Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose (34 Photos)

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  • crustybubblechunks

    #16 Or you could break the cookie in half

    • Paladin

      As Mac has pointed out before, WAY to lazy for that. You might as well just run a marathon or something while you are at it…

    • Cookie Monster

      Break the cookie? Break?! The cookie?! Are you some sort of fucking heathen?! THAT IS SACRILEGIOUS!

      • Just Saying

        You could get a bowl.

  • Cracka_ass_cracka

    #1 Loss for the mom, solid win for Teach

    • MylesofStyles

      Silly mother. Everyone knows there are no schools in Serbia.

    • Marco

      Can't diss a mom for being dedicated to her son.

      • WroughtIron

        Forrest Gump, anyone?

    • Herby Sagues

      And I can bet the actual teacher of her son is really pissed off.

  • Parkview

    #21 the last 2 frams escalated quickly

    • Harry

      De-escalated*

      • NorCal420

        i see what you did there

  • turdferguson

    #13. This may hurt a bit…in the end….

  • jshiver15

    #9

    Their handwriting alone implies that they're an asshole.

  • Ooooh

    #32 Just play a different game in multiplayer…

    • sixdeadelves

      for me there's no question. "i got some booty i got some booty"

    • bernhern

      NOOO! Don't quit. If you quit now then the next time she wants to go shopping or do gardening then she'll say, "oh I see–you'll quit for sex but not to spend time with me"

      • MylesofStyles

        So…How's single life treating you?

        • bernhern

          I have a girlfriend but life in general is treating me pretty well…a sense of humor goes a long way. I like your semen picture Mr. Styles.

          • MylesofStyles

            Thanks Manti. Glad to hear you're doing well now.

            • bernhern

              Props on that one. My girlfriend is very real. Not saying I don't have an imaginary girlfriend as well though…her name is Stacy and we have an 'understanding'. Really though I don't think Forever Alone semen should be making relationship commentary on other people.

              • Urethra Franklin

                You just said you liked his semen pic. Now you're clowning on him for it? Step your game up

                • bernhern

                  sarcasm never transfers well. I did actually laugh about his manti comment though because, come on–that was golden.

                  • Donkey

                    I hate you because you're trying to be a good sport.

                    • G_Had

                      This is one of the most hilarious conversations I've ever read on theChive. Thank you *slow clap*

                    • MylesofStyles

                      Wow. That de-escalated quickly.

      • VedHead77

        This conversation will leave many an internet troll disappointed. I commend your reservedness.

    • Marco

      #32 Should have turned on Skype and "randomly" dialed her grandparents…

      • Guest

        Yeah, that's the better option to, oh I don't know, actually having sex. *smh*

  • yup

    32 I've left many raids for some pussy…. pussy > wow.

    • Geno

      I thought it was impossible to get laid if you play wow…Females must really be lowering their standards.

      • Craigery

        Prostitutes aren't picky, as long as you're paying.

      • Nobel Citizen

        He's bragging that he slipped more than once from the police on a prostitution raid. I know his sister.

  • CanadianChivette

    #32 story of my life!

    • Blue Bronco

      That's a shame

    • Craig K.

      You need a better boyfriend then.

    • CanadianMedic

      seriously where in Canada do you live Ill sneak in while he's playing games!

      • Canadodian Reprobate

        Let him play; while you and I play one on one.

        • CanadianMedic

          did you mean to reply to me with that? cause I'm not gay, not that there's anything wrong with that

  • Dry cleaners

    #5 I'd leave that bitch at the alter too if she showed up with a dress that dirty.

    • Paladin

      Hmm… I went the other way. If she showed up to get married to me like that, she would definately be a keeper. She would have to have an awesome sense of humor and tons of self-confidence to show up like that to her own wedding.

      • Dry cleaners

        OR the other way, she was that dirty because she was on her knees blowing your best man in the alley behind the church. Still wanna marry her then?

