Daily Morning Awesomeness (30 Photos)

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  • scotology

    #35 And also with you.

    • MattKL

      "Can we wrap this up? Got some sinnin' to do."

    • http://twitter.com/Manningn @Manningn

      Definite wife material.

      • https://www.facebook.com/Justbad311 Justin Rutherford

        If you like your wife to be a man sure….

        • Toaster

          I'm glad I'm not the only one who was sensing that disturbance in the force.

          • NcouthYouth

            There are definitely some.. strong features there.

            • Jack

              Like the jaw line? And the male wedding band?

              • whaaat

                and the giant calf muscles..

        • tag

          haha, I was thinking, "…does anyone else think that's a dude?"

    • Kodos

      somethin' ain't right here…

    • Doug

      Go troll somewhere else….0 f##k given to what you wrote above.

    • comfyslinky

      *You're* fucking moron.

    • chrisF

      tl;dr

    • Sithiness

      Tomorrow is Revenge of the 5th

    • Scott

      …relax…that's a dude.

    • sheoncebelieved

      Today's my birthday…and I love you

    • brian

      #35 looks like a man

  • Blake

    #6 right there with ya

    • Babooshka

      Those wild Russian ladies..

      • Brutal Deluxe

        So I was out with these two crazy Russian chicks… No, swear to God…

    • Nishtai

      Chronic Grannies

    • not you

      It's good for arthritis too!

  • Trav1121

    #3, #8 and #35 have started my Friday morning off right! Fantastic, hilarious and May the 4th be with you all!

    • 16inchzipper

      I concur.

    • NOLA

      Trav, first of all, great name. It is reserved for the coolest. Second, I concur. Nickelback sucks major donkey dick.

  • 2Dogs

    #15
    The shithawks must be huge there

  • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

    Good morning my dearest minions, did you sleep well? Let me kick-start your Friday a bit…

    FFfJJjjjiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiI….
    HhhHhiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiI…
    FFffFFffffffftttttHHHHHsies!!!!

    Hugs,
    Paula
    – Fan testimonial: "Isn't there a way for the chive to ban this a$$hole? – Tired of her $hit"

    • Trav1121

      Oooooh so close! At least you get a two-fer: dumb and wrong! Happy Friday, Paula, you dirty, rotten scoundrel!

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        Oh learn to read asshat; it's all there in plain UK/US English. It says: "Fifth".

        <img src="http://i.imgur.com/wY50N.jpg?1"&gt;
        Hugs,
        Paula
        – Fan testimonial: "I hate everything that you choose to be. You are just awful. Stop breathing. You are stealing air that could be used on real people. You are an oxygen thief. – buck"

        • Trav1121

          Hahaha I stand by my statement: Dumb and Wrong! I wasn't referring to the comment, as much as the commenter-ette and 'her' being so close to grasping language. Maybe one day, lil monkey. Don't give up hope!

    • Luke0027

      paula, quit being such a gap tooth crack whore. thanks

    • Tyler

      I can't help but laugh every time I see the troll picture. You're not trying hard enough.

    • J.Holmes

      Awww, the attention whore dropped by for a visit!

      How many cocks you got up your ass today, Paula?

  • etcrr

    #12 Fallout 3 FTW

    • taylor

      Or is it Warhammer 40K space marine with a auto cannon?

      • Timmer

        Definatly not, the shoulder pads aren't rounded

    • https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=722809282 Oliver Vorian Wang

      The Heavy from Team Fortress 2… If he were American and 250 years old.

      • 0331

        Hell, I thought it was Darth Terminator.

    • G-Note77

      My first thought was knees appear to be the weak point. Shoot it there to take it down!! Who says video games teach you nothing??

    • Fallout Player

      It's from the Fallout Series… Fallout 3 for sure, part of the Brotherhood of Steel.

      • http://twitter.com/GamerKitty84 @GamerKitty84

        oh Fallout 3…sooooo good ❤

    • http://markalmighty.com Mark Almighty

      Yep, definitely Brotherhood of Steel from Fallout. I went as a Vault Dweller to last year's DragonCon. There were 3 BoS soldiers there in amazing power suits. I wonder if this was one of them.

