Amurika F Yeah! (53 photos)

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  • Adam

    #53. Amisha most wanted

  • BLS

    Score.

    • Mr. Science

      was going to down vote but you're score's at 0. didn't want to mess with the equilibrium

  • Cory

    Chive, #8 should be in legs category because they’re doin it right

    • Dorkfish

      Reminds me, isn't it time for another cut off jeans post

    • b0ils

      the south will rise again!

      • North

        Really? Didn't get you ass beat hard enough the first time?

        • South

          your mom.

          • North

            At least my mom doesn't double as my aunt, you in-bred red-neck fuck.

        • Hank

          Study history again. The South only lost because they turned a defensive war into an offensive war. If the South had never sent troops north of the Mason-Dixon line, the North would not have had a shot. So no, the South did not get its ass beat by the North. The South made one mistake which put them on a fast track for defeat. The victory by the North is not due to the North's ability, strategy, or troops. It is instead due to swaying from the original plan of a defensive war by the South.

          • Hank

            I would like to note that I in no way support the South seceding. I support a unified United States. I do, however believe that state's rights are very important.

            • j22

              Propane.

              • lonin

                and propane accessories.

          • JAFitC

            Like the defensive war they fought against Sherman's march to the sea, or the defense against the naval attack on New Orleans, just to pick a couple? Those didn't work too well, did they? The South made the "mistake" of being underpopulated compared to the North making them literally unable to survive a war of attrition, the "mistake" of being comparatively underdeveloped in terms of munitions and armament factories, and the "mistake" of being unable to consistently solve the blockade of southern ports by the North's navy.

            • Hank

              I will give you the blockade, it had a major impact upon the South. However, Sherman's march, which essentially ended the war, happened after the South had invaded the North. The South originally invaded the North because of cockiness over the Battles of Bull Run. The war was going well for the South up to this point. Admittedly, Bull Run happened very early in the war so I cannot be certain as to whether or not these victories are due to the skill or luck. I guess I lie on the side of skill because I've always had a weakness for lost causes, once they're really lost.

              • BHT

                The South had been thoroughly defeated in the western part of the Confederacy in 1862, well before Lee invaded the North. In fact, Lee's invasion of the North was a direct response to the early losses at New Orleans, Shiloh, and Murfreesboro. It wasn't a mistake that Lee had made – it was a ploy to try to take the war to the North and hopefully siphon off some of the occupying troops in Tennessee and Louisiana.

                I will give you that the war up to that point had been a stalemate in the Virginia theater, however, you need to give the Union army and Grant more credit for their victories out West in that earlier part of the war. Also, the rest of the Mississippi (Vicksburg and Port Hudson) fell to the Union in 1863, which had nothing to do with Lee's invasion of the North.

          • Craigery

            So basically, the South lost because of their stupidity. Isn't that WORSE than just admitting it was a military defeat?

            • Luke

              Wow can yall just enjoy the pictures, and not spark a debate. Thats pitiful, i live in the south and have all my life, slavery is bad simple as that. I still have a confederate flag hung up in my room and it says heritage not hate, i view it as the flag of the south. And the idea of seceding is stupid, oh and Texas rules

      • Craigery

        This time, I don't think the North would bother fighting; they'd just let them secede and form their own redneck nation.

        • j22

          Let's hope so. Maybe ya'll can join the European Union since you seem to think alike.

    • Yo Yo Ma

      Nice! The hotness almost cancels out that stupid, racist flag flown by the losers of The Civil War.

      • Seriously

        How typical that you believe that that flag represents racism. In fact it represents (to me, and ALOT of others) states rights, a hatred and fear of the federal government, a longing for simpler times, a connections with our heritage, a love for the underdog.

        You have no fear of the underdog, thats why you will not survive.

        • Jack_LeMac

          Spoon.

        • wakazoo

          a heritage based on enslaving other people. A love of states rights based on resenting federal interference with that heritage of… enslaving other people.

          for fuck's sake, simpler times? They were SIMPLER for the people who weren't being ENSLAVED. I am a white American and that flag is loathsome, all that is wrong with our heritage, a symbol of our greatest national shame.

    • ConstableDubs

      Haha, Southern people…

      • o9jiiujh

        i know right? what a bunch of retards.

        • Hank

          So says the person who neglected to use proper grammar or capitalization. Just because a person lives in the southern United States does not, in fact, make them dim-witted, slow, or gap-toothed. That is called prejudice, and it is funny how the reason many people dislike the pre-civil war South is used today by the North.

