Daily Morning Awesomeness (30 Photos)

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  • Dr Farts

    #3 Did Raffi get a new car?

    • Dizzy

      Wonder if the clutch slips…

      • thepoopsmith

        is that the car from 'foxtrot unicorn charlie kilo'?

        • Spelling Police

          "Uniform," not "unicorn."

    • cereal

      I bet that thing can really peel out.

    • dashete

      Pretty sure that's a big yellow joint.

    • Yog

      Richard Scarry.

    • DaddyD

      I want a bunch.

      • Perkins Maxwell

        I dunno — that car's too fruity for me. On the plus side, if he takes too long to fill up and you're in the car behind you can yell "Goya big lumbering ape!"

        • Flox

          Yes, that's the plus side.

    • ancientlegacy

      And it shall be named…. COOL RUNNINGS!!!!

    • theword

      Dear Chive Staff and Chive Users:

      While I am not the original Mayer Jacoby, I am continuing his cause. Through emails with Mayer Jacoby, I’ve found that several people are taking up his/her cause where the name is more symbolic, and less a representation of a single person. To that end, I want to say the following:
      1)While the mayer jacoby anti-chive movement is very unpopular to some Chive folk, there is a growing population of individuals who post the rants and have expressed extreme disgust at the institutionalized racism by the Chive
      2)Many disgusted Chive users have tried to submit HUNDREDS of pictures representing African American and Minor ity women, and to no avail.
      3)While the rants with caps-lock is certainly annoying, it is important to continue this strategy to gain attention and recognition of the Chive’s racist practices
      4)There are horrible unspeakable emails from Chive users that will become public in due time. These emails exemplify some pretty stark racist, xenophobic, homophobic, and border-line threatening language. While we want to expose these individuals and potentially their employers, we have refrained. A tiger doesn’t change his stripes. So these racist idiots will continue to be racist.
      5)Before you bash Mayer Jacoby, think about what the movement is saying. Is it so wrong to integra te min orities into all posts? Separate is not equal.
      6)When the Chive does post pictures of black men and women, they perpetuate hateful stereotypes. Why not celebrate their intellect with some historical examples?
      7)We take offense to the “find her” gallery. This is a law-suit waiting to happen. It is just creepy to ask thousands of users to find the names of women. We have a growing number of scared women who have been contacted by you creepy chivers due to the “find her” gallery. THIS HAS TO GO.
      8)The Chive, while not directly racist, continues to practice institutionalized racism by featuring white/Aryan/blonde/blue eye girls as more attractive. Look how black men/women are portrayed. Hateful stereotypes.
      9)We are sick of the emails claiming BET, JET , and other black media is racis t. The reason those institutions exist is because BLACK PEOPLE ARE MI NORITIES. The rest of the media is white-tilted. Black individuals have been marginalized since the dawn of this country, these are important outlets to let their voices grow.
      10)We also take offense to the college galleries. These perpetuate the notion that US college students only drink and party. We need to celebrate diversity, education, and reward ideals related to striving for excellence. It’s also creepy that 40 year old men find pictures of 18 year old girls, and then ask users to “find them.”

      Thank you for your time,

      Mayer Jacoby

      today's racist user comment that is unedited https://twitter.com/#!/mayerjacoby/status/2049307

      today's racist user comment that is unedited https://twitter.com/#!/mayerjacoby/status/2049307

      today's racist user comment that is unedited https://twitter.com/#!/mayerjacoby/status/2049307

      I hate this website. The chive staffers act all self righteous and philanthropic, but what you really do is perpetuate stereotypes, marginalize black people, steal pictures from other websites, all in the name of some ridiculous brand, "KCCO." Get off your high horses and just admit you are 40 year old men who steal pictures, ask users to stalk women, and make fun of mi norities. You do nothing for society

      • Chiver#238976

        You're a dick too.
        If you don't like the site, start your own.

      • BSmike

        I'm sorry banana cars make you feel this way.

      • Einstein

        Did you ever think that the people that visit this site don't want to see minority women? Smart guy.

      • Fuck Mayer Jacoby

        Sounds like Reddit and 9gag are jealous of The Chive's success and starting a jihad. By the way, I suppose you haven't seen the "Black is beautiful" posts?

    • KalEl24

      I would like to see that thing drive into a tunnel.

  • hater
    • iheartboobs

      Right in the kisser!

  • thekid

    pools are great for holding water

    • Hot Rod

      Don't even ask JUST BRING IT!!!

      • Elyse.Nicole

        Soul of a bottle nosed dolphin

    • Jagoff

      So is your mom when she's on the rag.

  • aciekay

    #16 boss level: penguin.

    • Bonjo89

      There is no higher level

    • Young Comfy Jones

      Shouldn't it be…

      Penguin level: BOSS

      • tapsnapornap

        no

  • Rollout25

    #12 You get a lot of hop-ons with the staircar

    • JJJ

      amazing! I didn't even see this AD reference before I posted the comment two below about Mr Banagrabber! 'You're going to get me hop-ons'.

  • Lower

    #21 Total Aww.
    and the cats face is priceless, he clearly wants no part of it.

  • JJJ

    #3 is the car for Mr Bananagrabber….I hope there are Arrested Development chivers around!

