Daily Morning Awesomeness (35 Photos)

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  • joe shabadoo

    first

    • Wienerschnitzel

      You win the prize! The prize is a noose to hang yourself with! Hooray!

      • joe shabadoo

        umadbro?

    • PerilousHare

      Whoop de doo Basil, what does it all mean?

    • FunKiller

      Mad Bones Beard

  • cortney

    squidlips plankbeard?

    • carl

      nah, that's the nickname for the last girl i went down on.

    • Kiki

      Scallywag Squiffy Bart! Win

    • Felcus

      Stinky Head Three Gates.

      Worst pirate name ever.

      • average Joe

        Fluffbucket Eddie Three Gates

        I guess our parents really hated us….

      • David

        I dont know about that one being the worst " Miss John ThreeGates " RDW

    • guest

      Madhead Jones

      • Bhodi

        Deadman Creeper Chumbucket

    • 0_0

      Freebooter Patch Jackson

      • Poopoo brain

        Stinky head omalley. It's like a playground insult from elementary school. All the memories are coming back to me now.

        • Adam

          Captain Head Bones Barnacle.

          Gaaaaay.

    • Adee_Do

      Captain Rat Beard

    • SlimtwigMJ

      Dead Man Creeper Kidd

    • marty26

      Dead man Jim Bart

    • Ricardo Saracino

      miss patch chumbucket ??? im a guy !?!?

    • AnyoneForCoffee

      Mad John Bart.

      Mmm, I sound like an irritated librarian instead of a pirate.

    • GJB

      Me mates call me Sharkbate Head Byrd

    • Firefighter23

      Fluffbucket Bonesbeard………….

    • Dirty George Beard

      Dirty George Beard '_'
      Mine sucks

      • Dan

        Bowman Head Holystone, i dont get it.

    • DWD

      Bowman Eddie Sparrow

      • MT Bronco

        Peg Leg John Kidd? Kinda boring…

    • AkHunter

      Squidlips George From the west

    • Kristen

      Scallywag Plank Jones

    • DirtyChar

      Dirty Head Bart

    • buckobonesbartiguess

      Bucko Bones Bart?… that's lame. odd that its alliteration.

    • http://remostussy.tumblr.com/ remostussy

      miss creeper o'malley

  • Noah

    #2 Bear Grills

    • Pueo

      I LOL'd.

    • http://cinemaplastique.tumblr.com MigraineBoy

      Well played, Sir! Well Played!

    • Ponderbear

      Or…."whatcha thinkin' 'bout?"
      Bear: "just bear stuffs"

    • mrmostlymittens

      Congratulations on a spectacular zinger, Noah! 🙂

    • alanaka24

      Nice view…better drink my own piss.

    • TonyM

      "Come stand here Jim, what do you see… The whole world Jim, its all out there"
      – Philosobear

    • this guy

      i see what you did there…

    • Guest

      Very nice work indeed good sir

    • FunKiller

      You can bearly see the view because of the trees.

    • chiver

      smokey the bear

    • alw

      Lovely Noah, just lovely.

    • Jordan

      How many bears go Bear Grylls grill if Bear Grylls could grill bears?

  • Goble goble

    I'd go gangnam style on that ass of #3

    • Yeahhh

      Arley Elizabeth

      • nate33uc

        Dirty Gold Byrd

    • JJATC

      Her name is Ashley Held. She's a part-time model and works at Hooters in West Palm Beach, FL. Stop in and say hi if you're in the area. She is one of the smartest and nicest people I have ever met!

  • Peter

    #35 That same thing happened to me

    • waryee

      damn did he setup his dog?

      • http://twitter.com/GamerKitty84 @GamerKitty84

        it's Derp Dog.

    • kbutt

      I bet you can't like your balls or sniff your ass.

  • Magic Mike

    #3
    I would eat that ass like a sandwich.

    • pete123

      Arley Elizabeth

      • Bill Boner

        I'll go gangnam style on your ass

        • Vent187

          On Pete's ass?

    • http://thechive.com/ mattythegooch

      Very sloppy, with most of it landing on the floor of your car???

  • Vic

    #16 both of them!

    • Dr_StrangePants

      I've got something for you to blow….this Bazooka Joe

    • foul83

      Nobody else thinking love tunnel here?