          • Craigery

            Maybe the South would get more respect from the North if they stopped waving the Confederate Flag and saying "The South will rise again!"

          • JAFitC

            As much as I disagreed with your comment above regarding the "mistakes" of the South, Hank, I wholeheartedly agree with your comment here.

          • ConstableDubs

            Come on now, it's just some friendly rivalry. I think a majority of us Yankees up north here have at least some prejudice against Southern folk. Talking with a real thick Southern accent is always a good time, it's funnier than it should be.

            • holyshit

              As someone from the north who now lives in the heart of the south and has live here for years, I truely feel the prejudices lie with the southerners. The term "Yankee" is a derogatory slur used commonly. There are stereotyopes for both, but the animosity still sesides with the south. A good example is how the American Civil War is tought to children here. It is called the War of Northern Aggression, not the Civil War.

              • BigHate

                What backwoods schools are you near?

              • j22

                Where the hell are you located? I have lived in the south my whole life. I was taught the standard "Civil War was because of slavery" history. I have never heard "The War of Northern Aggression" in my life…

                Fuckin Yank.

    • B-Abt

      they should scissor

      • tapsnapornap

        scissor me timbers

  • Unfkngblvbl

    #7
    Doesn't matter…………deep fried.

    • Etepi

      No wonder the American economy is in bad shape.

      • Pants

        #50 You're just jealous of our awesomeness

  • james

    amish

    • hMMMM

      #53 – the Bergholz Clan. Apparently, they got all hopped up on ye and weed and fucked up other Amish people, mainly cutting off their beards (the Amish beard is a testament to one's faith. Even women grow full beards by starting to shave daily when they reach the age of 6). Ok, the part about the female beards was a joke.
      http://tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com/2011/12

  • jschrageii

    #33 what's going on behind her?

    • Some Guy

      There's a behind her? Why can't I see it?

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=760102828 James Keogh

        Also isn't she Swedish??

        • HUNK

          Yeah, she was in a Brigade post a year or so ago.

        • HobbesLeviathan

          Yup…that's an AK-5C rifle (Swedish version of the Belgian FN FNC).

          There are some Swedes in Afghanistan, which looks to be where that photo was taken.

          • JohnSmith

            Possibly a Sig 550 instead?

      • andfukyamoms

        I dont know, just army stuffs

    • Alex Habib

      This chick is from Sweden

    • Son of Dad

      I have bad news for you…

      • Joyo

        Fuck you, stop saying what has been said a million times already

  • Unfkngblvbl

    #18
    NEED

    • wrangler86

      where might one attain such a marvelous item?

    • ...

      fat ass

      • garrett

        agreed.

    • Jack_LeMac

      It would be sweet to have in theory, but I don't think I could ever hand that device to a cashier and look them in the eye

    • BOB

      Where.. THE FUCK… can I get that?!?

  • Andy Tennant

    #8 There's no Bigger turn off than a neck that's red

    • bridgemaster

      false. Blue waffle

    • voiceofreason

      I was confused at first but now I understand…. by turn off you meant turn ON. Now it makes sense. Those gals are smokin!!!

    • Guest

      Sure there is…a fat chick with no tits.

      • A BiPolar Guy

        I'm not sure that's a possible combination

        • Chris

          You've never seen a flatso?

          • passwordistaco

            Holy shit I've never heard that before, I cried I laughed so hard

        • Craigery

          Kelly Clarkson. She's not fat, just a little chubby, but she illustrates the point. Her boobs are way too small for a girl her size.

    • D-Rod

      I'm born and raised in Georgia and I still support this statment. Redneck is entirely synonymous with ignorant.

    • BOB

      the racism flag killed it for me, too.

      • j22

        blah… dude, it doesn't represent racism in the south. Go to S. Padre one day. You will see all races partying under it.

        • WatchMeAsISecede

          This is true. The problem is that too many actual racists not in the south identify with it for some reason.

          • Yes Sir

            I have met more racists in the north – they just whisper about it.

  • anonymous

    first?

    • jackass

      Nope.

  • SimonPhoenix

    #1 – SO FREAKIN' TRUE!!

    • SpacemanSpiff

      ony

    • Kris

      By this logic roads, tunnels, schools, bridges, libraries, parks, water reservoirs, social security, medicare, the army, the marines, the navy, the air force, the national guard, the coast guard, the postal service, the F.B.I, the C.I.A., food and drug safety standards, and disease control are ALL bad word too. We could do without all this. As long as we don't have to pay taxes, right?

