Daily Morning Awesomeness (30 Photos)

  • Bob


    The million is like 30+ years of my salary easy.

    • Levelity

      Yeah it's pretty easy to pick 1 million because if you play it right you can turn that 1 million into something like 100 million with interest.

      • iheartboobs

        you would need more than just interest to reach 100 million my friend

      • vvv

        You really don't know how financial investing works, do you?
        Unless you are extremely smart, you wouldnt even be able to reach 50% return rate, even if you were that would be one of the maximum you could reach. And that's not taking into the account the risk of losing just as much….

    • weaksauce

      i'd take the risk, if i didnt get it, id' be where i am right now anyway 🙂

      • Simon

        You'd be right where you are now, but with the hollow feeling that you could be have a cool million.

        • Underbaker

          I guess it is how you look at it. I see it as saying here have a million dollars it is now yours to do with what you will, now would you like to bet that 1 mil on a chance to win 100 mil? I would keep the 1 million.

    • Deadpool

      What happens if I press both at the same time?

      • Joshua

        Go 101 million in debt.

      • Katie

        Instant death

    • bobsuruncle

      You guys are either (A) really risk-averse or (B) terrible at understanding expected value.

      • Jack

        Actual outcomes only converge to expected value over repeated trials. Which aren't happening here.

        *You* don't understand standard deviation and marginal benefit.

        • Jill

          You don't know Jack!

      • Salt

        The value of an additional dollar DECREASES as total wealth INCREASES. The change in your life when you go from 0 to 1 million is larger than the change in your life when you go from 1 million to 100 million.

        ill take the million…

        • videologic

          yeah, but that change in your life when you got from 0-100 million is more. I would gamble

        • bsitz

          Too much knowledge for a simple question…..press green go to Vegas.

          • bsitz

            red…i was too lazy to scroll up lol

      • http://www.facebook.com/richardjohnhudson Richard Hudson

        I am neither risk-averse and I have good understanding of expected value. (I have a B. Comm (Finance).)

        However, I still take the sure million. The benefit of an additional (first)million far outweighs the potential benefit of 100 million; at least for me.

        If my net-worth was already $1million+, my answer would likely change… the benefit of an additional million would not be nearly as high.

      • Walter White

        or (C) Already have a couple mil in the bank and want to take it to the next level.

    • Bubba

      Red! Boom, I'm done!

    • crazydog


    • kj018

      Press the green one several times until you win, there is no specified limit on the number of times you can press each button

      • Jeff

        Clearly not the point of the exercise

      • Green Mountain Bot

        Or press red 100 times.

        • zTom

          Then that would start feeling like too much like work so screw that!

          I'll take my couple of millions and go back to nap.

    • https://www.facebook.com/stephen.hoemke Stephen Hoemke

      My wife and I will each push the 50% chance at 100 million… :^)

      • http://www.facebook.com/zeb.westrom Zeb Westrom

        You do know that still only gives you a 75% chance of winning. Of course, within that 75% would be a 50% chance of 100 mil and a 25% chance of 200 mil. Not to bad, I suppose.

        • trl87

          Those values aren't additive. Your chance is always 50%.

          • Ethix_

            I could be wrong, but I thought the probability of pushing the button twice and not getting any money can be written as: 1 – (.5 x .5) which would equal .75.

            • trl87

              You have a 25% chance of getting the money twice in a row (or not getting the money twice in a row) and a 12.5% chance of getting it three times in a row. But every time you push it you have a 50% chance because the last push has no bearing on the current one.

              • BobTheWeasel

                Without much math, there are 4 options of equal probability:
                You get it, she gets it
                You get it, she doesn't
                You don't get it, she does
                Neither of you gets it
                In 3 of the four options, at least one of you gets it, therefore 75%

          • TTT

            Nope. Zeb is right. On any given push your chances are 50%, but the odds of losing twice in a row are less than that. If you pushed it ten times, you still think you have only a 50% chance that any one of those is a winner?

            • trl87

              I need references because I don't believe you. Prove me wrong and I'll secede my point. Yes, I do believe that there is always only a 50% chance of winning every time and one push has no bearing on any others.

            • trl87

              Nevermind, It makes sense now…

        • http://astros.com Ben

          The probability does not change. If you were to flip a coin 99 times and get heads, the next flip still has a 50% chance of being heads.

          • Corrector

            That's true but misses the point, because it just takes one to win. The odds of getting one winner in 100 trials are not 50%. It would be a near certainty to flip at least one tail out of 100 flips.

