Daily Afternoon Randomness (48 Photos)

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  • mrbungle

    not 1st!!!

    • Jaja Opobo

      i don't know what to do with this

    • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

      You BASTARD!! You're using black characters on a white background!
      THAT'S …

      Hugs,
      Paula
      – the one you love to hate

    • Catalyst

      Mr. Bungle sucked big fat donkey cock! Both this guy and the band

      • mrbungle

        uh, greatest band ever. and to help troll, ill be the base to yr acid. get it? catalyst?

  • Matt

    never disappointing

  • WhiskeyFoxtrotTango

    #16…. fake all the way!

    • Bud

      Plus, who cares if your not doing her.

    • RayBoogs

      and gay anyway

    • lonin

      Doesn't matter, still loled

    • JPO

      As a father, this made me smile… please let my daughter find a guy like this!!

  • http://thechive.com/ GernBlansten

    #8 you are doing just fine

    • Ron Swanson

      Umm, bullshit!

    • JoeyJoJo

      You're a terrible cook and your bf should toss you to the curb and find something better.

      • its_forge

        Dude. Did you *see* the tits?

    • its_forge

      Just don't spatter grease on that marvelous chest.

    • Bryan_W

      I don't see it.. where is the breakfast?

    • JHL1

      There are only 2 problems….
      1 – Not enough bacon in the pan
      2 – Lack of extra pics showing other angles

      • Si1entStatic

        well I don't blame her for doing only three at a time. If she used all the bacon at once in that small pan she could scar that beautiful chest with the overflow of grease. besides if you notice the stack of bacon is still out so I'm sure she will get to the rest

        But I agree with the lack of extra pics from other angles, like what the bacon sees……

    • MattKL

      Trust me, he won't be complaining.

  • Wiley

    Hooray for the Dar!

    • Wiley

      #31
      "It's easy to think that noise isn't harmful."

  • real talk

    #48 when an ass is so nice you think its photoshopped

    • amiright

      I don't think that needs any panties at all

      • Falthor

        I would love to see ti in some Boy Short personally. but whatever you want I'm sure is going to look fine.

        • Sluttypanda

          I'd prefer any, but I personally don't find T.I. very attractive. Probably because he's a guy

          • Falthor

            ha ha ha

    • heywoodjablowme

      actually, when an ass is so nice I don't care if its been photoshopped.

    • macrda13

      gay

      • Beetle

        She has one pair of underwear. I hope she does laundry on a daily basis.

    • gooz

      with that fuzzy coat, it can't be photoshopped, though it probably should – or be shaved.

      • Craig

        This guys clearly a virgin ^^^

        • CraigIsRight

          ^winner

  • Lefty8

    #8 I'd say you're doing it just right

    • Colonary

      She won't think so when it pops and burns the hell out of her

  • Not a troll

    #38 – i would

    • Biggus Diccus

      I'd bang her dead friend as well

      • JusAskin

        Would that be considered like a 2 and half-some?

        • JusAnswerin

          Doesn't matter, had sex.

      • Da Sandman

        hell, anyone with only a little common sence would… i don't get the guy that wrote that crap

        • Phil

          Pretty sure it's a joke, just saying.

          And my favorite part was detracting points for a deck that needs finishing.

        • TheAutomaticMan

          Define irony – misspelling the word sense*

    • buffalodave10

      I'm in the 80% that would

  • me

    Yes!

  • Taco_Depot

    #31 His steps quickened. They took up a gay rhythm."

    Jitterburg Perfume by Tom Robbins.

    DAMNIT!!!

    • beasty

      #31
      "Oh no, sirs" Lot pleaded. Guess I should keep The Bible a little further away.

      • Guse

        The output of this command also shows you the manufacturer of the disks.

        My sex life is boring.

        • Blumpkin

          "For a premium credit, the Loss Deductible Clause contained in paragraph 15 of Section I – Conditions is deleted and replaced by the following:"

          Um, I'm going to go find a different book.

          • Giant

            "The photograph gives a good idea of the accessibility of this type of tunnel"

            For once my aerodynamics textbook actually likes me.

            • wantomas

              "This column must also be used by a qualifying widow(er)"

              Ugh, thanks Master Tax Guide.

