Daily Morning Awesomeness (30 Photos)

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  • darren

    1st

    • matt

      fag

    • http://www.facebook.com/rromero17 Ricardo Romero Moreno

      your mom must be really proud of you.

      • darren hater

        No, I banged Darren's mom yesterday and she said she's not proud of him.

    • BruceWayne

      #18 I remember those awesome days!
      Careful it will move to a DS very quickly.
      LOL
      Nice shirt.

    • CliMax

      Darren's a douche.

    • https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=658071630 Matt Otto

      Stop!

    • dedonkey

      You live a particularly sad and lonely existence,you fucking little monkey.

  • Goblin

    Hi ๐Ÿ™‚

    • FarmerBob

      Hello

      • Goblin

        See idk why everyone disliked it…. not like i said first like the dumbass above me, just trying to be friendly. ๐Ÿ™‚

    • darb

      Hola.

  • Dog

    #13 "Hello, this is dog."

    • JHL1

      Hey, you're not Dog; you're Mutt.

  • yesss

    Yea, great way to start the day

  • blub_glub

    #17 my brain feels funny

    • Yoga Pants 2012

      So does my dick.

    • colby

      had to stand over my computer and look down on it like an idiot..still don't really get it..

    • AggieRob

      Yeah I wont get a good night's sleep thanks to the right-side-up of this.

    • J. D.

      They used Photoshop or something to flip the eyes and lips of the women. While looking at the women upside down, their eyes and lips are right side up. That's what throws us.

    • Dingle

      The funny thing is that it says, "Pretty women right?" and I thought, "No. They all look like dudes."

      • ssss9999

        That's exactly what I thought!

    • dangermavis

      Ctrl + Alt + Down Arrow: works on most graphics cards.
      Up arrow to correct.
      Handy tool for trolling too.

      • decielito

        great, I'm going to mess with my co-workers when they step away from their computers without locking them!! -thank you

      • Nunya Business

        Great tip, thanks.

    • ronnydump

      black magic

    • https://www.facebook.com/kmills.designservices Kevin Mills

      I c what u did there.

  • yesss

    Great way to start the day!

  • hater

    #29. LOOK! Look at all the ducks I give!

    • omgh4x

      genius.

  • http://www.facebook.com/rromero17 Ricardo Romero Moreno

    #2 mother nature is trying to tell us something…

    #5 and Chive, please find that hump.

  • Dave

    trolls cant live with em, cant live without em

    • Brian

      I sure as hell could live without them.

  • http://www.facebook.com/james.munn.9 James Munn

    #5 Time to hit that ASS!!! Happy Tuesday Chivers!! ๐Ÿ™‚

    • https://www.facebook.com/callmepappy Michael Pappy Doughty

      i wanna bury my face in that ass!!!

    • Mr_Cellophane

      Looks like an invitation to me!

      • Jack o' lantern

        because she's asleep? Rapist.

  • Cutta

    #29 Rightly so, rounding up all the duck faces and marching them out of town!

  • XxOnEdgexX

    #1…TWINS?

    • Slima

      Shaun white?

    • Zito

      So that's where ginger beef comes from

    • http://thinkrandomness.blogspot.com beserker

      emo cow is emo!!!

      #9 let sleeping dogs lie… not a fuk was given

    • SC Chiver

      Not one soul is in that picture

    • Gaz

      Nailed it

    • http://www.facebook.com/austin.anderson.566 Austin Anderson

      Their mother would be so proud.

  • Rusty Shackleford

    #2 Hey house, FUCK YOU!

  • Mcchocolate

    #5 would love to be on that couch!

    • Chicago Sean

      Would love to be that couch

      • A Gentleman

        would love to fuck that chick in the ass.

    • lols

      the only way you would be in that house is if you are robbing it. cause you're black

  • maboze1x

    #5 Perfect morning awsomeness!

    • Ned_Ryerson

      lazy doggy = best position ever!

  • HoopleDoople

    #8 While I support mocking vegetarians, I do not support making shit up. Is it really that hard to Google these so called facts?

    • myself

      It was obviously in jest since it mentions no tribe, just that it's ancient. The people that take this as fact are the same people that need a warning on a router that it cannot be used as a dental device.