            • Idius

              Reminds me of the opening scene of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead

          • Name

            Coin flip is a bad example as human interaction is causing the coin to flip. Therefore, it is not fully random. If you use the same motion every time then the same result will happen every time.

      • Really?

        First spouse takes the 50/50 shot, if they win, repeat, if they lose, 2nd takes the easy million.

    • Mike D

      Do I have to pay taxes on the 1 million?

      • Timothy Geithner

        Simply forget to pay your taxes…worked for me.

        • Obama


        • Underbaker

          That only works if they owe you money, if you owe them they will be knocking on your door.

          • Timothy Geithner

            Unless you're the Secretary of the Treasury…then you can do whatever you'd like.

        • Swiss banker

          Bien sûr que non Monsieur!

      • Oli

        In Canada we don't pay tax on lotto/draw/casino winnings….if this is considered a lotto/draw/casino game.

      • mzf

        not if you live in Canada. 🙂

    • KoolAid

      You can only press one but it doesn't say how many times. I'd press the $100 million all day.

    • patov40

      Red. Kids go to college, and I might not have to teach until I keel over in my classroom. Winner!! B)

    • Outta my league

      22 years of my sallary, before taxes.

    • Josh

      Uhm, I would just hit the green button until I had a billion dollars. It said you could only press one button. It didn't say have many times you could press it.

      Who here still feels smart?

      • >Josh

        You're an idiot

    • Chris_ninety1

      Definitely red. Now if everyone got a press, I'd get my family or closest friends together and propose a pact that half of us would press red and half would get green, and no matter what we'd split the final pot evenly between us. That strikes me, as someone who has actual mathematics qualifications, as a sure fire way to guarantee a life changing amount of money whilst giving good odds of the big pay day.

      Mind you, as someone who doesn't have actual economics qualifications, I'm still fairly sure if EVERYONE got a press then that money would end up being pretty worthless. As Zimbabwe shows, it's not that impressive if nearly everyone is a millionaire.

    • Alex

      I choose the red one to press it 100 times 😛

  • Derp

    #17 That deserves a gold medal

    • fchezenko

      a pearl necklace at least

    • Dr_StrangePants

      play his cards right and maybe he can see how good of a Pole-Vaulter she is.

    • Random Black Guy

      Surprise blow job

      • Fat White Chic

        I have no self-esteem and want to piss off my dad. What are you doing tonight? I have some grape soda…just sayin'.

    • TimmyTomga

      That dude sitting down in the red shirt is pissing himself laughing

  • Still_Counts


    We seriously need a post for "Sexy Athletes of the Olympics"

  • adonisallan

    #9 I'm like that too when I'm on boobs

    • videologic

      so never then?

  • http://www.facebook.com/teeteegonzales Tanya Gonzales

    I want to be like her when I grow up

    • just asking?


      • Kristen

        I think I love you.

  • adonisallan

    #22 is plain awesome… so much LOL.

    • Dark Ronnie

      WIN and FAIL in one

    • guest

      did he have a license for a concealed carry chair?

    • http://www.facebook.com/carpenterevan Evan Carpenter

      Foreign Object!!!!!

  • Rick

    #6 Merica!

    • USA

      Hell yeah!

  • jchenabc

    #4 grandma takes it to a new level …

    • fuetcrr

      shut up stan

  • Ralphie

    #7 You're gonna put an eye out kid!

    • Dr_StrangePants

      they should probably paint that thing neon-colored
      before SWAT gets called in

    • The Game


  • Kozy

    Suprise head is the best suprise of all!

    • duh

      cool story bro

      • sp0ticus

        surprise buttsex is a close second

    • ???

      People still say head?

  • etcrr

    #5 Make Antonija a Chivette, she is gorgeous

    • windowlicker

      Thank you for your service to your country Antonija. Croatia needs more people like you. Good job finding her Chive. This made my day.

    • Bill57

      she is very tall and hot looking i bet she could play basketball and dribble the ball then shoot and it would go in cause she is very tall it would be even better if she could build a race car with race car parts then she could go fast too.

  • MatFrat

    Heya Goergie, want a balloon? #12

    • benbobbins

      Oh yes, Georgie. They float. They all float.

  • Jojo

    #30 Instant $1 Million

    • vegasnites

      Yeah me too… you can live off the interest of $1mil the rest of your life…. esp in another country.