      • SimonPhoenix

        God Damn you to hell. You are a fucking eeedddiioooot! I just said that taxes are a dirty word .. NOT NECESSARILY what they give us. fuckin' douche bag .. stop reading into this .

        ..Shit .. I may have just gotten trolled .. oh well.

        • inspectmyclouseau

          Yah you just got trolled. Stop spelling like a teenage eeeeediiiiiiiiiot if you could. I mean I agree with you and all; taxes, big government, big brother, socialism, entitlements…all bad words but I hardly think Kris is "reading into this" too much. Political statements get political responses…amiright?

      • Dan

        Taxes going to ridiculous stuff, including giving billions to countries like Saudi Arabia and Pakistan, are a serious issue. But you're ok with that, aren't you?

    • ConstableDubs

      That's why you move to a state without individual income tax. One less tax to pay.

      • sssssssss

        agreed. i did, and it was the best choice i ever made. i don't miss the states at all.

      • lonin

        In the end you still pay. It just comes from somewhere else.

  • Dan

    #38 The best part of America!

    • Sluttypanda

      hipster photos?

    • garrett

      attention whores?

      • bollyver

        15 year olds with false eye lashes?

  • rikooprate

    #53 Oompa Loompas ain't M'ercan!!!

    • The_Dood

      Those are the Amish guys that were imprisoned for refusing to attached orange warning stickers to their buggies because orange is too bright of a color and conflicts with their beliefs. Something like that… Here's the full story that I don't feel like reading to summarize for you. http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2011/09/14/amish-me

      • rikooprate

        Haters gon' hate!!!

      • Somethings a mish

        I don't know that your story matches these guys- but we see the occasional police report of Amish getting arrested for public intox or dui (yes, horse & buggy driving). Some of them luuuuuve their liquor.

      • thebill

        thanx, wandering what was going on there.

        • Wing commander

          Ther's all massive !!!

  • Big_Curt

    #23 makes me feel better about myself

    • ROK247

      you only play wow 30 hours a week? damn casual.

    • canadupe

      This guys videos are actually pretty funny haha

      • https://www.facebook.com/Dermographicated Mike Page

        My kids love his mangoes video.

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000522611267 Kristen Weeks

        Dude…I played WoW for a while and I never got this mad when my account got hacked. Hell, I just stopped playing after a while and just let the hackers have it. Get a life, man, and maybe a stress-relieving hobby…

  • Unfkngblvbl

    #37
    Seems about right these days.

    • Craigery

      Because there's no such thing as God.

      • Unfkngblvbl

        case in point

        • Craigery

          America would be a better place if people realized it's up to us to make it a better place, that we can't wait for an invisible magic man to wave his magic wand and make it better for us, and if people stopped attacking each other because they think they know what the magic invisible man wants.

          • 0lssss

            or we could just stop being intolerable douchebags to people who believe something different than us. crazy, i know……

          • Juddery

            With religion the reason (or the excuse) for everything from 9/11 to the Tea Party, God has seen better decades. So, just as it was cool in the nineties to come out as gay, it was cool in the 2000s (especially for really smart people) to adopt another once-scandalous lifestyle choice: atheism.
            The non-believers were inspired by such prophets as Christopher Hitchens (who devised the term “the new atheism”) and Richard Dawkins. Hitchens’ book God is not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything was (as you might guess) an attack on religion, justifying the author’s own passionate atheism. This is like complaining against the management of the Elvis Presley Fan Club, and hence concluding that Elvis didn’t really exist.

            Dawkins’ book The God Delusion at least spends some time arguing why God doesn’t exist, based mainly on Charles Darwin’s theories. Darwin would probably be surprised that atheists talk about him so much, because he himself was not an atheist. Sure, there’s good reason to criticize religion and promote science… but exactly how does that prove that God doesn’t exist? The new atheism might be cool, but it makes about as much sense as… as… well, religion.

            • daveh873

              The point isn't to "prove" God doesn't exist (or at least it shouldn't be). The point is that it is improvable. You cannot prove there is or is not a God, so don't tell me I am wrong for believing one does not exist. It's pretty simple; it's called "faith" for a reason. People believe without having evidence proving either way. That's great, but don't try to tell me the country would be better off if religion was treated as fact and forced upon everyone. I'm quite fond of the separation of church and state we are supposed to have here.

            • Craigery

              The onus isn't on non-believers to prove God doesn't exist. That's like me saying "I'm the reincarnation of Elvis. Prove me wrong, or admit that I'm right." I'm not going to base my life around God in the absence of any proof that he exists.