      • 0331

        No kidding! Everyone knows that it is actually an old Indian word for "Bad Hunter"

        • Anon

          Obviously the badass hunters of today get their factory "meat" from fast food drive-throughs. So superior!

    • WesJ

      It's easier just to give zero fucks about how reliable the source could be or where they got it, laugh at it for what it is, and think about how damn good that steak looks.

      • Holy Shit WTF

        I laugh at you meat licker's instead.

        • Zherkof

          What's an instead, and why are you laughing at it? Who is the "meat licker" to whom it belongs?

      • Cantaloupe

        I don't eat cows, only dogs. Do you have one that I could purchase?

    • DjK

      Joke… Get it

    • https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=674105656 Jordan Tunnicliff

      HoopleDoople loses the right to vote.

    • HoopleDoople

      You'll have to forgive me. I've just been really aggravated since "Random Interesting Facts" threads have become "Random Annoying BS with 1 Fact Mixed In". Yet another fake fact, even intended as a joke, has me seeing red.

      • myself

        A fair point, but in all seriousness, if you are really that spun out by it you really shouldn't be on the Internet since a whole lot of stuff is BS.

      • HonoluluChiver

        Just stop. You need to kick back and relax. The fact that you're fact-checking theChive just shows that people are way to sensitive, emotional or upset because they are offended or can't take a joke these days. It was meant to be exactly that, a joke. Take a vacation, before you explode.

        • insults don't offend

          Vegetarians can't take a joke… while everyone else can.
          The word Christian comes from an old Aramaic word meaning prefers the company of men 12 to 1.
          The word American comes from an old Indian word meaning too fat to see own genitals.
          The word Hunter comes from an ancient Neanderthal word meaning kicked out of cave by woman.
          The word Soldier comes from an old Mongolian word meaning wife sleeping with neighbor.

          True Story

          • Ron Swanson

            voted you down for typing "true story". not a story. cut that shit out.

            • kitty_karloso

              I voted you down for voting his story down.

              True Story.

              • Dave Grohl

                I voted you down because Ron Swanson is cool. You're not. True story.

                • kitty_karloso

                  You wrote True Story so Ron voted you down and so did I. Also Ron Swanson doesn't think you're cool.

                  You know the drill.

          • faemike

            Love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      • videologic

        I'm with you. I dont think that was presented as a joke, it was presented as a fact, and while some people may think "obvious joke", I bet loads of people will go away believing them.

        I bet the people here saying obvious joke, believed it until Hoople called it out

        • videologic

          People are always in favour about chilling out until its something making fun of the majority (usually america or Christianity) then everyone is up in arms

          • Bill Murray

            *People are always in favour about chilling out until its something making fun of them/what they like*

            Fixed. For a perfect example, see the Chivers.

            • kitty_karloso

              Thanks for the fix Bill. So true.

        • Froman

          If you couldn't see that it was a joke halfway through reading it, how are you able to turn on the computer? anyways ancient tribes usually killed and ate their village idiots.

          • faemike

            or elected them to some inane office

        • Dr_Batman

          It was presented as a joke. Because this theChive. You know, a humour website? Where people go to laugh and buy cabins for injured war veterans.

      • jeff

        You're an idiot! If you get angry over something you see on the internet!!
        I've seen bumper stickers with this saying 6 years ago. Don't be such a moron!

      • kitty_karloso

        Interestingly enough if the caption read "Meat Eaters: originally from the ancient word meaning dribbling assholes." Everyone who has told you "It was just a joke." would be beside themselves with anger.

        • sadman

          Tell me more about why you became a vegetarian and how it could help me to. Don't let me get a word in until you have enlightened me.

          On a less serious note, a meat eater has more trouble with constipation than "dribbling assholes."

          • kitty_karloso

            Alright let me tell you all about it. I am not a vegetarian. Wow, that was quick! Please don't feel the need to label me just because you don't agree with me. Also "dribbling assholes" was meant as a generic insult not a fact, just like the caption in the photo is not a fact!

    • sigh

      This is an obfuscation of a tired and incorrect internet meme, based on an idiot's interpretation of an old and dubious anecdote about someone being unable to translate the word vegetarian into one of the many indigenous languages of the Americas. The origin of the word vegetarian is way too obvious for this insult to be amusing to anyone whose intelligence isn't itself an insult.

