A healthy dose of owned (35 Photos)

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  • MikeG01SF

    #16 is a must try

    • Jouhker

      You can just slide it to the left, go under the earpiece, slide it to the right, and do the same thing on that side.

      • http://twitter.com/nickinwarcal @nickinwarcal

        no, I dont think you could

  • Steve

    #8. My kinda party

    • dusty0601

      Dear Diary,
      Jackpot!
      Giggity.

    • stevo

      christmas

    • guest

      Should have put the hands behind.

      • S.OhioChiver

        not if you plan on rolling them over

    • http://twitter.com/nickinwarcal @nickinwarcal

      Where do you put?..your… nevermind

  • BuffaloJustSayin

    #8 Dear Diary,

    Jackpot.

    Giggity.

    • Spliggs

      That amputee on the left has huge cans…

      • Verbal_Kint

        Bravo, Spliggs. Bravo.

  • MikeyP13

    Mac is gonna cry when he sees #28

    • Tan

      the cat looks like its crying already 😦

    • Vent187

      Haha, this one made me laugh way to much.

      • Daniel Tosh

        friendzone john will comfort him

    • http://www.facebook.com/cfolks24 Connor Folks

      how can you make a kitty cry?
      i thought they dont give a shit.

  • ZoxyMusic

    #35 dick.

    • IrishInNJ

      You mean Knick.

    • Leddy420

      *dick without a ring

    • joe shabadoo

      haha i f$%king hate the knicks, but Stoudemire's the man.

      • caleb

        He's been a piece of shit on the court without Nash.

    • dirtysteve99

      Nothing like fame and money to make a cunt, cuntier.

    • MattyDeuce

      Pretty sure Battier got the last laugh

    • Marty

      Lol, go hug a tree pussies. That shit was hilarious.

    • Mrdre007

      He just made they were losing…

    • Guest :)

      EPIC dick 😀

    • MrPants

      Shane Battier is a grimey douche bag. I would have done the same thing.

    • http://www.facebook.com/urriah.aguilera Urriah O. Aguilera

      that's the playoffs son. every move of dickery counts as a mindf***

  • Verbal_Kint

    #20 I laughed way to hard at this. The fact that he flipped out the sunroof is amazing.

    • NebraskaGuy

      Dumbass is lucky the car didn't continue rolling and crush his ass.

      This is why you should always wear a seatbelt!

      • IrishWolfhound

        Ye think a seatbelt is gonna stand up to a hard flip like that?

        • northerner

          Yeah. They're designed that way.

        • NebraskaGuy

          Yes.

          That's what it's designed to do.

          Educate yourself – it could save your life!

      • MonkeyMadness

        I was thinking the same thing. He's damn lucky.

    • Spelling Police

      *too – stay in school.

      • truth

        *Stay

      • Joe

        Grammar Police, Not Spelling Police. Dummy.

        • guest

          actually the other way around.

    • zoinks

      first thing i would do after an ejection and rollover… fix shirt.

  • tv_paul

    #4 Sell my wife & kids to Taco Bell, I'll show you what a Gordita really is!

    • Hara

      it's fat girl.

  • notacubsfan

    #23 I had this seat at a Cubs game- No joke….I asked for the best seat available and thats what I got.

    • Harmonica33

      ok but what do you have to pay for it?

      • Harry Carey

        He paid by going to watch the Cubs play.

    • Deep Dish

      I was going to say the same thing. If that's at Wrigley, then I've had that seat.

    • http://www.facebook.com/nate.bablitz Nate Bablitz

      was gonna say, that looks like Wrigley….ha, i can't believe they sell those seats, but it is pretty funny when its the ticket your buddy has….

    • Wally

      What I don't get is the step down just to the right of the seat. Why not switch the two?

    • luke

      With an obstructed view of the cubs, that IS the best seat available.

  • me...bn

    #8 police sirens in 3..2..oh shit!!!!