              • ShakeyTheMoyle

                "Very well, folks," Admiral Willis said.
                Seems as if Admiral Willis is up to the challenge!

                • itsgalf

                  The melting pot of the Hampton Roads region has produced the most interesting flavors.

                  – Looks like I'll be hanging out there more often

                  • Vlad

                    Hell Yeah Hampton Roads!

                    • Catbra

                      "After-dinner entertainment tends to be the sort that includes audience participation (often hilarious), a live singer/pianist, or performances by regional dance troupes."

                      Could be an interesting year……

                    • todrunk2

                      "Experience two rich and enduring cultures on our Wales and Scotland Duo"
                      – Country Walkers Travel Magazine

                      Seems as if I will be doing some cultural exploration πŸ™‚

          • Navyadam

            "Ayla got up, but hesitated when she looked down at her sleeping baby."

            Ummm I'm single at the moment… WTF??

          • DexLargo

            "The test for publication contempt is whether having regard to all the circumstances, including the effectiveness of alternative means, the court is satisfied beyond a reasonable doubt that the publication created a real and substantial risk to the administration of justice."

            Where's my Penthouse Letters when I need it?

      • Brian

        Teach yourself chess visually

        Pg 45

        Move knights to the center of the board…..OK

        Place your knights where the enemy pawns can't attack them…..Seem legit

        Knight forks are fun…………………Um, yeah.

      • Whoopi_G

        -"Eat up." It was Gaskin.-

        Final Fantasy 7; Advent children the novel. I like it!

      • sapientiamagna

        "For that reason, many in the nineteenth century rejected the idea of atoms on the grounds that we would never see one."

      • Ken

        "1.5. The dirac delta function"… indeed. Introduction to Electrodynamics 3rd ed, Griffiths

        • Flynndle

          Griffiths always has your back.

      • Smuggler

        "And when you tried to undo the knapsack i had fastened it with trick wire, and you could not find where it had to be unfastened." – I'm not getting any this year.

        Next line was seriously, "And next you struck me three blows with your hammer, and the first was the smallest and yet it was so hard that it would have been enough to kill me if it had struck its mark."

        • Smuggler

          From the Edda by Snorri Sturluson.

      • i8idiots

        it says

        "act II" what does it mean?

        book was the play 'Caligula'

      • Wade

        "Poor old darling." She stroked my head.

        The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway

        Boo yea!

        • Jrr

          Now he was a husband and father to four little ones of his own.
          Oh my god NOOOOOOOOooooooooo….

      • Jane

        #31
        "In her lap, her fingers touched with blood, her torn hem, her lost jewels"
        – The Reliable Wife by Rovert Goolrick

      • James

        "[Person] tell us how two salespeople from the same company handled the same type of situation"
        Threesome?

      • Ian7

        "That's the last straw." shit…

      • rufus

        "The economy class section of Air France's Caravelle to Zurich was fill to capacity, the narrow seats made more uncomfortable by the turbulence that buffeted the plane."

        The Bourne Identity… Sounds like 2012 is going to be better than 2011.

    • Mike

      Intoxicated all day: at night went out and got 5 Bunhill row.

      STIFF by Mary Roach

      Doesn't look good for me either

    • cellazer

      work, you have to figure out ways to spend time with her.

      Make today count – John Maxwell

    • SlimtwigMJ

      #31
      "The centaur slapped it fondly on a fender" Seems legit

      • Hyphen

        More appealing than mine: "But he knew his family must be frightened."

        Never Give Up – Ted Jaleta

        • Javi

          "The laughing man issued his orders from behind a black silk screen." – For Esme With Love and Squalor, J.D. Salinger. Not sure I understand it, but I'm willing to give it a try.

      • Andrew

        "Her warning had been unmistakable–if she ever found him in bed with a woman, Salander would make public the ninety minute video that documented how he raped her."

        It's gonna be a great year :/

        • TheFountain

          Nice – I am still on the first book:

          "Night watchmen well past their prime, uniform fetishists, and moonlighting university students had been replaced by people with real professional skills."

          I think it sounds promising…

    • einhorn87

      "The problem of evil is a very big mystery indeed."

      People Of The Lie by M Scott Peck.

      I don't even know what to do with that!!!!

