Daily Morning Awesomeness (25 Photos)

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  • eman

    #3 I am obsessing over a dead person. WTF's wrong with me?

    • Jawbone

      You see dead people.

    • Bazz

      You have a small penis and you smell funny.

    • mihaisuzuki

      I don't know what you have been smoking but trust me when i say this: The DINO had nothing to do with it.

  • Still_Counts

    Sorry Chive but Shay Maria's new video is way awesomer than most of these pics…

    • TheMoose03

      Damn it, move, google ads!

    • VileThings

      I respectfully disagree. They are both awesome.

    • jedi

      Shay is amazing! I believe its time for another post from our favorite chivette

      • TheAutomaticMan

        LG is nowhere in that video…. how did Shay and our favorite chivette get confused?

      • trollface.jpg

        pancake boobs

        • trollface.jpg

          mexican pancake boobs.

    • Guse

      Maybe I'm the only one on this, but that woman is 10x hotter when she's not trying to look sexy. In her posts, the best pictures aren't the ones where she's staring seductively… they're the ones where she wearing a goofy hat or laughing about something.

      She's freakin' amazing, though…

      • It's420Somewhere

        I agree. It's sad to see someone try so hard.

    • sheeeeesh

      Here come the pussy worshipers. Keep calm and whore on !

    • TheAutomaticMan

      I don't understand why these videos are so popular….. she's hot and all, but she is f'ing up our ability to watch her awesome breastesis bounce and jiggle by cutting up the footage. I'd rather see her in a normal video.

      • ROK247

        yes STOP THE FLIPBOOK BS it's not cool.

      • asdfg

        i say make a "things that bounce ___day" post… cuz we all like to watch breastesis bounce and jiggle

        • TheAutomaticMan

          You sir, are a leader.

    • WHATEVER

      WHATEVER, IF YOU WANT TO SEE SEXY LOOK AT MELANIE IGLESIAS FLIPBOOK VIDEO

    • Really?

      Some semi-cute girl acting stupid for a camera?

    • DoomsDayDub

      Shay is gorgeous, but seeing more of the lollipop than the bootypop is a thumbs down, sorry.

    • JeremyRyan

      I want that in my mouth…

    • captain thunderbolt

      Yeah she is hot , BUT those stupid hipster sunnies make her look pretty shitty…

  • crooked

    first bitches!!!!

    • Djsammyskillz

      nooo, you were 3rd

    • Ralph

      Fail

  • TheMoose03

    #8 Oh shit! That's disturbing.

    • myself

      Extremely.

    • mhuard5

      I kept nervously waiting for the person to move.

    • Djsammyskillz

      you wake up in the middle of the night to see your tv floating in front of you, what do you say?

    • Underbaker

      Ninja trainee, you are almost there.

    • SARmedic

      Ninja – level 2

  • Mad Hittman

    #24 Travis Pastrana is one crazy bastard who eats awesome for breakfast.

    • ikeepitreal

      I'm tweaking about the end of this video! I need to see the rest of it and know what happens

    • Bows
      • Woody

        Thanks Bows

    • ROK247

      nitro circus was a pretty awesome show, too bad they didnt make more episodes.

    • Eddiehouse

      Littering aaaaand…? Littering aaaaang…?

      • Markus

        Smokin the reefer

    • Sage Rage

      Good thing there's a Nitro Circus movie coming out! Here is the trailer.


  • Der

    #1 "Officer Doofy reporting for duty"

    • Brutal Deluxe

      This car should be assigned to only the very fattest patrolmen for maximum comic effect

      • Djsammyskillz

        Paul Blart, Mall cop

    • OJisInnosent

      license and registration chicken fucker!

    • Underbaker

      I could see Barney driving one of those…

  • etcrr

    #18 she is so cute, she tries so hard

  • pop

    #3 So that's whats at area 51

  • http://cinemaplastique.tumblr.com MigraineBoy

    #26 Mr. Hanky?

  • Frank

    #22 – The Machine take over begins.

    • etcrr

      It has been for the last 20 years but now is starting to go public

    • rustinpeace

      Yea. Great idea. Take away more jobs. The franchise owner must be a democrat.

      • grizzlet

        Probably true, but at least the dip shit behind the counter won't dick up your order.

        • Jak

          Yeah, I hate when the dick up my food! Good call on the machine!

      • douche

        "took away" a minimum wage job that no one can support themselves or family with but the company providing the machines is creating tech, engineering and manufacturing jobs. must be democrat…..they tuk ar jobs!

        • Dan

          Yeah, fuck anyone who doesn't have a college degree!

          • douche

            since when do manufacturing jobs need college degrees?

        • evilfro

          creating engineering and manufacturing jobs? … its a few guys sitting at a computer and one guy watching other machines make this thing. yes its making thing simpler and faster but non the less it dose take jobs away from those who are willing to work them al tho most of the time they are half whits.

    • Wallace

      Let them take over. At least, your order will be correct.

      • Ramrod

        You still won't get your ranch dip

      • Leeks

        A person working a cash register can answer questions, and actually help customers.

        A machine can confuse the fuck out of the old person ahead of you in line, and make you wait forever til a worker comes and helps them.

        As an addition to traditional cashiers this is great. As a replacement it would lead to lots of anger as competent people get stuck behind all the morons of the world.

    • Rastamon

      I think it's a great idea. You could take more orders so you'd need to employ more in the kitchen making the food. PLUS, because you get what you ordered and assuming the product is good the restaurant will become more busy requiring more employees. You can then expand with new locations – adding jobs to build the restaurant and employing more people. Did I mention I work for the company that sells these machines?

      • Underbaker

        Have you seen how slow the lines are at the Self-Checkout registers? And I love how everyone assumes it wasn't the cook who screwed up the order in the first place.

