Yep, seems legit (21 Photos)

  • Ned_Ryerson

    #2 just when I thought they couldn't get any better! getting in line for it now!

    • Phil


    • AnyoneForCoffee

      Look at the screen res!

      That is awesome! Apple do it again!

    • 6_Crack_rocks

      There is something just slightly not right about that phone…can't put my finger on it…

      Ohhh I know! It has full service!

    • Dr_Batman

      Well at least I won't need an Otter Box.

  • Eric Cartman

    #10…. Not true 😦

    • Frank

      However, I got AIDS from playing "Hide the Salami".

    • Tim

      Fucking AIDS. Thanks Africa.

  • shawthomas

    #13 Who would get such a thing done?

    • Anomanom

      I don't know. Probably the same people who get their anus bleached. (no, not joking)

    • anna

      some people have really dark armpits.. it like when porn stars get their butthole waxed you know?

      • blank

        its for their shirts dumb-asses

  • Jjk

    I feel pretty
    Oh so pretty
    I feel pretty and witty and bright

  • The Dude

    #21 Careful man… there's a beverage here!

    • Ricky

      WTF is juice? I want some of that purple stuff!

    • tybardy

      unfortunatly, this apple beverage is very UN-Dude

    • Lisa H.

      As a fellow Dude fan, I feel it's my duty to point these out to you. I bought them recently and they're just as wicked as they seem.

    • sean

      theyre made by NoName, which is usually high quality stuff

  • scribe

    #20. When you reach the V in the road, drive straight in.

    • ...

      I like the sign under of a pitched tent

    • DaddyD


    • bill

      You forgot the part about backing up then driving in again and again and again……

    • Anomanom

      I think keep going until i hit Slutberg.

    • 13Aliens

      It's actually just down the road from Rich Maiden… in PA.

      • Alger


    • Kayla

      Better yet it's not far from Blue Ball and Intercourse, PA. How I love Lancaster

      • ballbag

        Its in Berks, not Lancaster…but all the same.

        • Dave Woodling

          Grew up near there. Never knew any Virgins from the town. They went to school with me. Fleetwood High School.

  • Bryan_W

    #9 I like that it's free also.

    • Whiskey_Drinker

      And according to the bottom, the FREE STEAK SALAD is considered 'liquor'…

      • Aaron

        Missing a decimal place on total as well

    • Ken

      $6.95 for Angel Food Cake? That's OUTRAGEOUS!

    • mopmonkey

      Obvious photoshop

  • Shannon Coverdale

    #4 scares the shit out of me

    • chivefoundit

      Coming from the guy with a creepy facebook cover photo….

      Not the same kind of creepy to be sure though. Chive on!

    • USAF

      What the hell is jo? "guy to come over and jo in my model train room"

      • chivefoundit

        You know, just mutual touching and stuff..nothing gay.

        • tv_paul

          Plus the bonus of all you can eat, possibly tainted (ha taint) imitation crab meat in the comfort of a cum stained model train room.

          • hootie

            you know, until 4AM or whenever…

      • usmc_chiver

        without going into too much detail, if i rewrite it as "guy to come over and j/o in my model train room" does that give you the picture?

        • Urethra Franklin

          JOG ON?

      • booger

        jerk off

      • Matt

        Googled it. It means jack off. Not sure what HO is though.

        • BigOkie

          HO is scale of the train set that he owns…

          God, I hate myself for knowing that right now.

          • Hippie Hipster Not

            That's ok, I know about a dozen great recipes for intimation crab…so somehow I feel ashamed too

      • Hauglid33

        Jack off.. haha

    • etcrr 131p

      sweet i finally made the chive

      • G.I.joe

        well played sir lol lol
        How true,,it fit's my description of him..loll

    • batvpaul

      The "Imitation Crab Meat" is everyone that answered this freak before you .

    • Tom

      Come for the jerk off; stay for the pretend destruction of a tiny town. Sold!

      • tv_paul

        The more I read it, the more I see a HBO movie based on this story. From HO to JO: The True Story of Pud McChoochoo. Paul Sorvino as Pud , Elijah Woods as Jack Mehoff, and the kid who plays Brick on "The Middle" as Sticky McChoochoo.

      • Notknowing

        STOP!……Dude, I'm laughing so hard I can't breath…… If it's not gay, why did he post a topless photo of himself?