    • fed

      lucky you. i got "all dead boys, and no one is older than 20" – la parola contro la camorra, by roberto saviano

      FYI the book is about Neapolitan organized crime, written by the same badass journalist who wrote "Gomorrah", and because of that he's a dead man walking

    • 1sttimechiveposter

      "The night before a health inspector came to my apartment, I had a brief nightmare about a grim-faced woman in a lab coat who crawled across my kitchen floor with a pair of tweezers." Readers Digest March 2011… Yikes!! What could this mean??

    • tara

      great ….webster's II new riverside dictionary….

      ath-lete's foot n. a contagious skin infection caused by a fungus and affecting esp. the feet.

    • marvin coldcuts

      The toy surprise in boxes of Mr. T cereal consisted of an actual gold chain.

    • nywolf

      I got rule 34 in the MRS Code of Conduct: At the time of recruitment (or before the research takes place if details change after recruitment), members must ensure that respondents are told all relevant information as per rule 21 and the location of the discussion and if it is to take place in a viewing facility; whether observers are likely to be present; and when and how the discussion is to be recorded; and the likely length of the discussion including the start and finish time; and the member, moderator and/or research agency that will be conducting the research.

      well… fml what am I supposed to expect out of that?

      • fed

        in one word: threesome

      • Nato

        Rule 34. By the international rules of internet…Rule 34: "If it exists, there is porn of it."

    • Shakes

      "Finish the sauce away from the fire…is suitable for glazed fish" Escoffier

      …….

      • STEVE

        DAMN MERRIAM WEBSTER'S DICTIONARY……….PAGE 45……………FIRST LINE…….ANTI-ABORTION!!!!!!
        I'M NOT TOUCHING THAT SUBJECT.

    • 6 crack rock minimum

      Telescopic Boxes – Safely ship and protect your odd-sized products.

      uline catalog. hmmmm

    • outof816

      "'ir' (to go) is an irregular verb"… Well, fuck me for having a Spanish textbook right next to me… But what does it mean?

    • Dave

      I got "Decisions, decisions and more decisions…" lol

      • Troll of Truth

        Not if you're a man. There are very little decisions on our part.

        *Note: Almost submitted with your, instead of you're

    • Kroc

      "This big bird uses to brood in steep and rocky mountains" (Translation by Internet) πŸ™‚

    • sleepysteve

      1805 154 Phosphoric acid, liquid.

      2008 Emergency Response Guide Book

      • http://www.youtube.com/user/ADHDavenger13?feature=mhsn Firefighter23

        Same thing Steve. Damn Chiving in the officer's seat of the Engine 😑

    • The wicked

      "He's not with us anymore" Crap…

    • tim

      "This in turn requires very small rotor shaft excursions to avoid blade-housing interferences." Damn you rotordynamics!!

    • nwest

      #31 If by accident you do uninstall a shared component, don't worry, you can fix it.

      • Bryan

        the straw knight jousts better than that one

        a clash of kings for those wondering

      • Jules-CO

        "Bring your workouts outside!!"
        " The minimal design makes these easy to operate and quickly work up a sweat"

        Wow, 2012 will be AWESOME!

        Palos Sports Magazine
        pg 45 -Triceps Station ad

    • Biggus Diccus

      You will get tons of pussy this year.

      -words I wrote at the top of page 45

    • DrJerome

      "'All kneel for Daenerys Stormborn, the Unburnt, Queen of Meereen, Queen of the Andals and the Rhoynar and the First Men, Khaleesi of Great Grass Sean, Breaker of Shackles, and Mother of Dragons,' cried Missandei in her high, sweet voice."

      A Dance With Dragons by George R.R. Martin.

    • Joe

      "Your survival may depend on your recognizing it." – The Gift of Fear, Gavin DeBecker

    • CaptainInsano

      Grainger Parts Guide:

      "1-Phase Face-Mount Open Dripproof.. Pool pump motors"

    • Brent

      "The top part of a water tank is divided into two compartments, as shown in Fig. P1-85."
      pg 45 of Thermodynamics – An Engineering Approach

      • Let it be boobs

        Is Fig. P1-85 Boobs?

    • nick

      Stephen Hawking " A Brief History of Time"

      In the first kind of Friedmann model, which expands and recollapses, space is bent in on itself, like the surface of the earth.