      Anyway, stuffing your face with Big Macs doesn't make you a good hunter either.

      • http://www.facebook.com/jack.nycz Jack Edward Nycz

        It's ironic in pointing out that it is some 'idiot's interpretation' that you, in fact, sound like the larger idiot.

    • SockMoney17

      Evolved into the LIBERAL clan

      • A BiPolar Guy

        plenty of conservative vegetarians

    • Shawn

      Does it really matter what the actual origin of the word is? If you're seeing an image on theChive, it's best to assume it's meant to be funny or mind-blowing, and typically the mind-blowing comes with some kind of disclaimer.

    • https://www.facebook.com/kmills.designservices Kevin Mills

      I always thought "the vegetarian" was an old, old wooden ship, but now I know.

    • the dark star

      Yea too bad that is not true it would have been so fitting…

      • Cantaloupe

        Yea, billy badass, you're the great hunter of the McDonald's plains.

    • jeff donuts

      Mega gay

  • RealZoo

    #21 The 1st step is to admit you have a problem. Oh……..#5….I like.

    • 6655321

      Given's problem is his team didn't show up to play.

      • niall198

        being Irish, there is only pride for the fans who turned up for the games. we would of had a better chance if we stayed at home.

    • C C

      cocaine's a hell of a drug!

  • Mike Litoris

    #6 She's tight but she's still young

    • Geo_B

      Think you mean #5 but, still a creepy comment

      • http://www.facebook.com/mickael.duncan1 Mickael Duncan

        I'd like to think he meant 6, and is just that much more creepy.

    • https://www.facebook.com/kmills.designservices Kevin Mills

      hey man, I cut my food on that.

      • Frank

        Cuttin your food, beatin you meat, tomAto, tomato

    • Bill Murray

      funniest comment i've seen on the chive in awhile.

    • Dr_Batman

      No, no… I really think Mr. Litoris was referring to his original picture. Which makes this all the more disturbing.

  • Geo_B

    #10 Cool as hell and #23 dam just call in an Air Strike

    • Fred

      Am I the only one who looked at #10 and thought it would be impossible to keep clean?

      • panama99

        Send your woman in there or ask your mom, nicely, to clean it.

  • MattyDeuce

    #21 Colombian national team goalie ๐Ÿ˜‰

    • @childishwarrior

      HA! What you didn't see was just before that the ball hit him right in face, and still went in ๐Ÿ˜ฆ Ireland โค

      • IrishFeen

        Well it was an experience to watch them "perform" but still Brasil 2014 is the place to watch them shine COYBIG

    • RobMS

      "Cocaine is a hell of a drug" – Rick James

    • Vince

      More like Robbie Fowler.

    • Notknowing

      Lines man: hands the goalie a foul card for sniffing lines during a game.

    • Dr_Batman

      Every night before the game he goes and replaces the chalk with cocaine. Helps give him that little boost that he needs.

  • cookie

    #1 mommmaaa

    • morebeer

      Just killed a man…

      • Freddy Mercury

        put a gun against his head, pulled my trigger now i'm sucking cocks in hell

  • Slim Jim

    Chive, please give us more of #5

    • gosmallboobs

      yes i demand to know the source!

      • msee

        just go to porn.xxx. your welcome.

        • hehaha

          thank you

  • Sterling Archer

    Turtle rape. That's what you get for being a hipster.
    #7

    • Vent187

      Ha. Well said.

  • vinnychase420

    #17 theyre hotter right side up

    • a small giant

      reminds me of jack black in spiderman

    • Serinanth

      upside down eyes and mouths?

    • AggieRob

      I wonder if this means I would look handsome if I spent more time upside-down ๐Ÿ™‚

    • https://www.facebook.com/kmills.designservices Kevin Mills

      I'd rather see their sideways mouths.

    • Notknowing

      I can't turn my screen around 180 degs. Standing on my head is not an option. Stupid trick photography.

  • JiMi

    #13 Since when did Mcdonald's start selling puppy chow?

    • http://www.facebook.com/mickael.duncan1 Mickael Duncan

      1974. They're just advertizing it now.

    • Who Dat

      Puppy Chow is better for you.

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