Statistically, the odds are in your favor (21 Photos)

  • Tom

    Fitst? Not…

    • Tom

      How cant I be first if I can't even spell the damn word.

      • Tom

        Fuckk, meant to say CAN. I am such a derp.

      • noegod


        • Obama

          hey, so are your kids, and soulless ginger wife, but i ain't one to judge!

          • J.Biden

            Shouldn't you be golfing or, you know, ruining the economy?

            • U.p.92

              You mean be Bush?

          • noegod

            how nice, a first commenter has a girlfriend!

    • Eric D

      #13 What are the odds that I'll hit that hole in one?

    • Evil Johnny!!!

      You are really one of those people take that much pride trying to be the first person to comment on a post I see… What are you trying to prove? Your life revolves around the refresh button on your browser? You aren't putting a flag anywhere. You don't get a special prize for being first, or in your case "Fitst." I am just saying dude, there are more things you could be doing with your life….

  • ontherun1989

    #16 Challenge Accepted.

    • Phil

      Gianna Michaels, Shyla Stylez, Carmella Bing. I too enjoy pornography.

      • Ned Ryerson

        Bwhaha, BING!!!!!!!

        • JROC

          do a quick google on carmella bing…. woof

          • johnny

            Damn baby messin up my favorite star!

      • tv_paul

        I bow to you Sir, You are the rainman of porn.

      • Smalltown IL Chiver

        Gotta love

    • PapaB

      Gianna. . . mmm

  • Jimbozo

    #9 why is there a guy posing like one of my French girls in the back?!

    • Unfkngblvbl

      why did you have to point that out?!

    • guy posing

      I got news for you…

      • investigator 101

        and it's that you're not fitst!

        • chivefoundit

          You screwed that up on so many levels.

        • Unfkngblvbl

          I see what you did there.

          • kidn

            i don't.

            • Unfkngblvbl

              See the first comment here and you'll get it.

    • Oltimey

      The timeless art of seduction

    • Dick Salad

      Meh got two in one week last year. Sadly none of the other players (both times) had hands they'd actually commit to making a decent pot. The royal flush is the best hand possible but it rarely pays off half so well.

    • TheSimonizer

      That's how you play poker in France.

    • mrjimmyos

      Lmao I didn't spot this

  • Tom

    See, here, now I'm sitting by myself, errr, talking to myself. That's chaos theory.

    • YouAre anIdiot

      dude, go back to myspace

      • TheBAMFinater

        Dude, watch a movie.

        • Alan Grant

          yea bro JP rules.

  • Butts

    I liked the butts in that photo with the butts

    • ppssuu013

      That's one of the funniest things I've read. I think we'd get along

    • kidn

      i was drinking chocolate milk when i read that.

      teaches me to drink chocolate milk whilst scrolling the comments.

  • tenesmus

    Who the hell did these calculations?

    • negative nancy

      The internet.

    • Lev

      There's a conspicuous lack of source given…

    • guy

      Surely you can tell these numbers are made up, like No. 8 says 1 in 10,000,000 will be president. There something closer to 200,000,000 US citizens over the age of 35, so the it is more like 1 in 200,000,000 will be president.

      • dhost78

        But, over the average lifespan of an American (80-ish years) a new president could be elected every 4 years. That means that each person would have roughly 45 years to be eligible to become president (11.25 Presidential terms) So if there's 200,000,000 eligible citizens, that would actually be about 17,000,000 to 1 odds. Unless of course…..oh brb…have to poop.

        • Jared

          Assuming your the only one that ages in those 80 years and no one is born. A better example of how off these numbers are is being hit by Ron Artest 1/83,333. Assuming there are 6 billion people that means he has hit or will hit 72,000 people.

          • Tone Bone

            …sounds about right

        • dub

          LOL. Holy shit. Funny stuff.

        • dub

          hook, line, and floater.

      • Hendo

        Some are felons, some are not legal citizens and some weren't born in the US (all which disqualifies them from running).

    • SMT

      Chances that the odds are correct…1 in 354,297

      • guy

        100% of statistics are 60% made up

        • bazz

          All statistics are made up. 67% of people will tell you that.

    • JPL

      Gent enough with the ladies argument s…this is a UFC sponsored link….the 1 :7 000 000 000 chances of becoming a UFC champ is sort of a give away…. ie one heavyweight champion vs the worlds population and the UFC logo at the top…and in the background banner.

      someone please inser the Captain Picard facepalm pic for me please…

    • dennispartain

      a monkey

    • Derp

      Odds that these statistics are made up? 7 in 5

    • TheJesus

      60% of the time they work every time.

  • Jezdezpez

    Slow day at the chive today? Seriously…. MOAR quality!

  • raffy

    "So you're saying there's a chance?!"

    • Lloyd Christmas

      I desperately want to make love to a schoolboy…

    • Ted

      I hate when people mess famous lines in movies.

      • Ted

        I hate when I mess up my own line.

        • Lloyd Christmas

          so you're telling me there's a chance *is that what you meant*

          • kidn

            so you're telling me there *is* a chance?.. that someone will finally get that line right?


    • Woody

      Yes, Lloyd

    • Macro

      What was all that "one in a million talk"?

    • ct dude

      i think you have to get punched in the face by Metta World Peace first…

    • mrjimmyos

      oops, beaten to it XD

  • Jack P

    <img src=>#16 Sp exciting challenge, I would like to help them LoL<img src=>

  • Gomer

    Odds of reporting an accurate statistic
    1 in 87,100.

    • Nzrugger

      "never tell me the odds"
      -Han Solo

  • Av10

    That Tom guy (1st) is to fucking funny!!!

    • Kim

      I pissed my pants laughing

      • Brutal_Deluxe

        I pissed your pants, too. Looks like we have something in common.

