With all the funny tweets and memes bouncing around the internet, it can be tough to tell if the person posting wrote it or they’re just passing it off as their own. Thanks to accounts like @kalesalad you can find and give credit to the original creators. Here are this week’s greatest tweets, straight from the horse’s mouth…
1.
Um… pic.twitter.com/D0Jx40r5RL
— Wayne Chu (@wayne5540) May 18, 2017
2.
"Anybody here named Jeff?"
Jeff: "Yes"
Geoff: "Yeos"— Matt Tobey (@mtobey) January 21, 2016
3.
Is this what private schools are like? pic.twitter.com/IrEriZsbvs
— HOLDEN (@holden_a_fork) May 17, 2017
4.
the cvs cashier asked me how im doing as i put some diarrhea medicine on the counter. "not great man ive got diarrhea" i told him
— deg (@degg) October 13, 2013
5.
if u park here, DM me pic.twitter.com/6sSZ5Kzv0H
— Internet Shaquille (@netshaq) May 10, 2017
6.
[burglar gently waking me] you live like this?
— eric (@ericsshadow) January 15, 2016
7.
are we gonna talk about how baby sting rays look like haunted ravioli pic.twitter.com/nQEQoiyhdZ
— rae paoletta (@PAYOLETTER) May 9, 2017
8.
[concert]
SINGER: hows everyone doin tonight
CROWD: woo
ME (from the back in a normal speaking voice): it's actually been a tough few months— Bob Vulfov (@bobvulfov) May 9, 2017
9.
Clerk: how can I help you?
Me (ankle-deep in standing water while the walls crumble from termite infestation): 1 computer and 6 guns please pic.twitter.com/g5A9lmYlxY— julian peppers (@chuchugoogoo) May 8, 2017
10.
My friend's toddler babbled "don't forget to subscribe" as he was put to bed. Kid watches so much YouTube he thought it means "goodbye"
— Tom Gara (@tomgara) May 6, 2017
11.
At the very least, you've got to use a smaller font, guys. pic.twitter.com/nlnoymR96h
— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) May 5, 2017
12.
ME: hey can i do something to help my grade
PROF: um…it's May
ME: LOL sorry, MAY i do something to help my grade— Ellie Sisk (@elliesisk) May 2, 2017
13.
When it hasn't been your day, your week, your month or even your year pic.twitter.com/6goraR8T6M
— swae lee fan acc (@Amlx_o) May 2, 2017
14.
All the Pringle ladies
All the Pringle ladies
All the Pringle ladies
All the Pringle ladiesGet their hands stuck
— Tilly (@tillygirl3) May 1, 2017
15.
— ari (@arimacmoney) April 13, 2017
16.
This child at my job has been acting up all day so I told him I'm a witch and he said prove it so I pulled my wig off. He almost passed out.
— Beyoncé Jr. (@Railynnnn) April 25, 2017
17.
"How's life?"
Me: pic.twitter.com/xsbIqg2fMl
— 🤔 (@danielguymyers) April 27, 2017
18.
me: i'm a very private person
someone: hi
me: so i'll start by describing some of my lighter traumas before i get into the real bad stuff
— J. Jennifer Espinoza (@sadqueer4life) April 25, 2017
19.
guy: I'm 6'4", homeless, I don't have a car, I'm unemployed, and I've been arrested 6 times
me: ….did you say..6'4"? pic.twitter.com/1gOCO37yNv
— ashley (@ashleyms030) April 27, 2017
20.
My girlfriend's been at a baby shower for like 3 hours that baby's gotta be so fucking clean by now what the fuck are they even doing
— Dan Duvall (@lazerdoov) April 22, 2017
21.
bout to pop these and call it a night 😴 pic.twitter.com/jlC8XNC3G8
— j. (@Iazyboy) April 9, 2017