      • Chris

        A 3rd world country maybe…


    #5 YES

  • http://twitter.com/cvine08 @cvine08

    thank you…i needed this

  • MIKEG01sf

    Is it wierd #4 makes my wiener move????

    • sp0ticus

      only if it moves side to side

    • HatBomb

      Yes Mike, it really kind of is.

  • thebigbangdito

    1,000,000 / average of 50k a year = 20 years.

    I take the red and ill be happy


    Kcco kids…

    • spicticus

      Well when you think logically, sure I'd take the red too.

      • mikeltn

        When you think logically, after taxes, it is closer to $600k. With inflation rates and expected poor investing (1,000,000 / average of 50k a year = 20 years, really?) the $600k would last for about 6-8 years tops. Not enough to retire on, so you might as well go big or go home.

        • a-nom

          Again…that is not what the exercise had intended…this isn't a financial test, it's a psychology test.

        • Oli

          We don't pay tax on winnings in Canada!

    • nick

      there's always the guy who shoots down a windfall by talking about taxes. fuck you

  • B Dub

    #22 GTFO!
    #28 NEED!!! vs want
    #30 Red 1 mil sure thing. Very tough choice though!!

  • etcrr

    #23 is beautiful and I'm not greedy I'll take 1 million #30

    • Bill57

      when i drove a truck it had red buttons and green buttons on it and when i pushed the red button or the green button it didnt give me any money but that was okay cause i could still push the button and sometimes the lot lizzard would ask to push the button and i let her cause the button was red and there was a green button to.

    • windowlicker

      The beautiful girl has the same colors in her hair as the red and green buttons have on them. Absolutely stunning and gorgeous. This is funny because buttons should not be stunning and gorgeous. They are only buttons after all.

  • Rollout25

    #30 I'm a gambler I'll take my chance at the 100Million

    • http://twitter.com/DrDrai1122 @DrDrai1122

      Finally! Someone with some balls. Good choice. If you lose you didn't really lose anything because it doesn't cost you to play

      • RealZoo

        You "lose" a "guaranteed" $1 million.

    • Jezza67

      WTF are you going to do with $100m that you can't do with $1m?

      • http://twitter.com/JustinYnolds @JustinYnolds

        Two chicks at the same time.

        • DumbPhone

          Two chicks at the same time on a bed of cash…

        • a-nom

          hahahahaha! oh office space…

      • Henry

        Easy. Never work again.

  • http://www.facebook.com/TheTansley Sean Tansley

    #31 Instant 1 Million.Cant be greedy.

  • JustbinK

    #24 Heath's performance still blows my mind…

    • USA

      the magic trick was awesome.

    • http://twitter.com/DrDrai1122 @DrDrai1122

      It is captivating and awe inspiring all at the same time. I cannot picture him in another movie without his Joker face paint. His performance will be his legacy and the best one he could possibly have.

    • Powshredder

      His role as the Joker will go down as one of the best acting performances of all time, no doubt.

    • Rufus

      while it's a tragedy that he died because of his dedication to his role, it's good that he will not be remembered for "A Knight's Tale."

  • Jonathan

    #30 What happens if you press both at the same time? Do you have a chance to get 101 Million??

    • Shawn

      You get a punch in the face, with a chair! That's what you get Jonathan…

      • Jonathan

        Which is the same result as dividing by 0… I get it.

  • https://www.facebook.com/Justbad311 Justin Rutherford

    #30 Go big or go home! GREEN!!!!

    • l/latt

      I'll go home with one million then.

      • http://twitter.com/DrDrai1122 @DrDrai1122

        Pussy. You don't lose anything but you have a 50% chance of getting 100 million.

        • Mike

          Or a 100% chance of collecting what, for most, is life changing money. You can feel free to live according to the "How can I make myself look like a tough guy while belittling others?" approach. I'll take the pussy million and live in a pussy mortgage-free home with a couple pussy lien-free cars and a pussy stable financial future.

          • jim

            to be fair, the cost of living varies greatly depending on where you live (let's assume in the US) – as theChive posted a few months ago, $1.5 million will get you a small house in LA (or a nice two bedroom apartment in good parts of manhattan) but a mansion with grounds out in the countryside. $1 million is nice, don't get me wrong, but especially if it's sitting in the bank collecting half a percent and you have a wife and several kids, that money will start to run dry when it comes time to pay for college, graduate school, and so on

            • MrStiggy91

              True, but assuming that the green has a 50% of giving you nothing, a million bucks is still better than no million bucks no matter where you live.

  • weaksauce

    #17 assume the position!

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