For the love of God, please let me help you (31 Photos)

  • Hhdjdd

    FirsT #1

    • ilikepotatoes

      People like you should be #1 on the list.

  • dragon2777

    #8 what exactly are they trying to accomplish there?? #31 seen it a bunch of times but still love it.

    • asdasd

      Fucking troll par… bird!!!

    • plumpyplatypus

      #8 is practicing darwinism at its best

      • evad

        a ultraviolent firework

    • kvt

      its a gang initiation in the philipines

    • Jed

      #31 is going around trying to find which turtles are ninjas.

  • Jhonny5

    #3 is the new generation SWAG

    • thedude325

      What concerns me is that the child does not appear to be his…

      • Dutch

        That's for Murray to decide. not you.

        • dirtysteve99

          Do you mean Maury?

      • KCS24

        I think its pretty stand up of him… at least he's "supporting" the child… or is that sporting the child?

  • Dirtyoldman

    Awesome. Thanks guys.
    Now get to work on the tapiture app.

  • ChestRockwellz

    #30. She should make another video

    • Master_Rahl

      my thoughts EXACTLY! we know of her "talents", that's the only one we're interested in.

      • Groggy

        No talent there either. Did you see that vid? She's lazy as shit in the sack.

        This means that being physically attractive is literally her ONLY redeeming quality. And that's not gonna last.

        • MrMr

          She is a Fat Ass Skank

    • W00t

      She made a video?

      • FunKiller

        I've always been curious, does it hurt to sleep under a rock?

    • Doc

      Kim Kardashian bangs a lot of white dudes – No one ever

    • passwordistaco

      How about a snuff film!!!

  • passwordistaco

    #16 Quite possibly the most inappropriate comparison ever made.

    • V4Vendetta14

      A more accurate comparison would be Beethoven and Kanye. One was deaf, the other is most likely tone-deaf.

    • Nicnac

      What's with this moronic media trying to compare 'stars' nowadays to Mozart. Just last week there was one with Mozart vs Justin Bieber… Good grief!

    • Shak

      Comparing Kobe to Michael Jordan was worst…

      • Zeus

        At least they play the same sport. Kanye is a joke who raps badly to other people's original beats. Mozart was was a composer and musical genius.

        • Digital_Utopia

          Yeah, but have you ever seen Mozart rap?

  • shralp

    #12 Let me guess…Planet HOLLYWOOD

    • Underbaker

      There is always Planet Pizza in the Pixar films.

    • Anomanom

      Planet Fail

  • Anthony DeGiulio

    #27 How many people just tried this?? (I did)

  • Dman

    #21 You sir, are a sir. Very honorable indeed.

    • Anjin-San

      united we stand….

      • MacNCheesePro

        The Penal code is strong, my friend…

    • Underbaker

      So I wonder how much Linda's husband paid Markevens to make that answer to keep himself from getting busted for his porn sites.

      • Karl

        Linda's husband = Markevans?

        • Underbaker

          Nah, if he was that smart he would have used the privacy function to begin with.

          • Endlessboost

            It's google not safari.

    • KyleGamgee

      Solidarity. *fist to chest*

  • Med

    I dont care what the caption is…. this guys face always makes me laugh

    • Byron_Black

      Totally, me too. I think the best was "OK, OK. On a scale of one to ten, what is your favourite colour of the alphabet?"

    • MikeOverHere

      Still, if you are going to make fun of someone, you should use proper grammar.

  • Tyrion Lannister

    da fuq!?

    • Doc

      Kill it! Kill it with fire!!!

    • Nicnac

      One of the 18 girls in line at the Starbucks… Good thing the guy was distracted with math…

    • techno_viking

      I believe it's one of those "Snookie's"…

      • Anomanom

        Its a Ganguro, which is like a Japanese version of a Snooki.

        • dirtysteve99

          Don't google Ganguro, you won't be happy.

    • bob

      RUN!!!! its a mummy!!!!!!!!! the zombies are comingggggg!!!!!!! trawtwt;awnpbvoiwan;klngbo;zih!!!!!!!

      • Troll|Kenton

        I got embarassed when I read your comment @bob
        there were all these comments before you, and you still said the lamest/worst one. You receive the "Hella-Lame" trophy which is given by the top Troll to the lamest post of the day. (Can be earned automatically for continuous use of the words "hella" or "yo")

        You also earn the "Most Likely Under 14" medal, the "Smash Keyboard n00b" award, and lastly, the "BroBro-NameChange" trophy for lamest name change. Don't sleep face to face while having a slumber party, you might get boneritus.