  • Gustopher

    #13 That kid is doing it right

    • guest

      The kid knows a good thing when he sees it…or them in this case!

    • blahhhh

      FIND HER!!!

    • DrGarnicus

      Just look at the smile on his face! My boy!

    • http://blog.dirtyhotproductions.com/ waltgator

      future pimp!

  • Gus

    Wish I could touch them too #19

    • jchenabc

      come on now … only touch ?

      • Gus

        I would touch them and then I would gently place my face in between and motorboat them like there's no tomorrow

    • Artemus Clyde Frog

      Salma Hayek. Woah, She's hot!

    • guest

      I love Salma Hayek!

    • JPPO

      You don't know How much I envy that Damn bastard; Salma is my wet dreams inspiration…

    • J. D. Rage

      when she dances in from dusk till dawn, EPIC!

      • DaddyD

        One of my all-time favorite movies.

  • http://www.facebook.com/stephen.davidson.7 Stephen Davidson

    #28 Mad Spike Sparrow

    • Gustopher

      Captain Spike Barnacle

      • JESSE

        Bob's is actually Miss Head Swashbuckler. His first name is Robert

    • Tiber_Septim

      Buccaneer Squiffy of the Coast

    • http://twitter.com/SwarleySheen @SwarleySheen

      Dirty Bones Bart

    • Eric_Le_Awesome

      Buccaneer Head Barnacle, the lamest pirate in the Seven Seas.

    • Jeff

      Fluffbucket Jack Chumbucket…

      • Deadman Storm Byrd

        deadman storm byrd lol thats going to be my new screen name lol

    • https://www.facebook.com/adamraymondpaul Adam Paul

      Captain Spike Swashbuckler

    • Random Black Guy

      Miss Greedy Byrd

      • Random Black Guy

        I'm not even a women this sucks

    • srfchf

      Fluffbucket creeper o"malley

    • Sean

      Mad Bones Rivers… So, I'm either an angry river of bones or my last name is Rivers and I didn't feel like changing it.

    • SuperiorTo8

      Dead man Eddie Bart

    • Wayne

      Rapscallion Jack Jackson

    • andie

      Captain Patch Three Gates

    • Legion

      Bowman Bart… Ay Caramba.

    • Jak

      Dead Man Creeper O'Malley

    • Sade

      Mad Bones Swashbuckler… Argh! o.O

    • CSS

      Captain Squiffy Swashbuckler

    • scoottheboot

      Mad Bones Jones

    • tony

      Captain Rat Jackson

    • http://twitter.com/McBeastie666 @McBeastie666

      Dead Man Cackle Jackson

    • Beev

      Dirty Felony Tuna Breath 😐

    • jjjjjjjj

      Fluffbucket Gold Jackson

    • Si1entStatic

      Fluffbucket Creeper Jones…. gonna git'cha

    • 5eagles

      Fluffbucket Storm Chumbucket…I would have made a horrible pirate…

    • Mike D

      Dead Man Sea Sparrow

    • a-nom

      Deadman John Swashbuckler

    • Macro

      Deadman Storm Beard

    • zimzum

      fluffbucket john holystone

    • ttyl hef

      Captain Gold Beard

    • Waterdog74

      Mad Storm Jackson

    • sfb101

      Mad O' Byrd, I like to fuck parrots…

    • Red

      Scallywag Head Chumbucket!

      I am such a bad ass.

    • BARTMAN

      Peg Leg Bones Bart

    • Havoc Control

      Bowman Creeper Beard

    • filthyslob

      Fluffbucket Spike Three Gates

    • nate_g_2003

      Matey Head Ned Head…my pirate name sucks.

    • Taco_Depot

      Rapscallion Storm Jones. I don't even know.

    • ben

      dirty spike beard

    • AnthonySyl

      Captain Squiffy Chumbucket

    • anthony

      Captain Jack Sparrow

    • snotbox

      DEADMAN JACK HOLYSTONE………..BOOOOYA

    • Guest

      red head beard…

    • Boom!_Headshot!

      Fluffbucket Jack Ned Head

      and i thought i was lame before…

    • boris

      Captain John Chumbucket

    • Matt

      Dead Man Gold Holystone

  • Paul

    Stinky Headbeard…wow

    • http://www.facebook.com/rachel.james.161 Rachel James

      Miss captain creeper kidd.. Pretty accurate if you knew me

  • Lower

    #28 Deadman Head Barnacle
    KCCO It's Friday

    • Sweet D

      Captain George Sparrow….Jack's lesser known sibling

    • adrt

      Captain Bones Jones. I like it.