    • Si1entStatic

      Skyrim + Fallout 3 = never seeing daylight and the days start blurring together.
      <img src="http://i1056.photobucket.com/albums/t376/Si1entstatic/SkyrimChick.jpg&quot; border="0" alt="Photobucket">

  • Chiver

    #3 great gap to start off a Friday morning!

    • http://www.facebook.com/jretrac Jason Carter

      First thing I noticed was the missing beers.

      • Dr. Awcmon

        I'm sorry, Jason, but your test results came back and…….

    • Chivertoo

      My first thought was go back and bring me a better beer.

  • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

    #28 HOW many girls and HOW many cups!??!?!!?

    This is gonna be awesome!!1! Bring on the faeces!!1! ❤ Drooling already….

    Hugs,
    Paula
    – the one you love to hate

    • Mike

      dont worry….we assigned you clean up duty already 😉

    • PAULAISACUNT

      Paula…. FUCK OFF!. The Chive and all Chivers hate you. Please die today in a car accident or from a heart attack. Your mother is a whore.

      • rromero

        Dude, I don't like her (actually she could be a fat guy on the other side of the Internet, who knows…) but I don't wish her to die or anything, I just want her to stop posting dumb shit that no one wants to read.

        the 'Your mother is a whore' insult was okay though lol

        happy Friday to everyone and Chive On!!!

  • Rollout25

    #17 The Cat has a better vertical then LeBron

    • AJ Rantz

      um hes a cat… most of them do

      • Hunter X

        If the cat can keep from choking on a fur-ball in the 4th quarter- he's got a job.

    • GrammarDick

      *than

  • MattKL

    #3 #35 Now THAT'S a good start to a Friday!

    • https://www.facebook.com/Justbad311 Justin Rutherford

      Ya if you like to start your Friday's off with a man dressed up like a women sure…

      • She

        i was thinking the same. those shoulders and that jawline are a bit questionable…

  • red solo cup

    # 19 Nailed it!

    • https://www.facebook.com/Justbad311 Justin Rutherford

      You fail….

    • red solo cup

      #19 Nailed it again!

  • Heather

    #16

    Please don't be real!

    • 2Dogs

      Look at the "common string" holding it up…looks to me like thats just a close up of tonights appetizer.

      • https://www.facebook.com/Justbad311 Justin Rutherford

        Or it's really thick rope because it has to hold up a 900 pound flying fox…

        • mike

          they can weigh up to 2.5lbs..

    • mcfadinj

      Hate to say it, but it is. I had to look it up just to be sure. Let the bed-pissing nightmares commence!

      • https://www.facebook.com/hannah.fontenot Hannah Fontenot

        The perspective is off in this photo. Look at the hunting knife above the bat. Either it belongs to a giant which also exists there or the more logical reason is that it was staged to look larger than it truly is.

        • Heather

          Perspective might be off but apparently this damn things can have wingspans up to 5.5 feet wide, which is about 5 feet to damn big in my opinion.

          • Heather

            *These

            • AmBush_Steve

              You forgot to fix the too to.

              • longshot421

                So did you. 😉

                • AmBush_Steve

                  Ouch, Touché

                • Jos

                  I met to hit like but hit unlike by mistake…. So, "like"

      • SMT

        It is real, and they can get up to 5.5 feet wingspan. But the perspective is throwing this off. look where the bamboo that is holding it up goes into the ground.

    • That's Questionable

      WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW?!?!

      • 2Dogs

        I LOL'D

    • Ron

      It only eats fruit.

      • AmBush_Steve

        Leaf fans beware.

    • Buzz Kill

      It is real, but… and let the shit storm of hate begin… its becoming extinct… So, this kind of sucks that this is just a photo of poachers hunting an endangered species… Which I'm sure all the chive 'mericans will be like "fuck yeah!" and "who gives a fuck, kill it" or "that thing is gross, Id kill it if i wasn't stuck behind my computer talking about doing things I'll never do!!!"… and Blah blah blah blah… But I wont argue with you, because you can call a dipshit smart, but he's still a dipshit.
      3
      2
      1
      GO!

