Please, I’m begging you, let me help you (37 Photos)

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  • Ba dum tiss

    R.I.P Dave on wheels

    • Danno

      Too soon..my feelers are still all mixed up and my beer is empty

    • Ba dum tiss

      Why all the thumbs down, at least it wasn't 'first', you people need to acquire a sense of humor.

      • Dave On Wheels

        I'm not dead queer!

    • scaggnettii

      BAHAHAHAHHAHAHA every time!

    • tom foolery

      it was a hoax. even the chive was fooled

      • Tyler

        You don't say?????

      • Tom

        Thanks for that info!

    • Vielsteak

      Dave on wheels isn't really dead?

      MIND BLOWN!!!

      • Reapsticles

        dave on wheels wasnt even dave on wheels..

  • rob

    #21
    Needs a ASS KICKING

    • Mr. Mugs

      Snuglife.

      • RYNO!

        I was thinking "Thuggie"

      • 2pac snugur.

        he didn't chose the snug life, the snug life chose him.

    • G-nazzi

      An* Fuck I hate when people don't use A and An properly.

    • DURRRRRRR

      Needs AN ass kicking. For god's sake, if you are going to make fun of someone for being an idiot, do it properly.

      • rob

        Fuuuuuck now we have the vocabulary police on the Chive.

        • G-nazzi

          Im gonna go try and get an chive shirt. See, its frustrating to read.

          • smallchinaman

            Who gives an fuck if you have trouble understanding the guys point? He is commenting on the Chive, not striving for an Pulitzer.

            • a-nom

              And this kind of sentiment is why the US educational statistics fall below the likes of…let's see – ya, I'm not going to even bother listing them off…the US is 33rd! Please learn to use proper vocabulary and punctuation, it's not terribly difficult. It's one thing for other countries to think we're stupid, it's a whole other story for them to have documented facts proving we're stupid.

              • r00s7a

                You are an a hole. Did I do it correctly?

              • smallchinaman

                Yep, not caring if a Chive post is grammatically correct is exactly why our education system is failing. You should run for office.

                • a-nom

                  Though you are correct in what you meant to say, your assertion states that the postings on this site are a direct correlation to the failing educational system. What you should have said is "Yep [sic], not caring if a Chive post is grammatically correct is a direct result of our failing educational system. You should run for office." That last statement however seems to insinuate that I'm stupid so therefore should run for public office. However, I'm the one who is actually able to construct a sentence in proper structure. Maybe you should run for office…(You see how I went all fourth grade on your ass?!!)

            • evad

              dumb and dumber

          • Pokes

            *Deep breath*…it's*.

            • Anonymous

              Exit grammar police, enter punctuation police…

  • Danno

    #36 I love this woman

  • SkyVader

    #16 – At least she had airbags to fall on.

    • Curious

      I just want know if this is "Things that Bounce" or "Things that Didn't Bounce"

    • http://www.realsports247.com RealSports247.com

      seems about right I mean she is blonde.
      http://www.realsports247.com

  • Porkins

    I laughed hard on a lot of these, but I'm going to pick this one just because . . . well . . . boobs #16

  • rob

    #24

    LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL You know some weird creep will pick these up

    • Hey.Now.HEY.NOW.

      They were gone before I got there =/

    • VedHead77

      They're gone. I checked.

      • VedHead77

        Someone named Paula picked them up 7 minutes ago.

        • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

          Meh, too tiny. These are peehole size.

          Hugs,
          Paula
          – the one you love to hate

    • Chooch

      That candy necklace tastes terrible

    • Latrobechiver

      they were harder to get than a black KCCO..but I'll be puting them on ebay soon

    • HOOO HAAAA!

      Is it considered good form if you sniff them before you buy them?

    • Toxic

      Basil, these beads taste like sh!t.

    • siuado

      Defiantly friendship beads!

      • 6655321

        Like people who really try hard not to be your friend? Defiant friends?

  • @thomygold

    We got one hour until hoodie time! It'll be $45 well spent. I am praying to Al Gore that the interwebs don't crash though.