    • Matt

      This is from my English school book.

      "There was no doubt that it had passed through many hands."

      "The Book of Sand"

      Hell yeah! πŸ™‚

    • downfall616

      "Viktor Bout's entry into the air transport business brought early success in the unlikeliest of places, in Afghanistan."
      Merchant of Death by Douglas Farah & Stephen Braun

      I'm confused, but guess I'm going to the middle east.

      • scooter

        The actual situation is that the brink section is the true section of minimum energy, but it is not the critical section as computed by the principle based on the parallel-flow assumption.

    • Nick

      "His side flared, and he uttered a short grunt."

      • SameBook

        *His side flared with pain, and he uttered a short grunt.

        The one that ends at the top of the page is "(insert name here) braced himself as she threw herself at him, wrapping her arms around his chest."

        Sweet deal.

    • Taco_Depot

      ::Leaves for 30min. Returns to 40 new 'Chive Notification Emails'::

      I feel very overwhelmed.

    • childmolester

      Y Arrakis es simplemente otro lugar. >.<

    • Togas

      This function returns the same results, but it is called only 29 times.

      Oh noos!

      JavaScript: The Good Parts

      • satchel

        "the senior medical officer looked lipes up and down as he entered."

        does this mean the most action i'm going to recieve is a medical exam?

        from Battlefield Angels by Scott McGaugh

    • myself

      "Moreover, if the individual probabilities for each frequency class are summed, the result is 1.0"

      not sure what that means in terms of sex….

    • Vigo

      "GAARR!"
      Page 45 of Northlanders, book 5.

      That sounds about right.

    • punkrockmohawk

      "The shaft cleaning."

      Sounds like blowjobs to me! Metal Gear Solid: the novelization by Raymond Benson

    • Rhomboid

      "He wanted a party with fanfare, extravagance, and noise, one in which the entire town would participate."

      Hey now!

      • Richard

        2 books stacked ontop of each other.. so here is both.

        "Goddamn I'm in the bar from that freaking Skynyrd song!"

        Nuclear Jellyfish – Tim Dorsey.

        "[Salander] would make public they ninety-minute video that documented how he had raped her.

        The Girl Who Played With Fire – Stieg Larsson

        Seems I need to be careful about drunk girls…

    • http://www.myspace.com/theamericanmaniacs BentWrenches

      BUICK
      EXC. SKYHAWK & 1980-1981 SKYLARK
      Index of service operations

      ACCESSSORIES
      Air Conditioning………………….2-21
      Blower Motor,Replace……….1-69
      Heater Core,Replace…………1-68
      Radio,Replace……………………1-67
      Speed Controls,Adjust……….1-70

    • SweetAwesomeness

      "The most impressive geological feature on Mars – and perhaps in the entire solar system is the Vast Valles Marineris canyon complex"

      *Cosmos – A field guide. Giles Sparrow

      so i guess I am banging a huge slut this year…

    • B_ryan

      -Create a new partition from unallocated space.

      Windows 7 inside and out — hmmmmm seems im in for some boring sex 😦

    • Jacob

      "Sent to the Hancock College of Aeronautics in Santa Maria, California, louie learned that flying a plane was nothing like watching it from the ground. "
      Laura Hillenbrand – Unbroken

      True. Very, very true.

    • evadingnun

      "Boy, you're gonna carry that weight"
      Beatles songbook
      Not sure what to do with that!

    • RayBoogs

      "slightly behind, with his face buried in a small jewel"

      Sounds pretty good to me

      • RayBoogs

        holy warrior – angus donald (shittest book I've ever read)

    • Sweet D

      "Think of your subject as a single frame in life's epic motion picture"
      National Geographic Complete Photography

      Hmmm…not sure if that's good, or bad?!

    • Jah

      I am privileged, made better, by having known and worked with many of them.
      The Nasty Bits by Anthony Bourdain

    • chaddlane

      The beach is a small sandy one, usually with lots of people.
      -cool

    • lonin

      Notice that the FerroZine method has the greatest sensitivity of the three methods because it will measure the smallest change in concentration.