      • George

        Good news! 1 hour passed, no shit storm yet!

      • LucretiusCarus

        This is almost surely just some forced-aspect ratio thing. The bat is probably foreground compared to everything else. As someone pointed out above, the knife is huge if we're to believe this bat is actually this size.

        No matter what it's definitely crap that people are hunting fruit bats that are already endangered. Especially since they're partly responsible for keeping the rain forests alive by pollinating with their droppings.

        • Idius

          I know you couldn't get me within 50 feet of that thing (if it is real) without a blade at least two feet long. I mean LOOK AT IT!!! It is like the thing from Jeepers Creepers cousin or something!

          • LucretiusCarus

            Unless you're a banana or a mango you've got nothing to fear. Are you a banana or a mango?

            • SMT

              I am a ba-na-na!

              • LucretiusCarus

                My spoon is too big!

                Well played.

      • Herb

        way to take a random pic to insult America. Troll much?

      • http://twitter.com/McBeastie666 @McBeastie666

        "But I wont argue with you, because you can call a dipshit smart, but he's still a dipshit."

        I love that. Start shit and then act like you're above it all. Go fuck yourself.

    • CastorPIS

      omg it's el chupacabra 😀

      • Dr_StrangePants

        Nay. Tis the Jersey Devil

        • CastorPIS

          Jersey Devil or someone from Jersey Shore? 😀

    • 0331

      They're real, and taste good.

      • AmBush_Steve

        Who's boobs are we talking about?

    • Otheyare

      According to Wki they are real
      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giant_golden-crowned

    • Steve

      Cant b, just now were hearing about this

  • Logicyup

    #1 Hulk baby smash! Also, merry Friday everyone, may work be quick, bosses not be a dick, and the liquor flow freely.

    • mcfadinj

      Perfect time to put Hulk gloves on a baby is when they are taking a dump.

      • tralfaz

        HULK POOP!

    • The Bob

      Who would have thought constipation would make one Hulk-out…

  • etcrr

    #31 is the definition of frustration

    • etcrr's goat

      you are the definition of "botched abortion"

      • tcja4

        You're disturbed, etcrr's goat.

    • Dr_StrangePants

      I want my baby back baby back baby back baby back
      I want my baby back baby back baby back baby back
      I want my CHILE'S BABY-Back Ribs
      Bar-Be-Que Sauce!
      I Want My Baby Back RIBS…..

    • Ned_Plimpton

      Just because I don't like you…

      frustration – noun – a feeling of dissatisfaction, often accompanied by anxiety or depression, resulting from unfulfilled needs or unresolved problems.

      • Jon

        And not a single baby-sized f*uck was given that day

  • Rollout25

    #3 And Summer has started NOW

  • TylerG_76

    #34 Clever girl.

    • Sydawz

      Still a better love story that Twilight.

  • blub_glub

    #31 what i do with my bf when he's not looking

  • SBro

    #13 fucking love cake

    • https://www.facebook.com/Justbad311 Justin Rutherford

      That looks like the greatest cake ever made!

  • Hugh

    #1  GOODNIGHT, PUNY HUMAN!

    • Anras

      lol big bang ftw!

  • TokyoFace

    #16 … nothing to do here, movin along

    • Static

      thats nothing special… those thing avg 5ft wingspan. good thing they only eat FRUIT!!!

      • slixx

        I was hoping that it was smart enough to only hunt, kill and eat poachers.

  • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

    Elevator. Music.

    <img src="http://i.imgur.com/5qLXh.gif"&gt;
    Hugs,
    Paula
    – the one you love to hate

    • aussie aussie aussie

      If one of the editors of The Chive is calling you a douche bag maybe it`s time for you to give up the lame ass commenting now you old fool……..

      • Turbodude

        There are simply not enough thumbs for you today aussie sir…He just doesn't get it. He actually believes that Paula is a woman living in Amsterdam. Bwaaaaahahhahahahahaaaaa

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        Naaah, they wouldn't do that!