    • blacklisted

      I was trying so hard to get one for my husband for Christmas and a BFM 3D but they were sold out in like seconds! Slow computers dont help much either…

      • geo

        hoodie is ugly

  • http://cinemaplastique.tumblr.com MigraineBoy

    #27 World famous for its nutty taste.

    • TheFrontier

      "Taste's like shit."
      "Austin, that is shit."
      "It's a bit nutty."

  • Bath Salty Dog

    #28 chocolate breast milk

    • davo

      that lady should give the kid up for adoption

    • socalmarti

      Snookie…

  • back2worknow

    #21 The new WTF blanket, wannabe gangster edition. Get capped in style!

    • Taco_Depot

      does it come with a matching pair of socks & sandals?

      • back2worknow

        No but underneath there is an orange jumpsuit with one leg rolled up!

  • SeriouslyDoIt

    Are we sure #28 wasn't trying to figure out to to use the #24 bracelets?

    • Chooch

      just threw up in my mouth a little.

  • tv_paul

    #6 Say …while you're down there….

    • Irish Chive

      Dat ass!

    • Fred Flintstone

      …tie my other shoe….

    • guest

      Tie my shoes…….I'm Liam Neason bitch. Hahahahahahahaha

      A close second to Rick James in coolness

    • Toxic

      What's the black square on her thigh?

    • Kato

      Shouldn't he be stroking her hair? Isn't that the norm?

  • Dully

    Kewl /2012/10/25/please-im-begging-you-let-me-help-you-37-photos/let-me-help-you-23-2/

    • BombasticD

      Please, let me help you…

  • Unfkngblvbl

    Fail………..fail everywhere.

  • mike

    #37 fucking wrecked, oww

    • I hurt watching that

      WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

      • guest

        I bet someone said YOLO…and look what happened

    • Roger

      Broken femur FTW!

    • I don't know

      What the hell did she think would happen?

  • tbjacobs

    #12 This is why I will have a son one day. FTW.

  • thatguy

    #12

    JESUS! Who has 46 unread messages? I have no friends 😦

    • hello?

      thought the exact same thing…

      • Joe

        To be fair, we're talking about a son who literally does an entire anniversary in a couple of hours…

        He's clearly a bamf.

    • Busternut

      Dudes either ignorant or just really popular.

    • Zuke

      Maybe he's one of those douches who just never replies to people?

      And come to think of it my phone is set up so I can often read a text without it being recorded as read, so maybe he just gets a lot of short texts?

      I'm just trying to be optimistic here.

      • I don't know

        Or, maybe it was fake. Why would this kid wait until the day of to remind his dad and make reservations? Especially if this happened every year? Seems a little fishy. At the very least the kid could of set a reminder on his dads iphone that repeats every year or something.

  • heathclif

    #37 did she not see the fence from the top? that had to hurt like hell.

  • tv_paul

    #24 I'm sure they've been stored in a lot darker places besides a garage.

  • Name

    #21
    not a snuggie, a Thuggie!

  • Dave On Wheelsd

    I'm alive, bitch!!!

    • Levian

      You think your name bugs people but no one really finds it offensive, just kinda dumb

  • hi mom

    #7 whats the deal with this one?

    • ThatGuy

      I guess because it's taped up out on the street?

  • blutodawg

    #37 no worries guys it's just a compound fracture…. I'll walk it off

  • LuvsHorror

    Haha, anal beads.

  • The_Truth

    #34 Probably took everything in Jims power not to put her on blast!

    • tralfaz

      Their lucky she didn't sew their ass.

      • The_Truth

        (Face palm)

        • John

          You have to be one of the dumbest fucking people I have ever ran into on this site. You're definitely not a troll based off of how ignorant and angry you get over the smallest shit. You really should have been aborted. God dammit, why can't I have been your dad and forced your slut of a mother to get you aborted?

      • Every Guy

        how would they ever poop again if she did?
        would it just come through the seams like a strainer?
        what if they had eaten peanuts tho?

    • Alex

      Thank goodness he she didn't sew him. #Facepalm

    • Guest

      She's an Obama supporter obviously.

      • 6655321

        "She's an Obama supporter, obviously." If you complain about those who run the country, you should at least understand our language.

    • Silverstone

      Yes- and another gratuitous lawsuit vanishes from the clutches of The Bar Association.

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