              • ShakeyTheMoyle

                I'll just take the third choice: ignore you.

      • Underbaker

        And I don't believe in you, so that makes you non-existent as well.

        • huh?

          you may not believe in him but there's proof he exist, can't say the same for your "god"

          • Underbaker

            OK will math work? There is about a 15 billion to 1 chance that an amoeba with a minimum of 256 nucleotides (since it can move, eat, and reproduce) would have ever come together even in the most perfect conditions. Now look out your window and try to count all the different life forms you see realizing the 15 billion to 1 odds on even creating a single celled organism.

            • huh?

              you're stupid enough to believe in god. your argument is invalid.

              • Underbaker

                You are stupid enough to not see the obvious existence of an intelligent design to our universe, your argument is non-existent. By the way I never did say I believe in God, you just ASSumed it.

            • Craigery

              Still greater than the odds of an invisible magical man in the sky creating it all.

            • Smitty

              Show me the numbers and cite your sources.

              I can't believe though, that you are trotting out that tired old "Irreducible Complexity" trope. Although evolutionary Biologists aren't quite sure how life got started here on Earth, they are pretty sure it was a complex organic molecule whose make up was such that it was able to make copies of itself.
              http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Origin_of_life http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Protobiont

              Unlike you, I will cite my sources for my claims.

              (You are also straying dangerously close to the Logical fallacies of Argument From Ignorance, False Cause, Denying the Antecedent, Argument from Personal Incredulity, and Straw Man. Wow.)

              • Underbaker

                Since when is Wikipedia considered source worth citing from? But I did go to your sources to check your claims and every single paragraph was riddled with the words "Theory" "Hypothesis" and "Suggested". But since I have been challenged for a source how about http://www.infidels.org/library/modern/richard_ca… which says I have greatly under appreciated the odds as they state it as 1 in 10^125

                • Craigery

                  Still better than the odds of a magical invisible man creating it all in seven days.

                • Smitty

                  Yet another tired old trope. Dragging out the good old misunderstanding of the definition of the word Theory.

                  A theory is the best explanation of our understanding based on the evidence at hand. Science advances, data are refined and so are theories as the understanding increases. Sometimes theories are thrown away because the new observations don't match the predictions.

                  Some point to this and say that Scientists don't know what they are doing, they are just making it up as they go. They couldn't be more wrong. It is because they DO know what they are doing. It is all about comparing data to predictions and coming to the best possible understanding on the subject.

                  The religious types however latched onto an idea ~6000 years ago and haven't changed their minds since, despite 6000 years of contrary evidence.

                  • Underbaker

                    I was going to let it go, but when I read your cited sources at Wiki most of these "best explanations" are from the 1920's and are blown away with the discovery of DNA, but since they haven't been looked at again by another "Scientist" with a credible rating (i.e. don't believe in Intelligent Design") then they still stand today no matter how implausible. Not to mention their theories revolve around a mythical piece of organic matter from another planet/astroid and they blatantly ignore the obvious question of how that organic matter may have come about. So if it couldn't possibly happen on earth then it must of happened on Mars.

            • huh?

              first off that comment calling you stupid wasn't me, so you should just ignore that

              and second, that 15 billion to one argument might hold up if said amoeba was the only one around, but its wasn't there were hundreds of trillions of that damn things all created through millions of years of protein collisions. Since you say you know mathematics you probably already know that when you increase the opportunity for an event to happen the probability of said event occurring also increases, so when you have a fuck-trillion of these things floating around in the ocean the odds stops being 1 in 15 billion and becomes a more manageable figure.

              but that withstanding your argument still doesn't prove god exist, you're simply trying to use an alleged disproof of one hypothesis as prove your own belief without providing any evidence to support your stance that god exist. From where I stand its pretty simple, if you want me believe there is a god show me the evidence, if you can't then STFU

              • holyshit

                personal fan of fuck-trillion. Sorry to interrupt.

              • Underbaker

                Get an intense debate profile, easier to follow threads and people would have to hack you password (do-able, but is it worth it) to copy you.

                I can't look around this world and not see evidence that someone or something designed this stuff, the evidence is staring you in the face where ever you look. Now if you want to call it God or some experiment from an advanced civilization that is up to you. For me I am going to keep on trying to love my neighbor as myself. Sometimes my neighbors make it very hard.

          • Uhhh..