  • MylesofStyles

    #27 People like this make me want to punch a baby in the face.

    • Aka

      Why not just punch the person that's bothering you in the face? Bringing babies into this. You heartless bastard!

      • MylesofStyles

        Babies' faces are softer, and therefore easier on my knuckles.

        • dirtysteve99

          That's a good point, Aka, let him punch your kids.

    • Verbal_Kint

      Seriously, who the fuck spells Krystin with a "y" for god sakes… Wait, what?

  • Tuttified

    #28 Couldn't help but say "Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww"

    • Ken

      (continuation) ……wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww" fuck that cat!

    • IrishWolfhound

      Shop shop shop

  • GeekyTex

    #10 No, I'm not performing that cavity search boss!

    • MattyDeuce

      Those are not cops

  • NIXem

    #33 nom nom nom

  • tv_paul

    #14 The Spirit of Chris Farley as seen in Billy Madison compels you!

    • reaperMEDIC

      It was that damn Sasquatch that's who!

  • pennywise79

    #10 Looks like someone's….in a sticky situation. YEEEEAAAHHH………

    • https://www.facebook.com/Dweppler08 DeAnna Michelle Weppler

      I'd says he's pretty prickly spot

    • Sophia

      What a prick…

    • reaperMEDIC

      He needs to cactus more often at the driving range.

      • Verbal_Kint

        took me a sec, but I LOL'd.

    • Verbal_Kint

      I think he got the point…

  • @lackofabetter

    #15 Ooooooooooooooh shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Cal

      FLAME ON!!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/james.ramos.355 James Ramos

    #33 it'll be fun they said!

    • James

      this made me laugh. Thank you.

  • Stains

    Just got a wolverabe shirt! BOOOYAH!

  • mrkerrdontplay

    #20 def the coolest way to park your car

    • Ace

      Like a glove

  • https://www.facebook.com/Dweppler08 DeAnna Michelle Weppler

    #28 Sad kitty is sad {Awwww}
    #5 dude.. I see a hospital trip in your future.

  • that one guy

    if I were David stern, I would fine that prick in #35 just for being a douche bag. what ever happened to sportsmanship? leave it to the city of new York to contract first class asshole athletes. much love to the giants, (because they actually have class) but other than them, that whole city has nothing but wretched sports teams. and eeeeasy fellas… all you yankee fanatics- I don’t consider base a sport.

  • TXCherokee

    #13 – You've confused my wanting to practice my religion, without hearing from you every day on how you don't have one. Atheists and Vegans still haven't learned you can be one without telling everybody about it.

    • MadTexan

      This.

    • Red

      True that.

    • Ted

      John Stewart isn't an atheist, he is just Jewish

      • derk

        Yep. Real name is is Jon Leibowitz.

    • yodaddy

      Let the hypocrisy flow brother, let it flow!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • ray pallari

      You've confused the war on Chick-Fil-A with not getting everything you want. It's called being fired from your job for posting angry hate filled videos on you tube and not being tolerant of ALL sides of an issue in a country with freedom of speech.

    • Livin' Legend

      Every group has its share of loud assholes. Anyone picking and choosing which group's assholes are more annoying while ignoring the assholes in their own group is missing the point.

    • dusty0601

      Stewart's a Jew, fyi

    • dirtysteve99

      Practice, practice, practice, when you ever gonna get it right?

    • Ryan

      Oh please, I don't see atheists building giant, phallic looking buildings everywhere and putting books in hotel rooms. One person a month tells you that they are an atheist and you get pissed? Grow up and do what I do and get drunk a bit more often. It makes ignoring people easier. Shit, you've gotten me to respond to your moronic post and now I have to go drink.

      • Visitohr

        What Ryan said. It's dropdead funny when someone religious say such things about atheists.

        • Joe q

          Im an athiest and I just want to tell you that you are an idiot for believing there is a God AND making fun of other Gods that you dont believe in.