      Hach2o Water Analysis Handbook on Chemical Analysis…sweet

    • Jeff

      "Accordingly, when the applicable state law would frustrate the Congressional policy, it is preempted."

      I'm seeing the word "frustrate," so that's not good!

    • therunner

      You could go to a lab and get your VO2max checked.

      From a cross country coaching book. Am I gonna meet some fit girls?

    • Singlemom = Dreamklr

      CPT 2011 Medical Handbook

      Page 45

      00865 radical prostatectomy (suprapubic, retropubic)

      :/ F*ck.

    • Chi

      The taste of Heinz's ketchup began at the tip of the tongue, where our receptors for sweet and salty first appear, moved along the sides, where sour notes seem the strongest, then hit the back of the tongue, for umami and bitter, in one longer crescendo.
      What the dog saw -Malcolm Gladwell

      • quailman

        never needed one…

      • JPAnnichiarico

        "Tramp-Tramp-Tramp; that's the dead; tramp – tramp – tramp; they're coming after me; but I won't go – Oh, they're here!"

        "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn" by Mark Twain

    • domshooter

      "if you dont want my pussy", she said, "ill give it to some one else" -"Women", by charles Bukowski

    • JohnyB

      "The decade of Moral Hazard has ended, as it began, with a weekend of intrigue on Wall Street."
      -Corporate Finance Textbook
      Sounds fun

    • Jimmy C

      "We got to let that burn out now." – Lord of the Flies.

    • amp

      I am much mistaken if there are not some among us to whom a ball would be rather a punishment than a pleasure.

      pride and prejudice and zombies

    • muzzy

      "my life was busy"

      Ron MacLean : cornered

    • Grant

      "Well, Joel, my grandmother had diabetes." Joel Osteen – Become a Better You… don't ask.

    • Donafec

      and everyone celebrated by joining together in song, as inner-city ruffians often do.

      very excited t see what this year brings

    • Doctor Feet

      "Allow 30 minutes minimum."

      Well alright.

    • hazel

      "go back downstairs"
      leftovers by laura weiss

    • Imaguest

      Naked in the sun, music played in tiled courtyards
      A Feast for Crows by George R. R. Martin
      OOOOOOOOHHHHH YEAH!

    • goldmember

      First 3 words, "Bigbusted elderly woman"… Hmmm why not?

    • Guest

      "upon seeing you in person before the" –she checked her notepad–"'lynch mob gets hold of you.'"

    • ScotchScotchScotch

      "They have it backwards."

      How an Economy Grows and Why It Crashes – Peter Schiff

      WTF?! I don't want some damn philosophical answer!

    • TitoRigatoni

      A co-worker who shall remain nameless has accused you of unspecified shortcomings.

      sounds about right.

    • pablo_v

      nutrition: an applied approach
      "Improves memory," "Slows signs of aging," and "Boosts your immune system."
      thats the most I've read out of that book

    • SirDrAaron

      Fragile Things by Neil Gaiman

      "Do not fear the ghosts in this house; they are the least of your worries."

      Is that good or bad? IS THAT GOOD OR BAD?!

    • Field

      "Even more sobering, the conclusions and strategies which we develop today will be obsolete in a couple of years."

      sounds about right……

    • JHL1

      "The fire's not lighting, huh?"
      The Authoritative Calvin & Hobbes

      Curses – foiled again!

    • Tag

      "The same as a leapfrog squat but you move side to side." from my P90X book. Sounds…interesting…

    • sameoldlad

      …being two for every partner.

      "Mexican Corporate Law"

      So… Yeah!

    • Andy Valentine

      Melt the butter in a large saucepan, add the onions and garlic, and cook gently, stirring from time to time, for a few minutes until soft but not coloured.

      Damn you Mary Berry's Complete Cookbook

    • Taco_Depot

      Most. Replies. Ever.

    • poseidon9447

      What was I doing? I was just going. It was a move that would become known as a classic early Armstrong: a contrary and spectacularly ill-advised attack. I proceeded to go solo for the next three laps, and built a lead of about a minute and a half. Next thing I knew 30 guys came up and joined me. (Its more then one sentence but it cracked me up) The book is "Its not about the Bike" by Lance Armstrong

    • Steve

      Diarrhea is defined as an increase in stool weight to more than 200g/day. Blueprints Family Medicine

    • MI327

      "There may have been a hundred of them, or even a thousand."

