Daily Morning Awesomeness (25 Photos)

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  • blub_glub
    • glub_blub

      editing comments…heheh.

    • Lisa

      CHEEZITS!

    • wantomas

      What the Eff?!?

    • poops

      yo what youtube vid is that?

      • eman

        david blane street magic

  • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

    First meow?

    Hugs,
    Paula
    – OMFG she just won't die!

    • gooz

      fail

      • Wet_tosti

        Paula will only change it in second and makes you look like a asshat. And maybe not, so i'm the asshat.

    • I_Hate_Paula

      Reason #3437 why i hate you

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        Oh! Oh! Oh! Please write a management summary of the previous 3436 parts!

        Hugs,
        Paula
        – the one you love to hate

        • I_Hate_Paula

          Sure, give me your email.

          Kisses,
          -the one who loves to hate Paula

          • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

            paulachive at live.nl
            It's due yesterday!

            Hugs,
            Paula
            – Fan testimonial: "I got to say you are annoying sometimes but it wouldn't be a post with out reading one of your comments "

    • Poor little boygirl

      2012 is just not youre year Paula!

      • DaddyD

        Not youres either

  • Callie T Chiver

    First…..Go Pokes

    • ned kelly

      Go poke yourself.. up the pooper

  • hater

    #16. Yes indeed. FUCK that guy.

    • Mike

      Tips are EARNED, not deserved. Just saying…

      • Jay

        A minimum tip of at least $1 is deserved. And besides, the guy didn't say shit about poor service being the reason he wasn't paying a tip. It was that he had an ego the size of the room and greedier than scrooge the day before Christmas. Fuck him. Hope he dies penniless and alone.

      • KSinz

        Yes, but it's also ingrained into the system we have set up for the service industry. Not to mention as posted; he's explaining his not tipping had nothing to do with the service, but rather him just being "better" then the server. Probably killed a homeless guy on the way homes too, you know just cause he's better than that scum.

      • Lot

        Tips are expected because most servers are paid under minimum wage because they are in a "tipped profession". Those tips mean rent and food.

    • tralfaz

      I hope he goes back so he can get the special sauce.

    • bollyver

      Zack, this means service was slow. Did you engage with this customer and explain why? or did you wait on another customer who came in after this one?

    • Jeff

      The main problem is that a lot of people haven't worked as a server and have no idea that servers are only paid $2.13 an hour. Any time I've had a discussion about this there's always someone in the circle that shocked and assumed for years that their waitress was getting $7-10/hr + their tips.

      • Haywood

        That's only true where you live. In San Francisco servers make minimum wage, around $10/hr.

        • JMick

          actually assbag… its true in most places.. SF is the exception…

          • Yea Yea

            Agreed. My wife is a server and only makes around $2.13 an hour also in KY. I have friends that work in OH, and TN as well and it's the same. People always think that servers make minimum wage, and they don't. They live of tips.

            • Chris

              I worked as a server in KY and CA…2.13

              • Pete

                And this, kids, is why you want to get a job as anything other than a server until the market wakes up and starts paying a sensible wage.

                Also, don't do drugs. Mmkay?

        • KSinz

          It depends on the location AND the place. There is a lot of creative loop holing to ensure that you can pay servers less. Not to mention, your tip rarely just goes to one person. They gotta pay out at least the busser and the bartender. And lets be real, even at $10 a hour plus tips, in San Fran your probably still sharing a studio apartment with like 3 other people.

          It's just so bogus to crap on some dude who just sucked it up and smiled and waited on what I can only assume is candidate for Assclown of the Year, just to have him spit on this guy with one last time with this VERY distasteful note.

          • trooperjoe73

            I've seen some GREEDY waiters/waitresses not pay anything to bus boys/bartenders. As long as it's cash, they get greedy, real quick. Now, that I have a career, I always tip beyond generously to a great waiter. The bad ones get nothing!! The terrible ones get nothing, complained on (on the way out), and I refuse to eat there again!

            You read this pic and assume the guy was a douche. It could very well be that the waiter was a douche. Don't like your job? Get a better one, NEVER complain about your job, that you picked!

            • Dirty Dingus

              Exactly. The firs thing I thought, was that the server was probably talking/texting on their phone when they should have been working.

      • dubious

        Depends on the state. In Washington servers get $10/hr just like any other employee. So they probably should get smaller tips than someone working in Georgia but they don't.

        • nosebleed

          holy fuck $10 an hour? Just like every other employee? Must be nice, minimum wage in texas is 7.25

    • Darksoul

      You can have all the money in the world and still be poor.

      • What?

        No you can't.

      • stonedome

        I think what darksoul was getting at is that if you have all the money in the world, it is virtually useless as no one else has any, therefore it loses its value.

        • Underbaker

          Actually I think you went a little too deep. How about this, just because you're rich don't mean you're happy. (poor in spirit)

          • qwerty

            That's what she…oh dammit. Too easy.