        • Detective Paladin

          You know, for a "dry cleaner" you sure can't tell anything about stains. The stain is all the way around, which means the whole thing was dragging on the floor, which leads me to believe there is an entertaining story about a carriage ride that went awry and the horse tried to run off a cliff, back to the future style. The knees are inexplicably clean, which throws your little theory out. So yes… yes, I would.

    • Vet

      That was funny!

    • Jen

      she went to a game of some sort after the wedding and her and her husband both got hammered . this was the end result. it was a news story from the UK

  • AnItalianChiver

    #18 that you're the problem..

  • Blue Bronco

    #20

    Keep the dick out of your mouth.

  • thatguy

    #33 fowl-play

    • Maverick

      Gooooooooooooooooose

      • E11

        the spin was unavoidable

        • Viper

          Keep sending him up.

    • Gus

      Buh-dum tss

  • MonkeyMadness

    #32 Wow, she's cruel! She waited til he was in the game!

    • Hara

      MACROS, FUCKERS!

    • OhioChiver

      Not true, the game has now just begun. 😉

    • FTW

      When the mood strikes…

      • TommyKnockers

        If only the rest of us gamers were so lucky as to have that offered while playing… I for one would play alot less often and would take more breaks.

  • patrick907

    Unofficial chive meet up in austin Texas email me at patbeth123@yahoo.com

    • Dave

      Hey me and my 15 best girl friends (who totally don't have dicks) are down to go. We love the chive, we don't have balls, and we're totally into meeting some strange guy in some weird bar. We're just about the most fun girls (of the non-having a dick variety) that I know.

      Check your inbox for our RSVP (and definitely not attachments of trannys with dicks)!

      Ciao!

      • Sterling

        I peed I laughed so hard

        • Simon

          I peed so hard I laughed

  • FreddyChiver

    #32 game, set and match

    • Bluto

      * snatch

  • CASURFRGRL

    #33

    Is it bad that I wish this would happen to people that irritate the f*ck outta me?!

    • Nobel Citizen

      Why would you wish for a person to smack into a penguin while driving?

      • CAChiver

        Penguin? Try Canada Goose!

  • sfb101

    #13 Shit is right!
    #17 Excellent
    #18 I wish…
    #22 Always
    #33 Goosed!

  • Hrdwood

    #22 and during our honeymoon and our wedding anniversary and on your birthday… and whenever the hell I feel like it for the rest of our marriage… really, I'm not bitter.

    • B-to-the-H

      Her mouth doesn't menstruate. Just sayin'.

      • some dude

        say that to a menstruating wife…

        hello blair from the excorcist!

        • Guest

          Regan.

      • r00s7a

        b-low job week!

    • windowlicker

      Just throw down a towel.

    • Permanent Guest

      It's a cycle… plan around it

    • Square

      Story of my life too, bro. Aunt Flo is always fucking up the good times.

    • sonny

      buddy that's why its periodic so you can plan.

  • nfnf

    #22
    NEVER fuckin' fails… Damn!!

  • http://twitter.com/ThomyGold @ThomyGold

    #29 not the FLBP I was looking for today…

    • Harry

      Nor 'things that bounce'

  • http://twitter.com/LosSaysSwag @LosSaysSwag

    #33 I don't think either of us saw that coming.

  • Joe

    #23 Love the Blackhawks and now you!!

  • Jeff

    #32 lol

  • B-to-the-H

    #10 – Drink entire bottle. Break empty bottle. Retrieve knife. Problem solved.

    • I don't know

      Or just drink the bottle and turn it over and grab the knife and pull it out.

  • Andyp

    #28 Yayyyyyyyyyyyy (insert kid with the fist pump) because I got my post on there!

    • SkyVader

      Man, I've been trying for two years to get something on here. So many reposts…..

      • Pat

        Great post bud. That is funny as shit if you really put that up on Wmass Craigslist. Belchertown here

    • Notknowing

      So you're the idiot who's too cheap to go out and buy another remote? Ya gotta leave the house some time.

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