        Well, Bob might, but then again that is one hell of an oddly cursing bunny.

        BTW I deserve to have my own galleries don't you think? ❤

        Hugs,
        Paula
        – Fan testimonial: "Hmmm… I wish chivers would recognize your genious. – Paula's # 1 Fan"

    • facepalm

      Dear god stan ,for the love of god and for the mental balance of all the people on this site pls Fuck off.

  • Dantheloser

    #24 I don't know, you've got to admire this kid just a little bit. He's really, really passionate about what he does. Sure, what he does is pure evil, but he at least means it. Other characters on the show just dick around, not sure what to do. Jeoffrey knows it and wants it. I admire that in a person.

    • Dantheloser

      Sorry, that's Joffrey. I don't know the spelling of anyone's name on that show. I mean, "Daenerys"?

      • 2Dogs

        Tyrion Lannister doesnt "dick around" unless he's with a whore…just saying

      • http://www.cupcakesbymartha.com MarthaJeane

        Anya's pretty much a badass in her own right. She's got more balls than this little prick if you ask me.

        • Dantheloser

          Oh, I wasn't saying Joffrey's a badass. He's not. He's a dipshit. He's just passionate about what he does.
          And I agree with you completely about Arya. She is the single most badass character on that show, imo.

          • dirtysteve99

            Not passionate, warped and psychotic. Still you've got to give the actor props, he carries it off to a tee.

    • taylor

      In the books he really has no idea what he is doing… all he wants to do is beat sansa and act like the Mad King

    • f1junkie

      no idea who this person is

      • 2Dogs

        lol

      • She

        yep, same. had to look it up. suppose i'll have to start watching Game of Thrones.

    • Vladimir Putin

      He's a really good actor. The fact that we hate his character so much is proof of that.

      • Cantaloupe

        Heath Ledger as Joker is an example of good acting. Nobody hates the joker because he's done so well. A poorly acted villain results in hate.

        • Vic

          Not true. It all depends on the role, but take Joaquin Phoenix for example in the movie Gladiator. He does such a good job of being a pissy little bitch that we hate him in that movie. His portrayal of that character is what we hate, not the actor. Same goes for this kid. You may hate his acting, but a lot of us like his acting.

    • Cavok

      I fucking hate that kid. Great actor, but the character better die in a fire. I haven't read the books so I don't know what's gonna happen. But fuck do I hate him!

      • Cantaloupe

        I doubt his instructions were "Act like an annoying little cunt all the time". If they were, bravo.

      • SXO

        As someone who's read all the books, it's hard to hold my tongue to keep from spoiling anything for people. I can't wait until season 3 & 4 when $#!& really hits the fan just to see everyone's reaction to everything.

    • http://twitter.com/McBeastie666 @McBeastie666

      Hitler was passionate about what he did…do you admire him too?

      • mickey

        What a STAGGERINGLY stupid comment…

    • Eric

      Who "dicks around" on that show?

  • 1/2FunAndDon'tCry

    #35 kinda looks like a dude.

    • Ron

      It's that cross dresser from yesterday's post.

    • boyluvrchiver

      Stfu ,we chivers love this.

    • swg

      Really??? I guess you see what you want to see

      • tag

        Why would we want to see a dude in a female outfit?

        Look at the whole: The legs, the arms, the jaw, the hands, the stomach……its so obviously a dude, or one hell of a manly woman. You think those are tits? Any guy with some muscle/meat on their chest could squeeze their pecks together to make fake little tits like that.

        Clearly you see what YOU want to see.

  • Charlie_Cheen

    #34 Finally a movie I wouldn't complain about having to sit through with my wife.

    • trl87

      Still a better love story than Twilight

  • cookie

    #16 jeepers creapers is real AHHHHHH!!!!!

    • cookie

      *creepers……before the damn nazis get me

    • dominantone

      holy fuck!

    • mrjimmyos

      Dont worry, they eat fruit 😉

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