TheCHIVE Will Predict Your Future. Send us your photo right now! (40 Photos UPDATE: CLOSED)

predictions chive TheCHIVE Will Predict Your Future. Send us your photo right now! (40 Photos UPDATE: CLOSED)
You’re all bored at work/school right now so let’s have some fun. Bob and I have been licensed in the state of California as fortune tellers (and sex offenders). All you have to do is snap a photo of yourself and send it to thechivesubmit [at] gmail [dot] com, or use our handy-dandy upload page and we’ll predict your future! Be creative with this, guys. Now get those camera phones and get moving. Do it for your country!

Chive On!
John n’ Bob

UPDATE: Sorry folks, we’re closed for the day. Come back next Wednesday for more madness. And thanks for taking our abuse like a champ.

  • Equalizer

    #1 lost his hearing for playing loud music

    • kronusg

      Ahhhh,these are great!!

  • untold

    legoland robber is so appropriate

  • dor


    and that makes me happy cause my life is pretty small


  • HimAgain


    Its been done.

    I wait for Thursday what a disappointment!

    When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn’t work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.

  • mjones

    #2 is a dose of WIN for my Thursday

  • kmart

    12 isn’t that hot to me…

  • HellHathNoFury

    12 is effing hawt sects. No wonder everyone hates kmart.
    13 sounds like the best spell ever to me.

    • HHNFFan

      Send in your pic!
      …”HHNF” is finally discovered…
      Takes over the world!
      Mankind is saved.

      • cavemanlawyer

        SHE. IS. NOT. HOT.

        • Battleangel

          @ HHNF – that is not a good color of blonde for you. You should go more strawberry it will compliment your skin tone better.

          • HellHathNoFury

            Nope, dying it brown today, so had to go to work with it color-stripped. I’ve heard every blonde joke in existence today.

            • HHNFFan

              You are Beautiful no matter what color your hair is!
              # 27 FTW!

        • HellHathNoFury

          Never claimed to be. So, Insult Fail.

          • HeartUnderTheRose

            I know my opinion might not matter much, but I think you’re pretty. Unfortunately, most guys only find hot women who show off their body. They’re not looking at the person’s face, they’re looking at her body. Most chicks who I see guys saying are hot are fugly except for their bodies. Let them have their so-called “hot chicks”.

            • HellHathNoFury

              Yes, your opinion matters much, because you’re a smart attractive girl. Not the type to say, ‘looks don’t matter at all, it’s what’s on the inside, blah blah’. No one wants to be the ugliest chick on the block, but I’d rather be the smartest, funniest girl in the room and keep some class than be the hottest, sluttiest chick that can be thrown out with the trash when the next hot thing comes along.
              Thanks. your comment got me all doe-eyed.

            • CunningLinguist

              i think thats because most men infact have two brains, but almost never use the one that matters. i know, i am one. but HHNF, i disagree, i think youre really pretty no matter what your hairstyle or body type. charisma is what attracts people to others, and you dont seem to be lacking any.

  • MacheteJack

    I’m #22. And I totally would.

  • LovetheMO

    #1 has a sweet nasal warmer!!!

  • cown

    i seriously lol’d

  • fortnight

    fucks a dog.

  • CrazyJoeDavola

    #2 Freaking HOT!!!

  • lando

    the chive owner people are seriously hot

  • dolittle

    after seeing the captions why would anybody send their photo in?

    …just sent me photo in. damn!

  • anonymouse

    wow, you chive guys aren’t very funny are you? …probs best you just stick to the pictures and don’t try to type anything.

    • Darren lost


      i do think people are entitled to their opinions. but some of these are strait hilarious. i’m sitting here with like 10 of my fraternity brothers who are in tears right now. So while you might think they’re funny, i’m going to go ahead and say you’re wrong.

    • impressario

      yeah, kind of agree. this is the best they’ve done. really full of win

  • rmm318

    Yay! I’m #24..

    Hopefully I won’t be eating any dogs soon 😦
    But hey, I’ll take the rock star in Japan! Sweeeeet.

    • Joey

      Pretty eyes

      • rachface318

        thank you 🙂

      • isawoj

        Agree 100%. Purty eyes.

  • ChrisDG74

    Hello number 2.
    Giggidy, giggidy-goo.

  • AndrewStevens

    The Chive just knows me so well… My mask site could never be as fabulous as The Chive

  • Bill

    It’s HHNF! She really exists!

    • HellHathNoFury

      Much to the dismay of everyone at theChive, apparently.
      I’ll be off now

      • Bill

        Whatever. You’re a vital fixture of theChive. Only reason I read the comments. Stick around, girlfriend.

        • HHNFFan

          100% AGREE! Right On Bill !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Loveconnector

    #1 to #2 “Who wants a mustache ride?”
    #2 to #1 “I do! I do!”

  • rachface318

    #9 made me LOL

  • Mustafa_Beer

    Is it too early to propose? Or shall we wait til after the whole Japan thing?

  • cool runnings

    HHNF’s crowning moment

  • Equalizer

    They finally post my picture…

    • cowpoke

      it’s number 28 isn’t it?

  • rachface318

    Well, I have to eat a dog first….so before or after, thats up to you.

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