    • Elliot Atkinson

      Sure…it seems like a fair offer, then he hits you with the whole take this imitation crab meat off my hands part. There's always a catch.

      • BigOkie

        He also has some muffin stumps that he'd like you to haul away too.

    • doctorjoshie

      Sometimes I miss the good ol' days before interwebz when I could blissfully pretend that this kind of thing only existed in the minds of comedians.

  • Tj Huddleston

    #12 You have to admit he does kinda resemble Johnny depp

    • NeelsvanPK

      I really thought it was him, that is why I stared at the photo so long, unable to understand why all the women are facing the wrong way.

    • Master_Rahl

      I'm imagining Johnny trying really hard not to freak out over the doppelganger in the crowd.

      • kigero

        Because something bad, possibly death, will befall him?

    • Dude

      Johnny Depp with a hint of Les Claypool

    • mullet

      This may come off as racist but all Johnny Depps look alike to me.

    • dub

      Does he have to look surprised all the time to pull off the Johnny Depp?

    • Ricardo Romero Moreno

      Is the one and only Johnny DERP! lol

    • JMick

      I don't have to do anything sir! Don't tell me what to do!

  • Master_Rahl

    #4 He had me at "stomp around and kick the buildings like a monster"

    • tv_paul

      But you're okay with "come over and jo in my model train room "?

      • Master_Rahl

        yeah sure, he said he wasn't gay. It's all good o_O

        • tv_paul

          True, I think it was George Pullman the creator of luxury sleeping cars on trains who first said: "Nothing builds up an appetite for imitation crab meat more than jerkin' another man off in a model train room"

          • Master_Rahl

            haha. as long as we don't break anything. I would hate for his son's train room to be ruined by a mutual j/o session.

    • Dr_Batman

      He's okay with his son playing with jizz-covered model trains? Oh but God forbid they break them!

    • Gbiscuit

      "I have the weirdest boner right now"

  • Sick350Z

    #16 Score!!

  • Master_Rahl

    #16 But… McDonalds doesn't serve pizza?

    • gottaclimb

      If you're young enough to forget McPizza, what are you doing on here?

      • Master_Rahl

        Well, goddam. I learned something today. Don't remember the McPizza, but I'm old enough that I should. Guess I took one too many bong hits in high school.

      • Tomx569

        Ah the Mcpizza, yet another idea that could have been a thing if Mcdonalds didn't suck at service.

    • pseudonym for penis

      they have pizza at the McDonald's inside of walmart just check the menu. Cheese or pepperoni if I'm not mistaken.

  • CLTHomebrewer

    #8 He just needs your SSN, your DOB and your credit card number to verify your account. It's totally legit.

  • pengamatsosial

    First, bitchez

    edited: that's how slow my internet connection is

    • amrith777

      Thumbed up for hilarity

  • HoosierMick

    #20 A nice place to visit when you're young but I wouldn't want to live there!

  • untamedride

    #16 better than finding gold!

  • BostonRugger

    #4 This kills me every time I read it

    • usmc_chiver

      how many times have you read it?!? I almost lost my lunch without even finishing it the first time!

      • BostonRugger

        It's been around the block, one of those things that pops up ever so often on theChive and other places.

        • thedude325

          "other places"…

  • SUPer4Life

    #10 Depends where you hide it…..

  • Lyle Lance

    #4 seems legit…HA

  • Whorebait


    Damn it dad!!

    • DaddyD

      I'm still laughing. Best comment all day.

      • JAFitC

        Indeed. Well played, sir!

    • discowheels

      Can't stop laughing.

    • doctorjoshie

      Hey, relax. He's obviously looking out for your train set.


    #10 Depends on who you're playing with…

  • NeelsvanPK

    Couldn't resist visiting to see what it's all about.

    True story.

    • NeelsvanPK

      Seems that the guy's surname is really Batman. Epic.

      • Master_Rahl

        they should hire Batman Bin Suparman, that would truly be epic.

    • Ina

      Wish the About Us tab was functioning…

  • theRoddick

    What? Should I have shaved before taking the pic?

    • Cowboy1354

      #16 I think it's worth the quarter you lost for it

  • Juice66

    #7 Parappa the panda

  • blutodawg

    #14 The grapist van

    • usmc_chiver

      not our line of work. STRICTLY kidnappings…

    • rick

      did you see what she's wearing??? she's practically BEGGING to get graped…

      • blutodawg

        Come here kids! Im gonna grape you in the mouth!

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