    • Dr_StrangePants

      for me, it's not the question of efficiency
      I'm starting to realize how annoyed I get when a friend calls me instead of sending me a text message.
      I hate to sound like some Luddite old man, but maybe this is all making us a tad more anti-social

      • Blumpkin

        If everyone is anti-social, then what are the punk-rockers, goths and emo kids going to do?

    • Tempest

      Am I the only one who remembers that Arby's tested this system in the mid 90s? Just stand in line behind a 70-year-old man for 20 minutes and then tell me all about how efficient and amazing this thing is. Or, just wait a month till the touch screen gets worn and won't let you order that double cheese burger the pot is demanding and the one person still employed behind the counter is still busy helping that same 70-year-old order a milkshake at the next machine. That, or you'll just realize that going through 3-5 menus to order each item you want really isn't all that efficient after all, especially when you're stoned and change your mind 3 times about whether you want a taco or a burger and each time you have to call over that single employee to remove the last item from your order. O, and there are still PLENTY of people back there to screw up your order, now you'll just have a harder time returning it to be fixed since, once again, there's no one behind the counter. I've been the test market for this one. I know.

      • jasgat66

        ^ What Tempest said..

    • Chivacy Please

      At least the machine speaks English….

      • the other OTHER Jen

        they have these at WaWa and they are fucking awesome

    • libussa

      I don't know about other countries, but in France every Mc Donalds has those for 5 years now… and every major fast food chain has it too…

      • Krauter

        yes and in France it is very usefull because fu*king french employees dont give a fu*k about hungry clients who have to wait 30 minutes or longer only to place their order.
        And fu*king french dont even understand the english spoken names of the burgers.. the machines understand touching pictures on a touchscreen in all languages.
        Because of that and because these machines destroy jobs, I use them only in france!

    • the devil

      Yeah, it's okay…until the machine asks if your name is Sarah Connor…

  • Mad Hittman

    #5 You can't explain that (to mom)

  • iamawesome

    #26 Looks like the back of his head is being attacked by a giant turd

    • grrg

      fuck rite aid

  • MattKL

    #8 Ninjas: they don't wear only black.

    • Fillingoop

      yes they do, dumb bitch. The boys chamilcinian!!!

    • thedude325

      If this was a ninja…you wouldn't see anything

  • etcrr

    #7 #14 made me laugh

    • Munokhoi

      #7, they see me roll'n…

  • dashete

    #19 We work so hard to work less hard.

    • g3nXsLack3r

      Because what kind of hand could possibly hold 3 bags…at once?

    • Terri

      I've actually got one – It's goofy but it keeps the handle from cutting into your hand when you buy heavy stuff.

      • drewplp

        But those aren't even plastic bags, they're fabric.

    • drewplp

      What a pussy!

    • John

      Its called The Baggler

      • asb

        how can we invent more plastic to go with this plastic

    • Zac

      two trips is for pussies and so is this… I'm just sayin.

  • misainzig

    #18 might be the cutest thing ever. I'll get back to you…

  • myself

    #3 and the next time I am driving along a desolate road at night alone this will be running through my mind. Hoping it would happen.

    • fed

      try to explain that to the insurance…

  • beng

    Best day of the week, bring on the HUMPS, chive!!!

  • Seldi84

    #18 #20 #21 made me smile.

  • JimmyBoPeep

    Today on the streetcar there was a man loudly playing a Nickelback song through speakers. The driver of the streetcar stopped, and demanded the man stop playing his crap music or else he wasn't moving,. The man sheepishly agreed and turned off his speakers, allowing the driver to go on. I call this a win if I ever heard one. This of course got applause as well. Oh my, how the world hates Nickelback.

    • etcrr

      or hates obnoxious people? +1 though

    • ImpressMe

      So much so that they sell out concerts all over the world….and make millions of dollars every stinking year….. whats your point?

      • SpacemanSpiff

        hi new person

  • g3nXsLack3r

    #22 Brilliant? Apparently, you've never been in the self-checkout line at the grocery store behind the person who still can't even figure out the clock on their car's dashboard and takes 8 minutes to buy 4 items.

    • whyme1973

      On the other hand, the machine can probably make correct change, unlike most of the rocket surgeons that work behind the counter of fast food joints who thought math was dumb in school.

      • Dcolbert

        Yeah… things will be so much better when we put the economic bottom dwellers out of jobs. But, scores of homeless and rising crime rates are a small price to pay for cheaper burgers, increased profits for corporations and franchise owners, and correct change…

      • cormacmc

        Rocket Surgeons! HA!

        • Underbaker

          And don't get it confused with the Brain Science.

          • the other OTHER Jen

            im going to hell for this – old people using anything electronic (credit car machine, car, phones) get on my fucking nerves.

            • Underbaker

              I may be old, but I am also an IT guy whose job keeps him on the cutting edge of tech, I can install your credit card machine, get your IPOD to talk to your car and reload your android phone unlocking its full capability. It may not be Brain Surgery or Rocket Science but it gets me by.

            • Fat Bastard

              good thing you have no clue what you're talking about I know 90 year old people that could run rings around you for intelligence

  • whydidijointhis

    Oh. I thought #26 simply had a raccoon on his head.

    • cookiejar45

      One does not simply have a raccoon on the head

  • abc123

    Still up studying for a medical school final in 30 hours. Thanks Chive for keeping me calm…

    • Frank

      Good Luck Doctor.

    • Mister

      Good Luck dude….but to point out, the chive really won't help with studying

  • screamer2703

    #11 Old school Photoshop

  • Zappa

    #24 epitome of awesomeness!!!

    • MattKL

      You're sayin' the FBI's gonna pay me to learn to surf?

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