    • Glenn

      If you're going to stiff a server (DON'T!), why would you use a friggin' credit card where the server can get your name??? My dad did this once on vacation at a resort restaurant and had his car keyed. If you have anything other than a plain-jane name, your address can be located very easily on the interwebs!

      • dubious

        So what your saying is servers are dicks that key cars?? That sound like extortion not service with a smile.

      • nosebleed

        Actually, since the dumbshit paid with a card, the waiter could add any tip he feels like.

    • Bobby

      It seems obvious that the service was poor and slow. If the customer had no reason to not tip, he wouldn't have left the note. Service in this country has really gone downhill in general. I don't remember the last time my server actually earned their tip.

      • Yea Yea

        Not really, some people are just Dicks!

    • galm666

      Someone will always make more than the next guy – so does this mean that Mr. No-Tip should be mistreated by the next richer guy?

      Bet Mr. No-Tip wouldn't think so.

    • dubious

      Was the service you provided worth something extra?

    • Brian

      For a "rich" asshole, he is still going out on the cheap. 30 bucks at the Austin Grill? Wooohoooo!

    • Brian

      Asshole.

    • Shakes

      Big difference between leaving no tip and writing this bull shit…..

      I would have been fired after responding to this POS.

      • linecook

        Actually according to a ruling by the Supreme Court, irregardless of what is ordered Servers are taxed on 15% of the total sale. So despite if they are making minimum wage they are still taxed on 15% of total sales on their paychecks. So when assholes like that don't pay anything that person made less than minimum wage for that probable hour of service.

        I understand that the ruling was a direct result of servers and restaurants not reporting tips properly. Either way just pay 15% as a rule. They still see none of that money.

        And for the grammar nazis yes irregardless is a word. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/irregardle

        • Reality

          Regardless, it's still redundant. The suffix "less" at the end of the word already makes the word negative. So, adding "ir" to the beginning of an already negative word…well, why? Perhaps you desire conflict?

    • MacNCheesePro

      Next time he comes in, you must post pics of what you did to his food! I think the best thing would be to do what Deniro did in "Analyze That" when an "old friend" of his insulted him for working in a restaurant.

    • Red

      Prick. Must be a lawyer.

    • jeff

      Seems like everyone missed the point here, "my time is worth more than yours"… means you wasted his time.. you took too long..

    • Theresa

      At the place I used to work at in PA it was $2.83 an hour. Clearly that asshole has never worked in a restaurant. He was the one who wanted to go to a restaurant instead of going to Wawa or Wendys, therefore you leave some sort of gratuity, you cheap schmuck.

  • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

    #18 that bird is a cockatiel asshats! AND THEY RULE!

    Hugs,
    Paula
    – # 1 commenter of 2012

    • Pudge

      you're right on this one, but you're still a twat

    • Maby baby

      Damn Paula, you are really losing your touch.. I feel bad for you son i got 99 problems but Paula ain't one!

    • Commando00

      ……you said Cock…..

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        …and ass. And shat. It's all in there.

        Hugs,
        Paula
        – # 1 commenter of 2012

        • Commando00

          and hats…..

          hey it's a four-lettered word……

  • Callie T Chiver

    So close^^^^^

  • etcrr

    #13 hot, Beautiful and sexy and a ballerina too, made my morning

    • Interpol

      make my morning and PLEASE stop posting on this site. You author THE most mundane comments on the internets. Just because you can comment, doesn't mean you should. PLEASE STOP. Your shit is old & busted.

      • etcrr

        You'd have to pay me not to post on this site and trust me, you can't afford it

      • bob

        lol, internets

      • Guse

        You're kind of a douche, aren't you?

      • Above AVERAGE

        Really? A comment on the uselessness of a comment? ReallYY!?!

    • JT Mo-Nay

      She's gorgeous, she's flexible, she's sexy, but those feet are most likely BUSTED.

      Busted ass feet are a big turn off for me. So no thank you.

  • the mac

    #10 the devil has her!

    • Bob

      I thought it was Chucky

      • http://facebook.com/daaneskjold Chazz_B

        Find the girl on the left, she is cute

    • Baby Edge

      I got away with it……..killing the alligator….

  • Greg

    #3 you can tell he's a male cheerleader cause he isn't looking up…

    • Jilop

      Or maybe there is a photographer in here 😉

      • Anon

        Yah… it could also be that he has seen it many times and is posing for a picture but yah…

    • Dude

      He's gonna have to look at it for the rest of his life, I can relate

      • Anon

        poor him. Hot wife who he "has" to be with. SHAME

        • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=584716338 Misty Nelson

          Most definitely a male cheerleader poor him when he has to explain to his kids latter in life lol

          • DrROBOTO

            ^ hot

    • Taco_Depot

      Well, he is getting married to her.

    • elbruces

      I was thinking they must both be cheerleaders, because otherwise that picture would probably end in disaster and look far more hilarious. That's probably not as easy as it looks.

