Daily Morning Awesomeness (20 Photos)

  • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

    Just for old times' sake, because I can and because it is no challenge to me.

    #17; you've got crabs!

    – the one you love to hate

    • Sassy_

      im often first bc i like to stay up late.. but i never have anything interesting enough to say.. see?

    • http://thechive.com cubicman


    • Stan_Dalone

      No Paula you got crabs and it's not food. Whats the difference between you paula and an asshole?……………………………………………………………………………you can clean an asshole

      • FuckoffStan

        Sleeps_Alone – the internets biggest hypocrite

  • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

    #8 Yes; the the.
    #10 Well done 🙂

    (Oh come on guys! 3 minutes later and I'm still second too? Step it up a bit will ya!?)

    – the one you love to hate

    • https://www.facebook.com/kindlin David Terry

      I looked at that for at least 10 seconds with no freakin clue. You probably don't hear this much, but thank you Paula_

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        Well my roofie victims sometimes thank me when I cut them loose, but other than that…. can't remember if anyone ever did…

        – Except Stand_Alone; when I spank him he always says: "Thank you Paula may I have another?"

        • la la la

          You so crazy. I bet you're a real hoot at office parties. For a few minutes.

        • Stan_Dalone

          You can't hit hard enough. You couldn't beat your own meat. How are you going hurt me?

          • FuckoffStan

            Gee Willikers Sleeps_Alone you sure seem to know alot about beating your meat

      • Jarryd

        two mistakes actually. But Paula is too stupid to get that…
        Colors of the Rainbow. Red Orange Yellow Green Blue Indigo Violet
        Colors of the Numbers. Red Orange Yellow Green Indigo Blue Violet

        • Jacob

          Actually the numbers are colored red, orange, yellow, green light blue, dark blue, indigo, violet, pink. I don't think they were going for roy g biv, or they would have used less numbers.

          • Wisti

            They were going for the actual light spectrum. They're more for chemistry/physics rainbow than a kindergardener's rainbow.

        • hMMMM

          you are reading wayyyyy to much into that.

    • CatBan

      Second hey Paula? Damn! I was so busy having a life outside the internet I forgot your challenge.

    • Jimbo

      You're. It should be you're. That's the mistake.

    • Rainbow

      Yet again it is proved how stupid Paula is!

      Only stupid people can see the two the's as they have to read every word carefully, intelligent people automatically cut out the second the.

    • lala

      Actually it would be two "the's" can you find the the mistake

    • Hack

      Obviously, there should be no 9, because 7 8 9. Duh.

    • Johnny Bloom

      There was no mistake. they put 'the the' in there on purpose. So no mistake.

  • Maaan hold up!!

    #6 I need that at my house, stat!

    • Stan_Dalone

      Man cave accessory, must have

    • surfer

      You like your soda flat and the diabetes?

      • hMMMM

        and then whatever drink you put in there next will always have a scent of cola, or whatever drink you decide to put in there. Tried this a couple of times in school, never really successful.

  • James

    #11 me too brother, me too

  • Hawk

    #8 two "The"

    • bbqboobs

      I feel stupid, but at least I'm not Paula.

      • Cyberfunker

        "the" is written twice

        And Paula won't understand what I just wrote

        • Bubba

          Damnit! I really did'nt see it! I feel so stuuuupid…

    • Biggus Diccus

      Damn, here I was thinking the 5 and 9 were not primary colors

    • Obvilious

      And the six is actually a nine and the nine is actually the six.

    • Charlie_Cheen

      OK, so honestly, how long did you guys look at this before you got it? It took me about a minute and reading through it 20 times and evaluating all the colors, etc. 🙂

    • LC

      i failed hardcore at this. ouch.

  • donnyrkj

    #7 is getting made TODAY!!!!!

    #12…Tim Tebow still sucks!

    • BaltimoreChiver

      That is not Tim Tebow….just a smart man, using a puppy, to get chicks.

      • that_guy

        and if u look at his eyes, that's the face of a man that can see his plan coming together perfectly…….and if you could hear his thoughts he'd be saying "soon"

        • hpxml


    • Biggus Diccus

      Ladies I got a something else you can stroke as well

  • JAS

    #7 looks awesome, but would be better with granny smith apples imho

    • Guesty

      Fuji apples shit on Granny Smith apples.

      • a_schoenoprasum

        true dat

      • howard

        honey crisp apples shit on all other apples!

        • Really?


      • Frank

        Guys, step up to a real apple. Try a pink lady. Throw in a gala for the hell of it too. Seriously, we're going to fucking argue about apples?!

        • JHL1

          Sure, there hasn't been an argument about apples on the internet for at least 2 hours.