  • jasonsapunka

    #10 Wait. What happens the other 388 times? A non-sexy pillow fight?

    • enyc

      unfortunately, only a threesom

    • Capt. Bo Jengles

      You remember the chick at the vending machine from the other posts?

  • Unfkngblvbl

    #7 Fuck me!

    • Taco_Depot

      according to my calculations that means around 90 chivers have been hit. and 4 are dating super models. SPEAK UP YOU CHOSEN FEW!

    • Underbaker

      With these odds and us hitting the 7 billion mark sometime in 2011 that means more then 2,187,500 people are going to be tagged in the face by falling satellites. Yeah right.

      • LoFromWisco

        something tells me a few more zeroes should be added to the end of that statistic.

    • ConstableDubs

      I think your face would be more than "tagged" if hit by a satellite on reentry.

    • @Satellite


    • Thedoctor

      So…. how many people have been attacked by sharks so far? Hundreds? How many have been hit in the face by a satellite? Zero. The internets have failed us.

  • doug the cat

    #2 So you're telling me there's a chance?

  • Dukes

    soooooo your sayin there"s a chance……………….

  • Oltimey

    #13…Which hole they talking about???

    • celticsquid

      I would go for any one of her holes!

  • thegrass

    #8 #21

    So you have nearly 10x better chance at being president than being a UFC champ? OK now, nice try

    • Professor

      700 times better according to these shit numbers.

    • Underbaker

      Not everyone on the planet can be a US President, you have to be born a US citizen first. But since the current US population is around 313,611,200 I think their numbers are a little low.

      • Vince-Kristin Aleman

        I think their numbers might be a little made up… but hey what do I know

      • Woop

        I think they are limiting it to the number people that are eligible to be considered. So no one too old or too young. Then they start the funnelling process to what education, political affliation etc but agreed, its all back of the envelope crap anyway.

        • Underbaker

          Well barring the charisma, backing, money, and all the other stuff needed to run for President, there are 3 rules listed in the Constitution to even be considered for the position.
          1. Born in the US or if abroad then both parents must be US citizens.
          2. Be age 35 or older (no upper limit)
          3. Live on US soil for 14 years (not stated if it has to be consecutive or not).

    • Cantaloupe

      I come up with 1 in 15,000,000 to become president
      1. you are eligible (over 35 and a US citizen)
      2. half of US citizens are eligible
      3. you get 10 chances (about 40 years between age 35 and dead)

      If there was only 1 UFC heavy weight champion every 75 years, you'd have about 1 in 7,000,000,000 chance, ignoring all the actual factors determining whether you'll be a UFC heavy weight champion.

      • Hunter

        There are 7 billion people on the planet, so 1 and 7000000000 is correct.

    • Adam

      Well, It's pretty obvious that any idiot can become president… but it takes talent and determination to be the UFC champ.

  • magrin

    so your telling me there's a chance

    • magrin

      i can be David Beckham?

  • Laramey

    MMA=Man on Man Action

    • Gmoney

      If thats yer thing dude…

    • nobody

      you sir, have a wild imagination

  • Bradyized

    #14 That's a negative Ghostrider…

    • Tom

      The pattern is full

  • Acesevens

    I would say those 3 ladies have higher odds for the 300 game than others.

  • SaltLakeChiver

    #10 – I wish….

  • vvv

    Most of those are completely wrong, including the last one.
    Simply statistically it assumes only one person can be the UFC champion in a lifetime.

    Do your homework before posting please!

    • SocialLubricant

      I'll bet you complain about explosions in outer space while watching Star Wars.

      • Vince-Kristin Aleman


      • vvv

        Hey, I have no problems with comedy and entertainment but this was trying to pass as truth and I pointed out it's wrong.

      • Cantaloupe

        Dynamite would still explode in space

    • Brutal_Deluxe

      Check to see whether you've already posted this message before posting again, please!

    • sandy

      Definately not 7 billion competators either, I think the champions to competitors ratio is actually pretty good.

    • Jak

      Is this where you come for your accurate info? I come here for the funny, awesome and t n' a. You might wanna find a new source for knowledge though.

      • Jay

        No doubt…sense of humor much man? KCCO! :/

    • The Mad Zak

      Exactly. It's as if a UFC fan made up the stats and the posting just to prove how "awesome" a UFC fighter is. Are UFC heavyweights awesome fighters? Hell yes. Can they kick my ass? Hell yes. Are the odds 1 in 7 billion? Hell no.

      When I hit #6 I thought, "That can't be right". When I hit #7 I knew it wasn't right. How many times has space junk fallen from the skies? a lot. There have been many man made satellites that have fallen to earth. They break up into many smaller pieces when they hit the atmosphere. How many times have people been hit with space junk? None.

      • Hunter

        Part of Skylab hit someone

        • The Mad Zak

          No Skylab did not hit anyone. The best info I could find on spake junk striking people is this:

          It says we know of one person being hit by man made items returning to Earth from space. A woman was hit in the shoulder by a small piece of a Delta rocket, and she was not hurt.

          The story also talks about the number of man made items that fall to Earth. A Harvard professor who is tracking space debris estimated there are 50-200 large pieces of space junk falling to Earth each year.

          So, I was wrong about "no one" being hit, but I am right in saying 1 in 3,200 is way off.

          • Jon Potter

            Technically never said man made, and since a lot of sciency types refer to any space debris that enters the Earth's orbit as a satellite, maybe the odds are better?

    • MacBayne

      Can you please tell the rod up your ass to take the rod out of its ass?

  • anony

    lame attempt at a UFC ad………

  • nerfherder

    I'd like to see the odds of scoring a Chive Tee…….

    • Smitty

      Well, those odds, my friend . . . . there simply isn't a number large enough to publish.

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