    • Yuh

      He's holding his beard over his head.

  • not ur girl

    #11- Handjob warmer?

    • McG

      That was my first thought…

    • The_Dood

      If you like rug burn I suppose…

    • http://facebook.com/daaneskjold Chazz_B

      A regular glove does the same trick without looking like a perverted hand puppet

  • alexsmart

    #16 didnt he waste more time writing that than simply giving you a tip?

    • VanIsleChiver

      could be a she too …… some chicks are cheap

      • Guse

        Just my experience as a waiter in college: women were much more likely to stiff me than guys. That also seemed to be especially true if the server was a woman, too.

        This isn't a universal truth, but it's what I observed over 2 years.

        • newscot

          Agreed Guse. Also, I found that very attractive women, on average, stiffed me more – they're not used to paying for their own drinks.
          Although that does look like a guy's handwriting.

          • Dave's not here man

            In my experience male servers are worse than females because, well bewbs for one, but also women are friendlier and have nicer printing.

  • That guy...

    #11 Great idea! I didn't want to get laid anyway…

    • Jay

      Turn the mitt around and break out some hand lotion and we've got something here.

  • Dr. Richard Cabeza

    #10 Reddddddd Rummmmmmm!!!

  • Rollout25

    #25 I was trying to go to Pismo Beach

    • NcouthYouth

      Should have made a left turn at Albuquerque

    • mook

      why would he read the operation instructions for geographical directions?

  • etcrr

    #23 guy in a wheel chair rocks, he foiled a robbery

    • etsucks

      great observation. you should be a cop.

      • myself

        You call etcrr out in another post for dare devil and say nothing about the use of foiled? At least try and go for some consistency when you harass another poster.

    • Smokey

      Guy who lets a guy in a wheelchair take the other guy down, then hits him with the wet floor sign is awesome.

      • Anon

        haha yah I laughed. He was so brave 😉

    • truth

      If the guy in the wheelchair could do a chokehold submission, this would have been a 5 second event.

    • Officer Joe

      "Bring it on!"

    • Franklin1138

      Like a fucking boss!

    • nananamatman

      I didn't realize this was a funny GIF till cashier launched down the aisle.

    • 2cool4skool

      #23 Must need a wheelchair to cart around massive balls.

  • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

    #13 FAKE! She's out of balance.

    Hugs,
    Paula
    – # 1 commenter of 2012

    • Mark

      Shut up, Meg.

    • jij

      actually I think she's right

      • Joey

        She's transferring her weight onto her heel, and leaning slightly forward. It could work.

    • kenny

      I have a feeling paula's very obese

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        I'm so obese I eat obese people for breakfast!

        Hugs,
        Paula
        – # 1 commenter of 2012

    • monoxxide

      maybe the room is tilted

  • Damien

    #11 at first glance….you know what never mind.

    • luckyB

      i thought the same thing….

  • stewie the pocket rocket

    Vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvzzzzzzzzzzzz

  • Me.

    #16 Pray for him to come back in.. plan horrible things to do to his meal in the meantime.

    • Jay

      Revenge is a dish best served spermy.

    • mac

      next time you see him take a picture and post it so he can't ever go out to eat safely again. Then he can spend his valuable time cooking his own damn food.

    • jim

      I'd wipe my ass with his hamburger bun if he ever came back in…

  • Steverino

    That dude with the wet floor sign is the true bad ass here…
    #23

    • theonehodge

      Joe from Family guy…"LET'S DO THIS!"

    • Chris

      I don't know who I'd be more embarrassed to be, the robber who got his ass kicked by the guy in the wheelchair or the fag who gives him a light spanking.

      • poop

        the *hero* who gives him a light spanking haha

  • NRG

    #25 Let me just enjoy my book for 10 minutes 😀

    • fnaah

      You seem to be missing the joke, the book appears to be an FA-18 owner's manual.

      "Congratulations on your purchase of hte McDonnell Douglas FA-18 Super Hornet. With careful maintenance, you should be able to enjoy many years of efficient warmongering…"

      • fnaah

        er… and by F18 Hornet, I meant F14 Tomcat… kinda hard to tell, really.

  • That guy...

    #20 I dug thee Kobayashi bear.

    • FartherFurther

      Another show by Bear Grylls

  • PretendIm20

    #21 be my friend?

    • SJay

      21st birthday 21st photo. Coincidence? I think not.

    • EEES1897

      Im not lieing but that is my picture of beer i got for a present. It is 21 ten dollar bills wrapped around it. I have no clue who posted it and i am trying to figure it out.

    • Lint6

      Looks like Yuengling…I think Black and Tan..good stuff right there

  • Superman

    #23 Christopher Reeves still has it!

    • Superman

      Oh shit.. honestly didn't know he passed. Ignore my comment.

    • Wet_tosti

      No he hasn't, hes dead!

    • john

      awkward….

  • really?

    #23 "im gonna spank this guy with the wet floor sign. that will show him"

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