p/u our Chivers that ain't a hunny percent (100%). Keep on chivin on !!!

  • dash

    #45 lucky bastard

    • Sid

      Agreed. I'd DAR that gap.

  • moniesLOL

    #30 can't tell if real or plastic

    • http://www.reemclubs.com Chris

      Real. That's Josie Gibson and Jeff Brazier. Josie is a Big Brother 2010 (UK) winner and Jeff is a TV presenter. She doesn't usually look like that, so I can only assume that it is a joke.

  • Picard_

    #15 oh man….Sudbury's true colours caught on theChive.

    • http://twitter.com/StrongAsMeat @StrongAsMeat

      Home town. Not sure if proud or ashamed.

      • http://www.facebook.com/ylcloutier Yannick Cloutier

        I feel ya….no wait, not like that!!!

        • Steph

          I am from Sudbury also! Not so proud though lol

    • DaveK

      Yup we live here……lol

      Awful newspaper too…

    • Sly

      Home town pride!

      Chive on from a Chemmy boy.

  • wells11490

    #2 ready to be shopped????

    • derp

      This isn't my Didgeridoo.

  • Tillman

    #45 You are indeed lucky. And after seeing #28, I am lucky as well.

    • 2pumpdump

      #28 you could do alot, alot worse. dont fight it ….kill it….kill it with fire

      • You're a Douche

        Are you kidding? You could get lost and die happy in those.

      • lonin

        Don't like her? What's wrong with her? She's beautiful, she's rich, she's got huge… tracts of land.

    • boobs

      that bride has great boobs. more!

  • dorkly


    that is all

    • 2pumpdump

      tre, gey

    • http://www.allinbayarea.com TWON925


    • SARmedic

      "that is all" what? like you REALLY needed to make that comment…..

      • lolwut

        ""that is all" what? like you REALLY needed to make that comment….." what? like you REALLY needed to make that comment…..

        • jjj

          really? you're that much of an unoriginal douchebag?

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