  • The Bandit
    • Lower

      Happy Bday BFM.
      Cheers.

      • chicago

        ringa ding ding, happy b-day!!

    • Brad

      BFM's pirate name? Rapscaillion Head Holystone

    • Max

      Happy Birthday to you, Bill Murray. Please disregard the "Chivers" that will blindly buy a shirt with your visage emblazoned across the chest without having the slightest clue who/why you are so awesome. I may not have been fortunate enough to procure a BFM, but at least I understand why it was manufactured.

      • Bill Boner

        Fuck that asshole

      • That guy sucked

        Suck celebs dick much?

        • hilarious!

          Haha, he said "much" Ha, implying he does It all the haha time with one little simple ha ha sarcastic word that means so so much.. Ha ha look it happened twice. Haha ha ha ha?

      • http://www.thechive.com AdamBaldick

        suck a bag of dicks

    • a-nom

      Indeed! Happy Birthday…going to have to go home and watch Caddyshack now…

      'So, do you have any regrets?'

      "….Garfield, maybe…"

      • a-nom

        Yes…I'm well aware that's a reference from Zombieland and not Caddyshack…but it's too good not to use.

  • Football Friends

    #25
    There goes the neighborhood…

    • White guy

      I'm sure they are nice people…

      • KCCO

        the annual meeting of the SPC…Small Penis Commission

    • billyjack13

      there must be a bunch of fat white girls in there….

  • sshuggi

    #35
    Dog = Me
    Frisbee = My life
    Tree = Work
    Anyone have a chainsaw?

  • p1ll

    #12 Darwin award winner in 3 – 2 – 1

    • Shooter McGavin

      What the hell is this kid trying accomplish with this picture?

      • qmpion

        obviously looking like a general badass

    • http://www.thechive.com AdamBaldick

      Pictures like these scare me

    • 5280Blazin

      Ladies, helpful tip for you here. All you need is hairspray and a lighter and you can kill spiders from a distance

  • Don

    The Chive should have a Milf Monday

    • sven

      Camel toe Tuesday

  • Rusty Shackleford

    #19 He gave us Scarface and Platoon, I think he earned that feel

    • AirwolfWilly

      A-fuckin'-men!
      Salma hasn't given us anything yet. Not even those.
      You go get those Oliver!

      • jreddy23

        She gives them to us in Frida…just in case you're interested.

        • sam

          unibrow?!? can't get past it, thanks but no thanks.

    • CSS

      Really? Cause DePalma directed Scarface

      • Rusty Shackleford

        Yes, but Oliver Stone wrote it

  • http://cinemaplastique.tumblr.com MigraineBoy

    #28 Arrrrrr… I'd be Dead Man Creeper Jackson.

    • JESSE

      *douche. He and goebbels were cut from the same tampon

    • http://www.facebook.com/bill.wald Bill Wald

      Dirty Rat Three Gates 😦

    • BigPup

      Mad Gold Jackson… Meh

  • Tiber_Septim

    #35 Dedication to the task

    • Sharkbait

      Sharkbait Jim Holystone

  • periloushare

    #8 Red Head Three Gates… odd, considering I'm already a ginger…

    • PerilousHare

      Curse the early morning! #28

  • MisteurX

    #34 That's Burger… A burger king!

  • Muadieb

    #9 I daresay find her.. -Squidlips Rat Jones

    • http://www.facebook.com/justincredable71 Justin Lentz

      Those eyes are killer. MOAR please

    • kcco hockey

      It is olivia wilde i know those eyed in any gear

      • kcco hockey

        Played on house and the change up

        • theWizz

          or the gif where shes cupping and jiggling her own tatas…

    • miles.v
      • Guest

        Thank you,

    • Liz for COTW

      I think that this beauty should be the next brit that shows us some skin pics, Kate is nice but those eyes!!! Damn

  • steelers4385

    Were all still up!

    • steelers suck

      steelers SUCK

      • Vent187

        Couldn't fucking agree more..

  • Simo

    Mad John from the West.

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