            It was cool in the 2000s (especially for really smart people) to adopt another once-scandalous lifestyle choice: atheism. The non-believers were inspired by such prophets as Christopher Hitchens (who devised the term “the new atheism”) and Richard Dawkins. Hitchens’ book God is not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything was (as you might guess) an attack on religion, justifying the author’s own passionate atheism. This is like complaining against the management of the Elvis Presley Fan Club, and hence concluding that Elvis didn’t really exist.

            Dawkins’ book The God Delusion at least spends some time arguing why God doesn’t exist, based mainly on Charles Darwin’s theories. Darwin would probably be surprised that atheists talk about him so much, because he himself was not an atheist. Sure, there’s good reason to criticize religion and promote science . . . but exactly how does that prove that God doesn’t exist?

        • ThatGuy

          This is the stupidest sentiment that theists ever express. I'd call it an argument but it doesn't rise to that level.

        • Craigery

          That's fine if you don't believe in me. At least you're not worshiping me and living your life based on what you think I want. That would be pretty foolish, wouldn't it?

          • Underbaker

            Would be a shame to follow a dude like Jesus, he summed up everything into 2 simple rules, love god and love your neighbor as yourself. If you don't like the first one fine, but you can't argue against what a wonderful world it would be to follow the second one.

    • huh?

      oh how I wish that picture was true

      • ThatGuy

        this

    • Ric Romero

      Another day, another troll bait pic on The Chive.

  • jrey81

    #25 i see underboob….#26 right on! still #1 ftw…

    • Handy

      yes, yes, yes.

  • Craigery

    #1 FAIL

    • notrealtoosureyet

      No Sir, you fail.

      • Tikin

        no bitch, you fail.

  • http://www.actionfiguretherapy.com Troll_Your_Mother

    #28 – FUCKIN' DOUCHBAGS, Thank GOD your worthless hipster liberal gay ass nonsense trend is DEAD!

    • Craigery

      Really? When did it die?

      • SimonPhoenix

        The chive said so .. the other day! DUH!? HAA HAA

    • Gabriel

      im pretty sure that the "gays" and the "ass" are going to be friends for a while longer

      • Craigery

        Heteros like ass, too.

    • Derpin

      So I guess the opposite of your rant is Thank GOD your redneck rightwing fag ass nonsense is dead?

      • DutchChiveFan

        Lets hope so.
        But hey, I'm a European liberal so…
        Been to the states too, liked it.

    • Slappy

      What about the rednecks who say "America's the BEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD" but have never been anywhere else? That's okay?

    • Petey

      umadbro?

    • Sean

      If you have been to Scandinavia and somehow think our fucked up market-failure version of healthcare where we profit out sickness is better, than you my friend, are a god damn idiot. Same goes for the welfare system, tax code, public education, and foreign policy of the US. On the other, if you haven't been to Scandinavia, and think the US can ever operate like the homogeneous countries of Scandinavia, than you my friend, our a god damn idiot.

      • Smitty

        It was our diversity that gave us our strength and it will be our diversity that destroys us.

  • Merrk

    I wanna see the rest of #25!!

    • dagleja3

      I'll second that motion!

    • The_Dood

      http://bellesandrebelles.blogspot.com/2010/07/bor

      Unfortunately that is the whole photo.

      • SimonPhoenix

        Thanks .. at least we got to see her face though.

        • Jimmy

          UNDERBOOB!

      • nope

        Noooooooo I was hoping…

    • Headfade

      No one wants a roundhouse kick to the face when she wearing those bad boys

  • Cindy

    #40 Sgt. Slaughter FTW!!!

    • The Guy

      My buddy named his cat Sgt. Slaughter back in 1997. She is still kicking ass to this day.

    • holyshit

      Whats funny is that this used to be what a big strong basdass looked like. Now he just looks like a fat drunk slob.

  • larf

    #26 Dont let that flag touch the ground but please take it off

  • jared

    #25…CUT THE CROP!

  • http://www.facebook.com/DettaVen Dana Xu

    #18 BILLIONAIRE

  • jetrome

    #40 What better way to influence kids than to have a GI Joe character/WWF wrestler named Sgt. Slaughter..

    • Dan

      He was awesome!

  • http://Thechive.com Matt

    Fourth

  • http://echogeo.wordpress.com/ echogeo

    #39
    Pretty sure this one is shopped.

    • Craigery

      Nope, totally legit. I went to high school with him. He was always kind of a douchebag. All he ever did was lift weights and eat mice.

      • SimonPhoenix

        Cool story, bro.

    • BirdNerd

      Love that no one has noticed that this is actually an AFRICAN fish eagle in the America post lol. Guess it takes a biologist to notice these tiny tiny details (insert epic sarcasm…)

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