      -In The Company of Heroes by CW4 Michael J. Durant

      Wow, looks like it's going to be a good year for me.

      • satchel

        well done you. XD

    • John

      From "The Rise of Teddy Roosevelt"

      "It was during this summer that he discovered the Nibelungenlied, whose Sturm und Drang evoked vague folk-memories of his own Germanic Ancestors"

      Yup.

    • HDub

      I retrieved my pyjama pants and scurried back along the dark passage to my dormitory.

      The Power of One by Bryce Courtenay

      Oh dear

    • ben

      Structured decisions based on clear and well defined logic.
      That's what I get for Chiving right after studying

    • nananamatman

      "I spent a few months in Austin, in 2003." OOOHHHHHH FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

    • Pasty

      "However, if the correct welding technique described in these pages has been used with skill and care, very few or no defects should appear on the weld." -Pipe welding procedures; Rampaul

      Could have been worse…….

    • Franklin

      "… 'Digging my Potatoes' with such sexual innuendos that it was banned by the BBC" – Encyclopaedia of Rock

    • Mike S

      Biography of Abe Lincoln- Abe wrote this down

      " I was never so unhappy in my life as while living with her."

    • spartan104fred

      #31
      The funds in each table are measured relative to a unique index using performance data from October 2001 through September 2011 (or from fund inception date noted in brackets).

      I think that i need a new book

    • jill

      Grab and go lmao

    • chillmo

      "… as a snaky green tendril thrust out of the center of the pile and began shifting the other things around."

      -'I Left My Sneakers in Dimension X' by Bruce Coville

    • nequamZero

      Quote: "The probability is almost zero, but it scares me shitless".

      From "The accidental time machine" by Joe Haldeman
      [Ace Science Fiction paperback issue, August 2008]

      Curses and naughty words!!!

    • Scheps

      Slide the guide under and past the belt.
      (Saturn Ion Handbook)

      Not too bad

    • Monte

      Make it Short, Simple, and Swallowable.

      from Enchantment by Guy Kawasaki

    • Agnot Clifton

      "She is not looking at me."
      A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by Dave Eggers

      Cool, that still leaves a lot of positions.

      • ehustician

        "Tragedy, news that spread quickly from Tokyo to New York"
        Go Like Hell – A.J Baime

        That sucks

    • jman

      "Underneath the Aerodrome was placed a plaque reading 'Original Langley Flying Machine."
      -Intro To Flight

    • captainobvious

      Hybrid cats such as the liger, a cross between a male tiger and a lioness, are completely infertile.

      not sure if that means I ain't gettin any … or if I have a free ticket to bang any chick without worrying about the consequences.

      I'm uh, really hoping for the latter.

      • captainobvious

        sorry, I forgot to reference the book. It is Fact. Fact. Bullsh*t! by Neal Patrick Stewart

    • Muadieb

      "The transverse axis, which is the line segment joining the vertices, has a length 4, so that a = 2 and a^2 = 4."

      Technical Calculus by Peter Kuhfittig

      awww… no sex? wtf?

    • Jack Knife

      Tuesday February 14 Valentines Day.

      I opened up my day timer, and Page 45 = Day 45 . . . Coincidence?

    • benbobbins

      "Isabel jumps up as a car is heard stopping out front."

      Tennessee Williams, Period of Adjustment

      Shit! The jig is up!

    • RichovonBlack

      Oh crap, for some reason its the English translation of the Holy Qyr'an

    • curious

      "I awoke with a jolt." πŸ˜‰

      • yh66600

        "He paused beside a pillar, before the tomb of a long dead stark. I loved that old man."
        Game of Thrones
        Jeez i hope it's not necrophilia.

    • Eric

      Now when they were arrayed, each company with their captains, the Trojans marched with clamour and with shouting like unto birds, even as when there goeth up before heaven a clamour of cranes which flee from the coming of winter and sudden rain, and fly with clamour towards the streams of ocean, bearing slaughter and fate to the Pigmy men, and in early morn offer cruel battle.

      The Iliad, in prose. No clue what this says about my sex life.