  • Cici

    #1 would definitely scare any straight crow away!

    • http://www.facebook.com/Spaded21 Mark Konior

      Looks like that's from Bengtson's Pumpkin Farm in Homer Glen, IL

    • phydor

      Mind the gap?

  • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

    #12 So… a puppy works just like free drinks hmmm? Interesting, interesting…

    – but then I'd have to club them…. messy…

    • yes. again.

      That is not a real puppy. That's too small to be a real puppy.

    • Stan_Dalone

      Thay are attracted to the dog not the guy. Tebow couldn't talk his way into one woman never mind three

      • Guse

        You're a moron. I don't care what you think of him as an athlete, but that man has probably been elbow deep in more tang that you and I combined x 2.

        • Guse

          Besides… I don't think that's Tebow.

          • Jon-QC

            I'm pretty sure that's Sam Warburton, captain of the Wales international rugby team…

      • Guesty

        I've been trying to hold back today, but every fucking time I read a comment you make, it kills my own brain cells. Please stop posting comments, it makes you look extremely retarded. Just stop

        • Chantal

          Rule #1. of the internet. Don't feed the trolls.

        • FuckoffStan

          OMFG I agree with Guesty????

      • FuckoffStan
    • Huh?

      Yeah but a puppy doesn't cloud their judgement like drinks can.

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        Well, that's the whole idea about roofies, dumbass.

        – the one you love to hate

        • Really?

          But if you feed the roofie to the puppy, it gets in the puppy's system. How does the roofie affect the girl when she eats the puppy?

  • http://www.spachethespatula.com/ Rachael

    #7 would be better if the apples were roasted- raw apples would just be difficult and awkward.

    • http://thechive.com/ GernBlansten

      Even better…..tits.

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        "would be better if the tits were roasted"?
        Or: "Raw tits would just be difficult and awkward"?
        You crazy old fart…

        – the one you love to hate

        • http://thechive.com/ GernBlansten

          Roasted or raw….tits.

          Speaking of which, has that depilatory cream helped at all?

          • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

            I'm trying to get a solid discount 'cause of the sheer volume of cream required, but I seem to be on some sort of blacklist.

            – the one you love to hate

    • Shirleyewejest

      But they wouldn't be as pretty when roasted

    • yup

      made this 9 years ago for a date…. toast the apple for like an hour and throw some cinamon on it

      • http://www.twitter.com/apollorockit Apollo!

        bitches love cinammon

  • Anonymous

    First Bitches!

  • gaz

    # blonde in the middle.I'd hit that

  • gaz

    #12 blonde in the middle. I'd hit that

    • nemesis

      Let me guess – you like your violence like you like your beer. Domestic.

  • beat rice

    Child, what have you done?!

    • Craigery

      He's obviously a witch.

      • JHL1

        How do you know he's a witch?

        (waiting for it)

  • Alf

    #12 not a silly chap.

    • hMMMM

      look at that girl's hand!!! EW WTF!?!?

  • Todd_A

    #2 "I'm gonna kill my bitch a shark….. All my bitches love sharks"

    • Ian

      Fraser Island, Queensland Australia

      • Brutal Deluxe

        Figures that if there's a beach somewhere that's awash in shark pieces, it would be in Australia

  • MidwestChiver

    #11 we all do #16 hmm

  • Todd_A

    #16 – Is there an anual membership option??

    • SpellCheck


      … or were you thinking 'anal'?

  • Patrick

    #20 Must be an emperor penguin.

    • joe


    • Ashley

      Didn't laugh at the picture until I read this.

    • Ronnie

      If anybody was wondering, that is the norwegian King's guard. I used to be one of them. It sucked

    • Dez

      This is a penguin being knighted at Edinburgh Zoo. Not even joking.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=836640186 Christopher McKenzie

      This is a mascot in the Norwegian King's Guard, He holds a symbolic rank of colonel XD

  • The Guy

    #12 read #21

    • shwan

      I need the the other book. I often have trouble getting my locker open.

  • dashete

    #13 So are there bins that bears are allowed in?

  • The Guy

    Dang it, if that is Tim Tebow then disregard the above.

    • Jacob

      I don't think so.

  • sshuggi

    I think you need to fuse #6 and #16… Whiskey fountain.

  • bbqboobs

    #12 Find the one on the left!!!! I personally recommend you start at the local Denny's.

    • bbqboobs

      BTW, what the f*ck are you guys talking about? That doesn't even look like Tim Tebow.

    • Sam Perkins

      the fatty looks more interested in eating the dog then petting it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/conecta2.dk Eduardo David I. Sicard

    #12 Buy puppies, bitches love puppies

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