        Look it up.

        Because I didn't.

        Could be something serious.

        -Troll (A goodone)

    • KCS24

      I wouldn't hit it with a mack truck, baseball bat or Chris Brown's left and right fist… just saying…

  • sarah

    #1 and #15
    thank god… i thought my mom was the only one losing it

  • Jin Jung

    #17 Use those math skills to make a lot of money and then the girls will come.

    • FarmBoy

      I find it funny that "Jin Jung" is saying this.

    • Nargon

      and then you have no money… rince and repeat

    • Kristen

      Are you good at math because squinting makes it easier to see the numbers.

    • Wisti

      I'd date a guy doing that math in his head <_< it's called an investment 🙂 or an educated gamble ^_^

  • misschris

    #27 Kinda like "For all intensive purposes"

  • V4Vendetta14

    #9 Is the funniest thing I have read in awhile. What are the odds that she is blonde?

    • phoenixv8

      Using the conditional probability rule….Where A= Female and B= Blonde…

      P(A AND B ) = P(A) * P(B | A), where the second term means "The probability of B given that A is true".

      P(Female AND Blonde) = P(female) * P(blonde/female) = p(blonde) * p(female/blonde). If we know that being female and being blonde are independent traits, then this equals P(female) * P(blonde).


    • KCS24

      Would that be natural blond or "sun in"… ha ha ha ha ha

  • Danno Maurer

    #22 I hear the Chive is hiring

    • Harry Longbahls Jr

      He says he can sell water to a whale…that's not really that tough of a feat…whales need water…

      • xoxide

        but they already get their water free of charge

      • Frank Marasco

        Dear God, I hope you were (fail)trolling.

  • Beev

    #3 I'm pretty sure he stole that kid

    • Obama

      If I had a son, he'd steal that kid.

  • mongoose5271

    #3 Well, that kid is fucked…

    • MrMr

      Very Sad

  • fo1133

    LOL <img src="; width="1" height="1" alt="map" style="border: Opx;">

    • Please

      Unless you are going to put put something useful or funny, don't comment.

      • Kevin

        Freedom to post what I want, this is America. I suppose you are the moderator of comments, in an unofficial capacity? A vigilante, tied to the grammar police no doubt. Trolling websites in search of comments you disapprove of. Well done, Mr. Please, if that is your real name…

        • KCS24


  • tv_paul

    #10 Don't close your eyes when they hand out communion here. After never go into a confessional either.

    • KCS24

      Spoken from experience

  • canjura

    Anyone else NOT understand #21? -_-

    • Anjin-San

      Canjura… is that a female name?

    • Billy

      You must be a girl……or don't like girls.

    • Dara

      The answer is bull. Adware cannot do this, but this guy is being awesome and covering for a completely unknown person. The husband truly does visit a porn/gambling site the most, but now his wife will be convinced that they just don't have the best antivirus security and not that her husband likes to watch Back Door Sluts 9. Mark Evans for the win!

      • Kevin

        The only thing I read was back door sluts 9.

    • goatpunch

      in all seriousness the only thing I can think of is that clearly this dude giving advice is being sarcastic and actually helping out her husband by telling her porn, casinos, and cheap knockoff materials are always put into chrome in "error". More than likely the reason she asked the question is because she didn't believe these type of things would be in her husband's search box. Ultimately Google chrome doesn't put those things in your recent search history, hence the joke is on her

  • MrKris

    so The Goonies sequel is on hold following Sloth's sex change…

  • Dan

    #15 – I like the part when Tyler stole Jenny Johnson's joke. Word for word.

  • tallmichael

    Just remember, half of these guys will be richer than all of us

    • admiralperry

      And won't ever get the nerves up to talk to a woman

      • shizzepp

        won't have to, they'll come to him.

    • partysauce

      you are implying that nerds never end up as security guards or janitors? I believe you are not familiar with the nerd kingdom

  • Gun_guy

    Said a true patriot…

    • trixi

      The person who made that sign is fantastic.

    • Copper1

      Its sad that people are willing to comment (take notice) of every other post except this one . I really hope this person found a job.

    • King Couch Burner

      Sorry hate to say it but i love these books and i've never even read one line. Trust me might be junk but buy it for your significant other and reap the benefits.

      • Gun_guy

        Sure, until your ol' lady decides it might be fun to hit you with flogs… True story.

        • Theresia

          She doesn't flog.. he does.. rather he spanks her.. ans your lady will want to fuck your face off.. trust me..

          • Theresia


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