    • WS6

      #31 From the Star Wars Character Encyclopedia… Clone Pilot: Specialist Clone Airmen. From the start of the Clone Wars, clones were trained to fly LAAT gunships.

      Does this mean I get R2 Girl? πŸ˜€

    • Joel

      "The straw knight jousts better than that one."

      Ow, my pride.

      • eman

        "I'm sorry to barge in on you this way", the toad said, "but a few of my babies has taken off and I'm just about at my wit's end."

        Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk, David Sedaris.

    • DantheMan

      "She certainly liked to fuck."

      The Best American Short Stories edited by Heidi Pitlor

    • Goatscroat

      #31:
      "Every raw materials which enter the food workshop of our company, all have a piece of homeland far away from noisy city"

      -Sign Language

    • Smapple

      "The police found a body in the woods and the detective was leaning toward sexual assault and homicide-"

      • Evil Dung Beetle

        Uh oh

    • mycroft

      "persistent proteinuria > 1g/day"

      pg 45 Dec 2009/Jan 2010 MIMS (Australia)

      Something's gonna leak, I guess!

    • Grizzle

      "There is something about the human spirit which seems to some thinkers to demand a search for 'deep foundations.'"

    • hatterstyle

      Jane, you are under a mistake: what is the matter with you? Why do you tremble so violently? Would you like to drink some water?

      -Jane Eyre

    • RABbit

      "The new Audi R8 is very possibly the best car I've ever driven." TOP GEAR COLUMNS ~ LITTLE BOOK OF TOP GEAR GENIUS

      '…i've ever driven.' sounds like i'm gonna do the fucking over 199mph.

      dammit, i'm fucking a woman or a car?

    • Kruwreka

      "There wasn't enough room to make our spheres into Stools, and so we kept them pilled up and tucked into our bolts."

      Anathem by Neal Stephenson

    • legion

      That is a great book.

    • direwolf7

      The odessa file. takes place during the Third Reich. Page 45 was about the Holocaust. -blam!- me

    • Evil Dung Beetle

      "She doesn't have to be a monster."
      OK, that's cool.
      I half expected to find that the closest book was a tri-lingual operations manual, and page 45 would be like, "Insert Slot B into Hole H", only in Portuguese or something.

    • Jotah

      "At this point, you probably have questions". -Mindset
      Seems either really really good, or really really bad πŸ™‚

    • Travis

      "elements of the offence"

    • frank

      "In Central Europe widespread and common."

      cool

    • Makku

      "The Devil is not an ugly beast."
      ….hmmm, sounds ominous!

    • Tom

      "Except that it is a fire, it looks to me as stupid and blank as everything else looks."

      Dickens, Hard Times

      Firey but stupid, I think I could cope with that

    • it's me

      New opportunity

    • Bubba

      "The data warehouse is taking the conglomerate of all data marts." FML

    • ThornyDevil

      "English. They give every impression of not giving a toss"

      No fapping for me then!

    • Nato

      "Part of me still couldn't quite believe what I was doing."
      – Ed Macy's 'Hellfire'

      The possibilities are endless…

    • Michael G

      And it is absolutely essential that both husband and wife have close friends of the opposite sex.

    • BinginNinja

      "Bringing a knife to a gunfight and winning: Completing larger HDD projects with mini to mid-size drills."

      Underground Construction Magazine

    • Derek

      It's like she has Sinister motives or something. Gideon Sent her to mess with my head!" Scott Pilgrim's Finest Hour

    • Si1entStatic

      Sweet, Closest book is a ULINE book and Page 45 = Telescopic boxes πŸ˜€ "safely ship and protect your odd-sized products."

    • Luke

      "eleven men and one woman-as they milled around the gates of the airbase"
      looks like i'm going to be in a gang bang by an airbase

    • BckWdBoi

      "The police tape made a satisfying sound as I ripped it off the railing of the front steps …"

      Hmm … Not sure where that is headed.

    • Wally

      "He enjoyed parties and particularly the company of fine women." 1776 by David McCullough

      YES!!

    • Cory

      "i'll have no goings-on like this in Tim Gray's apartment!" On The Road by Jack Kerouac

    • zowie

      A mirror triplexer enables one film camera to be used with three projectors. ?!?