    • http://twitter.com/BradDuncan31 @BradDuncan31

      He never should have given up animation rights…

    • TylerG_76

      There was money in the bannana stand!

  • TokyoFace

    #25 … owned

    • dashete

      Batman is hard on the midget scum of Gotham.

  • http://www.theChive.com Mack318

    #22 And to think we made it past Monday already

    • Dr_StrangePants

      my condolences to the dude who worked so hard on it 😦

  • ChiTownChiver

    #22 Moral of the story, tighten the nuts properly, you dumbass

  • Bonjo89

    #23
    …Poor guy had no idea what he was in for that night

    • Mattman

      We might have to find the girl on the right…

      • Andy

        I second that!

        • Anomanom

          I want a better picture of that dress.

      • TDub66

        Not if she's a llama rider

  • boomstick

    #1 'predator 4, predator settles down.'

    • misainzig

      Dude… how the fuck did you get so hilarious?

    • Dutch

      If it bleeds, we can fuck it.

    • Mack

      Proper use of the word 'beastiality'…

    • Master_Rahl

      Does anyone else think the Predator is marrying for a greencard?

  • Marios145

    #16 That's how we roll…haters gonna hate!!!

  • MattKL

    #19 Puppy, you are drunk.

    • cereal

      worst. beer. ever.

      • t(-.-t)

        = miller light

    • Winston C.

      "Yes, madam, I am. But in the morning I will be sober, and you will still be ugly."

  • hoby baker

    #8 Is that kid going bald already? Or is that the worst hillbilly cut of all time?

    • cereal

      I think he just wanted to look like his grandpa.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=654840083 Mike

      Or you know…they shaved his head to look like that. -_-

    • Si1entStatic

      I think that is the start of a mullet…. I've got bad news kid, your life will be amount to driving an Camaro IROC and sitting in your trailer drinking Natty Ice Light…… but best of luck to ya……

      • ummm...

        There is no Natty Ice Light, retard. There's Natural Light, and Natural Ice. Not to mention your complete failure to even grasp the joke of the kid's head being shaved and putting a finger on his upper lip to imitate a mustache and look like his grandpa. Your poor attempt at a joke at even the slightest degree of difficulty has failed.

        Go fall in a hole.

  • 3MC

    #23. Prom picture? Just a sec; let me get my FUCKING LLAMA.

    • ParasiticDrag

      Tina come get your dinner. Tina eat!!

    • Adam

      That was Llame.

  • Friar Tuck

    #23 MOAR of the girl on the right!!!

    • Scott

      Couldn't have said it better myself.

    • Anon

      I want the one in the brown/white dress in the middle. Looks like she doesn't have a date.

    • guest

      Include the Llama.

    • I_am_golf_c0m

      her "Tracker Story" is a little bit different …

    • Daniel Tosh

      I think we should wait till she turns 18

  • Rob Job

    #10 why exactly are we making special ed kids shred paper??

    • Grenadineflaps

      haha excellent question. mainly, to give them responsibility. partly, to delete proof of how our district wastes money

    • Rob Job

      is it like some conspiracy where you guys are shredding corporate documents? or is shredding paper like history for them?? idk. somethings off here.

      • Grenadineflaps

        no conspiracy here. we work with a severe class so shredding paper can often be a daunting task. it's mainly student files from along time ago. just to keep the class busy TBO

        • Underbaker

          Isn't this a life skill? Doesn't every big Corporation need some good shredders who have no idea what they are shredding?

          • Grenadineflaps

            yeah i wish positions like that were real. if so, they would all be filled by our students

            • h_something

              There is a company in the New jersey area called Shred-it. That is what they do. If there is not a company in your area that does that then there may be a hole in the market that you could fill. the only obstacle would be to get bonded. other then that all you need is a truck and a bunch of shredders.

              • Grenadineflaps

                oh really? that's awesome. i'll look into it.

        • h_something

          What does TBO mean, cause all I can think of is "To Be Honest."

          • Grenadineflaps

            you are correct 🙂

      • keystone183

        Probably off because you have no idea what you are talking about. Would you rather they sit in class and do nothing all day, so you can continue to feel sorry for them?

        • Aran

          why would they go to school if all they did was sit in a class and do nothing all day…

        • Grenadineflaps

          not exactly sure who or what your comment is referring to??

        • Grenadineflaps

          keystone, i get your comment now. you were referring to the "something seems off here".

  • http://twitter.com/jahrodnz @jahrodnz

    Bring back the British Chivette!!

  • Dan

    seems legit

  • antcruz

    I think we can all agree that #16 is a pengWIN! Get it! Ahahhhhh.. Uhm Ok I'm going to bed now.

  • Le Derp

    #15 I whip my hair back and forth

    • Chuckles The Clown

      LOL. Slayer goes to Church!!!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/erich.backhus Erich Backhus

    Thank you, Chive, for giving me something fun to do while I work the overnight shift. KCCO!

    • Troll

      Try reddit.com most of this is on there.

  • sodapants

    #3 Honk honk honk honk honk honk honk Banana Car

  • Bob Lee Swagger

    #19
    For god's sake if you're gonna get your puppy a beer, at least get him a GOOD beer!

    • ObiOne

      like PBR!

    • John Jameson

      Heineken? F@ck that sh!t. Pabst Blue Ribbon!

      • bzazz

        Fuck off ye hipsters.

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