          • erick

            I don't believe in athiests

          • http://thechive.com LukeTheTerrible

            Ryan is right, Christians are commanded to go forth and spread the gospel, and they do it with fervor. (All I know about vegans is this barista who claims to be one and she's nice. Real nice.) And Joe is a jerk, the kind of atheist that gives atheists a bad name, ridiculing other beliefs. Christians do it with more pity and compassion, and claim spiritual compulsion. When atheists rant they have no one to blame, just their own bad manners.

          • vagabond

            my index finger fits perfectly in my nose! Take that athiests!

      • El Z

        This is great, Chive, this is what I come to this site for. There's already a Daily Kos and a Talking Points Memo, I honestly don't understand why we get the "fingers-in-the-eye" posts on what's otherwise a uniquely positive, relaxing site. I don't blame TXCherokee or Ryan for responding to the provocation. It's your site, post as you will, but I really recommend that you stick to what you're better than anyone else at.

        • MichaelK

          Then fuck off and don't come here and read the comments you dumbfag.

    • ReverendE

      Religion is for those that cant handle reality. I challenge your god to a light saber battle when I win it can blow me.

    • Scott

      You've confused imposing your religion on others with "Practicing your religion". Keep it in church or in the privacy of your own home. When you inconvenience me by approaching me in the parking lot of a supermarket wanting to convert me so that the flimsy integrity in your faith will be emboldened then it becomes my problem.

    • Uptohere

      That's it.Bye Chive,it was fun while you weren't calling me an ignorant bigot every day.Stay classy,respectful of others opinions and tolerant,oh wait-you aren't any of those things!My bad.
      Save the sarcastic responses.I already know I won't be missed.

      • The Woim

        See you later under a different sign in name.

    • Charter896

      Religion and politics ALWAYS divide, they never unite. Please Chive, you're known for hot girls and random funny ass pictures. You gotta leave the religion and politics out of it, it's doing more harm than good.

      • davo

        its just that we're concerned that people believe in a fantastical ancient story. Might as well worship Santa Claus. I am truly bewildered that people can say they believe in god and mean it.

        • https://www.facebook.com/brian.thomas.9237 Brian Thomas

          Wait! Santa Claus doesn't exist either??

        • I'm #1

          You're a real condescending prick.

    • http://www.facebook.com/jmartincic Jeff Martincic

      wait, a religious person saying atheists are loud about their beliefs? lol pot and the kettle eh?

    • sammy4231

      Stewart is confused. The battle between Obamacare and Religion is about forcing people to pay for other people's contraception.
      You can't always get the free pills you want. Buy them yourself.
      It's called individual rights with personal responsibility as a cornerstone of our society …. Jon.

      • I'm #1

        So then you support the individual mandate (personal responsibility), you just think that religions should get to dictate what medical benefits people should be entitled to?

  • OhioChiver

    #29 Remember this the next time you bitch when a bird craps on your car.

  • Livin' Legend

    #35 is a good example of why the term 'professional sport' is a complete misnomer. Overpaid, unsportsmanlike babies.

    • CosmoKramerTheAssMan

      the NBA died when jordan and his generation quit playing. the NBA now fucking sucks.

      CKTAM

      • Pants Pudding

        Have you watched for the past few seasons? It's not quite up to the level it was during the 80s and Lebron's no Jordan, but there's been a huge influx of talent over the past few years. The low point was right after Jordan retired when most of the teams 1) tried to structure an offense around nonstop perimeter isolation plays (boooring) and 2) couldn't figure out what to do with big guys with superior ballhandling skills (play them as bigs, and ha ha, ballhandling). The NBA is highly entertaining right now. It sucked when we were watching Iverson play 1 on 4 and cringing as Antoine Walker jacked up three pointers.

  • Amir

    #30 I can watch this one all day

    • pennywise79

      POW! Right in the kissa…POW! Right in the kissa…

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