    • sadman

      "Top Russian researcher Prof. Matveyev recommends that you perform isometric stretches-"

      Relax into Stretch by Pavel Tsatsouline

    • snatch!

      If you were making a film, what mood or atmosphere would you try to create?

      hmmm, this is gonna be as interesting as it is entertaining.

    • Sh'oaks

      "I dare say no one else in the world would have thought of such a ridiculous scheme!" (Sounds like it's gonna be fun)

      Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell
      Susanna Clarke

    • beth

      "Why are you here?" I better not be asking that!

      • eve

        "they usually didn't take nine-year-olds, though. Was that what Achille was hiding?"

        Ender's Shadow
        omg… haha

    • ajw

      1st book didnt have 45 pages. 😦 FML
      2nd book in reach: A noisy cooler casts a cloud on our previous favourite….

    • AlOfCanada

      "Chords can be played in many different inversions [69!] or voicings [phone sex!!]" Complete Edition of Rock Guitar.

    • bizzle

      #31
      "Vincenzo glanced over Angela's shoulder and winked at Franco"

      Street Boys by Lorenzo Carcaterra

      Wtf?

  • Mike B.

    #17
    What are you looking at Dick Nose

    • Mitchell

      *Dickface

      • Yaemish

        Nope, Dicknose was a Teen Wolf reference.

    • Erinsat

      What breed of cat is it?
      Fuck nose

    • duderman

      At the moment it could'nt get worse, the mouse realizes he'll be T-bagged before he's eaten

  • jag

    #44 Sweet Jesus!

    • Bigdawg-77

      karla spice indian girl

      • jerry

        and softcore porn beauty

    • Ric Romero

      I'd like to poke her hotness.

    • Simon

      The natives are sexy!

    • DaddyD

      This is neither Jesus nor even Tim Tebow. This is one hot lady.

    • ymkfjddgjfjd

      KARLA SPICE funky looking nipples. πŸ™‚

    • Franklin1138

      I'm in.

  • AssClown

    #38 Yeah you're right…I'll much rather destroy her. Just look at her friend.

  • whyme1973

    #44 Would love to indian wrestle that.
    #48 Terrific hump. Thank you my dear.

    • YoutubeMemes

      TheChive should sell "Chive On" Yoga Pants πŸ˜€

  • Walken

    #28 – good idea

  • PANCHO

    #44 I call dibs

    • Jam

      Karla Spice NSFW

  • etcrr

    #10 you look just fine.

    • justin

      thats the perfect gift tee for someone

    • SLAP!

      can i slap you?

  • Vinny

    #17 As long as it's not your penis!

  • PANCHO

    #11 Ill talk door number 3 bob

    • Ramrod

      I'll take the other two sluts, thank you

      • tralfaz

        Can't you see the're married.

  • KCJake

    He looks just like your mom. Zing! #17

    • GoodOne

      OOOHHHH BURN!

  • PdxChiver

    #44 And to you I say "How"

    • JOE

      I know how, I want to know "When" ?

    • Anon

      Hi Ho, Silver!

  • Simon

    #3
    Derp!

  • etcrr

    #48 perfect "END" to the day

    • end yourself

      no, your comment always ends my day

  • Perry Noid

    #10
    Well Played young lady.

    • marco

      except there really isnt much of an ass there. now, if that ass looked like #48 #47….

      • lostangel767

        where can I find that Tshirt !! lol and Chive panties would be awesome !!!!!!

    • http://www.kneedeepinabottle.com Navin R. Johnson

      shouldnt you have a nice ass to wear that shirt?

      • Salute My Shorts

        I think the girl with the nice ass was supposed to be standing to her left.

  • Adam

    #31 "Assuming, finally, that we succeeded in explaining our entire instinctual life as the development and ramification of one basic form of will (of the will to power, as I hold); assuming that one could trace back all the organic functions to this will to power, including the solution of the problem of generation and nutrition (they are one problem) – if this were done, we should be justified in defining all effective energy unequivocally as the will to power." Yes, that's a really long sentence, and no, Nietzsche wasn't talking about sex. It sure sounds like it though.

    • Dr_StrangePants

      "But what steps exactly should they take?"
      Ghost Wars – by Stephen Cole

    • Nefaarious

      "Not yet" he though "But things could change."
      There was a knock on the door.

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